Many years ago, a friend of mine used to work as a civilian research scientist at a local Naval base. One day, they had a new machine delivered and needed to fit an electrical plug to it. So, he went down to the store to get one. The following conversation took place between my friend and the store assistant:

Friend: “I need a mains plug, please.”

Store Assistant: “Sorry, but we haven’t any left.”

Friend: *Looking past the assistant at the shelves behind.* “But there’s one there on the shelf.”

Store Assistant: “Yes, but you can’t have it.”

Friend: “Why not?

Store Assistant: “Because it’s the last one, and somebody might want it.”

Friend: “…?”

He gave up, went off base, and bought one at a local hardware store.

I worked at a place where you couldn’t be colorblind because you were reading schematics and identifying connectors of varying colors. There were hundreds of tiny connectors in one array.

Somehow, by the grace of God, this guy got hired. Either they forgot to implement the colorblind test, or he successfully guessed his way through it.

He trains for a week and is put on the line to build $20k cables for missiles. Yes… missiles.

His very first connector, he spent all day on, soldering and connecting and signing the paperwork and the steps, and then gave it to quality control for inspection.

It was one of “The most f***ed up examples” of a connector anyone had seen.

The next day, the guy admits he’s color blind and asks whether he can keep the job. He’s let go because he cost the company $20k.

The connector was put on display in the HR office to drive home the importance of sticking to hiring procedures.

I recall my time at the military base. We had a big plastic trash can that we’d fill with ice and bottles of water and stick next to the front door for people coming in and out from patrols.

This particular day, the sergeant told a private to refill the trash can with water.

Private: “…Fill it with water, sergeant?”

Sergeant: “Yeah, get to it. Get that s*** full before we have to head out again.”

Sure enough, we all came downstairs twenty minutes later, and the private had opened up and poured the contents of several cases of water into the trash can; dozens of water bottles littered the floor.

To this day, I can’t describe the look of disbelief on the sergeant’s face. Without saying anything, he picks up one of the remaining full bottles of water and dunks it into the ice water.

Nor will I forget the look of instantaneous realization on that private’s face as his eyes grew wide and said:

Private: “Ohhhh. I thought that was a pretty stupid idea.”

Related:
H2-Slow, Part 33
H2-Slow, Part 32
H2-Slow, Part 31
H2-Slow, Part 30
H2-Slow, Part 29

My dad is on a fixed income, social security, and disability related to his military service. He goes through the VA for all of his healthcare. He has housing assistance from the state because his income isn’t sufficient to cover rent and everything else.

One day, I was trying to convince him that he should apply for SNAP so that he wouldn’t have to spend so much money on groceries. His reason for not wanting to do it was:

Dad: “The government doesn’t need to know what I buy.”

Me: *Astonished.* “All of your money and healthcare comes from the federal government, and the state pays your rent. They know everything they could possibly want to, and I doubt they care what kind of milk you buy.”

My uncle is a pilot and used to fly a lot of small planes. A few years ago, he and a friend decided to fly to the USA together in a one-engine plane. However, they decided to do this in January, and while it is the Brazilian summer, it is rather wet.

As they get to the north of Brazil, they find themselves surrounded by thunder clouds, and their little engine is soon straining under the amount of water being thrown at it. They need a place to land and fast.

Eventually, they manage to land at the military base near the most northerly town in Brazil, near the French Guiana border. There were four sergeants to greet them, looking a bit ridiculous in their t-shirts, shorts, and flip flops. After some chit chat, my uncle gets to the point.

Uncle: “So, sirs, when do you think we can fly out of here?”

Sergeant: “Well, do you know the difference between winter and summer up here?”

Uncle: “Um, no.”

Sergeant: “Well, in winter it rains every day, in summer, it rains all day!”

My uncle gives a grunt of laughter, thinking the Sergeant is exaggerating, while the officers cackle with this clearly traditional line used with the oblivious southern.

Five days later, still grounded because of the non-stop rain, my uncle is forced to concede that the Sergeant did, in fact, have a point.