A Pox On Both Their Houses!

, , , , , , | Working | October 11, 2019

(This takes place back in the early 90s, right before the chickenpox vaccine is released. I am only a toddler at the time and my family is about to go on a very expensive — and non-refundable — vacation. My babysitter at the time sometimes watches me with a friend of hers and the kid she babysits. That kid comes down with chickenpox, and the kid’s mother asks my mother if it is all right to expose me “to get it over with,” which my mom emphatically refuses due to our impending trip. She also tells my babysitter that she doesn’t want me to go over to that kid’s house while they are sick, which my babysitter agrees to. The next day, my babysitter is dropping me off and my mom sees the chickenpox kid in the car with me.)

Mom: “I told you I didn’t want her near [Other Kid]!”

Babysitter: “Oh, don’t worry, we didn’t have them in the house together at all!”

(I got chickenpox. My parents had to cancel the trip and forfeit their deposit. Twenty plus years later, my mom is still kicking herself over not being more specific in her instructions.)

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Too Much Play For That Boy

, , , , , , | Related | September 13, 2019

(Back in the seventies, my mom babysat a lot. One of her favorite stories was when she was babysitting a boy around eight years old. He had apparently gotten into his dad’s stash of — ahem — adult literature. When my mom found him with a certain bunny-themed racy magazine she took it away, much to the boy’s dismay. His best argument?)

Boy: “Hey! Give that back! My grandmother gave me that!”

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This Kid Is All Talk

, , , , | Friendly | August 20, 2019

(I’m babysitting a four- and a two-year-old. The two-year-old has just taken a toy from her brother.)

Me: “Give it back and tell him sorry.”

Two-Year-Old: “I can’t talk.”

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Shouldn’t Have A Cat Nap

, , , , , , | Friendly | January 4, 2019

A couple of summers ago, we allowed a couple college-aged girls to stay at our house for a few different weekends while we were away. My husband had met one of the girls before, and they were volunteering for the organization he works for, so we offered our place for them to stay for free.

None of the three weekends went well.

For two of the weekends, we came home to a sink full of dishes. The dishes were clean, but the sink was literally completely full of them, and they obviously needed to be put away. There were also chairs in random spots in the house, and games and controllers littered throughout the living room. Although it wasn’t a huge deal, I was also upset because I’ve always believed that if someone is nice enough to offer you their house for free, you should leave it the way you found it — and not create work for the people coming home late after a busy weekend away!

Throughout those weekends, they also lost their key to the house, and knocked over and cracked a lamp.

The worst thing, however, involved our cat. Thankfully, they didn’t leave the door open long enough to let him escape. However, one night, one of the girls decided to sleep in the living room, despite there being a room for her to stay in. Our cat was apparently bothering her, so at some point during the night, she decided to lock him in our bedroom, away from his food, water, and litterbox. I don’t know how many hours he was stuck in there, but it was long enough that he pooped on our bed and peed on our down duvet. Our cat is completely litterbox trained and has never done that outside of the box before that situation.

I still can’t believe this happened, even though it was quite a while ago. If you are staying at someone’s house for free, please be thoughtful and considerate!

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Smells Like Anti-Teenage Spirit

, , , , | Right | December 17, 2018

(I am fourteen years old. I start a neighborhood babysitting business to make some cash, and, after I start picking up steam, create a website. It is stated multiple times, in multiple places, that, although I am fully certified, I am only fourteen. Some people aren’t comfortable leaving their child in the hands of an older child, and I’m okay with that, but I inform potential clients beforehand on the website so they don’t think they’re all set and show up with a sitter that doesn’t exactly meet expectations. I have just been hired to watch a six-year-old on Mommy and Daddy’s night out.)

Me: *knocks on door*

Mother: *in makeup, heels, etc.* “Who are you!?”

Me: “I’m the babysitter. Remember?”

Mother: “No, no, no, no, no!”

Me: “I’m sorry? Is something wrong? I can wait a bit if you need more time…?”

Mother: “No, it’s not that! How old, are you, exactly?”

Me: “I’m fourteen, ma’am.”

Mother: “What!? I don’t want some… some… rebellious teenager putting a bad influence on my angel! Just look at your slutty booty-shorts and crop top!”

(I am wearing skinny jeans, a t-shirt, and a cozy, oversized hoodie.)

Me: “Okay, well, I’m sorry that I didn’t, erm, meet your expectations, but I stated multiple times on my website, and in my correspondences with you, that I am only fourteen.”

Mother: “No, you didn’t! You have false advertising, you liar!”

Me: *pulls out phone and shows website, texts, and e-mails* “Ma’am, as you can see, you’ve been informed of this multiple times.”

(Just then, the husband walks out, looking like he just got out of the shower, with his daughter in tow.)

Father: “Oh, great. You must be the babysitter? Nice to meet you. Um, has my wife gone over the schedule?”

Mother: “No! I’m not letting her watch my angel! She’s so slutty!”

Father: “Honey, the only skin I see is her hands, face, and neck. Plus, the reviews on the site were shining!”

Mother: “I don’t care! I’m not bringing a bad influence into my household!”

(He pulls his wife away and they have a hushed discussion. Meanwhile, the girl is playing with her dolls. Eventually, he returns.)

Father: “Okay, so date night is off. We’ll find a different sitter next time. Daddy’s playing tea party tonight. Sorry to waste your time!”

Me: “Oh well. It’s fine; no problem. I hope your search is successful!”

(Honestly, the wife astounded me. How on Earth can you be so ignorant? At least the little girl got her tea party!)

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