Customer: “Hi, I’m looking for a pet for my daughter. I think she’d like one of those furry things. You know, a Pikachu?”
Me: *pause* “A Pikachu?”
Customer: “Yeah, you know. It looks like a hamster and a rabbit put together.”
Me: “Do you mean a chinchilla?”
Customer: “Yeah! That’s it!”
This story is part of our Hamsters Roundup!
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Read the Hamsters Roundup!
(A teenage girl enters the library.)
Me: “Hi, do you need help?”
Customer: “Oh, yeah, I’m looking for a book.”
Me: “Okay. Are you a member of this library or any other Wellington library?”
Customer: “Oh, no. I’m here with my mother for the US summer ’cause I live with Dad in Florida.”
Me: “We can sign you up to the library for free and issue you a card. The card will cost two dollars.”
Customer: “Okay.”
Me: “So, what book were you looking for?”
Customer: “Twilight. Have you heard of it? Most people in America have read it, but I’m not sure if it’s here.”
Me: “Oh, yeah. It was quite big for a while. My sister loved it.”
Customer: “It’s my second favorite book ever, after Eclipse.”
Me: “Oh, did you leave your copy in America?”
Customer: “No, I just wanted a copy from here because everyone here has really funny accents and I wanted to know how that would change the story.”
This story is part of our Libraries Roundup! This is the last story in the roundup, but we have plenty of others you might enjoy!
23 Crazy Stories About Customers Who Struggle With Reading And Comprehension
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Read the Libraries Roundup!
(I am ringing up a mother and her son.)
Me: “All right, ma’am, your total is [total].”
Son: “Wow, that is so much money! You’re taking all my momma’s money!”
Me: “Actually, your mother is paying for the items that she just purchased, and I’m not the one who gets the money, anyway.”
Son: “Do you think I’m dumb? You get all the money; why else would you be here?”
Me: “The money that is paid here is made by the company. I’m here because the company pays me to check out customers.”
Son: “That’s stupid. You should get to keep the money.”
(As I’m about to respond, the mother chimes in.)
Mother: “Just ignore him. He’s stupid.”
This story is part of our “Kids say embarrassing things” roundup!
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Read the “Kids say embarrassing things” roundup!
Me: “Thank you for calling [Pharmacy]. May I help you?”
Elderly Female Customer: “I would like to get these two of my medications refilled and I want to pick them up tomorrow afternoon.”
Me: “Okay, ma’am, that will be fine. Is there anything else I can do for you?”
Elderly Female Customer: “Honey, you can come to my house and do me anytime.”
Me: “I, uh, oh, uh…”
Elderly Female Customer: “I hope I didn’t offend you, but I’m old so I can say things like that!”
This story is part of our Shocking Old People roundup!
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Read the Shocking Old People roundup!
(I don’t work in tourism though I must seem like a friendly person since I do get a lot of people stopping me to ask questions of where things are.)
Tourist: “Are you familiar with the area? Do you live around here?”
Me: “Yes, I do. What can I help you with?”
Tourist: “I’m looking for a cathedral in this area somewhere.”
Me: “Okay, which one in particular? There’s about four around here.”
Tourist: “I’m looking for a Catholic cathedral.”
Me: “Okay, let me think… The Anglican church is that way; there’s one near but I don’t know what it is, one over up the street a ways–”
Tourist: “I don’t want no Anglican church! Bloody Anglican wh*res! I want Catholic!”
Me: “I think it’s that one right over there.” *I point at the church*
Tourist: “Yes, that’s a cathedral. It had better not be Anglican or I’ll hunt you down!”
