Completely Shredding Their Sense Of Entitlement

, , , , | Right | September 26, 2018

(I work at a popular office supply store. Every Thursday is payday, and I normally have that day off. I get my paycheck from the office and walk behind the Customer Service desk to get a pen to sign my name on the check. Keep in mind, we wear uniforms at my job — red shirts with black pants — and I’m wearing a black tee shirt and blue shorts. While I’m signing my name, my coworker is also standing next to me at the cash register. All of a sudden, a woman comes up and starts talking and saying she needs help. I keep my head down, assuming she’s talking to my coworker. Then, all of a sudden, she starts going crazy.)

Customer: *banging her fist on the counter* “EXCUSE ME!”

Me: *looks up at her, confused* “Yeah?”

Customer: “Why are you not acknowledging me?!”

Me: “I thought you were talking to the cashier.”

Customer: “No, I was talking to you! I expected better service from this place, considering I spend hundreds of dollars here for my company! Now, I’ll ask you again: where are your shredders?!”

Me: *pointing* “Far left wall, towards the back.”

Customer: “Thank you. Next time, you’d better acknowledge me, or else I’ll have some words to say about you to your manager!”

(She starts to walk away, but having enough courage, I call her back.)

Me: “Hey!”

Customer: “What is it now?”

Me: “Ma’am, I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but here, we wear uniforms. As you can see from me and this cashier, we are dressed completely differently. Even though I do work here, since I’m off the clock and unfortunately dealt with your bad attitude, I had the full right and right-mind to tell you to eff off! But I didn’t; I told you where you needed to go and got you out of my hair. I know that you must be having a ‘long day,’ and I’m sure that guy is, and that guy is, too, but that doesn’t excuse your bad attitude. So, when you come up to pay for your shredder, I expect you to treat [Coworker] with respect and have a pleasant attitude. Good luck with your shredder!”

(The customer turned beet red and stormed off toward my manager to tell him what I’d just told her. He looked at me, then back at her, and simply shrugged his shoulders. She screamed in frustration and walked out of our store. I looked back at my manager and he simply smiled and winked at me. I’m always thankful that I have coworkers and managers to always have my back on and off the clock.)

Tough Little Ship

, , , , , | Friendly | September 17, 2018

(There is a drive-on beach in my town. People sometimes get their cars stuck in the sand, and are then anxious to get them free before the tide comes in. One day we are there in our Samurai, about the smallest 4WD truck ever made. We see this huge SUV, with a boat trailer, which has gotten stuck at water’s edge. It’s been spinning its tires so much that now there’s water under them, as the truck’s belly rests on the sand. A young man in a huge pickup truck with plastic “balls” on it has tried to pull him out, breaking his tow rope.)

Young Man: “Sorry, old man, you’re stuck!”

Me: “Mind if I give it a try?”

Stuck Man: “Please do!”

Young Man: “Are you kidding? Is that thing even all-wheel drive?!”

Me: “It’ll work. Can I use your truck as a dead-weight?”

(I use my winch and snatch block — big pulley — and pull the SUV right out, trailer and all.)

Stuck Man: “Wow, you really know what you are doing! That is a fantastic little truck!”

Young Man: “Grr…”

Me: *a minute later, to my daughter* “I should have ripped those balls off his truck and said, ‘You won’t be needing these anymore!’”

Summer Lovin’ Should Have Been Spent In Summer School

, , , , , , | Related | August 29, 2018

(I’m in a hotel room with my sister and mother, singing and bantering with my young sister as we’re getting ready. We’re currently attempting the song “Summer Lovin’” from “Grease.” One of my favorite TV shows, “Galavant,” wrote a knock-off of that song, and I — unapologetically — can only remember the parody lyrics.)

Sister: “Sing the original one!”

Me: *badly attempting* “Summer lovin’… da da da da daaa…”

Sister: “Ha! I know more than you do!”

Me: “Oh, really?”

Sister: “I know half of the words, and you only know five quarters of it!”

(My mom and I burst out in laughter.)

Mom: “Math is hard, isn’t it, [Sister]?”


, , , , , , , | Learning | August 28, 2018

My wife is a preschool teacher. While attending a seminar, she heard this story from a lecturer:

“We used to use macaroni glued to paper for art projects. One day I noticed my aide digging through the garbage for macaroni. She explained that she would soak it off the paper to feed her family, as she was on a tight budget. I felt bad that we were using food for art while others went hungry. So, we no longer use any foodstuffs in our art.”

The lecturer seemed very proud of herself, and never saw the irony.

They Want It All, And In Español

, , , , | Right | August 15, 2018

(During a very busy hour of my shift, I get one customer who comes through my line. She comes in quite regularly to the point that I recognize her, but I don’t I know much about her. As I ring her up she starts speaking Spanish. I’m unsure if she’s even speaking to me, since she is with her daughter, so I don’t answer. I notice she keeps repeating the same phrase, so I reply:)

Me: “No hablo español.”

Customer: *mutters under her breath* “Well, you should learn.”

(Working in a community that is mostly Mexican, this isn’t an uncommon comment. I continue on, and she gives me a coupon that my store offers. As she is about to pay she looks up and says:)

Customer: “I want the $3 off on just the food.”

(She’s paying with food stamps.)

Me: “I’m sorry, but I can’t do that, ma’am; the coupon takes off the amount overall. I would have no way of focusing the coupon on certain items.”

Customer: *looks at me for a minute* “Okay, then separate the transactions!”

(I take out all her non-food items, which leaves her with less than the required amount that the coupon dictates – it’s $3 off a $30 minimum purchase.)

Customer: *starts to shout* “This is ridiculous! Where is your supervisor?”

(I point to myself, since I just happen to be the front-end manager. She gets even more angry.)

Customer: “I would like your corporate number; I shouldn’t be treated this way! I’ve been coming here since the beginning!”

(I’ve been working for the store since it opened, so I knew THAT was a lie. I gave her my name and the number, and let my coworker handle the rest since he actually spoke Spanish. I hope she actually wastes her time trying to get me fired, because I put in my two weeks notice a few days ago.)

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