Found The Sauce Of His Infidelity

, , , , , | Working | January 17, 2018

(A coworker has just finished making a bucket of pizza sauce. In our store we make sure all product has a sticker listing the expiration date and time. A manager comes to talk with the coworker.)

Manager: “Hey, did you date the sauce?”

(Before [Coworker] can speak, I interject.)

Me: “Nope, he took it to one dinner and figured out they weren’t compatible.”

(Everyone laughs.)

Manager: *to coworker* “I’m going to tell your wife you’re cheating on her with a redhead.”

Me: “A robust, saucy redhead!”

Your Complaint Is Toothless

, , , , | Right | January 11, 2018

Customer: “I need to speak with a manager.”

Me: “Hi, this is [My Name]. Can I help you?”

Customer: “I just came and got a pepperoni and cheese pizza, and I could not eat it; I could not chew it.”

Me: “Oh, I am sorry about that. Was it too hard or burnt?”

Customer: “No, ma’am, it was cooked fine, I just don’t have any teeth and could not chew it. What are you going to do about it to fix it?”

Me: “Umm…”

Not Everyone’s Cup Of C

, , , , , | Right | January 11, 2018

(I’m working at a very well known lingerie store when a man walks up to me.)

Customer: “Hello, I am looking for a bra for my wife, since it is our anniversary.”

Me: “I’d be happy to help! Do you know her bra size?”

Customer: “Um, no, I don’t.”

Me: “Well, do you at least know either the band size or the cup size?”

Customer: “Eh, no, I don’t.” *uses his hands to gesture grabbing his boobs* “I mean, they’re big, but not that big.”

Me: “That sounds like a C-cup. Right this way.”

An Interesting Case Of A Wandering Case

, , , , | Right | January 10, 2018

(A customer approaches me carrying an iPad in an expensive designer case, neither of which we sell.)

Me: “Hi, how can I help you today?”

Customer: “I found this in a basket. I really like the case, but do I have to buy the computer, too? I just want the case.”

Me: *fighting off a head-desk moment* “Well, we don’t sell iPads or accessories for them. I think that belongs to another customer.

Customer: “Oh, so, should I leave it with you?”

Me: “Yes.”

(Later, I found the owner’s business cards inside the case, called her, and she came back literally in tears, she was so happy. She wanted to thank the person who “turned it in” and tried to buy it.)

Carted Off To A New Home

, , , , | Hopeless | January 9, 2018

I went to get some supplies at a pet store while they were having a pet adoption event. When I went by the cat cages, the workers were talking about a cat named Morris who was missing. Apparently, he was good at getting the cages open.

I got my supplies and decided to look at the aquariums, and I noticed a huge, fluffy, grey cat sitting on a shelf with the aquarium decorations. A couple with a cart stopped in front of the cat but didn’t notice him, since they were looking at the other side of the aisle. The cat nonchalantly climbed down and sat in the kids’ seat of the cart like he knew exactly what he was doing, and waited for them to turn around. They were surprised when they turned around, but they started petting him, and when I left the store they were filling out the paperwork to adopt him.

Sometimes pets pick their people, instead of the other way around.

Page 1/1112345...Last
Next »