The Only Letter That’s Useful Is A Four-Letter Word

, , , | Working | October 10, 2017

(I have an appointment with my neurologist scheduled for December 22nd. The night before, I go on their online scheduling system to double check the appointment time, but it says I have no upcoming appointments. However, it says I missed an appointment on the 16th, which doesn’t make any sense because I had college finals on that day and would not have scheduled an appointment then. I call the office as soon as I get up the next morning.)

Me: “Hello, I had an appointment scheduled for December 22nd, but [Online System] says I don’t have any appointments coming up, and I missed an appointment on the 16th. I pulled out my visit summary sheet, and it says I scheduled my next appointment for the 22nd, not the 16th, so I’m not sure what’s going on. Do I still have an appointment?”

Receptionist: “Hmm, let me see… No, you don’t have an appointment today. Hm. Oh, I see what happened! It looks like your doctor cancelled the appointment for his holiday. [Other Receptionist] rescheduled it for you and sent you a letter letting you know.”

(It takes me a few seconds to comprehend this. In 2016, this person decided the best way to contact me was a letter, even though they have my phone number, email address, and a personal messaging system through their scheduling site.)

Me: “She… what? I never got a letter. I’ve gotten a couple of bills from [Hospital], but I definitely didn’t get a letter.”

Receptionist: “Well… hm. Give me a minute, I’m going to transfer you to her.” *a minute later* “Huh, she’s not answering for some reason. Did you just want to reschedule? We’ll put you on a waiting list in the meantime.”

Me: “Yeah, okay, sure. When can you get me in?”

Receptionist: “How does June 28th at 8:30 in the morning work for you?”

Me: *thinking I heard her wrong* “I… I’m sorry, the 28th of what?”

Receptionist: “Of June.”

Me: *faintly* “Do you… have anything later in the day?”

Receptionist: “How about July 5th at 11:30 am?”

Me: “Sure, I’ll… take that.”

Receptionist: “All right, then. You’re scheduled for July 5th at 11:30! You have a great day.”

(I realized afterward I probably should have kicked up more of a fuss, but I was honestly still in shock over the entire situation. It’s now become a running joke between me and my partner to go, “A letter. They sent a LETTER!” We’ll see if I actually get in earlier or not.)

The Most Annoying Growth In The Room Isn’t The Tumor

, , , , , | Working | September 28, 2017

(I’m visiting my doctor for a checkup following a surgery to remove an early-stage cancerous tumor. When the checkup is finished, the physician asks me if I have any other questions or concerns.)

Me: “Well, actually, I’m worried about [hormonal disorder]. I’ve a fam—”

Doctor: *cutting me off* “You don’t have that.”

Me: “What? My mother has this disorder, my sister has just recently been diagnosed, and we’re fairly certain my grandmother had it, too. Plus, I noticed—”

Doctor: “You don’t have that. If you did, we’d be seeing [other, unrelated symptom], and we’re not. So, you don’t have it. Anything else you want to ask me about?”

(Irritated, I told the doctor that I didn’t have any more questions, and left. I ended up contacting a different doctor for a second opinion. The new doctor asked me about my symptoms and medical history, and then immediately sent me for diagnostic tests. It turns out that I DO have the disorder, and a fairly severe case, too! She couldn’t believe it when I told her that my usual doctor wouldn’t even look into my concerns, when all of my symptoms and history pointed to this disorder. It just goes to show you the value of getting a second opinion, and that it’s okay to “fire” your physician if they aren’t doing a good job!)

Saved By Math

, , , , , | Right | September 27, 2017

(I am waiting for the receptionist to finish up with another customer before closing me out.)

Receptionist: “Your total bill is $2,720. You get 10% off, and then you paid an additional $1000, giving you a balance of $1,448. Please sign here for your receipt.”

Customer: “No, no, no, no. You did the math wrong. I’m not sure what you did, but you did it wrong.”

(The receptionist follows his bill line by line.)

Receptionist: “Sir, everything is detailed for you right here. I take the 10% off, and then-“

Customer: “That’s where you went wrong; take the 10% off after the $1000.”

Receptionist: “Sir, that would mean you have to pay more money.”

Customer: “This is why you’re a receptionist and not a mathematician. Do my bill correctly now.”

(The receptionist glances over at me with a defeated look.)

Me: “I’m a math teacher, and you did that absolutely right, but you should probably listen to him anyway.”

(She ended up billing him like he wanted to, and he lost out on some of his savings.)

Irony Is Calling For You

, , , , | Right | September 22, 2017

(I’m a nurse in a medical office, and I am in the middle of treating a patient, when a cell phone begins ringing.)

Patient: “It is SO rude for you to let your phone go off while you are taking care of me! I should be your only priority, and I can’t believe they just let you play with your phone in here. I’ll just have to speak to your manager about this!”

Me: “Um, ma’am, that is your phone.”

Patient: “Oh goodness, it is.” *then answers phone and begins loud annoying conversation that keeps me from doing my job*

Anti Antibiotics

, , , , | Working | September 13, 2017

(I went to the doctor a few days ago because of an infection I had, and got antibiotics for it. The infection cleared up, but I am now noticing that my tongue is turning yellow, swollen, and somewhat bumpy. I go to the doctor again, to make sure I’m not having a bad allergic reaction to the antibiotics.)

Doctor: “You think that you’re having an allergic reaction to the antibiotics?”

Me: “Yes; my tongue is turning weird colors and it feels swollen.”

Doctor: *looks at my tongue* “Well, I don’t see anything that concerns me.”

Me: “You’re sure? It doesn’t feel normal.”

(The doctor proceeds to Google what the possible side effects could be for this antibiotic.)

Doctor: “Are you sure that you don’t just have food stuck to your tongue?”

Me: “…”

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