Sorry, But We Can’t Serve You ATM

, , , , | Right | June 30, 2020

I’m working car-side service at a fairly nice Italian restaurant.

Me: “Ciao, thank you for calling [Restaurant].”

Customer: “Do you take debit cards? Because I’ve been all over the place and nobody accepts debit cards.”

Me: “Really? Yeah, we accept debit cards. Most of our transactions are debit or credit.”

Customer: “Okay.”

The customer places an order. When she pulls up to the building, she hands me a card that looks a little off. I try to run it, but I get a weird error message. Finally, I notice “ATM CARD” written down the side of the card.

Me: “Oh, I see what the problem is. This isn’t a debit card; it’s an ATM card. You can only use this at an ATM.”

Customer: “No, you stupid b****, it’s a D-E-B-I-T card! When I was at the bank, they called it a debit card.”

Me: “I’m sorry, but it’s clearly labeled ATM.”

Customer: “You’re just a dumb b****; you don’t know what you’re talking about. You shouldn’t have told me that you accept debit cards if you don’t. This is a debit card! The bank said this is a debit card. You need to learn to do your job.”

Customer’s Friend: “Whatever, I’m too hungry for this. Here’s cash; just give us our food.”

They glared at me as I walked back outside with their food and nearly ran over my foot driving off.

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No Work And All Play Makes Jack A Broke Boy

, , , , , , | Working | June 30, 2020

My aunt recently moved into a new house and has to do some renovations, so she’s hired a worker from a local construction company to do so.

He set off a big red flag on his first day on the job; he was asked to clean out the gutters, and yet he didn’t bring a ladder. This meant he had to climb out of the window onto the roof to clean them, dealing some damage to the shingles in the process.

For some reason, my aunt still goes with this guy. Unsurprisingly, it only gets worse.

The next day, he comes in to install a curtain pole on one of her second-floor windows. When it comes out crooked, this happens.

Aunt: “Why is this thing crooked?”

Worker: “What do you mean? It’s up the right way.”

Aunt: *Sighs* “Okay, measure it again, then.”

The worker uses a TAPE MEASURE instead of a bubble level to see if the curtain pole is level on both ends, using the SOFT CARPET to base it on.

Worker: “Again, it looks level to me, ma’am.”

Aunt: *Pause* “Okay, repeat what you just said to me and think about it.”

Worker: *Pause* “I said it’s level?”

Aunt: *mental facepalm*

At this stage of the renovations, she now has several big, ugly holes in her wall due to the worker having to realign the curtain pole.

On another day on the job, the guy says he’ll install plumbing and connect them to some washing machines in an upstairs room, which my aunt bought specifically FOR the new house. She gets back from an errand, and no progress has been made on the room OR the washing machines. My aunt looks on her back porch and catches this guy talking on the phone to one of his friends about a potentially lucrative music commission he got assigned, as he is apparently a composer, as well. My aunt, who the guy still hasn’t noticed, loudly announces that she would like to see how it turns out. The guy doesn’t last too much longer after this.

When my aunt texts the guy to tell him that she is changing to a different company — no surprise there — he still has the gall to try to guilt-trip my aunt into paying through their last series of texts.

Worker: “I would like to remind you that you still have not paid for my services. Please do so as soon as possible, as I’m struggling and need to put food on the table for my family.”

Aunt: “Man, are you serious right now?! I told you in person why I’m not paying you, and apparently, I have to tell you again! When I asked you to clean the gutters out, you didn’t even bother to bring a ladder.

“When you installed my curtain pole, you didn’t even bother to use the proper equipment to see if it was level, instead half-a**ing it using a tape measure and the carpet, and left a bunch of holes in the wall you didn’t even bother, nor offer to fix!

“When you were told to install plumbing upstairs, you not only did nothing during the time I was gone, which should have been more than enough for you to get started at least; no, you spent that time talking on the phone about another job!

“That’s an entire month down the drain with almost no progress on my house! You want your money? Go find a client for a commission; of course, with an experience like this, it sure as h*** won’t be me! Do you want to know why you’re not getting a d*** cent out of me for this job? There’s your reason! There are your reasons, plural!

“And I’m sure as h*** not going to regret this. I am more than perfectly capable of doing most of these tasks; I’ve moved into multiple houses and performed repairs on all or most of them. I hired you because I wanted to, not because I needed to. Goodbye, and do not contact me again.”

A few days later, she got a call from the construction company itself, saying she had been “constantly rude and abusive” to one of their employees, and they were also inquiring about the payment. She cleared the situation up and they said they’d look into it. They also said they were now VERY interested in talking to [Worker]. Apparently, he had been getting similar complaints from lots of his clients.

A few weeks later, when she checked the website of the construction company, [Worker]’s contact information was no longer there. Thankfully, the company she switched to actually did the work they were assigned, and her new house looks amazing!

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An Alarming Lack Of Concern

, , , , , | Right | June 30, 2020

One of my regular customers has a son with autism. Her son is fascinated with the date of Halloween, and he likes me because my birthday is on Halloween.

One day, he comes in with his mom, and right after he gives me his usual hug, the fire alarm goes off for testing. The boy covers his ears and screams, running behind my register to hide. He’s not in my way, but he is making a lot of noise to drown out the alarm.

Boy’s Mom:Oh! I am so sorry, [My Name]. He doesn’t like sudden and loud noises.”

Me: “It’s fine. The alarm won’t last long. He’s fine back here.”

A customer approaches and decides they need to involve themselves in the situation.

Customer: “You should be ashamed! All he needs is a good whipping.”

Boy’s Mom: “He has autism. Loud noises upset him.”

