Unfiltered Story #105933

, , | Unfiltered | February 20, 2018

(Customer service representative picks up and introduces himself)

Rep: “Hi, my name is [name]. How can I help you today?”

Me: *A little startled as my name is [name], too* “Actually, my name is [name]!”

*Awkward silence*

(A few minutes later)

Rep: “Let me just pull up your account info here… Oh, we have the same name!”

Me: *Facepalm*

(Note: this wasn’t simply a language barrier and the call went well otherwise!)

Unfiltered Story #104372

, , | Unfiltered | January 27, 2018

[I’m registering a customer’s coffee machine for our warranty and repair program.]
Me: Which model of machine did you purchase?
Caller: I don’t know, but I have the user manual here. That should say it, right?
Me: Yep, it should be right on the cover! What does it say?
Caller: It says [brand].
Me: Ok, that’s the brand, and then it says the model name?
Caller: It says [brand] and it has a picture of the machine.
Me: Hmm, ok, let’s try to figure it out another way. How many cup buttons does your machine have?
Caller: Three, I think.
[I ask a few more questions to confirm the model, since she doesn’t seem sure. In fact, she doesn’t seem sure of ANYTHING about the machine’s appearance or functionality, despite having a user manual with the picture in front of her. It takes several minutes for me to narrow it down.]
Me: Ok, it sounds like you have a [model name] machine! I have that one at home myself, so I can tell you it’s a great machine.
Caller: Oh, that must be why it says [model name] on the cover of the user manual!

It’s Literally Elementary, Sir

, , , | Right | August 28, 2017

(A customer is arguing with me over the price of several items he’s purchasing.)

Customer: “Look, it says right here in your flyer that chicken breasts are 20% off with this coupon, so stop being difficult and adjust the price for me.”

Me: “Yes, but that’s for store brand chicken breasts. What you have there are [Brand Name] chicken breasts.”

Customer: “What? It does not say that anywhere!”

Me: *picking up the coupon he’s handed me and reading aloud* “‘Offer applies only to store brand products listed. All brand names exempt unless otherwise stated.’ It’s written right here, quite plainly.”

(I point it out to the customer, who’s now staring at me in slack-jawed amazement.)

Customer: “The f***? I…I didn’t think you guys could read!”

(He paid for his items and left with no further fuss.)

This Is Making Them Very (Past) Tense

, , , , , | Right | June 14, 2017

(I work at an airport in New York City. A customer approaches, looking confused after looking over the arriving flights monitor.)

Customer: “Excuse me, sir?”

Me: “Yes?”

Customer: “What’s the difference between ‘Landing’ and ‘Landed’?”