Unfiltered Story #204402

, , | Unfiltered | August 11, 2020

(I work in the former sales office of a terrestrial wireless (not cellular) internet provider, now operating as an installer warehouse. We are located next to a farming equipment dealer that owns a cellular dealership. Both farming and cellular dealers have the same name and logo, and my company’s name and logo look nothing like theirs, other than it also has the words “wireless” on the sign. Their cellular dealership is about 2-3 blocks away from the farming dealership, and you can see the signs for both on a good day. The following happens at least once a month.)

*Customer walks over from [Equipment Dealership], reads sign that says [Company] EMPLOYEES ONLY, tries locked handle, and hammers on front door.*

Me: *Unlocks door* “Can I help you?”

Customer: “Yeah, I’m here to buy a cell phone. Why was your door locked?”

Me: “Sorry, you must be looking for [Cellphone Dealership], they’re about 2 blocks down the street, look for the same sign as [Equipment Dealership].”

Customer: “But I need a cell phone!”

Me: “This is [Company], not [Dealership]. If all you want is wireless internet for your farm, I can give you the contact info for our sales team, but they do fixed location wireless, not cellular.”

Customer: “But the sign says [Dealership]…” *vaguely waves their hand at [Dealership] across the parking lot.*

Me: *Pointing up at our own sign above the door.* “Sorry, no, we’re [Company]. [Dealership]’s equipment sales is next door, and their cellular store is 2 blocks down the street.”

Customer: “So you won’t help me?”

Me: “I can help you if you want wireless internet at your farm, but if you want a cell phone, you’ll have to got to [Dealership]’s cell store.”

Customer: “But you’re with [Dealership].”

Me: “No, we’re not.”

*Repeat ad-nauseum until customer gives up and wanders back to their vehicle and drives off towards the actual cellular dealership.*

Thank God Period Pain Isn’t Contagious

, , , , , , | Working | July 24, 2020

Due to a certain illness outbreak, my work has created a secondary call-in phone line specifically for the illness, in addition to the regular associate call-in line. Thanks to worse-than-normal menstrual cramps, I call in one day through the regular line. I also specify that it’s nothing contagious, so I don’t have to worry about being cleared by HR to be allowed back into the building.

The next day I return with no problems from HR. Later that day, I’m confronted by a male coworker who likes to act like management, even though we’re at the same pay level, and he only has a month seniority on me.

Coworker: “Did you get cleared by HR to come back? I’m not getting sick just because you think you can cut corners.”

Me: “I wasn’t contagious, so I don’t need to be cleared for anything.”

Coworker: “Um, yes, you do! If I had to be cleared after my trip to Minnesota, so do you!”

Me: “You flew there, and when everything started up, we were told that everybody flying would have to be cleared by HR first. I didn’t have anything contagious, so I don’t have to be cleared.”

Coworker:No! If you’re sick, you have to be cleared! You think, just because you’re a girl, that you can do whatever you want?!”

Me: “Nope. I think that, because I was bleeding due to my uterine lining flaking off and being evicted, more painfully than normal, I didn’t feel like standing for a nine-hour shift on a forklift. Any other complaints?”

His mouth flapped like a fish’s a couple of times and then he stalked off. He later whined to our immediate union steward, who has no issue with telling dummies off. Our steward told him that, even with our natural issues, each of the four female floor workers do twice as much work as he does.

He later told me that if the coworker really wanted to whine about the girls getting “special privileges,” he should get hooked up to one of those wired machines that lets you feel what a period feels like.

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The Guy’s A Real Animal. Period.

, , , , , | Working | July 9, 2020

I have a really stupid coworker who is so slow doing the most basic jobs in the warehouse, like putting stickers on products, that he gets sent to my department to “help” me in the hope that my fast-speed and no-talk attitude at work will get him to do something in his workday.

I have him packing orders I’ve already picked and he keeps trying to talk to me. I am female; he is male. The tone in my voice by this point is very blunt and not happy, but for some reason, he keeps trying to be friends.

