Me: “Excuse me, do you sell any vegan cosmetics or toiletries?”

Employee #1: “Any what?”

Me: “Vegan products?”

Employee #1: “Um… I’ll go and ask.”

She approaches [Employee #2] and [Employee #3], unaware that I’ve followed her.

Employee #1: “This lady wants to know if we sell vee-gen stuff?”

Employee #2: “What’s vegan?”

Employee #3: “Isn’t it where you don’t eat animals and fish and stuff?”

Employee #1: “I have no idea. I didn’t know what she was talking about.”

Me: “I was talking about vegan-approved toiletries and cosmetics. I’ve been given a voucher for Christmas and I don’t buy anything animal-tested.”

Employee #1: “Well, you could have said you just wanted non-animal-tested products; we have No7 products right here and they’ve not tested for twenty years now.”

Me: “And none of their ingredients are tested, either?”

Employee #3: *Raises eyebrows* “I’m sorry, but do you even know what veganism is?”

Me: “Yes. Do you?”

Employee #3: *Complacently* “It’s when you don’t consume animals, fish, or dairy. This isn’t a grocery store, so I don’t know where cosmetics and toiletries even come into this.”

Me: “Actually, veganism is a lifestyle choice that involves not exploiting animals in any way. This means you don’t eat them, eat anything derived from them, use them for entertainment, wear them, or use anything that’s been tested on them.”

Employee #2: *Nervously* “Oh… okay.”

Employee #3: “Okay, then. Tell me, where does one buy these ‘vegan’ products? What brands can you name that are ‘vegan’?”

Employee #2: *Genuinely* “Yes, what brands are vegan?”

Me: “Have you ever heard of the leaping bunny?”

The employees stay silent.

Me: “What about PETA?”

The employees stay silent again.

Me: *Sigh* “Well, anything with a picture of a little white bunny leaping in the air means it’s vegan, but in terms of actual brands: Lush, Beauty Without Cruelty, JĀSÖN Natural, etc.”

Employee #2: “I’m so sorry, but I don’t think we do any of that here.”

Employee #3: “I’ll give you Lush, but I’ve never even heard of the other two!”

Me: “Well, it’s what I normally buy, so…”

Employee #3: “Look, we do cosmetics that haven’t been tested on animals, but they still contain… like… animal fat or whatever it is.” *Laughs*

Me: “Forget it. I’ll spend my voucher on nuts and fruit.”

Related:
Their Vegan Knowledge Is A Bit Sloppy

A customer comes in wanting her two prescriptions filled.

Me: “That’ll be about fifteen minutes.

The customer and her husband go wait in the waiting area. I help other customers, answer phones, finally get to counting out her prescriptions. After the pharmacist double-checks the prescription, the medicine, and the count I go and ring up the customer.

Customer: “I want to look at the medicine before getting them.”

She takes them out of the bag and puts them out on the counter, but doesn’t open the lids like other patients do when they ask to see the medicine. She then pulls out a small velvet bag from her bag and pulls out a clear crystal on a string. She hovers it over each bottle for thirty seconds.

Customer: “They have good energy; I’ll get them.”

The whole time I just stared at her looking at her wide-eyed not saying a thing, I just put the bottles back in the back and rung her up. I guess I’m glad our pharmacy had good energy?

My biology teacher was teaching sex education and offers extra credit for safe-sex research outside of class.

After school, I go to the pharmacy to pick up a prescription. While waiting I decide to go through the condoms that are lined up in front next to the registers. I let the pharmacy staff know what I am doing and they offered to answer any questions I have.

While I am reading the backs of two different boxes I look up and noticed a middle-aged woman standing in line giving me the dirtiest look I’ve ever received.

Without missing a beat I hold up both boxes and loudly ask:

Me: “WELL WHICH ONE DO YOU USE!?”

I watch her face turn a deep shade of crimson and she stomped away towards the front of the store. The pharmacy staff lost it. It felt pretty good to give them a good laugh!

Related:
Sex For Anything Besides Reproduction? How Dare You!

I am a cashier at a large chain pharmacy. A customer comes up to my register with a bag of chips, a Mountain Dew, and a box of eye drops, specifically eye-whitening eye drops. He is very clearly stoned.

Me: “Did you find everything okay?”

Customer: “Yeeaaaahhhh…”

I finish the transaction and then turn to a coworker.

Me: “I don’t know who he thinks he’s fooling, buying those eye drops.”

Coworker: “Yeah, his eyes aren’t the only giveaway!”

(At the pharmacy I work at, we sell cold medicines that contain pseudophedrine (PSE) behind the counter. The reason is because the PSE in the medicine can be used to make meth, and we have a special statewide system in place, just for the sale of PSE cold medicine. This involves scanning a license, entering work ID number, and having the customer sign a statement they will not use it to make meth. A woman approaches the counter while I’m ringing, with groceries. We also do regular store items at the pharmacy registers.)
Woman: **points to a box of cold medicine off to the side** That one’s mine, I’m ready to check out now (occasionally, a pharmacist or store associate will put a restricted item aside until they’re ready to check out, this itself isn’t so weird.)
me: sure, do you have your ID on you?
Woman: Yes, here it is **hands me her ID**
(I scan the medicine, and her ID, and I get a system down error. This occasionally happens, and we’re not allowed to sell it until the systems back up)
Me: I’m sorry, our system’s acting up today. I’ll try it again in a few minutes.
(I scan her groceries, and try the cold medicine again. I get a little further in the process, but it still comes up system down.)
Me: Sorry, it’s still acting weird, do you have a [rewards member card] while we’re here? (I scan the card, the cold medicine, and it finally appears to be going through)
Me: Alright ma’am, it went through, you can pay with your card now. (As soon as I hit the buttons to run her debit card, the final check for authorization, it says system error and refuses the sale.)
Me: I’m sorry ma’am, but our system is still down, I’m afraid I can’t sell it to you right now. (the woman, who has been fairly patient up to this point, suddenly gets very irritable).
Woman: What do you mean you can’t sell it?
me: The system we use to sell cold medicine is down right now, we can try again later.
Woman: I’m sick right now, I need this medicine, my doctor said I could get this medication in place of a script, what am I supposed to do now?! (note: even if the doctor did write a prescription for her, we would still be doing the same process, as most insurance companies don’t cover over-the-counter supplies, and writing a script would be useless.)
Me: I understand ma’am, but our system is still down. you could come back in say an hour, and we might be back up by then.
**The woman rolls her eyes and scowls as I suggest waiting**
Woman: Can’t you get the pharmacist to do something about it?
Me: It’s a system error, they don’t have the power to override something like this.
Woman: cant they ring me up out front? (This is illegal, by the way, and I could lose my job by ringing it out upfront)
Me: No, they don’t have the system required to sell this.
woman: Can’t you do ANYTHING to override it? Maybe sell it outside the system? (What she’s suggesting is even more illegal, and is considered a felony in some states)
Me: I’m sorry, but there really isn’t anything I can do besides trying again later.
Woman: I can’t try again later, this has been a waste of my time! Cancel everything else, except the milk.
(As I’m removing the other groceries from her sale, she keeps going on about how I wasted her time. It took longer to void out her items than it did for me to explain that our system wasn’t working. I finally finish removing the items from her order, and ring her out for the milk.)
Me: *handing her the receipt* thank you have a- *she snatches the receipt out of my hand and walks away*