The Future Economy

, , , , , | | Friendly | July 16, 2019

(I often overhear a lot of funny things from kids while I’m at work, but this one takes the cake.)

Child #1: “I have more money than anyone else in the world!”

Child #2: “Yeah, he has twenty-three dollars!”

(I stifled my laughter and sadness as I realized that I had less money than that child. Kids are sometimes pretty great.)

If You Have To Tell People You’re Nice, You’re Probably Not

, , , , | | Right | July 16, 2019

(I am placing my order at a Chinese takeout place when a woman comes in and goes right to the side of me and tries to order herself. The man taking my order holds up a finger to tell her “one moment.” The woman turns to the people cooking in the back.)

Customer: “Hello?! Can’t any of you take my order?! I guess you’re all just too busy.”

(She moves into line behind me and taps her foot impatiently. When I’m done, I move to a nearby table to wait while she goes up to order.)

Customer: “I’ll have a wonton soup.”

Cashier: “Okay, ma’am. Which size?”

Customer: “Extra wonton.”

Cashier: “Yes, ma’am. Which size—“

Customer: “WONTON SOUP?! Can you not understand?!”

Cashier: “I’m sorry, ma’am, I understand. I just need to know which size you need.”


(The cashier places her order and she steps off to wait, turning to me.)

Customer: “Can you believe some people?!”

Me: “I really can’t sometimes.”

Customer: “They could at least learn to speak—“

(I’m a very reserved person, but right about here I just go off on her.)

Me: “I’m talking about you!”

Customer: *clearly taken aback* “Me?! What did I do?”

Me: “For starters, as soon as you came in here you tried to cut in front of me while I was in the middle of ordering. You then proceeded to be incredibly rude to the people running this place.”

Customer: “Well, I’m in a hurry! I’m double-parked outside!”

(I look outside and, sure enough, there is a car parked in the middle of the small street with its emergency lights on while cars coming from both directions are struggling to get past it.)

Me: “And you’re blocking traffic.”

Customer: “Well, I’m a very nice person! I really am.” *pauses for a few seconds* “Would it help if I said I’m sorry for trying to cut in front of you?”

Me: *very surprised* “It’s fine. Just try and be a better person and be more aware of others in the future.”

(Her food is suddenly up. She grabs it and bolts for the door but turns and stops right before she gets outside.)

Customer: “Really, I am a very good person.”

Me: “Well, if you would like to show it, they do have a tip jar here.”

Customer: *suddenly turning rotten again* “I would never tip these people. If they are so great, why don’t you tip them?!”

(My food was now up, as well. I made a big show for her of putting a few dollars in the tip jar. She just scowled before running to her car.)

Don’t Baby Talk Me

, , , , | | Healthy | July 16, 2019

(I gave birth to twins several months ago and have since gone back to work. I am struggling a lot with anxiety, inability to focus, and lack of sleep, just having a really hard time in general. I’m not sure who to go to for help as I don’t seem to quite meet the criteria for postpartum depression or anxiety, so I make an appointment with my primary care doctor to see if she can help me figure out who to talk to.)

Me: “I’m just having a really hard time at work and at home, feeling like I’m falling behind at everything. I can’t focus on what I’m doing, and I’m anxious all the time. I just didn’t know who to talk to so I thought I might start with you. I’m really struggling right now.”

Doctor: “I’ll run some blood tests but… I mean, you did just have two babies.” *laughs* “So, I’m not really sure what you expected life to be like right now… Maybe consider finding a new job?”

(I never did get any help from her whatsoever. I am happy to say that my twins are a year old now and that difficult period has since passed.)

Devil’s Jew

, , , , , | | Right | July 15, 2019

(I am ringing customers. A woman gets in the small line that is forming, followed by a gentleman who is spouting about seeing Jesus and being pure of heart and spirituality. He was in earlier in the day so I know who he is.)

Man: *mumbles about seeing Jesus*

Woman: “I don’t want to hear it.”

(They continue like this until the woman comes up to me to be rung up. The gentleman continues while the woman silently pleads for help. I decide to step in.)

Me: “Sir, I am sorry, but we are in the middle of a transaction here.”

Man: *mumbles about being rude*

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, but we are still in the middle of a transaction.”

Man: “I was talking to her.”

(The woman mouths, “Thank you,” to me, I nod, and we finish the transaction. The gentleman is next in line.)

Me: “I’m sorry about before, sir, it’s just that we were in the middle of a transaction.”

Man: “Oh, you must be a devil worshiper, then.”

(I am shocked, since I did NOT expect to be accused of being a devil worshiper. I barely know what to say. I see he has a skull cap on and decide to go the Jewish route, since I am Jewish, as well.)

Me: “Sir, I’m not a devil worshiper; I’m Jewish.”

Man: “You are?”

Me: “Yes, I am.”

Man: “Oh, well, that doesn’t make a difference; you could still be a devil worshiper.”

(After going back and forth on this subject for another minute, I gave up and just “yes”ed him to death while finishing the transaction.)

Getting Twilights In Your Hair

, , , , | | Right | July 13, 2019

(I am a female with very short hair. I get many remarks on it, but this one takes the cake for me. It is around the Twilight movies boom.)

Customer: *placing her items on the counter, glances at my hair and dramatically rolls her eyes at me* “Wow.”

Me: *used to having people tell me short hair on women isn’t flattering, nonetheless smiles* “Is there something wrong, ma’am?”

Customer: “Your hair.”

Me: “Yes, it is short, but I like it better this wa—“

Customer: “I’m so d*** sick of all you little teenagers and your d*** Twilight movies! You stupid b****es are all f****** crazy, and it’s all anyone sees on TV; it’s all, ‘Edward this,’ and, ‘Edward that,’ and now you went so far as to take that f****** sparkly vampire’s hairstyle! What the f*** is wrong with you?!”

Me: *takes a breath before replying* “Ma’am, I am sorry, but I am in my twenties, not a ‘crazy teenage girl,’ and I have no interest in Twilight. I cut my hair to donate it for children with cancer; my fiancé is a cancer survivor, and it’s the least I can do for them. Now, will you be paying with cash or credit today?”

Customer: *mumbles something before handing over her cash, then bolting out the door with her head down*

(I never saw her again.)

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