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How Dare You Satisfactorily Answer My Questions!

, , , , , | Right | September 2, 2021

I used to work at a hole-in-the-wall retail computer repair shop in a not-so-good part of town. I’d frequently get customers who had outlandish requests and even more outlandish complaints.

I made sure to post printouts with info about all of our services on the wall next to the register in an attempt to ward off complaints and questions. This included prices, payment types accepted, etc.

Me: “Your total is $84.02.”

Customer: “What?! You said it would be $79!”

Me: “Yes, $79 with sales tax, which is $84.02.”

Customer: “Where does it say that there’s tax?!”

I indicated the prominent “plus tax” on the invoice.

Me: “It’s printed right here on the paper.”

Customer: “How was I supposed to know that there’s sales tax?!”

I pointed to the poster next to the register.

Me: “State sales tax info, right here. The number on the bottom is for the Connecticut General Assembly if you would like to complain.”

The customer could only grumble for the rest of the transaction. He didn’t expect me to have that info on-hand and displayed prominently!

Mom Does Not Compute

, , , | Related | August 27, 2021

I’m a teenager in this story. My laptop has a persistent hardware issue; every time I get it repaired, the issue gradually recurs over the course of several months, starting as an annoyance and eventually rendering the computer unusable.

I’ve noticed the problem starting again and have decided to be proactive about it for once. I don’t want to send the computer back to the manufacturer, wait several weeks, and get my hard drive wiped, so I start looking for other options. I learn that a nearby major retailer with a good reputation has a repair service that will even work on computers they didn’t sell.

Since I’m not driving yet, I ask my mom to take me there. We’re standing in line when Mom decides to start eavesdropping. An employee is talking to a customer several places ahead of us.

Employee: “That will be $200.”

Mom: “That’s way too much! We’re not getting your computer fixed here.”

Me: “But Mom, we don’t even know what the other customer got done! Shouldn’t we at least find out what they’d charge me for my problem?”

Mom: “No, we’re going to look somewhere else.”

We leave the store and start driving around town. Mom spots a building by the side of the road with a sign saying, “We repair computers/phones/tablets.” She pulls into their parking lot.

Me: “I don’t like this. I never even heard of this place, and it looks kind of sketchy.”

Mom: “Let’s at least talk to them and then you can decide what to do.”

We get out of the car and go into the shop. Mom seems inexplicably excited to learn that it’s run by a couple of guys who recently graduated from the local university. Granted, we both went there, too, but it’s a BIG school. It’s not like we know these guys.

Mom: “Can you help my daughter? Her computer isn’t charging right.”

Repair Guy: “Sure, show us the computer.”

I left the computer in the car because it was heavy, so Mom gives me her keys and tells me to go get it. I’m gone for maybe five minutes, if that. When I get back inside, the repair guy and my mom are in the middle of a conversation.

Repair Guy: “So, it’s $190, and you can pick it up in a week.”

First of all, that’s almost exactly the amount Mom said was too much, and second of all, wasn’t I supposed to have a say in this? Or at least a minute to talk to the repair guys about what’s actually wrong? I’m about to point out all of these issues when Mom shoots me a “Shut up” look.

Mom: “That sounds good! [My Name], give them the computer.”

I really didn’t have a good feeling about this, but it’s rarely worth the trouble to argue with Mom, so I handed over the computer and we left.

On the ride home, Mom proudly told me how, while I was outside and unable to participate in the conversation, she “explained” to the repair guys what was wrong with the computer. Of course, since she didn’t use it herself, she left out a couple of important symptoms.

A week later, we picked up the computer. To their credit, the repair guys had at least finished on time, and the computer did work when I picked it up. They claimed that they’d found the underlying cause of the problem and the computer should work fine now.

The problem recurred in two weeks and I was never able to get the computer to work properly again. I was now out the cost of a new laptop PLUS two hundred dollars.

I didn’t complain to the repair shop because it may not have been their fault. I have no idea what my mother, convinced she knew what she was talking about, actually told them. Of course, I’ve never been able to convince her that any part of this is her fault, either.

The Ones Who Claim To Be The Most Christian Are Usually The Least

, , , , | Right | August 24, 2021

I’m a female working in a tech shop, repairing computers. A woman comes in dressed head-to-toe in black with a long skirt and a large cross necklace.

Me: “Hello! How may I help you?”

Customer: *Scowls* “I want you to fix my computer right now, missy! And do it for cheap!”

Me: “Okay, let’s take a look here.”

I open the browser and immediately see multiple pop-up ads for different things, including adult websites, gaming, and so on.

Me: “Okay, it looks like you’ve been going to [Religious Website] every day.”

Customer: *Scoffs* “Yes.”

Me: “Well, that site has a bunch of malware. I personally prefer—”

Customer: “You little heathen! How dare you say that [Religious Website] is contaminated?! You’re probably a devil worshipper!”

Me: “No, actually, I go to church every Sunday. It’s just that you can’t always trust certain religious websites, and this is one of them. I personally prefer [Different Website] because it has no malware. The way you can tell if it’s got malware is by—”

Customer: “SHUT THE F*** UP! I don’t care about your hip new website. I want you to fix this one!”

