There Is Mushroom For Improvement, Part 4

, , , , | Working | March 4, 2018

(A restaurant has a promotional mushroom burger. I am easily recognized as a foreigner by looks, and my Turkish is still not perfect. All conversation is in Turkish.)

Me: “I would like to have the mushroom burger.”

Worker: “No problem. It will take some time to prepare it.”

Me: “No problem.”

(I pay and step aside to wait for my food. Just two minutes later, a guy who knows the cashier comes up to him.)

Guy: “I want a mushroom burger. But I am in a hurry!”

Worker: “It will take a while. This woman ordered one, and we prepare it freshly!”

(The guy looks me up and down.)

Guy: “Just give me hers! I am in hurry!”

(I don’t say anything because I am not sure if I understand all of it properly. Instead, I look at the guy’s receipt and I see that indeed we have ordered the same item. After ten minutes or so, the food is ready and I go to grab it, but instead, the guy snatches it.)

Worker: “It is something else!”

(I take the guy’s receipt, which he leaves behind, and say:)

Me: “Then, why is the same item written on the receipt? At least don’t lie!”

Worker: “Uh… I am sorry. I didn’t know that you would understand and notice it!”

(I never went there again. Shortly after, the location closed or moved away.)

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If Only The Trains Were As Efficient As The Announcements

, , , , | Working | March 3, 2018

(Berlin is known for its lack of politeness. Actually, people are somewhat proud of being “honest and direct,” no matter the situation, so being insulted by service personnel in the city is pretty much part of an authentic experience. Public transport workers in particular are said to be pretty grumpy. I am travelling by train from one end of the city to the other, so it is a rather long train ride, and the automatic announcements, which announce upcoming stations and the like, aren’t working. Therefore, the train driver has to do that himself, and seems to become increasingly frustrated to the point of being absolutely hilarious.)

Announcement: “Next stop is Pankow. Please mind the step when leaving the train.”

Announcement: *at the station* “Please leave the train carefully. Now, waiting passengers please enter the train, and mind the step. Departing southbound now.”

Announcement: *near the end of the line, at the station* “Marienfelde! Get out! Get in! Shut up! Leaving now!”

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Landing A Job Causes Someone Else To Crash

, , , , , , , | Working | March 2, 2018

(I am a teenager fresh out of school. I need some money but don’t have much work experience, so I apply for several retail and entry-level jobs. I get a few interviews, including one at a well-known retail chain, [Store]. The interview goes well, and I am told I’ll hear from them within the week. In the meantime, I continue going on interviews, and about two weeks later I accept a job in another field. Two full months after my interview at [Store], I get the following phone call:)

HR Representative: “Hi, this is [HR Representative] from [Store], calling for [My Name]. We just wanted to let you know that your first shift is on Monday, so we need you to come in and fill out some paperwork before then.”

Me: “Oh, I’m sorry. It’s been so long since the interview, and I hadn’t heard anything, so I accepted another position. I appreciate your call, but I’m afraid I won’t be able to work with you.”

HR Representative: “But you filled out an application and said you wanted a job.”

Me: “Yes, I did. But my interview was two months ago, and no one from [Store] ever contacted me to offer me a job, or to tell me that I was in line for one. Your call is the first contact I’ve had. I applied several places and have accepted a position in another field. I really needed a job, you see, so I took one when it was offered.”

HR Representative: “Well, we’re really short-staffed, so we need you to start on Monday.”

Me: “Again, I’m sorry, but I really can’t. The job I’ve accepted is full-time, Monday to Friday, so I really wouldn’t be available for anything beyond occasional part-time work.”

HR Representative: “But we need you on Monday.”

Me: *pause* “…and I’m very sorry, but I am not available.”

HR Representative: “You shouldn’t lie on your application. If you say you want a job, you should take it when it’s offered.”

Me: “That’s exactly what I did.”

 

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The Drive-Thru At Pride Rock

, , , , , , | Working | March 2, 2018

(The sandwich shop I work at allows phone-in orders for pickup, which people usually order under just their first name. Occasionally, that causes some confusion, because when you got multiple orders under the same first name, you have orders under Michael, Michael 2, Michael P., Michael Smith, Mike from (Employment), etc. It isn’t uncommon to accidentally hand the wrong “Michael” bag to the wrong Michael, especially if they have similar orders. I start getting creative when I take phone orders.)

Customer: “…and my name is Michael. When will that be ready?”

Me: “Ooh, sorry, dude. I already have an order for a Michael, and I want to make sure your order doesn’t get confused. Do you like The Lion King?”

Customer: “Haha, yeah?”

Me: “Okay, cool! You want to be Simba? I’ll put you down as Simba. Your order will be ready in fifteen minutes, Simba!”

(Later, my boss walks by my queued-up orders and sees all of the names on the bags.)

Boss: “What is this?

Me: “What?”

Boss: “Lindsay… Tinkerbell… Michael… Frankenstein… Judy… Spartacus…”

Me: “I didn’t want multiples of the same name in my queue; that way we don’t make mistakes on the order.”

Boss: “Well, how is anyone supposed to know which order is whose?!”

(A customer approaches the counter:)

Customer: “Hakuna Matata! My name is Simba and I ordered a meatball sub for pick-up!”

Me: “’Sup, dude. You getting a drink and chips with that?”

Boss: “AND STOP CALLING THE CUSTOMERS ‘DUDE’!” *stomps off*

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Soda, So Dumb

, , , , , , | Working | February 28, 2018

(I’m at a grocery store. It’s shortly before the store closes and their sale prices end. It’s a location I’ve never shopped in before, but I have been visiting a friend nearby, so I stop in. There are very few customers in the store, which is a bit surprising. I’ve been charged with purchasing the soft drinks for a large party and am buying 12-packs in a variety of flavors. Most of my shopping has been done on previous days and I’ve limited the purchases to 12 twelve-packs during each stop to avoid depleting the shelves. This store has stacks and stacks of the product, which surprises me, as the price is quite low and the other locations I’ve shopped at have limited quantities due to the large volume of sales.)

Cashier: “I’m sorry. I can only sell four 12-packs to you; we have to limit the sales so we don’t run out of product. Which would you like to buy?”

Me: “Really? The store is nearly overrun with the soda and the sale ends in an hour. Do you think you’re going to run out before then?”

Cashier: “That’s our policy and I can’t make any exceptions.”

Me: “May I speak with the manager, please?”

(The manager confirmed that this was the case and I would be only allowed to buy four, also that I wouldn’t be allowed to purchase more if I left the store and re-entered. I left, not purchasing anything, and made a hasty drive to the location near my home where I usually shop to get the rest of the soda. As expected, the supply was depleted, but I managed to find what I needed and check out with no issues. I mentioned my experience to the cashier, and she knew exactly to which store I’d been and related that the particular store has very low sales numbers and always has loads of unsold product at the end of special promotions, and the management there can’t figure out why.)

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