Their Push For Discounts Are Getting Rusty

, , , , | Right | August 4, 2020

We are a popular discounted retail store that offers a large variety of items including women’s clothes, men’s clothes, home decor, baby items, and children’s clothing and items. This particular day, after we have received our first shipment of garden decor due to the spring season, a customer comes up with two identical items.

Me: “Hi, how are you doing today?” 

Customer: “I’m great, but these two garden items didn’t have a tag on them so I wanted to know how much they are.” 

Me: “Oh, no problem. Just wait for a moment and I will get a price for you!” 

I walk back to the garden display and find a similar-looking object with the same height and frame as the one the customer has brought up. It has a tag on it saying $13.99. I walk back to my cash register to inform the customer of the price.

Me: “Those are $13.99 each, which is a good deal because they are about $25 in other stores!” 

Customer: “Uh… they are rusted and discolored from sitting in your warehouse for so long… so I need a discount.” 

I garden a lot and know for a fact that many things in garden centers and other outdoor decor have been purposely rusted because that is the new style.

Me: “I apologize, but a lot of garden decor has been manufactured as rusted because it is a popular trend among gardens. Those were made to look like that.” 

The customer throws the two heavy metal garden items across my counter and begins yelling.

Customer: “WHY WOULD I PAY FOR RUSTED S*** THAT’S ALREADY BEEN USED?! THIS IS A DISGRACE TO RETAIL FOR Y’ALL AND I WILL NEVER COME BACK!”

Another One From The Mutant Farm

, , , , , | Right | July 29, 2020

I’m taking an order from a table of four: two parents and two teenage kids.

Me: “And how would you like your steak, ma’am?”

Mom: “Well done. I don’t want it barking at me.”

I do my darndest to not say anything but the rest of the table is staring at her. Finally…

Son: “Mom… it’s a cow.”

Related:
Turkey From The Mutant Farm

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The Rumor Mill Isn’t Broken Down!

, , , , , , , | Learning | July 22, 2020

Years ago, a student locked himself in a windowless supply room accidentally by panicking after the light blew out and hitting the push-lock while trying to open the door. A physics professor saved the day by kicking in the door.

That year…

Sophomore #1: “Did you hear about [Physics Professor]? He kicked a door off its hinges to save a student!”

Other Professor: “It wasn’t that impressive. It was a cheap door.”

One year after…

Sophomore #2: *To a new freshman* “Last year, [Physics Professor] had to rescue a student trapped in a locked room. He knocked the door over with a single kick.”

Two years after…

Freshman: “I heard a story about [Physics Professor]. There was this student stuck in a room, and no one could get the door open, but he looked at the door and worked out where it was weak because of physics and was able to break it down!”

Four years after…

Sophomore #3: “Hey, [My Name]. Were you teaching here when [Physics Professor] had to rescue a student locked in a room? I heard he analyzed door in his head and knocked it off its hinges with a single blow.”

Me: “No, it was a cheap interior door. He just kicked it and it broke.”

Five years after…

Student:so, the story is that [Physics Professor] is looking at this door, and he realizes that because of its shape there’s a single flaw, right, so he smashes it at the perfect spot and it just shatters. [Other Professor in my department] confirmed the story!”

Six years after, the topic of fire doors comes up in a safety lecture, and one professor jokes that we need to leave them open “because we can’t all smash our way through doors” like the physics professor.

Then, the year after that…

Sophomore #4:so, the student’s stuck in a room, the building is on fire, and [Physics Professor] saves the day by analyzing the door…”

Finally, eight years after it happened, the physics professor and I are talking.

Physics Professor: “By the way… one of my new students asked me if it’s true that I used math to break a door and save a room full of students trapped in a burning building. Any idea why?”

Me: “Do you remember [Student] from eight years ago? The story seems to have mutated a bit.”

Physics Professor: “OH. Huh. Well, I told them it was all true.”


This story is part of our July 2020 Roundup – the best stories of the month!

Read the next July 2020 Roundup story!

Read the July 2020 Roundup!

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Big Bother Is Bothering You

, , , , | Right | July 19, 2020

I am just finishing my ten-hour shift. I have my lunchbox and personal items with me and my name tag is reversed so I won’t be called on by customers while I make it to the front to clock out. I get up to the front of the store and there is a lady yelling at one of my cashiers. I decide to intervene because I care for my coworkers a lot and I’ve been there the longest.

Me: “Ma’am, is there something I can help you with?”

Customer: “I left my sunglasses I purchased here last night and this cashier can’t find them! I called last night after I made it home and the cashier that helped me said she would put my name on them and put them up for me to pick up!” 

Me: “You don’t have to get loud. I’ll see if I can find them.”

I begin searching the areas we usually put things that are left behind by customers but can’t find them anywhere. I return to the customer with the unfortunate news and offer to refund her for the purchase.

Customer: “I DON’T WANT A REFUND! THEY WERE A GIFT FOR A FRIEND!” 

I’ve spent twenty minutes trying to find her stuff and she just keeps standing there staring at me, so I search again, and while I’m searching, she is bantering about how my cashier probably stole them and took them with her because they were already paid for. I tell her that is highly unlikely, seeing that we have security and are bag checked when we leave. I eventually find them in a not-so-common place to keep left items.

Me: “Found them! They were just in a weird spot, so my cashier didn’t steal them like you thought.” 

This customer gets so excited, jumping with joy as I untie the bag and show her the sunglasses. My face is pretty unsympathetic since I’m going on hour ten just to find these glasses.

Customer: “Thanks so much! I was about to go and grab the exact same pair over there and see if I could just take those! Also, your customer service could be better; you acted like I was a bother.” 

Me: “Oh… All right, bye.”

I punched out and walked out the door past her. I may have let the door shut on her while she was walking out.

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Unfiltered Story #201300

, , , | Unfiltered | July 19, 2020

One of my primary jobs is to clean up an auditorium once a movie finished. I’m aware that people will sneak in things that they shouldn’t, but unless we can see it, there’s no real way to stop it. What always came off as a slap in the face was when they left whatever they snuck in sitting around.

Case in point, I’m cleaning out one of the auditoriums. As I’m sweeping up the floor, I feel my foot knock over a cup that was placed on the ground. I look down and realize someone had been using it to spit their dip, and it spilled out all over the floor when I knocked it over! I always thought dipping was a disgusting habit, but if you have to, throw it away once you’re done, and definitely don’t leave it on the floor!