“Yes, Ma’am” Me ONE MORE TIME
I volunteer at a local hospital in the Volunteer Administrative Office. I do a lot of filing and clerical work with prospective volunteers, creating files, organizing paperwork, and making sure everything is in order so the Administrative Manager can get them on board.
Part of becoming a volunteer is to complete two Tuberculosis Skin Tests (TSTs) or have proof of having them within the last year from your doctor.
We have a prospective volunteer who has completed almost everything except the TST test. I call him up to see if he’s still interested. The man answers.
Me: “Hello, my name is [My Name], and I’m calling on behalf of the [Hospital] Volunteer Services.”
Man: “Yes, ma’am.”
Me: “Are you still interested in volunteering?”
Man: “Yes, ma’am. I had my interview and orientation nearly a month ago, but I haven’t heard from the hospital since.”
Me: “Okay, well, it looks like the only thing missing is your TST test.”
Man: “My what?”
Me: “I’m sorry, your Tuberculosis Skin Test.”
Man: “What’s that?”
Me: “A test you have to have in order to volunteer.”
Man: “Where do I go to get one?”
Me: “You need to complete two. We gave you a sheet of paper in your interview packet—”
Man: “Yes, ma’am.”
Me: “—that has the hours that Employee Health—”
Man: “Yes, ma’am.”
Me: “—that has the hours that Employee Health is open to give you free skin tests.”
Man: “Yes, ma’am.”
Me: “You need to go there and get both of your tests—”
Man: “Yes, ma’am.”
Me: “—before you can volunteer.”
I’m beginning to see the pattern here. He talks over the top of me, says the same thing, and doesn’t appear to really be listening or understanding what I’m trying to tell him.
Man: “So, I cannot volunteer without these tests?”
Me: “No, sir, we cannot move forward—”
Man: “Yes, ma’am.”
Me: “—until you are cleared.”
Man: “Oh, uh, I’ve already had those tests.”
I highly doubt that!
Me: “Oh, good. Then all you have to do is go to your doctor and—”
Man: “Yes, ma’am.”
Me: “—ask them to print out a sheet. It takes only a few seconds and doesn’t cost anything.”
Man: “He’s in Pakistan. I can’t get those papers.”
Me: “Then you’ll have to retake the tests.”
Man: “I have to retake the tests?”
Me: “Yes, sir.”
Man: “Why didn’t the lady call me to tell me this?”
Me: “She told you this in the interview and the orientation—”
Man: “Yes, ma’am.”
Me: “—sir. After that, it’s up to you to—”
Man: “Yes, ma’am.”
Me: “—get the shots done and get us the paperwork.”
Man: “Yes, ma’am.”
My eye is twitching by now, and I’m normally very patient, but his interruptions are getting on my last nerve.
Me: “So, get those tests to us, and we’ll get you started volunteering.”
Man: “Yes, ma’am. So, I cannot volunteer unless I get these shots?”
Me: “They’re not shots, sir—”
Man: “Yes, ma’am.”
Me: “They are skin tests.”
Man: “Yes, ma’am.”
Me: “And no. You can’t volunteer until you complete them.”
Man: “Yes, ma’am.”
Me: “Have a good day, sir.”
I hung up during his final “Yes, ma’am” and facepalmed into both hands with a sigh nearly deep enough to throw out my back.
He never completed his tests and thus never volunteered.
