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Welcome To Cats

, , , , , | Related | May 26, 2021

I am watching my in-laws’ four cats. They are all former street cats. Two of them are really fat and are on a diet, but they constantly try to find food. You can’t leave any snacks outside with the cats around. If you accidentally drop anything, you can be sure one of the cats will suck it up like a vacuum cleaner if you are not quick enough to grab it.

Usually, the two normal-sized cats go outside through the window in the morning and roam freely and come back. The two bigger cats can go out but can’t climb back in by themselves. 

One day, I let them all out. By noon, all but one cat has returned. I start to worry about the cat. She is not the heaviest one but her belly is huge and she can’t climb well. I go outside to search for her.

Not surprisingly, I find her by the feeding station for the street cats. When she sees me, she tries to run, but I grab her and try to carry her home. Instead of taking the shorter way beside the main road, where I need to open two gates, I decide to take the longer but safer road where I just need to go by a walking pass.

For a few meters, all goes well. But then, a family with a stroller comes by and the cat wiggles herself free and runs back to the feeding station. Luckily, she is not very quick, so I can grab her again.

After a few meters, the same happens again. The family and some other people now watch me, how I fight with the giant beast, in amusement.

After the fourth time, the cat rips off my mask and scratches my arms. I feel pretty embarrassed and think, “D*** it! Then stay outside.”

But what does the cat do?

She runs toward the gate, squeezes through the first one, walks beside the main road, climbs the second gate, and waits in front of the building, meowing to be let in.

That’s how I got embarrassed and fooled by a cat.

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Trash Parenting

, , , , | Friendly | April 29, 2021

We live on the ground floor of a four-story building. Our apartment has a small garden which only our flat can use. Unfortunately, we have a problem with neighbours trashing our garden.

Our upstairs neighbours not only throw a lot of trash but also plates and cups down. We complain often to the management, but up until they introduce a fine, nothing changes.

One day, a mother passes with a child while I am sitting in the garden. The mother passes quickly but the child stands at the corner of the garden and throws trash inside.

Me: *Shouting* “Please, don’t throw any trash. There is a bin just a few meters away!”

The child looks at me and throws something again.

Me: “Didn’t you understand me?!”

Suddenly, the mom comes running and takes the child by the hand.

Mom: “WHY DID YOU THROW IT THERE NOW?! NOW THE WOMAN SAW YOU!” 

And off they walked. Yeah, how about not litter at all, not just when people can’t see you?

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Acts Of Kindness Can Be A Piece Of Pancake

, , , | Hopeless | October 11, 2018

(I go to Turkey on holiday, and the hotel has a breakfast buffet that is the same every day, apart from one item that they cook while you wait. It is always the same elderly, smiley guy cooking. A few days in, he is frying up some amazing-looking pancakes, so I figure I’ll give it a shot. They are delicious. They are so good, in fact, that we go back for seconds, and he is very happy about it. The next day, he is cooking eggs. I’m not really a huge fan, so I don’t go and take any. The day after, there’s another egg dish, so, this happens:)

Me: *after grabbing some eggs for my dad* “Excuse me. You wouldn’t happen to be cooking pancakes again this week?”

Chef: “Yes, pancakes in two days! You like them?”

Me: “Yes, they’re amazing!”

Chef: “Thank you! You come and get in two days.”

(Two days later, pancakes! When I go back for seconds, he asks how long I am staying and where I am from. I say I am leaving for my home in Sweden the day after, and I think that is that. This happens the next day when I am getting food from the buffet.)

Chef: *sees me and motions me over* “Good! You wait here.”

Me: “Okay?”

(I watch him cook up eggs for a couple in front of me, and then he takes out a bowl of batter from under the counter.)

Chef: “You need good last day! Long travel, yes? I make pancakes just for you.”

Me: “Oh, my God! Thank you so much!”

(My dad, who is queuing behind me for an omelette, speaks up:)

Dad: “That is very kind of you; those look delicious.”

Chef: *smiles at me, but then points at my dad* “Pancakes are only for her; you like eggs.”

