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You Have To Have A Certain Brand Of Phone; It’s Called “Smartphone”

, , , , , , | Right | December 7, 2022

I’m buying my regular morning coffee at my favorite local shop. I pour my coffee and wait in line to pay. I hear them tell the customers in front of me that the card reader is down and that they can only take cash at the moment. Fine with me.

I step up to the counter with my drink and exact change, and the woman who has been in line just ahead of me steps aside but continues talking to the cashier and the manager who’s trying to troubleshoot the card reader.

Manager: “Yeah, I have no idea how to fix it. We’ll have to call tech support.”

Patron: “My dad runs a business, so I’m very familiar with these things. He can read cards from his phone. You should do that, too.”

Manager: “I don’t think that’ll work for us right now, but that’s good to know in case this happens again. We have [Common Small-Business Point-Of-Sale System]; is that what he uses?”

Patron: “Oh, I can call him. He can walk you through setting it up on your phone.”

Manager: “Thanks for offering, but we’d need the boss’s okay to do that. And we might not use the same system. What does he have?”

Patron: “Umm, I think it’s called Point Of Sale? It’s really easy to use. I can show you how it works.”

Manager: “Thanks, but I’m going to go call tech support now.”

I wished the cashier good luck and left at that point, but I wish I’d had time to stick around and see if this very knowledgeable businesswoman was going to call her dad and learn that “Point Of Sale” is not actually the point of sale system that he uses.

The Only Thing Worth Nursing Is The Headache She Is About To Cause

, , , , , | Right | December 2, 2022

I’m working in the lobby when I see a woman in her seventies, [Customer #1], stumble and fall forward to her knee. She lets out a quick “Ouch!” and then starts to get up. Suddenly, another woman who looks to be about in her mid-thirties, [Customer #2], sees her and rushes over in a panic.

Customer #1: *Cheerful but embarrassed* “Whoopsie. Tripped over my own feet!”

Customer #2: *Reaching her* “Ma’am! Please do not move!”

Customer #1: *Confused* “Eh?”

[Customer #2] stands up and puts her arms out, as though to clear space, even though there are only about eight other people in the lobby.

Customer #2: *Shouting* “Everyone stay back! This is an emergency situation, and I am a newly graduated registered nurse! Also known as an RN! I work at [Nearby Hospital], and I have authority in this situation!”

[Customer #1] looks extremely confused.

Customer #2: *Leaning down toward [Customer #1]* “Ma’am, you may have gone through physical trauma. I cannot advise you to move. Would you like me to check you or alert an ambulance?”

Customer #1: “I just tripped. It’s no biggie. My knee is a little sore, but then again, it’s always a little sore.”

Customer #2: “Ma’am… are you aware of your legal rights within this situation? As in legal, monetary reparations?”

Customer #1: “What now?”

Customer #2: “Are you sure you didn’t hurt your knee falling? This establishment could owe you monetary compensation if you were to choose to seek it out.”

Customer #1: “Are you saying I should sue them? For what? I tripped over my own feet.”

Customer #2: “Perhaps you hurt your neck during your fall? It’s quite easy to hurt your neck at your age.”

Customer #1: “Um… what are you on about? I thought you were a nurse… but now you’re lawyering me up?”

Customer #2: “I’m just suggesting that I could check you out, and if you’re in pain, maybe I could introduce you to my brother… he’s an attorney.”

Customer #1: *Stands up* “Umm… no, thanks.”

[Customer #1] walks away.

Customer #2: *Shouting to the lobby* “I am a newly graduated registered nurse. If anyone here has hurt themselves at this establishment, please let me know. My offer extends to you all. If you hurt yourself and feel you are entitled to monetary compensation, I can check you out… and maybe introduce you to my brother… He’s a really good attorney!”

The entire lobby and staff stare at the woman, not saying anything.

Customer #2: “Suit yourselves. I could have helped you all!”

She left the lobby. I was dumbfounded.

Wish We Had Customer-Noise-Cancelling

, , , , | Right | November 15, 2022

A customer has recently purchased an SUV and has brought it back to have an accessory they ordered installed. The request is for a fairly simple badging upgrade; however, customers will sometimes take this time to ask service or their salesperson about a feature or to report a problem.

As I’m finishing applying the badging and making sure it’s installed correctly, the advisor handling his work order comes to me with a question she’s unable to answer.

Advisor: “The customer is telling me that the two rear speakers aren’t working properly.”

This is odd, but occasionally, vehicles do ship with a feature not working, though it’s usually caught before customer delivery.

I start looking into the concern by shifting the radio playback balance to the rear of the vehicle and note that, while there is still music playing, there are two speaker grids that don’t appear to have any sound coming from them. I note this and check the vehicle’s equipment sheet to determine what sound system it has. As it turns out, it only has a basic sound system, one speaker in each door, and one in the dashboard at the front.

The two grids in the rear are actually for a new feature for this model: Active Noise Cancellation. It basically makes a sound that can’t be heard by normal human hearing to muffle the sounds of the road and wind, making the cabin quieter and more comfortable.

With this knowledge, I inform the advisor:

Me: “This vehicle only has a basic five-speaker sound system that is functioning normally, and the speakers in the trunk are not used for radio playback.”

I leave to park the vehicle in the pickup area, and the advisor asks me if I can explain the sound system’s function to the customer. I hand off the paperwork and the keys to the advisor, who leads me to the customer.

Customer: “When my kids are sitting in the third row, they’re saying they can’t hear the radio out of the speakers back there.”

Me: “I understand that. I looked into the exact sound system your truck has and found out that the only speakers used for radio playback are in the doors and dashboard; you have the basic five-speaker system.”

Customer: “Yeah, but they can’t hear anything back there. Is there something we can do to fix that?”

