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Better Than A Grizzly Bear Or Something

, , , , , , | Friendly | September 21, 2021

I’m texting a friend.

Me: “Hey, man, sorry I missed your call. I was running.”

Friend: “Running? From whom?”

Me: “Uh… my winter weight?”

Friend: “Okay, fair enough.”

Attack Of The Math!

, , , , , , , | Working | September 17, 2021

I went through the drive-thru and ordered chicken nuggets. The order total was $4.06. When I got to the payment window, there was a trainee there along with a trainer. I handed the cashier $5.06. Simple math, right? $5.06 – $4.06 = $1? Apparently not.

She opens the calculator app on her phone and calculates… something. I don’t know what. The trainer then stops her and says “let me check” and then TAKES OUT HER PHONE AND CALCULATES THE TOTAL. The trainee then proceeds to open the change drawer and give me $.94 change.

Me: “No, you owe me a dollar. I gave you five dollars and six cents and the order costs four dollars and six cents, so the difference is one dollar.

Trainer: “No, sir, we calculated it correctly. You’re due 96 cents.”

Not the 94 cents they gave me.

Me: “What about the six pennies I gave you?” 

She sighed a big sigh and then gave me a nickel. I never did get through to them that it was wrong and just left because I was in a hurry.

All Names Are Just Noises

, , , , , , | Right | September 13, 2021

Customer: “I need… warshmalabber.”

Employee: “Sorry, I didn’t quite catch that. What exactly do you need?”

Customer: “Uh… I need, um, wamshlabber.”

Employee: “I don’t know what that is.”

Customer: “You know, a warshlamber. For indoor plumbing.”

Employee: “Could you describe it?”

Customer: *Suddenly looking embarrassed* “I have no idea what it is. I just hoped I could make the same noises my boss did and not have to tell him I had no idea what he meant.”

When Someone’s Death Is An Inconvenience, You Have Reached Peak Entitlement

, , , , , , | Right | August 26, 2021

I work in an insurance office. The owner had some serious medical issues and passed away. We notified clients via mail and email that he would not be available and was on medical leave about a year before he passed. His son started working as an agent at the agency two years before he passed.

Me: “Thank you for calling [Agency]. This is [My Name]; how can I help you?”

Client: “Yeah, I need to speak to [Boss].”

Me: “I apologize, but [Boss] is currently on medical leave and is not available for calls. I can assist you.”

Client: “I’m a friend of his; he’ll want to speak to me.”

Me: “You are free to reach out to him personally, but he is not in the office at this time.”

Client: “All right, what’s his cell number?”

Me: “I am unable to give out his personal information at this time. I am happy to pass on a message, though.”

Client: “No, it’s okay. We go way back.”

Me: “Sir, I cannot give out his personal information. Is there a message I can pass on to him?”

Client: “I’m getting really sick of not being able to reach him. All I’ve gotten for the last several months is excuses. You need to tell him it’s very unprofessional for him not to talk to his clients.”

At this point, the clients have been notified via mail and email, and I have been told to refer people to look at the notice we sent. We are really trying not to say over and over in the office that [Boss] died because we all loved the guy and are mourning the loss, but this guy won’t let up.

Me: “Sir, as I said, he is not available.”

Client: “He needs to get available. I demand a call back!”

Me: “Sir, he passed away. He cannot call you back. I can help you with what you need, but he will not be calling.”

Client: “That is very unprofessional! I’m sick of excuses!”

Me: “Please hold.”

I go to the son’s office and let him know what is going on. He’s generally a very laid-back person but is very protective of his dad and touchy about anyone who tries to bad-mouth him.

Son: “Send him to me now.”

I went back to my desk and transferred the call, and for several minutes, I heard a lot of angry talking. The son then came out and told me to mark on the client’s file very clearly that he was not allowed back in the agency.

They Want To Do Everything Except Understand The Problem

, , , , , | Right | July 30, 2021

I’m currently running merchandise to the floor after my stock team has processed it off the truck. We process items in a certain order: clothes and smaller home decor items, then large home items (ottomans, furniture, art, etc.) and pillows, comforters last. I’m stocking the bathroom aisle when a customer comes up to me.

Customer: “Do you have any bed pillows or decorative pillows coming out?”

Me: “They will be out later this morning since we process those items last.”

Customer: “I need y’all to process them faster so I can buy some.”

Me: “They are going as fast as they can. It’s only 9:00 am and our truck arrived at 8:15.”

Customer: “Well, it seems they have some lazy workers. I would be able to get that stuff out faster.”

Me: “All right, I’ll go get you a job application from the office and you can apply; we would appreciate the help.”

Customer: “What? No, I wasn’t offering to work here. I’m just asking for y’all to get the stuff out faster because I am an early shopper.”

Me: “Oh, okay. Well, like I said, we have to process everything before we can put it out, which may take some time. So, usually around 12:00 pm to 2:00 pm, everything should be out.”


Me: “Oh, well, in that case, we have most things from yesterday’s shipment out unless they have been bought. But like I said, we have to process everything before it can come out.”

The customer starts looking angry as I bid her “good day” and walk back to my stockroom.

Customer: “MANAGER, NOW!”

Pushing my cart through the stockroom door loudly to act like I didn’t hear her, I turn and say:

Me: “Have a great day!”

I stayed in the stockroom until she was gone.