Unfiltered Story #172094

, , | Unfiltered | October 20, 2019

(I’m a host at a popular chain restaurant. Even though it’s cooler outside, I’m often hot at work since I walk back and forth seating people all day long. This exchange occurs as I fan myself with a folded piece of paper. I am female and the customer is an older man)

Customer: Having a hot flash?

Me: I hope not! I’m not that old!

Customer: Well how old do you have to be to have a hot flash?

Me: Generally women go through menopause in their 50s. Do I look 50?

Customer: No, but how am I supposed to know that women have hot flashes when they’re 50? I’m a man!

Me: Okay sir.

(Later on I see him exiting with his wife, who is at least as old as he is, and looks like she has probably gone through menopause. I still wonder how he wouldn’t know about something his own wife had experienced!)

Unfiltered Story #172082

, , , | Unfiltered | October 19, 2019

I go to the same Starbucks coffee every morning. It’s down the street from my apartment and it’s convenient to stop in on my way to work. I’m such a regular, they know my name (and it’s spelling and pronunciation!) and my order and I know all their names and details of their lives. This happens one morning when I see my favorite barista behind the register.

Customer 1: I’ll have a latte please.

Barista: Coming right up. That’s (price.)

Customer 1: Here you go.

After this the barista takes her money, gives her change and closes the register drawer.

Customer 1: Oh can you break this $5 so I can give you a tip?

Barista: No unfortunately not. Once the drawer is closed I can only re-open it for a payment.

Customer, suddenly becoming nasty: Well fine. Then I can’t give you a tip!

She walks off in a huff, still clasping the $5.

Me: Hi (Barista’s name)! My usual please! Oh and here’s $5 for a tip. No need to break it.

Barista, with a shocked face: Thank you! That’s so generous!

She’s given me discounts on orders before or free drinks for the smallest mistakes so she and the staff 100% deserved it.

If You Can Make It There…

, , , , | Right | October 14, 2019

(I am working at a gas station, back when “pump jockeys” pump your gas for you. Our station is on the New York State Thruway, a divided highway toll road. We are located a few miles from a major city, but hundreds of miles from New York City. In addition, we are on the westbound side traveling away from New York City. One holiday weekend…)

Customer: “How far is it to New York City?”

Me: “In the direction you are going, about 25,000 miles. You’re going the wrong way.”

Customer: *blinks*

Me: “Where did you get on the highway?”

Customer: “Albany.”

(This means she drove about three hours in the opposite direction from New York City. And that she passed the exits for several cities along the way, but didn’t seem to realize that she was heading in the wrong direction all this time.)

Me: “You’ll have to go to the next exit, get off, and get back on in the other direction.”

(The identical situation happened again with another driver the next day! Basic geography, people!)

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It’s A Pee-Shirt

, , , , , , , | Right | October 14, 2019

An acquaintance sells T-shirts and other items printed with designs she creates. She usually sets up a table and has some of the shirts pinned so that they are hanging over the side of the table to ensure the designs are clearly and completely visible. 

Apparently, several other dog owners have been just as inattentive as the woman in this tale but the others have all at least taken monetary responsibility. Seriously, people, no matter how much you love them, your dog is a creature for whose actions you are responsible!

One day, my acquaintance was selling her wares near a farmers’ market and a woman with two dogs came near the table where she was displaying her art and T-shirts. One dog proceeded to pee on two of the T-shirts that were hanging from the table.

The owner did nothing.

The seller tried to call the dog owner out for this and get her to buy the soiled merchandise — they aren’t even that expensive. The woman’s response? “Well, you are on the street.”

And then, she walked away with her dogs and accused the seller of harassment when she followed to demand an explanation.

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A Healthy Marriage

, , , , , , | Romantic | October 10, 2019

([Doctor #1] and [Doctor #2] are married. [Doctor #1] is a neurosurgeon and [Doctor #2] works in the NICU. They’ve made a cake for a coworker’s birthday.)

Doctor #2: “Can we write anything better than just, ‘Happy Birthday, [Coworker]!’ on the cake?”

Doctor #1: You have doctor handwriting and can’t write anything on the cake.”

Doctor #2: “You’re also a doctor!”

Doctor #1: *jokingly* “Excuse me. Neurosurgery is the calligraphy of medicine. These hands are the surgeon’s hands! Artist’s hands!”

Doctor #2: *laughing* “Okay, Dr. Artist, go ahead.”

([Doctor #1] grabs the frosting and accidentally leans on the tray the cake is sitting on. The tray scoots backward and he grabs it to stop it from falling off the counter, but he misjudges the weight and pulls it off the counter towards him. Instinct kicks in and he tries to catch it with his foot but ends up punting it directly into a wall.)

Doctor #2: *sitting on the ground and crying with laughter* “If you ever come into the NICU and try to touch a baby, I’ll have you shot.”

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