Coworker: “I love volunteering for [Non-Profit Animal Organisation].”

Me: “Cool.”

Coworker: “Yeah, but I just saw that there’s a rescuer up the road for a little owl.”

Me: “Okay.”

Coworker: “I was thinking I would go help but I don’t have a car today and caught the train in.”

I make a vague “hmm” noise.

Coworker: “Someone is already taking care of it but I was thinking I would go and take over. I could take it home on the train and drop it at the vet on my way home.”

Me: “That’s stupid. You’re at work now and that person probably has a car and won’t traumatise the poor thing on a packed train for forty minutes. Just. Do. Your. Job.”

Coworker: “Oh, yeah. Just a moral dilemma, you know?”

Me: “Nup.”

He stays quiet for about two whole minutes and then suddenly gives me this gem.

Coworker: “You know, I don’t get grossed out like other guys about girl stuff. Like, I don’t get grossed out about periods, so if you want to talk about your period with me, you can.”

I just walked upstairs to management and asked if he could go anywhere else. My manager responded with a smile, trying not to laugh at my expression, and said, “He’s annoying you that much, huh?”

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Unfiltered Story #197563

, , | Unfiltered | June 23, 2020

(I have just been given my first trainee earlier in the shift. He’s doing pretty well, but there is a *lot* of small details that become second nature after a while that are hard to keep track of. Since I’m not always easily available, I told him that he can ask anyone questions, which he has done already. One of my coworkers has just reminded me to tell him something else.)

Me: “Oh, and, just so you know, while it’s fine to ask anyone for help, don’t take unsolicited advice.” *He starts to look nervous.* “It’s fine, no one’s malicious about it, but we tend to be a rather sarcastic bunch. No one will answer a question wrong, but random advice is probably over half sarcastic. Just… Use your judgement. If it seems wrong or stupid or contradicts something I told you, come ask me. Most of it’s pretty obvious. It’s just that this *is* night shift in a secured building, and we tend to make our own fun.”

*He nods his understanding just as another coworker I’m quite friendly with comes by.*

Coworker: “Hello there! Got any spare cable ties here?”

*There is a bucket of cable ties in it’s usual position barely five steps from me, which he heads right towards.*

Me: *In a sugary sweet, obviously sarcastic tone of voice* “Sorry, just used the last one. I think you’re going to have to go down past [section on the other side of the warehouse] to find any more.”

Coworker: *laughs* “Good to know. I’ll head right there, then!” *He then grabs a handful of cable ties and goes back in the direction he came from.*

Me: *pauses for a moment, then turns to trainee* “Like that. Don’t listen to anything like that, okay?”

Hamming It Up For The Boss

, , , , | Working | April 28, 2020

(I’m the OP of this story. I’ve never worked for employers who could be both so generous and so greedy at the same time before that place.

On Good Friday one year — after I’d been hired full-time — the big boss announces that they’ve bought hams for Easter for all the employees, well over 100 people.

Toward the end of the day, my boss tells me to go see the warehouse manager and get my ham.

I head downstairs and find the warehouse manager beaming like Santa Claus.)

Warehouse Manager: “You here for the ham?”

Me: “Yes.”

Warehouse Manager: “Here you go.”

(I take my ham back upstairs. My boss sees me and does a double-take.) 

Boss: “Where’d you get that?”

Me: “From [Warehouse Manager].”

Boss: “[Warehouse Manager] gave that to you? What’d he say?”

Me: “He asked me if I was there for the ham. I said yes and he said, ‘Here ya go.’”

(The boss got a weird look on his face and left. I didn’t know what was going on. Less than ten minutes had passed since I’d talked to him last. I wondered if this was some elaborate prank that had gone wrong. 

Joke was on them, though. Turns out management had bought fancy-dancy honey-baked hams for the employees. But they had bought even fancier-dancier spiral-cut hams for themselves. They forgot to mention this to the warehouse manager. 

He gave me the last one.)

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