Maybe Should Downsize Her Expectations

, , , , , | Learning | March 23, 2018

(I’m in my college dorm’s computer lab back in 2000. A girl I know from my hall, who’s a bit high-strung, starts freaking out.)

Girl: “My paper! I just finished writing my paper and it’s gone! The computer ate it! OH, NO!”

Girl’s Friend: “Hey, [My Name], are you good with computers? Can you help?”

Me: “I’m not that good with them, but I’ll look.”

(I literally just click around for thirty seconds and find the issue.)

Me: “Here! See? It wasn’t actually gone; the computer screen just wasn’t showing it. It was right here. See?”

(She had accidentally minimized the window.)


Arabian Plights

, , , , | Right | March 22, 2018

(I work at a hotel, in the United States. A customer with a heavy scowl thrusts his tablet at me.)

Customer: “You fix Internet!”

Me: “Umm.”

(I take the tablet, and it’s ALL in Arabic.)

Me: “Uh, this is in Arabic. I can’t read it.”

Customer: “You fix!”

Me: “I can’t; I can’t understand Arabic.”

Customer: “No, you fix!”

(I try to explain to him that I can’t fix his Internet because I can’t understand his tablet. He doesn’t listen. I give up and press a few things here and there. The screen turns a weird dark color, and it looks as if viruses are being downloaded.)

Me: “Er… Sorry, I can’t.”

(He took the tablet back and stormed off, looking upset. Later, he wrote an email to the general manager, all in Arabic. The general manager didn’t bother translating it, thank goodness.)

Need To Turn It On? Copy That!

, , , | Working | March 21, 2018

(I work as a receptionist in a small company. Since the office space here is pretty small, the firms share some of the office equipment, including a copy machine that’s located right next to where I’m sitting. Each firm has their own code they need to input before they can start copying. It’s morning and I’m working away on my computer when I hear someone walking up to the copy machine. I ignore them, but then they start grunting aggressively, so I turn around and recognise one of the secretaries.)

Me: “What’s wrong?”

Secretary: “This machine isn’t working. The numbers aren’t showing up on the screen.”

Me: “Is it on? You’re the first to use it today.”

(She sheepishly looks at the side of the machine, face-palms, and presses the “ON” button. I turn back to my own work, but she speaks up again.)

Secretary: “It’s still not working. It shows dashes instead of numbers, and when I press the ‘start’ button, nothing happens.”

(I get up to look at the machine myself and immediately see what’s going on.)

Me: “You just forgot to use your code first.”

(Since I know all of the codes for work-related reasons, I quickly insert her firm’s.)

Me: “Here. Now you can use it.”

Secretary: “Oh, the numbers are back!”

(She then proceeds to put in the code I just inserted, and I barely manage to stop her from pressing “start.”)

Me: “Whoa, wait! I already unlocked it. You just nearly made over 700 copies.”

(She literally jumps back from the machine, then she hides her face in her hands, groaning.)

Secretary: “I shouldn’t have skipped my morning coffee.”

(We eventually managed to get the copies she needed. And after she got a late cup of coffee, her work quality increased drastically.)

Don’t “Play” With Their Settings

, , , , , | Working | March 5, 2018

(Where I work, we clock in and out via a program on the computer in the back office. This is also the same computer that new employees sometimes use to watch training videos. We’re a small enough store that this rarely causes an issue, but on this particular day a new hire happens to be watching a video on the computer when I have to clock out at the end of my shift.)

Me: “Can I get in there just for a sec to clock out?”

New Hire: “Sure!”

(She scoots her chair back to allow me access to the computer. I lean in, pause her video, pull up the window to clock out, then bring the window with her video back up when I’m done. However, rather than playing the video, she just sits there staring at the screen for a moment.)

New Hire: “Um… How do I…?”

(Internally face-palming, I lean in again to click the play button on her video for her.)

New Hire: “Oh! Thank you!”

(Now, the new hire was middle-aged, and I understand that older generations sometimes struggle with new technology. But the concept of pressing a play button to make a video play has been around, in one form or another, for decades. How does one get this far in life without making that connection?)

“Entering” A Whole New World

, , , , | Right | March 2, 2018

(This happens at least twice a day at our self-serve computer, after the customer has asked for help.)

Me: “If you’re emailing it, you need to first open the Internet browser.” *points to it on the screen*

(The customer has a blank look on their face.)

Me: *pointing again* “Right there. Okay, now type in the provider of your email address.”

(The customer types in their email address in the website bar.)

Me: “No, not your full email, just the website you use to get at your email.”

(The customer types.)

Me: “Then, hit enter… Hit enter… The enter key, on the keyboard… The one that says enter.”

(The customer finds it.)

Me: “Now, click right here so you can sign in… Right here… No, left click. No, left click. Click the left button on the mouse… That’s the right button.”

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