Me: “Unfortunately, no. The ‘speakers’ in the trunk area aren’t used for the purpose of playing music; they’re exclusively for Active Noise Cancellation.”

I explain how that all works and am satisfied that I cannot possibly break it down any further.

Customer: “Well, they can’t hear anything back there! Isn’t there a way you can change the radio to make them work?”

Me: “Sir, the speakers aren’t broken; they just don’t work the way you think they do.”

Customer: “But you can change them so that they can make noise, right?”

Me: “Sir, that would defeat the point of the system.”

Customer: “But I don’t want that feature!”

It’s not optional and can’t be removed.

Customer: “I want the radio to work in the back of the car!”

Me: “Unfortunately, sir, I can’t change how your sound system works, it wasn’t designed for what you want, and I need to return to my work. The best thing I can suggest is shifting the balance to the rear and turning the volume up slightly.”

The customer still could not understand why a speaker that was not connected to the radio couldn’t play music. After what felt like thirty minutes of trying to explain the same things and just moving in a circle, I turned back to the advisor and told her there was nothing more I could do here and I needed to do more important work. As far as I know, he never did get those speakers “working”.

Just Smile And Back Away Slowly

, , , | Right | November 14, 2022

I work as the online shopper for a major retail chain. We offer curbside pick-up. I bring out a woman’s order for her.

Me: “Hello, [Customer], I have your order ready right here! Wou—”

Customer: “Today is the anniversary of when my father died at the hands of his mistress.”

I am dumbfounded, my brain short circuits, and I have to let the ghost of customer service take control.

Me: “Would you like it in the trunk or the backseat?”

Customer: “Oh! The backseat. She put his body in the trunk.”

Timing, Like Their Dogs’ Health, Is Not A Priority For Them

, , , , , | Right | November 12, 2022

I’m the manager of a pet grooming salon for a corporate chain. Our setup is annoying only because the outside wall (facing the parking lot) is all glass, as is the inside wall (facing the inside of the store). We also have both an internal and external door.

I have a pet parent with two dogs who’s a no-show. After ten minutes or so, we call to see if they are on the way. As it’s a packed day, we warn them that we might have to reschedule them.

We try to be understanding that we have three stores within fifteen minutes of each other and sometimes people go to the wrong store.

Me: “Hello, this is [My Name] from [Pet Chain]. I had Fluffy and Fido for a 10:00 am appointment. I was just wondering if you were still on the way and running late or needed to reschedule?”

Pet Parent: “Oh! I’m on the way! We went to [Location ten minutes from us]; that’s normally where we go, but they were booked out six weeks, so we forgot we booked with you!”

Me: “I understand; it happens. You should be only ten minutes away, so as long as you can get here by 10:30, I can still get your pups handled. It might take me a little longer, as they’re going to bump into my next appointment due to being late.”

Pet Parent: “That’s fine. We’ll be there in five to ten minutes at most. Thanks.” *Click*

I go about preparing for them to try to make sure I can keep my day on track. At 10:30, they still haven’t arrived. I call and get no reply.

At 10:35, the phone rings and it’s the pet parent.

Pet Parent: “Hi! We are almost there! You can still do my dogs, right? I’m not sure how you expected me to be there by 10:30 when I was coming from [Location thirty minutes away]! I’ll be there in two to three more minutes!”

Me: “I’m so sorry, but I was very clear about you needing to be here by 10:30. It’s now 10:35 and you’re not here. You said you were coming from [Closer Location]; otherwise, I would have warned you that you wouldn’t be here in time. I can do one dog still, but I can’t do both. I suggest that you reschedule a day that works better for you, or you can have me just do one today and the second tomorrow at [time].”

Pet Parent: “This is stupid! I went to the wrong store! There is no f****** way I could make it there! This is horrible! My dogs need this! They’re so bad they look homeless!”

She did not disclose that they were matted when asked when booking.

Pet Parent: “I’ll be right in!”

Me: “Ma’am, if they are matted, I will absolutely need to reschedule you. As advised when you booked, we need extra time so we can take the care and time needed for the safety of your dog.”

Pet Parent: “This f****** b**—” *Click*

I think this is the end of it, but no. At 10:45, she comes in with severely matted dogs. I feel insanely bad for them, and I would take care of them if it wouldn’t cause issues for me and my other clients who didn’t lie to me and showed up on time.

Pet Parent: “I spoke with someone on the phone. They know I went to the wrong store and said they could still—”

I cut her off. I’m not trying to be rude, but I see where she’s going already.

Me: “That was me; I’m the only one working today. And yes, I spoke with you and advised you that I could only do your dogs if they got here by 10:30, and when you called back, I advised you that I could no longer do them. I can reschedule them, but I am due for another client in fifteen minutes, and it would be unfair to them to take your dogs in now. Plus, you did not tell us when asked originally that the dogs are this matted; we have to reschedule them so we can take the time and care needed for their safety and health.”

This leads to her blowing up and stomping out after a short back and forth about going to the wrong store (not my fault) and about how there was no way to get to our store in time from that other store (still not my fault).

She calls back right at 11:00. She’s in the parking lot staring at me and clearly sees that no one else has come in yet.

Pet Parent: “Did they show up?”

I slowly turn to look at her in the parking lot. I lie.

Me: “Yes.”

She hung up without saying anything else. She then sat in the parking lot for the next hour, staring into the salon, at some point pulling out some fast-food French fries and feeding them to the dogs as she waited. She waited until she saw both my 11:00 (who came in at like 11:02) and 12:00 appointments show up before she tore out of the parking lot.

I felt horrible for her dogs, but giving in would have only led to her pulling that stunt again. For the sake of my staff, I had to stay firm on what I said so next time she hopefully respects her groomer better.