Needs A Change Of Parent

, , , , | Right | April 19, 2018

(I am what they call a “floater” — basically a substitute — at a local day-care. This means I might work with different age groups each shift I am called in to work. Today, I am working in the one-year-old room. We have a schedule for when we change the children’s diapers, but they are also periodically checked throughout the day. A coworker and I have our group playing outside in the fenced-in area. A mom comes up to the fence to pick up her baby after signing her child out of the office. I hand the child over the fence to the mother, then go in to get her child’s things. She takes her child and the things to the car just a few feet away, so I think nothing more of it. A minute later the mother comes back to me, holding her child out in front of her as if she is disgusted by her.)

Mother: “She needs to be changed.”

(I wordlessly stare at the mother for a few seconds before it registers to me that, yes, this is actually happening. Not wanting to cause a scene or fuss with the mother, I take the child back in, change her, bring her back out to the mother, and hand her back over the fence.)

Coworker: “Did she really just bring her child back to us just so we could change her?”

Me: “Yep.”

(Both of us stared at the mother as she drove away, wondering how in the world some people ever became parents.)

That’s How The Generational Cookie Crumbles

, , , , | Friendly | April 15, 2018

(My dad and his friend often meet up for a week-long convention near our town. They are in their 50s and 60s — as are 90% of the club members — and have been attending this particular convention for almost 30 years. It’s worth noting that most of these people have watched me grow up. This year, I visit the hotel, and inevitably, I sit through the, “How old are you, now? I remember when you were knee-high to a grasshopper! We’re getting older, huh?” conversation, yet again. But honestly, this one is my favorite:)

Dad’s Friend: *digging through his cooler* “Well, Miss [My Name], I guess we’re just getting old now. Here you are, all grown up and having a baby of your own. Years ago, your dad and I would be sitting down with a rum and coke at about this time. Now I’m sitting down with cookies and milk!”

Give No Credit To The Cashiers

, , , | Right | April 11, 2018

(It has always been company policy that without a receipt the store can only refund the customer with store credit. The management in our store is particularly unwavering about this, since we have had quite a few shoplifters try to return stolen high-price items for cash. Customers will occasionally get upset with this policy and cause a scene. I am passing by the register where a new hire is dealing with one such customer. It is only her second week, and she is clearly overwhelmed.)

Me: “What seems to be the problem?”

Coworker: “She’s trying to return this item without a receipt. I’ve told her that we can only give her store credit for it.”

Customer: *angrily* “So, what? You’re not going to give me my money back?”

Me: “Without a receipt, I’m afraid we can only give it back to you as store credit. It’s just corporate policy.”

Customer: “So, then, I can’t return this and get my money back? That’s ridiculous!”

Me: *seeing that this isn’t going anywhere* “Let me double-check with my manager.”

(I step into the [empty] office, wait five seconds, and then come back out.)

Me: “Unfortunately, they said the same thing: we can only accept the return for store credit or as part of an exchange.”

Customer: *calmly* “All right. I guess I’ll just take the store credit.”

(The rest of the transaction goes smoothly and the customer leaves.)

Me: *to my coworker* “They always assume the cashiers are lying to them.”

Unfiltered Story #108915

, | Unfiltered | April 11, 2018

(During thanksgiving break my cousin and I decide to visit her old bookstore. We hang out a while then left. We got bored later so we returned)

Cousin: let’s hide in front of the counter so (her old co-worker) thinks we left

As we both duck down

Elderly Customer: I would ground you two

Me: pardon?

Elderly customer: if my grandchildren run around and hide I ground them

She then walks off.needless to say we were confused.

Will Have To Get The Little Snappers A Different Pet

, , , , | Right | April 3, 2018

(A woman and two small children come up to the counter with a cardboard box.)

Woman: “Hello. My children found this turtle in a nearby pond and I want to know how to take care of it.”

Me: “I normally recommend leaving wild animals where they are.”

Woman: “They really want to keep him. Will you help us or not?”

Me: *groaning internally* “Okay, let me get a look at the little guy.”

Woman: *removes the lid* “What do you suggest?”

Me: “Yeah, you’re going to want to put him back.”

Woman: “What? My boys are attached to him and you want me to take him away from them?!”

Me: “That’s a snapping turtle. He’s going to move from feeder fish to fingers really fast.”

Woman: “Any recommendations on where to release him?”

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