Will Have To Shop Around For Some More Shopping

, , , , , | Working | March 6, 2018

(I work for a supermarket in the home delivery department. I have spent the last week and a half acting up into a role of team support. My job is to support drivers while they are on the road, and to communicate with the customer service team regarding the status of orders. Sometimes we have orders that are “stored,” which means that, for whatever reason, payment has been unsuccessful. At these times, we call the customer to try and sort the payment out. If the customer does not answer, we leave a voicemail and arrange for an email to be sent. In very rare circumstances, customers don’t get their shopping and call customer service to find out where it is. More often than not, this is after the delivery window, and the shopping is returned to stock. This leads to the following conversation with customer service.)

Employee: “Hi there. It’s [Employee] from customer service. I’m trying to track down a customer’s order.”

(After we establish who the customer is and I explain that the order was stored, this conversation happens without fail.)

Employee: “Is there any chance if the customer pays that we could get their shopping out to them?”

Me: “No, sorry. That’s not possible; the transaction has expired and we can’t access it anymore to take payment.”

Employee: “But what if we could get them to pay? Can we get the shopping out to them?”

Me: “No. There is no possible way for them to pay; they have to reorder. The transaction has been closed; we would have no way to take payment. The shopping has been returned to stock.”

Employee: “Well, we really need to make this customer happy, so can we not take payment?”

Me: “We have no means to process that. I can’t do the impossible.”

Employee: “Well, I’ll just have to phone your store manager to confirm this.”

Me: “Uh, okay. Fine.”

(Every time, the store manager comes in and checks that 1) the transaction has expired and 2) the shopping is returned to stock, and then tells customer service this. Customer service then explains that they promised to get this shopping to the customer that day and that we need to make it happen. The manager refuses and tells customer service not to promise things like that next time. This happens far more than it should.)

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They Need To Adjust Their Adjusters

, , , | Working | March 5, 2018

(We’ve recently had the worst hailstorm in years in our area, with pieces of hail golf-ball-sized and bigger. Because our house doesn’t have a garage, all three of our vehicles — two personal and my husband’s work car — look like someone took a hammer to them. I call the next business day to file a claim with our insurance agency, and a couple days later I get this call from the local adjuster.)

Me: “Hello?”

Adjuster: *in an overly cheery voice* “Hi, is this [My Name]? This is [Adjuster] from [Insurance Company] calling about your vehicle damage claim.”

Me: “Yes, thank you for calling me back.”

Adjuster: “Sure! We’d love to get you in to our drive-through estimate center, so let’s get you on the schedule.”

Me: “Uh, well, doesn’t it say on the claim that all three of our cars were damaged?”

Adjuster: “Yes! Okay, let’s get you scheduled.”

Me: “It will be difficult to bring all three cars in at once without help, since there are two of us. We might be able to get a friend to help on Saturday.”

Adjuster: “Oh, we only do damage estimates on weekdays from eight am to five pm!”

Me: “Right… Well, my husband is off on Fridays, but I only get a half-hour lunch break and wouldn’t have time to drive in from my office and back for the estimate. Also, we’d still need to get a friend to drive the third car if you insist on seeing all three of them at once.”

Adjuster: “Yes, we’d like to see them all at the same appointment. The drive-through claim center is really the fastest way to get an estimate.”

Me: “Understood. However, there’s still the problem of three cars and only one person who is for sure available to drive. Don’t you have a field agent who can come to our house?”

Adjuster: “Yes… We can send a field agent. But the drive-through center is much faster!”

Me: “Yeah… We’d still need the field agent. On a Friday, so my husband can be here.”

Adjuster: “It will take longer!”

Me: “That’s fine. Please assign us to a field agent.”

Adjuster: *pauses* “All right! I’ve put you on the list for a field agent to call you. It may take a couple of days; the drive-through center is really much faster.”

Me: “Thank you.”

Adjuster: *STILL cheery* “I guess now you can forget this conversation even happened!” *click*

Me: “No… I don’t think I can.”

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Doesn’t Have A Taste For The Job

, , , , , | Working | March 5, 2018

(We go to a fast food drive-thru. Note for the purpose of the story: my mom is allergic to artificial sweeteners, and cannot have diet soda, whereas I am diabetic and need to drink a diet soda.)

Mom: “I would like a #1 combo with a large diet soda and a #2 combo with a large regular soda, please!”

Worker: *sounding annoyed* “Pull up to the window.”

(We figure she has just had a bad day. Mom pulls up, and the worker hands us two UNLABELED sodas.)

Mom: “Excuse me, miss? Which one of these is the diet and which one is the regular?”

Worker: *completely serious* “I don’t know. I’ll have to taste them.”

Mom: “Uhhh, NO. You’ll redo them. NOW!”

(A passing manager heard the commotion, got the story, and quickly remade our sodas. Then, he apologized and slammed the window shut so he could yell at the worker. My mom and I looked at each other, confused, and then burst out laughing. We did not see that worker again.)

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There Is Mushroom For Improvement, Part 4

, , , , | Working | March 4, 2018

(A restaurant has a promotional mushroom burger. I am easily recognized as a foreigner by looks, and my Turkish is still not perfect. All conversation is in Turkish.)

Me: “I would like to have the mushroom burger.”

Worker: “No problem. It will take some time to prepare it.”

Me: “No problem.”

(I pay and step aside to wait for my food. Just two minutes later, a guy who knows the cashier comes up to him.)

Guy: “I want a mushroom burger. But I am in a hurry!”

Worker: “It will take a while. This woman ordered one, and we prepare it freshly!”

(The guy looks me up and down.)

Guy: “Just give me hers! I am in hurry!”

(I don’t say anything because I am not sure if I understand all of it properly. Instead, I look at the guy’s receipt and I see that indeed we have ordered the same item. After ten minutes or so, the food is ready and I go to grab it, but instead, the guy snatches it.)

Worker: “It is something else!”

(I take the guy’s receipt, which he leaves behind, and say:)

Me: “Then, why is the same item written on the receipt? At least don’t lie!”

Worker: “Uh… I am sorry. I didn’t know that you would understand and notice it!”

(I never went there again. Shortly after, the location closed or moved away.)

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If Only The Trains Were As Efficient As The Announcements

, , , , | Working | March 3, 2018

(Berlin is known for its lack of politeness. Actually, people are somewhat proud of being “honest and direct,” no matter the situation, so being insulted by service personnel in the city is pretty much part of an authentic experience. Public transport workers in particular are said to be pretty grumpy. I am travelling by train from one end of the city to the other, so it is a rather long train ride, and the automatic announcements, which announce upcoming stations and the like, aren’t working. Therefore, the train driver has to do that himself, and seems to become increasingly frustrated to the point of being absolutely hilarious.)

Announcement: “Next stop is Pankow. Please mind the step when leaving the train.”

Announcement: *at the station* “Please leave the train carefully. Now, waiting passengers please enter the train, and mind the step. Departing southbound now.”

Announcement: *near the end of the line, at the station* “Marienfelde! Get out! Get in! Shut up! Leaving now!”

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