Suffering From Temporal Displacement

, , | Healthy | December 17, 2017

(I’m headed to a doctor’s appointment that I scheduled two weeks prior. The appointment time is 3:30 and that was confirmed twice while talking to the receptionist, and I was left a voicemail the day before my appointment again confirming my 3:30 check in. I always like to arrive early because I work in the medical field myself and I know how important it is to be in time. I show up at a very prompt 3:10.)

Me: “Hi, I’m early but I’m here to check in for my 3:30 appointment.”

Receptionist: *very blankly* “Name.”

Me: *says name*

Receptionist: *SIGH* “Let me ask the doctor is she can see you because you’re really late.”

(The receptionist walks away before I can say anything. She comes back and rolls her eyes.)

Receptionist: “I guess she’ll see you, but you’re late.”

Me: “I’m twenty minutes early. My appointment is 3:30.”

Receptionist: “No, you’re twenty minutes late. Fill this out so she can take you back.”

(It’s not worth the fight, so I sit down and finish the paperwork. Soon after, the door swings open and the doctor calls my name.)

Doctor: “Hurry back. I need to rush because you’re very late and now my schedule is behind.”

Me: “My appointment was 3:30. I’m early.”

Doctor: “That’s not what my schedule says. You’re holding up my day.”

Me: “I have a voicemail even confirming my time!”

Doctor: *rolls eyes* “Sure you do. Hurry up.”

(I’m so annoyed with being called a liar I play the voicemail on speaker.)

Doctor: “Oh. They did say to check in at 3:30. But you’re still late; now hurry up.”

(I was so annoyed but the wait on this appointment was forever and I just quickly did the appointment. She was terrible and I never went back after that.)

They Need To Carb-Load Their Medical Degree

, , , , | Healthy | December 15, 2017

(I’ve been a diabetic for over 42 years, so I’m a bit “old school” when it comes to caring for my diabetes. Still, I must be doing something right, as my control has been fairly tight up until recently. Because of new issues, I go to see an endocrinologist and am discussing my diet with her. And as dismayed as I am to say it, I’m about 60 lbs overweight.)

Doctor: “How many carbs do you eat per meal?”

Me: “Oh, three, sometimes four. If I’m feeling particularly crazy, I’ll have up to five, but that’s my limit.”

Doctor: *looking at me in horror* “How many?!”

Me: “Three or four.”

Doctor: “Grams?”

Me: *holding my arms wide* “Do I look like a mouse? I’m talking about the diabetic exchange, doc. Fifteen grams is one carb, and I eat three or four carbs per meal, with two carbs being a snack.”

Doctor: “Oh, God! I thought you were eating only three or four grams per meal.”

Me: “Yes… and I have a blood glucose of zero.”

Diagnoses That Leave You Breathless

, , , | Healthy | December 15, 2017

(I was just recently diagnosed with pretty severe asthma. This winter, I start feeling odd in my chest whenever I breathe, and it’s causing me great anxiety, so I go to my GP.)

Me: “Whenever I breathe my chest feels odd, and it’s difficult to get deep breaths.”

Doctor: “So, don’t breathe; problem solved.”

Me: *awkward laugh* “Yeah, I guess so, but I was hoping for a more permanent solution.”

Doctor: “Take your inhaler.”

Me: “Yes, I am, but it doesn’t help.”

Doctor: “So, don’t breathe.”

(I ended up walking out and going to the ER. It wasn’t life-threatening and they just told me to take something over-the-counter medicine for a month, and to avoid going outside in extremely cold weather.)

Allergic To Listening

, , , | Healthy | December 13, 2017

(I have been getting flu like symptoms for a week or so every month for about a year and finally made myself an appointment to see the doctor. I had to switch primary care physicians for insurance reasons. This is my first appointment with a new doctor. When I go to see him, I also happen to have some mild allergy symptoms including a stuffy nose, which I am used to.)

Doctor: “So, what can we do for you today?”

Me: “Well, for the past year or so I have been getting flu like symptoms about a week out of each month.” *my voice is sort of muffled and you can tell I have a stuffy nose*

Doctor: “Seems like you have a cold there.”

Me: “No, it’s just allergies. I’m always like this this time of year.”

Doctor: “There’s really not much I can do for a cold. I can prescribe you some antihistamines.”

Me: “I’m fine, thanks. I already take them, and this is just normal allergies.”

Doctor: “You know, with your asthma, allergies can worsen your breathing.”

Me: “Yeah, I know, that’s why I am on three medications for it. Anyway, for like a week each month I get a mild fever and body aches, sometimes headaches. This has been going on for a year.”

Doctor: “I am going prescribe you a Z-Pak just in case, so your cold doesn’t get worse.”

(Writes out a prescription.)

Me: “No, that’s okay. Like I said, this is allergies, I am not here for that.”

Doctor: “Here you go.” *hands me prescription* “Come back in a week if you’re not better.” *leaves the room*

(Needless to say I left angry and never went back to that practice. Oh, and it turned out I had Lyme disease.)

No Bald Announcements

, , , | Healthy | December 13, 2017

(I have noticed a small bald spot at the top of my hairline. Concerned, I make an appointment with a dermatologist to get it looked at.)

Nurse: “Okay, what seems to be the problem?”

Me: “I noticed I have a small bald spot on my head and am concerned about it.”

Nurse: *looks at the spot* “Oh, that doesn’t look to bad. Don’t worry about it, hon. I’ll have the doctor come in and help you.”

Me: “Okay, thank you.”

(I then wait about half an hour on the exam table until the doctor finally comes in to the room. He sits down in a chair without acknowledging me and reads my chart. He then stands up and leaves the room. About five minutes later he comes back in and walks towards me without speaking. I see a large syringe in his hand. He reaches up to my head with the syringe and is about to inject me when I back away from him.)

Me: “Okay, wait. What are you doing? What’s the syringe for?”

Doctor: “I need to give you an injection.”

Me: “Why, what’s the problem?”

Doctor: “You have a spot of alopecia. This will help it.”

Me: “What is in the syringe?”

Doctor: “Steroids. It’s fine.”

(The doctor then proceeded to grab my head and injected the area with the huge syringe. He disposed of it, took off his gloves, and left the room giving me no information about the condition, what caused it, or if it would go away. I left there pretty angry and worried. Thank god for the Internet because I was able to do enough research on it to not freak out. It cleared up and hasn’t been a problem since but, Jesus Christ, talk to your patients before stabbing them in the head with a needle.)

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