(My dad and I both thought this was so sweet of him. I have Asperger’s, and food was a huge worry for me for this trip, since I have trouble with a lot of textures. This man made a good week into an amazing one. My dad went back about a year later, and I asked him to say hi and thank you to that man if he saw him cooking again. He did, and the chef said I reminded him of his granddaughter, and he was happy I remembered him.)

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On Neighborhood Watch

, , , | Friendly | April 2, 2018

(We have just moved to a new neighbourhood. From the first day, one neighbour starts to bother me a lot. When we have just moved in, she rings our doorbell and “invites herself in.” I don’t want to be rude from the start, so I offer her some tea and chocolate.)

Neighbour: “Oh, this tea is so tasty! Which brand is it?”

(I show her the box because it isn’t a common brand here.)

Neighbour: “Ooh, let me take some bags to my family and let them taste the tea!”

(I am a little shocked by her attitude, but I get a small ziplock bag so I can put some tea bags in it for her. Instead, she grabs the ziplock, puts some bags inside for me, and shoves the tea box in her bag.)

Neighbour: “Oh, and if you have some of this chocolate left, I think my son would like it!”

Me: *already pretty annoyed* “Sorry, those were the last pieces. I’m very sorry, but I have many things to do.”

(While walking outside, the neighbour takes a glance into our kitchen and sees another package of the chocolate on the table.)

Neighbour: “Isn’t that the same chocolate?!”

Me: “Well, it is the same brand of chocolate, but this one is with alcohol.”

Neighbour: “Oh, I think it would be nice, too.”

Me: “Yes, but as I said, it is with alcohol.”

Neighbour: “Oh, my son is already 22. He doesn’t mind!”

(She runs into the kitchen, grabs the chocolate, and looks around in the kitchen.)

Neighbour: “Oh, you have many fridge magnets! Can you give me some?!”

Me: “No, sorry. My friends gifted me those!”

Neighbour: “They can gift you some again!”

Me: “No! They are not very cheap, and I will not ask them to send me some again. It would be VERY RUDE.”

(Disappointed, she went home. From that day, I tried to avoid her, but sadly, she became some kind of a stalker. She came over almost every day, calling on the apartment phone — every apartment has a line which can be called for free by everyone in the apartment complex but sadly, you can’t see who calls. It got to the point where I never picked up the phone or opened the door. Even when I was home, I hardly went outside. One day, it suddenly stopped. I wondered why but was also very relieved. A few months later, our new neighbour came over to introduce herself and told me straight away that the stalker neighbour had been bad-mouthing me, saying that I am a very bad and rude person, that I never clean anything, etc., all because I didn’t say hello to her when I was taking a walk in the park. But I am happy; at least she stopped disturbing me!)


This story is part of our Neighbor roundup!

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There Is Mushroom For Improvement, Part 4

, , , , | Working | March 4, 2018

(A restaurant has a promotional mushroom burger. I am easily recognized as a foreigner by looks, and my Turkish is still not perfect. All conversation is in Turkish.)

Me: “I would like to have the mushroom burger.”

Worker: “No problem. It will take some time to prepare it.”

Me: “No problem.”

(I pay and step aside to wait for my food. Just two minutes later, a guy who knows the cashier comes up to him.)

Guy: “I want a mushroom burger. But I am in a hurry!”

Worker: “It will take a while. This woman ordered one, and we prepare it freshly!”

(The guy looks me up and down.)

Guy: “Just give me hers! I am in hurry!”

(I don’t say anything because I am not sure if I understand all of it properly. Instead, I look at the guy’s receipt and I see that indeed we have ordered the same item. After ten minutes or so, the food is ready and I go to grab it, but instead, the guy snatches it.)

Worker: “It is something else!”

(I take the guy’s receipt, which he leaves behind, and say:)

Me: “Then, why is the same item written on the receipt? At least don’t lie!”

Worker: “Uh… I am sorry. I didn’t know that you would understand and notice it!”

(I never went there again. Shortly after, the location closed or moved away.)

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