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Some People Will Just Believe What They Want To

, , , , , | Working | April 4, 2023

I’m a warehouse division manager for a company. A very well-known brand for dishwasher detergents is our customer, and the customer’s supply chain manager complains that the trucks cannot reach our warehouse due to rain. The warehouse is uphill and she insists that the road is not good.

By luck, I’m already in the warehouse and the truck she mentioned is in the warehouse unloading, so there are actually no issues. I call the customer.

Me: “Truck is here; no worries. We will meet the deadline.”

Customer: “No, it’s not there. I just talked with the transporter and they said they cannot drive on that f****** road.”

Me: “Sorry, I really don’t get where the information is getting mixed up, but the driver is here.”

I hand over the phone to the driver.

Driver: “Yes, I’m at the warehouse.”

Customer: “You are lying! The truck is not there, and we will be late for the delivery.”

Me: “Here is a photo of the truck in the warehouse; I just shared it with you in your email. Can you check, please?”

Customer: “Yes, I can see. This is probably an older photo. I will reach out to your boss and complain about you.”

Me: “Well, as you wish!”

The truck was unloaded, nothing was delayed, and the next day, the supply chain manager of the company behaved as if nothing had happened. She was famous for being abusive in the logistics industry.

And she was promoted to a regional job. 

I left the position and left the company. No money is enough for this kind of pressure.

Pay It Forward With A Lesson Learned

, , , , , , , , , , | Right | April 4, 2023

This happened back in the late 1990s. I was a seventeen-year-old teenage schmuck who had moved away from home and was living on his own.

I had recently bought my first desktop computer. I had a strong interest in computers and programming, but at that point in time, I was what can be described as “knowing enough to be dangerous”, which meant knowing more about computer systems than the common Jill Smith but still being ignorant enough of critical technical information that I would only learn through either years of experience or formal training… or after a disastrous consequence.

The latter is exactly what happened when I tried to install an upgrade on the motherboard, and the system wouldn’t boot… at all. It was mid-January, I didn’t have a car, and the temperature was in the single digits with wind blowing snow everywhere. I had to improvise by borrowing a child’s wagon from my neighbor, wrapping up the system in a blanket, and lugging it on foot to a computer repair shop.

I pulled in the wagon and the technician gave me a puzzled look. I could only give an embarrassed laugh and say:

Me: “I don’t have a car! I’m only seventeen!”

As I described the issue, I remember him putting his head on his desk and stifling laughter before lifting his head back up and asking some friendly questions about me. Finally, I asked:

Me: “How much is it gonna cost to fix?”

Technician: “Run along home, pal. I’ll give you a call when I get done.”

Two days later, I got a call from the technician.

Technician: “I got it straightened out. Took me a h*** of a while, but I got it back running again. For future reference, please refrain from DIY upgrades. Have a certified technician do it for you.

Me: “Lesson learned! I gotta grab my wagon and then go to the bank, so I’ll be there in about ninety minutes. How much do I owe you?”

Technician: *Sound of stifling laughter* “Stay there. I’ll be over in about fifteen minutes. *Hangs up*

The technician showed up at my house shortly afterward with my computer in his car. I heartily thanked him for the kind gesture of bringing my system to me. When I asked him again how much I owed him so I could go pick it up from the bank, he chuckled again and then gave me a pat on the shoulder.

Technician: “Don’t worry about it. Take it easy!”

And he drove away, leaving me completely stunned and speechless.

I ran into him a few years later. After a friendly chat, I asked him why he had been so remarkably generous and sympathetic to a total stranger.

Technician: “You reminded me so much of myself back when I was a teenager, from the moment you stumbled into my shop with that Radio Flyer wagon and your PC all wrapped up in a blanket… to the time you innocently explained how you screwed up the system by slapping on that piece of hardware to your motherboard and assuming you were good to go. I felt so bad for laughing at you, but it was just the whole situation. It reminded me of when I was sixteen and my dad bought me a motorcycle. I was so d*** proud of that thing. Then, one day, I saw something on a TV show about a way to soup up the engine. Not doing an ounce of research, I ran on down to a parts store, grabbed some stuff, and went tinkering on my motorcycle. Similar to you, I found myself in triple-digit Arizona weather, pushing my dead motorcycle to a repair shop. After the guy laughed his a** off at me and asked what the h*** I was thinking, he repaired it. But he told me the bill was on the house that time just because he found the situation so funny, cute, and pathetic. I figured I’d pay the kind favor forward when you came in.”

That was over twenty years ago. I’ll never forget that kind act when I was fully expecting to have to cough up half of my savings account to get my system fixed because of my own recklessness.

I did pay the favor forward years later when my goofball sister thought it was a good idea to try to overclock her system using instructions from a YouTube video, resulting in a critical system failure that took me almost a week to get ironed out.

Please Stop Making Me Do Math

, , , , , , | Healthy | April 4, 2023

I have recently had my second child and am at her “first days of life” appointment. I have also brought along my three-year-old daughter. After the appointment, we go to the front desk to check out.

Me: “Can we also schedule [Three-Year-Old]’s four-year checkup for April?”

Receptionist: “Sure, how many months is she?”

Me: “How many months is [Three-Year-Old]?”

Receptionist: “Yes.”

Me: “She turns four in a few months.”

Receptionist: *Irritated* “But how many months is she?”

I try to calculate.

Me: “That’s not really something I kept track of off the top of my head after she turned two, but she’s forty-five months.”

We Thank You For Your Maintaining Internet Service

, , , , , , , | Right | April 4, 2023

I am an avid video game collector and am always seeking out new places to shop for old games. While passing through Georgia, I find a couple of rare games I’ve been trying to find all over the country for years in great condition. (Mega Man 7 & Mega Man X3 with its manual, if you’re curious.) Eager to fill in these gaps in my collection, I open my wallet to get out my credit card, and the store clerk spots my military ID.

Clerk: “Oh, you’re military? I’ll put in your discount.”

Me: “Uh, thank you. I’m just a contractor, though.”

Clerk: “Uh-huh, we thank you for your service.”

Me: “Well, I haven’t technically served; I’m a contractor. I’m not enlisted, nor an officer, and I don’t wear a uniform. I’m a network engineer.”

Clerk: “I understand, sir. Thanks again for your service.”

Me: “…You’re welcome.”

I am not sure what else I could have done to make him understand what a military contractor is, but I tried my best, and I saved over $70!

Wood You Believe It?

, , , , , , , | Working | April 3, 2023

Hospital Executive: “[Doctor] left me a note that I’m worried about. He said he, quote, ‘really likes all the misogyny in the director’s office’ and ‘wishes we could have more.’ Did something happen?”

I read the note.

Me: “Mr. [Executive], that word is ‘mahogany.’”