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23 Crazy Stories About Customers Who Struggle With Reading And Comprehension

| Right | August 9, 2020

Dear readers,

Today, August ninth, is Book Lovers Day, an unofficial holiday celebrating bibliophiles the world over. Since you’re here, we’re guessing you have at least a passing interest in the written word, but we’re sure that among you are a range of readers from the casual to the avid. Whether you tear through books like they’re going to expire, or you just skim a book or two a year, we hope this roundup will intrigue and delight you!

In honor of the day, we’ve rounded up 23 stories about people in search of reading material who maybe should have considered just staying home and watching a movie instead of making life difficult for librarians and bookstore employees.


Life Is Stranger Than Non-Fiction – Any book is a good choice, right? …right?

It Was Either That Or Get Shocked By The Kite Again – People have only been writing books for about 4500 years.

Great Benefits: Medical, 401k & A Crystal Ball – It takes a special kind of person to work in a bookstore, but this is ridiculous.

Heal The Blind, Raise The Dead, & Now A Book Deal – We think Jesus may have been a bit busy, you know, performing miracles.

Backordered Compliments – Kind of makes you want to throw the book at them — literally.

The Best Of Intentions, The Worst Of Retentions – We’re afraid it may be too late!

These Hallowed Halls Of Fancy Book Learnin’ – Then… why are you here?

Burned With Goblets Of Fire, No Doubt – Torn between making some sales and being completely horrified.

Jane Austinpocalypse – Wait until they hear about Sense And Sensibility And Sea Monsters!

Caught Calling The Kettle Black – Well, at least it got them to read something.

Twilight Vs Holy Light – This customer seems to have some… mixed interests.

Books Should Be Categorized By Cover Color – How many books could possibly be green?

For Some, Reading Is Total Kabul – Might we suggest audiobooks? They’re self-reading!

Pseudo-Named And Shamed – It turns out that women are capable of writing. Who knew?

Jane Ey-re-animation – Two books?! Noooooooo!

Battling For The Answer – Maybe they should reread the assignment?

Totally, Like, Aguamenti – We totally understand not being able to put down a good book… but at what cost?!

Cinnamon Puns – Is anyone else craving cinnamon rolls?

How To Kill “To Kill A Mockingbird” – If only it worked that way with textbooks…

Jane Austen-tacious – Oprah really should explain these things better.

Cat-atonic, Part 2 – Paw your way through the cat-alogue and meow when you find what you’re looking for.

Boys Will Be Boys, Right? – As long as you skip past the part where young boys murder each other, you’ll be fine.

What’s Another Word For Dictionary? – We have no words. Maybe we need a thesaurus?


We hope you enjoyed this book-themed roundup! Any stories we missed? Let us know in the comments! Want to send in your own story? Submit your story here!

Check out more roundups here to see if you’ve missed any!

Question of the Week

Tell us about a customer that lied or scammed to get what they wanted.

I have a story to share!