Me: “Okay, first of all, watch your language. There are kids here. Secondly, I don’t control what goes on the Internet. You need to stop going to this website. I can clean out your computer for [price], or you can do it yourself and I can walk you through it. Or you can buy a new laptop altogether, which would probably be best, based on the amount of crap on here. I will not tolerate you cursing at me and calling me names. I am a Christian and I go to church every Sunday morning with my parents.”


Me: “Of course.”

I found my supervisor and warned him about her. He looked furious, and I thought I was in trouble for a second, but he went straight to the woman and told her to watch her mouth or he’d throw her out. He said the same thing I said about cleaning out the computer.

She finally agreed and paid in cash, muttering about how I was a female dog and the church hated witches like me. My boss cleaned her computer and told her not to return unless she planned on being nice.

She hasn’t been back since.

Ivan, Cousin To Boris, Fights Scammers, Too

, , , , , | Legal | July 10, 2020

I work in a small, one-man computer repair shop. I frequently get scam phone calls throughout the day, typically offering business loans and free cruises — the usual rubbish. One day, I get fed up with the scammers and decide to have a little fun.

I answer the phone in a thick Russian accent.

Me: “Hello! You are speaking to Ivan Yesnikov of Yesnikov Computers! How may I be of helping you today?”

Scammer: “Hi, I’m [Scammer] calling from the free cruise giveaway! You’ve won a free cruise!”

Me: “A ‘free cruise?’ Is of sounding good, but… how I win this cruise?”

Scammer: “Oh, you probably stayed at one of our many hotels over the past year and were entered into the contest.”

Me: “Ah, I am of understanding. But let me be of asking you something. What is name of company you calling from?”

Scammer: “This is the Five-Star Resort Company.”

Me: *Suddenly enraged* “‘Five-Star Resort Company’?! IS FRONT COMPANY FOR KGB!”

Scammer: *Exasperated* “Sir, we are not the KGB.”

Me: *Still enraged* “Is exactly what KGB would say! I know this name from when I in Siberia. I no let you send me back! Ludmila and I will be waiting for you!”

Scammer: *Click*

Boris Delivers When Boris Feels Like It
Boris Can See Through You
Boris Now Fights Scammers
Leave The Accents To Boris
Boris Need No Warranty; Boris IS Warranty!
When Boris Busy, Use Marko

Finally Managed To Hire The Right Employee

, , , , | Working | April 17, 2020

(While working on getting new full-time work, I take on a couple of extra part-time jobs so I lose money more slowly while I’m still under-employed. One of those jobs is working at a store that specializes in selling secondhand Apple devices. The store also does repairs and I am hired as a technician. At this point in my life, I’m in my thirties, I’ve already been working in IT in some form for ten years, I have a Bachelor’s degree in Computer Engineering, and I have many industry certifications including a full CCNP. I’m interviewing for $100K+ jobs, so fixing laptops and iPhones in the backroom of a shop is more than one step back for me, but the extra money is helpful.

The manager is the only full-time position; there are two part-timers besides myself. The manager is not the most reliable person and frequently doesn’t show up or leaves and doesn’t come back for the day. He also refuses to ever turn down a repair job, leaving me to struggle at tracking down replacement parts for ten-year-old or older laptops and hope they function correctly when I install them. I’ve told him that he should insist that those customers replace their computers, but he’d rather I just repair any computer he throws at me.

Eventually, my time there is coming to an end. I have several promising interviews and need the time to prepare for them, but I agree to remain on-call until I start my new job. My boss has put out an advertisement but is quite disappointed by all the applicants he has been receiving.

This takes place after a twenty-year-old college student comes by to discuss his application with the manager and me. The guy is in college and has a little part-time experience, but he also spends a lot of time tinkering with devices he gets his hands on. I think he’d be great for the position, but my manager seems to disagree.)

Me: “What’s wrong with that guy? He’s sharp and eager to please.”

Manager: “He’s got no professional experience, no certifications, and he’s still in college!”

Me: “Are you… Wait, are you trying to find someone with my qualifications?”

Manager: *shrugs* “Something close, at least.”

Me: “[Manager]… I took this job as a temporary gig to make ends meet before starting a new professional job. You’re not going to find another 33-year-old Cisco Certified Network Professional who wants to make $16 an hour fixing iPhones. This is a job for a young, technically-minded person who’s just starting out in the job market, and quite frankly, they’d be better at it than me. I have one bad hand on top of a coordination disorder. I’m not well suited for working with tiny phone and laptop components. These kids are going to be faster than me and less likely to break things. That’s one of the reasons I switched from end-user support to networking. Yeah, he might need to use Google more often than I do, but that guy would be a great long-term replacement for me.”

(The manager still did not seem too enthusiastic despite my plea, and my last day came shortly after. The manager and the owner’s nephew were left to do all repairs themselves, but they were only experienced in fixing MacBooks and iPhones, so their ability to fix PCs was hampered without a tech. I stayed on as on-call only, but they only ever had me come in once before I accepted a new position out of state. I came by six months later when I was visiting Maryland and stopped into my old store. The manager was MIA that day, but there were two employees including the young man we interviewed before I left. Either the manager took my advice or he realized he had no choice but to hire him. I chatted and got caught up with them. The manager had been becoming less reliable since I left and would take off work to run errands or to study for a class with increasing frequency. I frankly cannot understand why the owner still keeps him around.)