When You See Books As Distractions, You Need To Reprioritize  

, , , , , , , | Working | August 12, 2019

(A friend and I walk into a large, popular furniture warehouse, looking for a bookshelf.)

Me: “Look, the books are shelved backward!”

Friend: “That’s weird!”

Me: “Don’t know how that could happen.” *picks up some books, which are mainly old Readers Digest collections*

Friend: “Must be a mistake.”

(I start turning books with the spine out; my friend takes the next shelf and does the same.)

Employee: “Excuse me, but I’m the designer here, and I need you to stop doing that.”

Me: “We just noticed these books were backward.”

Employee: “We do that on purpose. This way we don’t have to match colors.”

Me: “I assumed someone just shoved them on… probably someone who doesn’t read…”

Employee: “It’s part of the design. I don’t want the books to distract from the furniture.”

Me: “I can’t see the furniture because the books are so weird. But sorry for interfering!”

(My friend and I left, giggling like schoolgirls.)

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Fantasize About Throwing Her Into The Swamp

, , , , , , | Friendly | July 30, 2019

(I’m not a student, but I’m visiting a swamp on campus just to relax and enjoy the scenery. I sit down on a bench and start writing in my notebook. A woman sitting on another bench strikes up a conversation. She’s a PhD student and has come to the lake to take a break from doing research on a project.)

Student: “What do you do for a living?”

Me: “I’m unemployed at the moment, but I’ve been looking for a job in publishing. I’m also a writer and want to get a book published.”

Student: “Oh, that’s nice. Writing’s a great way of influencing the world and reporting on things happening now.”

Me: “Well, actually, I mainly write fantasy fiction. But I do think that stories are a great way of influencing people, even fantasy. That’s one of the reasons I love writing.”

(I’d lost her. Her whole demeanor went sour, and the conversation pretty much died at that point. I was amused more than insulted. I’ve encountered a lot of different opinions about writing, and no one’s opinions ever coincide. But I’ve seen plenty of evidence of how fantasy can impact the real world, so that woman’s negative attitude hasn’t affected my outlook.)

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The Twilight Of Our Youth, Part 8

, , , , , | Learning | July 16, 2019

(When I am in sixth and seventh grade, the entire female population of school is abuzz with excitement for the Twilight books. One of my best friends at the time happens to have the last name Cullen. This is a regular occurrence for people who haven’t met her before:)

Girl: *seeing my friend’s name written on her folder, backpack, etc* “Oh! You like Twilight? Which one are you ‘married’ to?”

Friend: *exasperated* “None of them! I was a Cullen first!”

The Twilight Of Our Youth, Part 7
The Twilight Of Our Youth, Part 6
The Twilight Of Our Youth, Part 5

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What The Dickens Is Her Problem?

, , , , , , | Learning | May 20, 2019

(I started reading when I was three years old and I am a very avid reader. I am now in third grade, aged eight. I have a terrible teacher who always picks on me.)

Teacher: “The reason I have taken you all to the library is that I want you to pick a book to read in class for this term.”

(I head over to the back of the library where the books for the older kids are and pick out “David Copperfield” by Charles Dickens.)

Me: “Miss, I found a book.”

Teacher: “No, you haven’t.”

Me: “Yeah, it’s right here.”

Teacher: “No, you’re not reading that! It’s too hard for you! Stop trying to be funny and pick out a real book!”

Me: “B-but I already found a book.”

Teacher: “No! Stop trying to be funny!”

Me: “I-I’m r-really sorry, Miss, but I really want to read this one! I’ve already read Great Expectations, and that’s by the same author.”


(I’m on the verge of tears and the librarian, who has witnessed the whole incident, decides to step in.)

Librarian: “Excuse me, [Teacher], but this girl is in here every morning reading, and she has read novels far more challenging than this. Now, stop shouting at this poor child and let her read the darn book.”

Teacher: “…”

(To this day, I am still thankful to that librarian. She helped me through my bullying and we ended up becoming really close!)

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We’re Not On The Same Page

, , , , , , | Right | May 3, 2019

(My coworker is in her last half-hour of her last day at the bookstore, and she’s ready for revenge. All summer long, we’ve had the mandatory summer reading section set up. Of course, 90% of the students come in with Mom and Dad two days before school starts to get their books. A sixteen-year-old boy comes in with his parents.)

Coworker: “May I find something for you?”

Boy: “I need a summer reading book.”

Coworker: “Okay. What’s it called?”

Boy: “I dunno, but it has 186 pages.”

Coworker: *to the boy and his parents* “Do you have your list?”

Boy & Parents: *blank faces*

Boy: “It has 186 pages.”

(There are easily 100 books on the summer reading shelves. I see it coming and I don’t believe she’s really going to do it…)

Coworker: *pointing to the rack* “In this section are all the books under 100 pages. Over here are all the books from 100 to 250 pages.” *walks away*

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