Customer: “Nonsense! Let me spank him! I’m in a hurry and he’s upsetting me. That’ll teach him.”

I stop scanning the mom’s items and move to block the entrance to get behind the register.

Me: “If you’re in such a hurry, we have self-checkouts. He’s fine where he is.”

The customer grumbles but goes away. A manager for the store has seen the incident.

Manager: “If she complains, I’ll let them know what happened.”

Finally, the alarm tests ended and the boy’s mom told me how to signal to him. I checked them out and he gave me a hug like nothing had happened and left. Turns out the lady did try to report me, but she blew the whole incident out of proportion and the manager just smiled and nodded. She was quite shocked to see I wasn’t fired.

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Patience: The Capacity To Accept Or Tolerate Delay

, , , , | Working | June 26, 2020

I call tech support because I have no Internet. After we finish basic troubleshooting, this conversation happens.

Tech Support: “It looks like we are going to have to send a tech out for this issue. This will incur a charge of $70 which will be reflected on your next bill. I’m going to send you a text with a link to approve this charge.”

Me: “All right, I got the text.”

Tech Support: “Excellent. Please approve the charge and I’ll set up an appointment.”

Me: “Okay. It’s going to take a minute.”

Tech Support: “That’s fine. Please approve the charge.”

Me: “Working on it; it’s just that all I have is mobile data and the site is taking time to load.”

Tech Support: “Okay, I understand. I just can’t make the appointment until you approve the charge.”

Me: “I don’t have Internet. My phone is being slow. I am approving the charge right now; it’s just going to take a minute.”

Tech Support: “I understand. We can find another way to approve it.”

The website loads and I am able to hit the “approve” button.

Tech Support: “Oh, I see it’s been approved. Let’s get your appointment set up.”

Apparently, the word “patience” was not in the man’s vocabulary.

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When A Simple Salad Isn’t, Part 2

, , , , , , , | Right | June 26, 2020

We tend to get a lot of delivery orders to the local hospital around the corner. It’s usually not a problem, but we have been having some issues with entitled and dishonest nurses.

Today, I get a call for four orders for four different nurses, with four salads: a Mediterranean, two Greeks, and a side garden salad. I make the salads, label the boxes, and bag them.

About an hour and a half later, I get another call. This time it’s a different nurse than the one that placed the order.

Nurse #2: “Yeah, we’re missing a salad.”

Me: “I’m sorry about that. There were four salads for four orders, correct?”

Nurse #2: “Yeah. But [Nurse #3] was supposed to have a Greek salad, but I’m standing here looking at a garden. I’ve got her ticket right here.”

Me: “Okay, let me go back over the orders and make sure—”

Nurse #2: *Interrupting me* “I don’t know what everyone else got, just that [Nurse #3] didn’t get the right one! She’s pissed off that she paid $11 for a salad and [entrée] and you guys messed it up! And your delivery driver! He forgot the salads the first time when he brought the hot food and had to go back. So this is now the second time! We just want a credit or something because this is getting ridiculous.”

Me: “I’m sorry to hear about the delivery issue, and I’ll have a word with the boss about it. I can give you the credit. May I have a phone number so that the next time [Nurse #3] calls, she can use it?”

Nurse #2: *Snapping* “I don’t know her number! Here, let me transfer you to her.”

The phone slams and hold music plays. By this point, I’ve had two tables sat in my section, so I manage to step aside to let them know I’ll be right over. After a few minutes, someone takes the phone off of hold.

Nurse #4: “[Hospital], how can I help you?”

I internally sigh.

Me: “Hey, I’m from [Restaurant] and I’m trying to issue a credit to [Nurse #3].”

Nurse #4: “Okay, what do you need?”

Me: “I just need a phone number for [Nurse #3].”

Nurse #4: “Oh! The department number is [unfamiliar number]. Will that work?”

I know that the nurses switch around a lot.

Me: “Is that [Nurse #3]’s usual department?”

Nurse #4: “Oh, no. She’s just filling in. Let me transfer you to her.”

I’m about to start banging my head on the desk when [Nurse #3] finally picks up.

Me: “Hey, I’m calling from [Restaurant] and there was an issue with your salad? I’ve been asked to give you a credit, but I need your number so that someone else doesn’t claim your credit.”

Nurse #3: *Flatly* “It’s [cell number].”

Me: “Okay, great! I’ve issued a credit for you, so when you’d like to use it, give us this number and it should pop right up. Is there anything else needed today?”

Nurse #3: *Snarkily* “So when’s the money going to go back on my card?”

I stop.

Me: “That would be a refund. I was told that you were looking for a credit for the salad.”

Nurse #3: “Yeah, so?”

Me: “I can issue one or the other, but not both. Which one would you rather have?”

Nurse #3: *Deep sigh* “I guess the refund, then!”

I delete the credit and void her payment. I then explain the basic spiel about how the refund may show up on her bank account and that the charge should just drop off.

Nurse #3: “Well, is that it?”

Me: “Actually, out of curiosity, did the order with [entrée and a side salad] get everything correctly?”

Nurse #3: “Yeah, she got a free upgrade to a Greek salad! She said it was delicious!”

We hang up and I go let my boss know about what had happened. He listens for a while.

Boss: “From now on, bag each salad separately, with each hospital person’s name on it. Also, go put a note on the department’s account that a refund was received on this date, for [refund amount], and to whom. Sounds to me like they may try to get a credit for the salad or the whole order.

Sure enough, a couple of days later, they tried to convince the cashier that they were due a credit for all four orders, as “none of them” received the correct salads!

When A Simple Salad Isn’t

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