Sand(wich) Of Time

, , , , , , | Right | August 15, 2018

(I work at a local sandwich-and-coffee eatery in a college town. A lot of students stop by for lunch, but since they all get out of class at the same time, the lunch rush is crazy. One of our sandwiches is extremely popular, but it takes a little longer because it goes in a panini press and we only have space for three sandwiches. An average wait time for this sandwich during the lunch rush is twenty-five minutes. When a lot of these get ordered in quick succession, something like this happens at least once a day. It is noon:)

Me: “Here’s your receipt. We’ll have your food out to you as soon as we can, but this sandwich usually takes a little longer.”

Customer: “Okay.”

(At 12:15:)

Customer: *to a very busy me* “Um, excuse me, I’ve been waiting like twenty-five minutes for my [sandwich]. Can you go check on it?”

Me: “Your sandwich usually takes a little longer because it’s a panini, but I’ll go check.” *goes to the sandwich line* “Do you guys have a [sandwich] in the panini press?”

Coworker: “We’ve got like ten [sandwiches]. Do you know which one it is?”

Me: “Yeah, her receipt number is [number].”

Coworker: “It’s waiting to go in the press.”

Me: *goes back to the front* “They’re working on it.”

Customer: “Yeah, okay.”

(At 12:20:)

Customer: *to someone else* “Um, I’ve been waiting like 45 minutes for my [sandwich]. Can you go check on it?”

Coworker: “It’s probably in the panini press, but I’ll go see.”

(My coworker goes away and comes back.)

Coworker: “Yeah, it’s in the panini press.”

Customer: “Well, okay.”

(At 12:25:)

Customer: *to yet someone else* “Um, I’ve been waiting like an hour for my [sandwich]. Can you go check on it?”

Me: “You know your receipt is time-stamped, right?”

A Sail Fail Tale

, , , , , , | Right | August 14, 2018

(It’s springtime and the weather has finally gotten warm out, so naturally, as a home improvement store with a garden center, we are busy for the day. It’s the week before Memorial Day, so we have deals going on. Our particular company has special deals for contractors and professionals, so they get coupons. I’m working at the contractor’s end of the store as their cashier. [Customer #1] places his items on the counter.)

Me: “How are you today, sir?”

Customer #1: “I’m okay, thanks.”

Me: “Did you find everything okay?”

Customer #1: “Yeah, yeah, I found everything fine.”

([Customer #1] then punches in his phone number at the pin-pad so that the transaction is recorded on his professional account.)

Me: “All right, your total is…”

Customer #1: “Hold on! I have coupons.”

(The customer proceeds to pull out his phone and show me an email advertisement for deals we have in the store.)

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, but those aren’t coupons. Those are just advertisements telling you what is on sale currently.”

Customer #1: “No, these are coupons! I shop here all the time; I usually get a discount. Hold on. Let me find them.”

(He proceeds to show me ANOTHER email advertisement that he received.)

Me: “Sir, those are the same thing. They aren’t coupons; I can’t accept them.”

([Customer #1] then proceeds to shoot me a nasty glare. My line has started a queue with two more customers behind him.)

Customer #1: “Well, I guess that means you’re going to hold your line up until I find a coupon!”

Me: “Would you like me to suspend—”

Customer #1: “Nope! They can wait until you give me some kind of discount!”

(Both customers are looking at him rather disgustedly, like they can’t believe what they’re hearing. [Customer #1] then proceeds to point at the piece of MOULDING I have in my hand that he’s purchasing.)

Customer #1: “See? Thirty percent off of paint accessories! That’s a paint accessory!”

(The moulding is $9. I’m fed up with this customer, as are my other customers in line.)

Me: *takes 30% off of the item* “All right, sir, there you go! Your total is $89.36.”

([Customer #1] pays, giving me a triumphant look before leaving. [Customer #2] approaches.)

Customer #2: “I’m glad you dealt with that, because if you didn’t I was going to say something.”

Customer #3: “That guy was an a**hole. I got the same exact email ad, and I’m not running around purposely holding up lines and blaming the cashier!”

Me: “Thank you both for being patient with that situation!”

(Both customers paid and left, complimenting me on a job well done as they went by. The fact he threw a fit over non-existent coupons just to get $3 off was the real kicker!)

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Not All Compliments Are Just Fluff

, , , , | Right | August 10, 2018

(I’m a young woman with short hair that I wear spiked up. Today I’ve been helping a woman who is a beginner sewist with various questions. I’ve been showing her where the fabric she wants is in the store, helping her choose between sewing patterns, telling her young daughter where the bathrooms are, helping her figure out how much fabric she needs, and finally cutting her fabric.)

Me: “Will that be all for today, ma’am?”

Customer: “Yes, and now I know who to look for when I come in next: the lady with the fluffy chicken hair!”

(Best compliment I’ve ever gotten on the job.)

Derpy With The Herpy

, , , , , | Healthy | August 9, 2018

(I’m visiting a zoology lab that researches amphibians, which is a facility I’ve never been in before. While I’m sitting in an office chatting with a PhD student and waiting for a meeting, I notice a post-it that says “Clinic” and has a phone number.)

Me: “Hey, that’s not the extension for student health.”

PhD Student: “Oh, no, that’s a [City] free clinic. They do STI testing.”

Me: “Uh… Okay.”

PhD Student: “Yeah, it gets more use than you’d think around here.”

(My understanding of what the amphibian lab gets up to slowly starts to dissolve, when the PhD student speaks up again.)

PhD Student: “Yeah… People just Google ‘herpetology’ without knowing what it means, apparently.”

Loonie Over A Toonie, Part 5

, , , , , | Right | August 9, 2018

(I work in a retail store that offers customers a store credit card. One detail that a lot of people like about the card is that they can bring their bill in and pay it in the store. We’re close to Canada, but still a solid couple of hours away.)

Woman: “I want to pay my bill.”

(Everything proceeds normally until she pulls out her cash. She has American bills, but she has several Canadian coins. It’s quite common to get Canadian coins here, but the managers have asked us to stop accepting them because, you know, it’s foreign currency.)

Me: “Ma’am, do you happen to have American coins?”

Woman: “No.”

Me: “These are Canadian coins. We’re trying to not—”

Woman: “I got them from the shops around here. What’s the problem?”

Me: “This isn’t Canada.”

Woman: “But I got them from the stores here. What does it matter?”

Me: “This isn’t American currency.”

(This woman looked like she was about to have a hissy fit, so I decided to let it slide, seeing how the coins aren’t counted in the register and it wasn’t that large an amount. It just baffled me that this woman didn’t think that there was a difference between American and Canadian coins. You wouldn’t pay with Canadian bills, so why would you pay with their coins?)

Loonie Over A Toonie, Part 4
Loonie Over A Toonie, Part 3
Loonie Over A Toonie, Part 2

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