I had a telehealth appointment scheduled at 10 AM with my specialist. I used some of my sick time to take the morning off and get ready. At 9:30 AM, someone from the practice called. I didn’t recognize her name or voice, so I can only assume she is fairly new.

Receptionist: “Hi, this is [Name] from [Practice]. Your doctor is running a little behind, so we have to bump you to 1 PM.”

Me: “Oh. Okay…”

Receptionist: “You’ll get a new email with a new link closer to the new time.”

Me: “Okay, thank you.”

I called my boss and explained what was going on, and he agreed I could just work from home and log my half-day that way. At 12:45 PM, I had not yet received my new link, so I called the office. They were, of course, closed for lunch until 1 PM. I called again right at 1 PM.

Me: “Hi, this is [My Name], I have a 1 PM appointment with [Doctor], but I haven’t received my link.”

Receptionist: *Condescending.* “That’s because it was 10 AM, not 1 PM.”

Me: *Matching her tone.* “Not according to when you called me at 9:30 AM this morning.”

Receptionist: “One moment.” *Hold music plays for a few minutes.* “Okay, we can reschedule you for 3 PM.”

Me: “But was my first appointment rescheduled or not? Because—”

Receptionist: “—You are now scheduled for 3 PM. You will receive a link closer to that time.”

She hung up before I could say anything else. At 2:50 PM, I finally got a new link… for my appointment at 1 PM. So, I called again!

Me: “Hi, I’m very confused by this telehealth system. You called this morning and said my 10 AM was moved to 1 PM, then when I didn’t get the link, you said it was not moved, but you could reschedule me for 3 PM. I just got a link right now for a 1 PM appointment.”

Receptionist: “Okay?”

Me: “If I use this 1 PM link, is it going to work at 3 PM?”

Receptionist: “No.”

I wait a few seconds, thinking she was going to say something helpful…

Me: “Okay, so—”

Receptionist: “—If you have an appointment at 3 PM, the reminder email, the reminder texts, and the link will all say 3 PM.”

Me: “Okay, but—”

Receptionist: “—The link will be provided. Have a good day.”

She hangs up again. By 3:15 PM, I still don’t have this alleged new link, so I give up. Around 4 PM, the doctor calls.

Doctor: “Hey [My Name], I’m sorry about today. We have a new receptionist, and she was trying to be helpful by spacing the appointments out, but… well, do you have time to talk right now?”

Me: “Sure.”

The whole call lasted eighteen minutes, and I was done. I have not heard that receptionist on a call or seen her in the office since.

I’m working the reception and check-in desk at a dentist’s office. One of the dentists comes out of his office at the start of his lunch break.

Dentist: “Why is it taking so long to get everything done today? It feels like it’s taking patients five to ten minutes to walk from the waiting room to see me.”

I point to the TV in the waiting room.

Me: “Remember what day it is, and realize why they’d be showing a marathon of the OG Star Wars trilogy.”

Dentist: “Oh! It’s May The Fourth! Wait, are you telling me patients who are here to see me are slow to make their appointment… because of the TV?”

Me: “I’m definitely telling you that. When I call out names to be seen, I have to do it loudly and multiple times because they’re too busy watching the TV.”

Dentist: “Well, I guess that explains it.”

Me: “Did you want me to switch channels?”

Dentist: “Later. Looks like the Empire is about to attack Hoth.” *Sits down and spends his entire lunch hour watching ‘The Empire Strikes Back.’*

I work in a research lab at a university. We have a clinic on campus which provides a huge array of health services – typically free or very low cost – for university students. There’s also a large hospital several miles off campus.

Last week, one of our grad students was trying to unscrew something when his hand slipped, and he stabbed his other hand very badly with the screwdriver. I’ll spare you the gruesome details, but it was obvious that he needed immediate medical attention.

He bandaged it as well as he could from our first aid kits and grabbed a friend to drive him. They opted to go to the clinic rather than the hospital since it was closer, cheaper, and catered only to students, so it was likely he could be seen immediately.

He told us this is what happened when they arrived at the reception area:

Student: “Hi, I’ve just stabbed my hand with a dirty old screwdriver, and I need help.” *Holds up bleeding, bandaged hand.*

Receptionist: *With a sour face.* “You should have called ahead of time.”

Student: “It literally JUST happened.”

Receptionist: “You still should have called.”

Student: “How? My friend was driving, and I can’t use my hands… because of the stab wound.”

He did get seen pretty quickly, and he’ll be okay, but we were all pretty baffled when he told us about their attitude!

Introducing Violet (not her real name). Violet is a receptionist at the place where I work. She’s a lovely person and generally good at her job, but sometimes I reckon if she walked too fast, you’d hear the loose change and rocks rattling around in her head.

One day, I get a call from Violet. She logged on to her computer in the morning and found a message on her screen that just wouldn’t go away. There was no X button, no OK button, she couldn’t drag it around because the cursor disappeared when she tried to put her mouse over it, and it persisted after a reboot.

After trying some usual troubleshooting steps over the phone, I decide it’s worth a visit to the reception desk in the next building.

I get there, and I see exactly what the message was.

It was a Post-it note.

Someone had stuck a Post-it note to her screen. She thought it was an actual message on the computer screen and was concerned when she couldn’t clear it.

I tell her what it is. We both have a good laugh. I go back to the office.

Fast forward a few months later.

She calls us again and says there’s a big icon on her screen, taking up about half the space. It’s a stick figure heading through a door.

I start running through potential solutions in my head. I’m thinking maybe the on-screen menu (which has an exit icon) has malfunctioned and is appearing at ten times the normal size or something.

Confused, I walk over.

And I immediately see what it is.

It’s an exit sign. A literal exit sign.

The little green placard had fallen off the ceiling by the main entrance, and someone had picked it up and placed it in front of Violet’s computer screen so she’d know it had fallen and could arrange to get it put back up. They’d rested the placard on the bezel of the monitor, so it was somewhat flush with the screen.

She thought it was something on her computer.

Violet still works here, though she’s at the other site now, so I don’t have much to do with her anymore. But I like to think the people over there have similar stories to tell.

My doctor’s office has two front desk staff: another person and me. My coworker was taking appointment calls, and I got to hear this fun conversation this afternoon.

Coworker: *Answers phone.* “[Clinic], how can I help you?”

Patient: “I wanted to get an appointment with [Provider]. What’s the earliest you have?”

Coworker: “She has something available in December on [date]. Have you seen us before?”

Patient: “I have. My name is [garbled name].”

Coworker: “Um … you said Dingleberry? Okay, what’s your date of birth?”

Patient: “January 1st, 1970. Wait, what did you say my last name is?”

Coworker: “Dingleberry, right?”

Patient: “No … my last name is Carson.”

Coworker: “Oh! I apologize, I don’t know where I got Dingleberry from.”

Patient: *Snickers heavily.* “That’s fine. I’ll take that appointment.”

Coworker: *After hanging up.* “That’s funny, how did I get Dingleberry and Carson mixed up? *Sees me staring at her.* “What even is a Dingleberry anyway?”

And that is how my coworker found out she’d unintentionally called a patient a rude word!