Customer: “Do you all have a public bathroom?”
Me: “No, I’m sorry. It’s out of order.”
Customer: “What! What’s wrong with it?”
Me: “Well, someone clogged the toilet with paper towels and it doesn’t flush.”
Customer: “Well, can I use it and not flush?”
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(A couple approaches the counter.)
Me: “Can I help?”
Customer: “Yes, can you give me advice about his stool?”
Me: “I’m sorry, I can’t give medical advice. Perhaps you’d like to speak to our pharmacist, or consult your doctor?”
Customer: “No, I’m sure they’re very busy. I just want someone to tell me if it’s normal.”
Me: “The law says I can’t give advice. Let me get the pharmacist.”
Customer: “No, really, I have some here.” *whips out a clear bag of poo on the counter* “See, it’s all gritty. That’s not normal, is it? Do you have pills for that?”
Me: “Ma’am, you might want to take that to your doctor. We can’t accept biological waste.”
Customer: *to her husband* “See, Joe, I told you it was wrong. That’s why I save them.”
Me: “Hi, ma’am. Is there anything I can help you find?”
Customer: “I am looking for a solar-powered charger for my cell phone. Do you have anything like that?”
Me: “Yep, just follow me.”
Customer: “Also, can you tell me which ones can work overseas?”
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Guest: “Kamsamnida!”
Me: “Excuse me, sir?”
Guest: “Did I not pronounce that right? Kamsamnida! It means ‘thank you,’ doesn’t it?”
Me: “Oh! I’m sorry, I’m Taiwanese, not Korean.”
Guest: “Oh! I’m so sorry! Wow! Taiwanese, eh? Is Thai food good? I’ve always wanted to try Thai food! Teach me how to say ‘Thank you’ in Thai?”
Me: “Hi, thanks for choosing [Restaurant]. What can I get for you today?”
Customer: “You guys serve breakfast all day?”
Me: “Yes, sir.”
Customer: “Do you serve pancakes?”
Me: “No, sir. Just waffles.”
Customer: “Well, I don’t like waffles. Can you just make this one exception?”
Me: “Well, sir, I can’t go against code and grill you up a regular pancake but I’ll tell you what: I can make you a pancake with these awesome little holes used to trap syrup on top so it can’t escape off the side.”
Customer: “Really?! You would do that for me? I’ll take two!”
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