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It’s Just The Law, NBD

, , , , , | Right | CREDIT: binnsy79 | January 8, 2022

I am a manager at a sub shop chain. We were serving a customer who just started ordering when another customer came in and interrupted to ask what the sub of the day was. This got my hackles up because he was rude about it.

I then looked up and noticed a car parked in the mobility parking space directly in front of our big glass doors. I asked the interruption customer:

Me: “Is that your car, sir?”

Customer: “Yes.”

Me: “Do you have a mobility parking permit?”

Customer: “No, I broke my back, and I can’t walk that far.”

Me: “You need a permit to be allowed to park there.”

Customer: “I’m still waiting for it to come.”

Me: “It’s illegal to park in there unless you have a permit. You need to move your car.”

Customer: “I’ll just get my food and then I’ll move it. It’s only going to be a couple of minutes.”

Me: “No, you need to move your car now.”

The man then planted his feet and dropped his shoulders almost like a three-year-old who is not going to do what you asked.

It sucks, but we can’t actually do much to make people move from those parking places other than ask them to move. The tow truck would take too long; they would already be gone by the time the tow truck got here.

I decided to say the only thing I could in this situation. I did a lot of theater in high school so I know how to project my voice without yelling.

Me: “Sir, we will not be serving you unless you move your car.”

He spun around (like only someone who has an intact back could do) and stomped out like a big man child, threw himself into his car, and sped off like someone was chasing him.

And A Very Merry Impossible Demands To You, Too!

, , , , | Right | December 26, 2021

I work in a department store. We had a regular customer; it was common for her to ring and make the staff find specific items from photos in the current catalogue. She called us the other day to have a Christmas tree and ornaments delivered.

Regular: “I would like to order [Christmas tree], and I’d also like to order all the ornaments and decorations from the promo photo in the catalogue. It has to match!”

Later, she called us again.

Regular: “I’ve put the tree and all the decorations up in my home but they’re not right! I need you to send someone to take it all down for me, and I want a full refund!”

Because she really was a regular, the store manager eventually agreed that one of our contractors would pick up the items, provided she could repackage them in suitable condition for refund. What was brought back to the store was everything thrown into the delivery boxes together, without any of the packaging.

She still phoned in catalogue orders in the following years.

We’re Starting To Feel Really Saucy About This

, , , , | Working | November 17, 2021

Every house likes its fast food every now and again. Ours has the occasional weakness for a chicken restaurant’s secret recipe. We have moved to a location where we can order straight from them with in-house delivery, no third-party required.

With three people ordering, it’s always a mixed bag of what people are in the mood for. One flatmate likes having a burger or some other addition to their chicken. No big deal. One bucket deal and a burger on the side. No trouble!

Then, one day, that flatmate decides instead to have nuggets. Sure! That’s added to the order, instead. There’s a discussion of sauces and one is chosen. Now to wait for food.

Simple, right?

Well, no sauces show up!

We turn the bag inside and out, but there’s no sign of the sauces. We figure they forgot, go on without it, and eat our dinner.

A few weeks later, we get that craving again, and that flatmate decides once again to go for the nuggets. This time, I call ahead and let them know we’ve placed an order and want to make sure the sauce is in the bag. I speak to a person who seems like they are in the process of packing that bag right now! Problem solved!

Well… no sauce again.

This time, I file a complaint. We’ve previously complimented this store for everything from politeness to promptness and good food. I reiterate that praise and mention the oddity of the missing sauces. There is a week of silence before I get an apologetic reply, a $10 voucher for our next meal, and the promise of an investigation.

Problem solved… right?

On our next meal, this flatmate decides to not risk the nuggets again and gets a burger. I go to apply the voucher and get an error: “voucher already redeemed”.

We still order, but I’m sad that I did not get my promised resolution. I let them know and get a new voucher to use on another meal. A week passes.

Our next order comes up, I use the voucher. SUCCESS! And the flatmate once again goes for the nuggets.

I’m kind of convinced at this point that the sauces are a joke and never existed, for once again, there are no sauces.

You Are Your Own Worst Enemy

, , , | Right | November 3, 2021

Like most call centers, my work tools require us to identify a person before we can do anything specific. Without a customer file in front of us, we can only access VERY general information such as “signs your computer has a bug” or “reset keys for fifteen varieties of smart devices”. Without that file, we have no history, no previous notes, not even a hint that they have troubleshot with us before.

With this in mind, we only ask for identifiers if nothing comes up when the call comes in. It normally takes the system about five seconds to load the data.

Me: “Good morning. This is [My Name]; I’ll be your technical advisor. And who am I speaking with this morning?”

The basic form crops up… and everything is blank. Even the phone number is set to “anonymous” so I can’t use that.

Customer: “Morning. I’m [Customer].”

Me: “Wonderful. Do you mind if I grab your email to make sure all my notes get properly logged?”

Customer: “No, you don’t need that. I just need to ask some things.”

Me: “Sure thing, then. Just so you know, without it, I will only have general information, nothing specific.”

Customer: “Sure, fine. Okay.”

The customer then launches into a technical issue that starts out very straightforward. I load up what I can to advise them and start asking questions to narrow it down. When did it start, did it happen all at once or in stages, have they turned it on and off again yet? In going through the routine steps, the customer seems to snap.

Customer: “I’ve already done all that! Are you stupid? Look at the notes and you can see all of that already!”

There is a tiny pause as I am savouring the words I am about to say.

Me: “I do beg your pardon, [Customer], but I don’t have your notes in front of me. That is why I asked for an email and clarified that I’d only have general information without it.”

Dead silence.

Me: *In my sweetest customer service voice* “Would you like to give it to me now so I can look it up?”

The customer meekly gave me the email. Funny how I was able to help him much better with some specifics. I really shouldn’t have enjoyed that moment as much as I did, but boy, was it satisfying to hear someone face that they were the instrument of their own torment.

Because The Vikings Were Well-Known For Their Veganism

, , | Right | September 27, 2021

The Viking Festival is a great excuse for Norse and medieval reenactors to get together, and the general public is fascinated by the market stalls that sell modern-day replicas of period items.

Our friend’s stall specializes in cooking items reproduced as closely as possible to historic finds. The most popular items are the drinking horns and horn tankards. None of his goods are plastic or resin.

A lady has been at the stall for some time, examining every horn available.

Customer: “They’re not very well made. None of them match!

Stall Keeper: “No, each one is slightly different. It reflects the life of the animal it came from.

Customer: “What do you mean? You said these were natural horn?

Stall Keeper: “Yes, real horn from real cattle.

Customer: “Eww, no! That’s disgusting! Where are your vegan ones?”