Outage Of The Brain

, , , , , | Working | December 12, 2017

(I’m calling my ISP’s customer service line to report that my Internet had gone down the night before. Everything goes normally up until right about the end of the call.)

Customer Service Agent: “All right, looking here it looks like there was an outage in your area last night right around midnight and that it came back online a little after two.”

Me: “Great, so we should be good to go, then?”

Customer Service Agent: “Yep. Now remember, in the future you can also sign into our website at [ISP].com where you can receive updates about outages in your area.”

Me: *thinking* “Oh, yes, I’ll just hop online to check why my Internet isn’t working.” *speaking* “All right, thanks. Have a good one.”

He’s REALLY Away From Keyboard

, , , | Working | December 11, 2017

(I’m an IT technician who is currently fixing another worker’s webcam remotely, as I am on one side of the country while he is on the other. He has told me he will be away for half an hour, so I’m left to work alone. I finish updating the drivers and quickly load the webcam software to see if that has fixed the problem. When the window loads I’m met with two men completely naked and standing up, engaged in sex, one being the guy whose computer I’m working on. I’m in shock for a couple of seconds when I hear “OH, S***” and see them turn quickly and the webcam (which is integrated into the laptop’s monitor) face downwards. I quickly disconnect. I’m a little shaken, but ultimately decide to try and forget about it. I quickly send an email confirming the problem has been fixed and my intent to close his ticket.)

Me: “It would seem the drivers needed updating, and from what I’ve seen the webcam is working correctly now. If there are no other issues, I will be closing your ticket.”

Worker: “Wow, sorry about that. I didn’t expect it to be fixed so soon. I hope it wasn’t a tad much for you, seeing that. Let’s just keep this between us. Thanks for the help!”

(I never had any more tickets come in from him, thankfully…)

Both Sides On Poor Form

, , , , | Working | December 11, 2017

(I work in a department that offers grants and loans. Recently, management has made a decision that applications will only be processed if applications have been completed 100%. Previously we’d let applications through if they hadn’t indicated how they heard about the scheme or indicated if their car was first- or second-hand. While this makes sense, I am currently trapped in limbo with a customer with the following set of emails. Please note that the customer had emailed their application.)

Me: “Unfortunately, we cannot process your application at this time as you have not indicated your preferred email address for correspondence. Please fully complete the application and return this to us to allow us to proceed.”

Customer: “It’s the email address I’m using just now.”

Me: “Unfortunately, we can only accept this information if it is on the application form. We are not able to accept this information in any other way.”

Customer: *attaches incomplete application again* “It’s the email address I’m using just now.”

(Management still wont let me accept it and we’re stuck in a loop. Whose fault is it really?)

Not Always Right Supports Net Neutrality

, | Right | December 4, 2017

We here at Not Always Right like to keep things light and fun. We tell stories about bad customers, infuriating people, outrageous incidents, and occasionally, those small moments that restore your hope for humanity.

But lately we’ve found it hard to ignore the Federal Communications Commission’s plan to dismantle landmark regulations that ensure equal access to the internet – essentially destroying Net Neutrality in the United States.

To get a bitter taste of what a world without Net Neutrality could look like, we have just the story for that, sent to us from Indonesia:

 

I Don’t Give A Netflux

(One of the major ISPs in Indonesia, who’s also the main telecommunications provider, is blocking Netflix since its expansion, due to Netflix’s refusal to share its revenue with the ISP. To compensate, they provide their own rip-off streaming services, but the service is really bad. One day I decide to stop my subscription, since they’re blocking Netflix, and also due to their really silly Internet filter. If we cancel our subscription, we could also lose our landline, and I don’t want to lose it, so I need to make sure.)

Me: “Hello, I want to cancel my subscription to your Internet service. But I have one question: would I lose my landline number?”

ISP: “All right, ma’am. Could you tell us the reason you’re ending your subscription?”

Me: “I can’t watch Netflix. You block them.”

ISP: “Sorry, but they’re not our product. To stream movies and TV series, we suggest [Rip-Off Streaming Service #1] and [Rip-Off Streaming Service #2]. Have you reconsidered?”

Me: “YouTube, Facebook, and Twitter are not your products, either, but I can still access them; why is that? Besides, your streaming service is really poor, and it crashes most of the time.”

ISP: “Netflix doesn’t cooperate with us, but the other sites have.”

Me: “So, you decided to just block them?”

ISP: “Netflix’s content is full of violence, so we decided not to cooperate with them.”

Me: “But [Rip-Off Streaming Service #1] and [Rip-Off Streaming Service #2] have also provided violent content in their service. To be fair, the responsibility of filtering content is the customer’s responsibility, and I’m capable of it.”

ISP: *ignoring my comment* “I’m sorry, ma’am. They’re not compliant to this country’s regulation.”

Me: “First you say it’s because they don’t cooperate with you, then you say that it’s because their content is violent, then you say that they’re not compliant with regulations? Which one is true?”

ISP: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but we have [Rip-Off Streaming Service #1] and [Rip-Off Streaming Service #2] with quality movies; have you reconsidered?”

Me: “…”

(I guess I won’t mind losing my phone number, then.)

 

If you support net neutrality, make your voice heard! This form goes directly to the FCC, but it must be done from a desktop computer. #netneutrality #resist

Here’s a super quick and effective way to support net neutrality:
1. On a computer, (not your phone!), go to: www.fcc.gov/ecfs/filings/express
2. Enter (under “Proceeding”) the numbers 17-108.
3. In comments, say you support Title 2 oversight of ISPs. Also say that you support net neutrality.

*Fill in the form carefully; they’ve made it less friendly and impossible to fill in by phone, on purpose.
*Don’t be silenced. Do it now. Copy & Paste and Pass it on!
https://www.fcc.gov/ecfs/filings/express

 

To get back to our business of telling stories, enjoy a roundup of some or our more memorable stories involving access to The Internet!

The Cable Guy Ignores The Cable
Some Take It More Seriously Than Others
Future Technology
By Process of Indiscrimination
Full Of Hot Air
(Bodily) Equipment Malfunctions
From Boob Tube To Boob Tubes
What Would Jesus Do For Free Wifi
I Swear By My Password
A Tidal Wave Of Bad Excuses
It Was A ‘No’ Brainer

You Can’t Recycle Old Ideas

, , , , | Working | November 29, 2017

(Windows 95 has just come out. I am working in IT for an engineering firm. We are upgrading all computers to Windows 95 and I am walking around, checking that everyone is logged on and working okay, when I get called over by one of the engineers.)

Engineer: “Can I ask you a quick question?”

Me: “Of course!”

Engineer: “See that Recycle Bin?” *pointing to the screen*

Me: “Yeah?”

Engineer: “Does someone come round and empty it?”

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