(It’s around the year 2000. My mother has brought one of our computers in to have some issues checked out, as they’re bad enough to interfere with the computer’s functionality.)

Tech: “Okay, I took a look, and it seems you’ve got a couple viruses that need to be taken care of.”

Mom: “Viruses?”

Tech: “Yeah. You need to be careful what sort of websites you visit; some may download things to your computer without you noticing.”

Mom: “Uh-huh… That’s an interesting problem for a computer that’s never been connected to the Internet.”

(We did get the computer fixed, somewhere else.)

(The battery to my computer has died. To save gas, I walk to my local computer repair to see if they can order one, so I don’t have to drive to a battery supply store miles away. This was a mistake.)

Me: “Hi, I’m hoping you can order a battery for me. I know I need a battery for a [Model].”

Clerk: “Are you sure you want that, sweetheart?”

Me: “Yes. I took a picture of the back of my laptop so I know that is the model I need, and I know the issue is with the battery because I tested it.”

Clerk: *disbelieving* “Ooookayyyy.” *types on computer* “It’ll be four hundred dollars to order it and install.”

Me: “I know how to install a battery, and I know for a fact that the highest the price should be is about a hundred fifty, and the lowest I saw was around seventy dollars. Even then, installation shouldn’t cost as much as the battery itself; you just take out two screws and click it in.”

Clerk: “Look, sweetie: that’s the price. Take it or leave it.”

Me: “I guess I’m leaving it, then.”

(I start leaving when a woman comes in. I ask what the issue is with the laptop she’s carrying because I don’t want her to have the same issues I did with the condescending clerk.)

Woman: “I was told I need to reinstall the operating system because I shut it down during an update.”

Me: “They just tried to rip me off here for a new battery. I know [Tech Team] at [Popular Electronics Store] will do that for about a hundred dollars. Go there if they try to overcharge you here.”

Woman: “Thank you!”

(After that I left. I hope that store got its act together, but I doubt it.)

I work at a computer repair shop. We also fix cracked phone, tablet, and even e-reader screens.

This woman comes in with a e-reader that has a cracked screen. I take it out of the case to get the model number off the back, and I notice it’s got some crusty, nasty food stuck on the corner. The whole corner is covered in who knows what. I am disgusted, but little do I know, this is about to go to a whole other level of disgusting.

As soon as I get the model number and set the e-reader down to type it in to our computer, the lady picks up the e-reader, says, “Oh, I must have spilled something or other on it,” and licks it off! She then hands me back the e-reader, covered in food and her spit.

I nearly throw up right there!

(A lady comes in with an external hard drive.)

Customer: “I backed up some pictures to this, but deleted them to make room. I need to get those pictures.”

Me: “Okay, well, let’s see if we can recover them. Do you know what folder the pictures would have been in?”

Customer: “What folder would I have put them in?”

Me: “Um… Often people make a folder called ‘Pictures,’ but they could have been anywhere.”

Customer: “Well, can you just give me step-by-step instructions on where and how to find them, and then I can look?”

Me: “Well, no. I don’t know where they are. That is what I am trying to figure out.”

Customer: “Well, my son put them on there and then deleted them to make room.”

Me: “Do you know when he deleted them? That would really help.”

Customer: “I don’t remember. When would he have deleted them?”

Me: “I really couldn’t say.”

(The conversation just kept going in circles, so I eventually looked at every recoverable file before I found what I was looking for.)

(I work at a computer store in the repair section. I’ve just diagnosed a customer’s computer and called them to say what needs fixing.)

Me: “I found that the email program wasn’t loading due to a corrupt file caused by bad sectors on the drive. My recommendation is to replace the drive.”

Customer: “Can I have some time to think about it?”

(This is normal and usually means the customer is considering buying a new machine rather than repairing their old one. When they ring back:)

Me: “So, have you decided to go through with the repair?”

Customer: “My nephew just Googled the problem and it couldn’t be a faulty hard drive.”

(I was dumbstruck at this point. They were waiting for my response and I didn’t know what else to tell them. Apparently my answer, based on evidence and backed by 20 years experience, held less weight than an answer from a relative who spent five minutes on Google. I wanted to just tell them to fix it themselves, but then I would still have to charge the diagnosis fee. In the end, I did what any self-respecting worker would do: I handed the problem off to the other tech to deal with.)