Baby(sits) Well With Me

| USA | Working | July 13, 2015

(I’m interviewing with a couple to babysit their three kids. The wife has been doing all of the talking, while the husband just leans against the counter.)

Wife: *turning to her husband* “Hun, do you have any questions for her?”

Husband: *he is covered in tattoos and seems extremely laid back* “Look, I just want to know that you’re not gonna kill my kids.”

Me: “Well, I don’t have any plans to currently, but you never know. Things can change.”

Husband: *laughs* “I like you.”

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Bambi: Unrated Version

| Jacksonville, FL, USA | Right | September 4, 2013

(I am babysitting my eight-year-old neighbor. They have just recently bought a guinea pig, and I am holding him.)

Girl: “My friend Chloe has a pet bunny.”

Me: “Oh really? What’s its name?”

Girl: “Humper.”

Me: “What?!”

Girl: “Yeah, her bunny’s name is Humper!”

(I am a bit confused, but then it dawns on me.)

Me: “Um, I think you meant to say Thumper.”

Girl: “Oh! Yeah, that’s what I meant. The bunny’s name is Thumper!”

(By this point, I am cracking up.)

Girl: “What’s so funny?”

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Brace(let) Yourself For The New Generation

| OH, USA | Right | March 22, 2013

(My friends and I are running a babysitting service for Valentine’s Day. The kids we are watching range from two to nine years old. I’m sitting with the oldest kid, making bracelets with her.)

9-Year-Old Girl: “Have you seen that YouTube video X-Box Girls Get Revenge?”

(This video has a lot of cussing and sexual jokes.)

Me: “Yes, I have. I think the real question here is why have you seen it?”

9-Year-Old Girl: “What?”

Me: “That stuff is aimed at high-school and college students, not third graders.”

9-Year-Old Girl: “Well, third graders have changed.”

Me: “Oh, yeah?”

9-Year-Old Girl: “Yeah! We’re a lot more mature and independent!”

Me: “Uh… huh.”

9-Year-Old Girl: “Now, can you tie this bracelet for me, please?”

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