Two guys are in my lane at the superstore, which is odd already, as two other checkouts are open and there aren’t any other customers queuing at those.

The first guy has a PlayStation game in his hand, changes his mind, and tosses it into a bin of $5 items. I internally roll my eyes and make a note to go fish it out after I’ve served these two customers.

The guy pays and leaves, no issue. I start scanning the second customer when he presents the same PlayStation game.

Customer: “I found this in the $5 bin.”

Me: “That’s a $60 new release, sir.”

Customer: “Doesn’t matter. It was in the $5 bin, so you have to honor that price.”

Me: “It was actually just dropped in there a minute ago by the customer ahead of you. I can’t sell it to you for $5.”

Customer: “Nope. None of that matters. You have to give it to me for $5 or I’m reporting you for false advertising.”

Me: “Go on then.”

Customer: “What?”

Me: “Report me for false advertising. I’m a minimum-wage employee at a billion-dollar company. Why should I care? Now, am I checking you out for your other items?”

The customer just stood there, stuck in some mental loop where he didn’t anticipate me not really giving a f***. He just tosses the game on the belt and walks away, leaving behind all his other items.

I saw him walk up to the previous customer in the parking lot, and they started arguing, so they were obviously in cahoots.

I used to work for a large toy superstore, and they decided to have a special sale on the Wii video game system.

I’ll never forget walking into work and seeing the sale sign, just a few weeks before Black Friday, that said:

Sign: “GET THE Wii FOR $99.99!”

I immediately wanted to call in sick because I knew my day was about to be destroyed, but a manager had already seen me, so it was no use.

You see, with that sale, you could indeed get the Wii (which retailed at $249.99 at the time) for $99.99, but like all deals… You had to read the fine print. 

To get the Wii for $99.99, you had to purchase $150 of other items to make that deal happen. These other items were:

• A 20-pack of our store-branded AA batteries.
• A lame looking Olympics game with popular characters from two different franchises.
• A specific gaming ottoman for the Wii.
• Four items of your choice made by Gear Ape for the Wii system.

It would ring up as $99 for the Wii and $150 for the other items, meaning you ended up spending the regular cost of the Wii of $249.99.

Did many people actually read all those details? F*** no.

I barely made it to the electronics section where I worked before I heard my phone ringing, which, as expected, was someone asking: 

Caller: “Are you guys really selling the Wii for $99?!?!”

These were the easier part of my day because I got to let the customer down gently, and because they’d already questioned the legitimacy of the sale. You see, our store had sent emails out about the deal with the subject line “GET THE Wii FOR $99.99” with the details INSIDE the email.

Then came the trouble customers. Person after person who’d thrown on their shoes and rushed to the store to get their hands on a $99 Wii, only to b**** at me when I told them there was more to the sale and they needed to read the ENTIRE email. I’ll never forget one particular woman, though.

Customer: *Walks right up to me and ignores my greeting.* “I want the Wii for $99.99!”

Me: *Internal groan.* “There’s more detail to the sale than that, you also have to purchase these other items to—”

Customer: “—I don’t care about any of that and don’t want it, I just want the Wii for $99.99!”

Me: “I’m afraid I can’t do that. The entire detail of the sale was in the email and all the advertising.”

Customer: “I just told you I don’t care about all that. The email said the Wii was $99.99, and you need to sell it to me like that.”

Me: “I’m sorry, but that’s not how the sale works.”

Customer: “Then that’s false advertising. You are falsely advertising.”

Me: “It’s not false advertising. All the detail is there in black and white.”

Customer: “Not it’s not! It’s false advertising, and I want to see a manager!”

This, of course, was not the last time I had to call a manager over that day to deal with someone who started whining about false advertising. My manager did set her straight, though, and of course, she didn’t get a $99 Wii.

That sale was only three days long, but it was absolutely miserable. I got called names by rude customers, got b****ed at, and told myself I’d quit on the spot if they ever did another advertisement like that again. Yes, there was an occasional parent who thought it was a good deal, but mostly it was just people who didn’t know how to read. 

Also, for those of you about to come in and say, “Well, I’d just buy the bundle and return all the other stuff, then keep my $99 Wii”, you can’t do that. Anything sold as a bundle/deal in my Toybox store also had to be *returned* as a bundle to keep people from doing just that.

I’m in a book club, and five of us entered as a team in a local quiz evening. One question should have been an absolute steal for us, but…

Question master: Marnie and Michael unexpectedly find themselves together on a long-distance walking holiday. Name the book and author.

Me: *Quietly to our team.* “That’s the book we just read! The Lake District one. What was it called…”

Team: *Blank looks.*

Me: “We discussed it at the last meeting; I can’t remember the title.”

Team: “Uh…”

Me: “Oh come on, Marnie and Michael, walking across the Lake District, it rained a lot, there were maps…”

Team: *Blank looks, shaking heads.*

Me: “We talked about it for half an hour!”

Team: “Uh…”

Me: *In desperation, recalling NAR.* “It was blue!”

Entire Team: “OH YEAH that one!” *Writing down ‘You Were Here’ by David Nicholls – and yes, it was the correct answer.*

Me: *Headdesk.*

I’ve always found that talking about gaming is a good ice breaker. I was born in the 90s, so I grew up with some of the earlier consoles, such as PlayStation and Xbox. On this particular day, I’m working with a fairly new colleague, helping to straighten an aisle. We get into the subject of gaming.

Colleague: “So, what are you playing at the moment?”

Me: “I’ve just restarted Fallout 4, actually! I left it too long, so I forgot what I was doing, so I just started again.”

Colleague: “Oh yeah, I’ve heard a lot about that game. What’s it about?”

Me: “Basically, surviving the apocalypse. It’s good. The main storyline is finding your son, but to be honest, there’s so much to do that you forget you even have a son! I played it for days before remembering my son.”

My colleague laughs, and we chat some more about his favourite games and upcoming games we’re excited for. And that’s when we become aware of a customer stomping up to us with a manager in tow. We just caught the tail end of her talking to the manager.

Customer: “…and I demand that you call social services while you’re at it! This one, here!”

Manager: “[My Name]? You don’t have kids, do you?”

Confused, I shake my head.

Customer: “Rubbish! I heard plain as anything you admit to child neglect! You leave your son for days while you play your stupid games!”

I couldn’t help but laugh, and after a horrified look from the customer, I realised she was deadly serious. So, I stood there beside tinned fruit and other delicacies, explaining as gently as possible to the customer that the only child neglected was a pixelated one.

To give her credit, she did laugh it off with us, and the manager jokingly warned us against speaking about child neglect – either virtual or otherwise – on the shop floor. I admire her for looking out for kids to the extent she did, though, even if he is fictional and lost somewhere in a wasteland.

Customer: “I got this laptop from here, but it can’t play my games!”

Me: “This is an entry-level laptop. What games are you trying to play on it?”

Customer: “Cyberpunk 2077.”

Me: “That’s a very graphics-intensive game with high-end PC requirements. This laptop isn’t going to handle that game at all.”

Customer: “So you admit you’re selling a low-quality product?”

Me: “Sir, of course it’s a low-quality product. You got a laptop for $150, it’s not going to be able to play high-end gaming PC games. That’s like spending $5 for a football game and expecting to be able to shake the players’ hands.”

The customer got his refund, because he thought “a computer is a computer” and “all computers should play all computer games”, and the manager didn’t have the will to argue.