Here We Pokémon Go Again, Part 41

, , , , , | Related | December 15, 2017

(I’m suddenly woken early in the morning by a series of texts from my sister.)

Text #1: “Hey! Guess what? Someone just wonder traded me a Furfrou named Dazzle!”

(I realize with horror that she’s seriously playing Pokémon at four in the morning.)

Text #2: “I’m going to put it in my party with my Slowbro, Zazzle, and together they can be ‘Dazzle and Zazzle!’”

Text #3: “And then I’ll put them next to Lilith, so they can be Dazzle, Zazzle, and a Salazzle!”

Text #4: “And then they’re going to start a comedy troupe together and I’ll be rich!”

Me: *banging on the wall to her room* “Oh, my God! Go to bed!”

(I later found out she named her Wailord after me because I yelled at her for waking me.)



Here We Pokémon Go Again, Part 40

Here We Pokémon Go Again, Part 39

Here We Pokémon Go Again, Part 38

Will Give You A Good Whiterun For Your Money

, , , , , | Related | December 14, 2017

(My brother is playing “Skyrim” and I’m looking at my phone. Note that I wear glasses and he doesn’t.)

Brother: “I have too much stuff!”

Me: “Sell some, then.”

Brother: “No, I need it all! I bought a house to store it, but I can’t find where it is! The guy said it has a saddle on it.”

Me: “What? A saddle? Are you sure?”

(We look and look, but it turns out that he has bought a horse! I laugh and laugh for ages.)

Me: “And you’re always saying that I have bad eyesight! Time for you to go to the doctor. Blind as a bat!”

Brother: “Shut up.”

Must Have Missed That Detail From The Old Testament

, , , , , , | Related | December 8, 2017

(My family is playing a fast-paced game where you need to get another person to guess a word or phrase. My uncle is trying to get my dad to guess a phrase.)

Uncle: “What Joseph’s father gave to him.”

Dad: “A coat.”

Uncle: “Yeah, but if he were an octopus.”

Dad: “A coat of arms!”

Uncle: “Yes, that’s it!”

I’ll Raise A Glass To That Pun!

, , , , , | Related | December 6, 2017

(For Thanksgiving, my family rents a cabin in the woods called “Glass House.” A few people are playing Settlers of Catan after dinner. The game has stacks of cards for different supplies — wheat, wood, stone, sheep, etc. I am holding a stack of stone cards when I drop them on the floor.)

Me: “Whoops.”

Cousin: “[My Name] just dropped 1000 pounds of stone through the floor.”

Me: “So, I guess people in Glass Houses do throw stones.”

Cousin: “Get out of this house.”

Roll Twenty On Irony

, , , , | Friendly | December 2, 2017

(We are playing a board game where your characters can be inflicted with mental and physical illnesses, which causes them to have penalties during gameplay.)

Friend #1: “[Friend #2], you can’t do that; you have penalties!”

Friend #2: “Oh! That’s right! I forgot I had amnesia!”

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