11 Shocking Stories About Old People Saying The Most Unexpected Things!

Dear readers,

That little old lady shopping for her groceries, or that sweet old man feeding ducks in the park – they’re harmless, right? Wrong! Some old people reach an age where they realize they don’t give a fudge and can say whatever they want! Others prefer to remind you that, just because they are old, it doesn’t mean they always were. They had quite the colorful life, and likely still do!

We’ve rounded up eleven stories from our archives about old people saying the most shocking and unexpected things! Be prepared to be offended!

Be Glad She Didn’t Ask For Cream – Are you sure you know what that word means?

Would You Like French Resistance Fries With That? – Hits from the comments: “If they don’t come from Frankfurt, they’re actually sparkling weiners.”

More Slippage – These adult parodies are really getting out of control.

Not-A-Brainer Might Have Been More Apt – Ahh, youth.

Our Great Dumbocracy, Part 3 – You really need to stretch before a reach like that.

How To Lose Your Marbles In Style – Hits from the comments: “Look, behind you, a distraction!”

Old Dames Have The Best Backhands – Is this a compliment? Should they be offended? We’re confused.

28 Years Later – We’re not sure whether we want to know her intentions or not.

Speed Bumps With Name Tags – Where should feet be besides the floor?!

Retired & Extremely Dangerous – I don’t care how old you are. Just don’t.

No Signs Of Old Age – Maybe if they put up a sign with a picture of 2699 pennies on it…

We hope you enjoyed this roundup about old people saying shocking things! Want to send in your own story? Submit your story here!

Some other roundups to check out if you liked this one:

10 Times Old People Were Really Confused By Technology

16 Stories About Nursing Home Workers And Why They’re Amazing