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Take A Deep Breath When You Get To The Punchline

, , , , | Healthy | October 9, 2026

A customer walks in with an inhaler and starts complaining loudly.

Customer: “This inhaler isn’t doing anything!”

Me: “What do you use the inhaler for?”

Customer: “Allergies!”

Me: “How often do you use it?”

Customer: “Every time I’m with the cat.”

Me: “Ah, so it’s for cat allergies?”

Customer: “Obviously!”

Me: “When you take a puff, do you feel the inhaler spray into your mouth or the back of your throat?

Customer: “When… when I take the puff?”

He was giving the inhaler to the cat. I don’t know how some people make it to adulthood.

A Prescription For Disaster

, , , , , | Right | CREDIT: malkaviantrash | October 8, 2026

I’ve been a pharmacy technician for a year. For context, the initial event happened while I was off, but my significant other (also a technician at the same pharmacy) told me the story.

A patient comes in early in the morning looking for his medication.

Patient: “I’m here to pick up my prescription.”

Tech: “I’m sorry, sir, but there are no refills remaining. We’ll have to fax your doctor a refill request.”

Patient: “So you’re not giving me my medicine?”

Tech: “We can offer you a three-day loan while we wait for the doctor to authorize more refills.”

The patient loses. His. Marbles.

Patient: “This is absolutely insane! Give me my f****** medicine!”

The pharmacist-in-charge that morning comes over to help defuse the situation.

Pharmacist-In-Charge: “I’m sorry, sir. I can try calling the doctor’s office while you finish your shopping to see about getting more refills quicker. I can also give you three days’ worth as a loan while we wait to hear back.”

Patient: “You’re such a b****! How dare you skimp me on my medicine? There have to be refills! You guys are idiots!”

Pharmacist-In-Charge: “Those are the options legally available to us. I can call the doctor, fax a refill request, and provide a three-day loan.”

Patient: “I don’t want three days! I want my medicine!”

Pharmacist-In-Charge: “We can’t dispense the full prescription without authorization from your doctor.”

Our pharmacist-in-charge continues trying to calm the situation down, offering the same solutions that we can legally provide, but the patient only becomes more irate.

Then, all of a sudden, the guy CHUCKS A HUGE PACK OF RAMEN WRAPPED IN PANTS AT OUR PHARMACIST’S HEAD.

Thankfully, the sneeze guards are still in place and keep it from hitting her, but the force knocks the sneeze guard off the Velcro and onto the floor. The patient keeps screaming and throwing things.

Our pharmacist-in-charge immediately pages the store manager on duty.

Pharmacist-In-Charge: *Over the intercom.* “Manager to the pharmacy immediately, please.”

The manager arrives with security.

Manager: “Sir, you need to leave the store.”

Patient: “I’m not going anywhere!”

Manager: “You have thrown merchandise at our pharmacist. You are leaving now.”

The manager and security escort the patient toward the doors, where he starts throwing more things and nearly breaks the sliding doors’ glass by throwing carts. They call the police, but he runs off before the officers arrive.

Pharmacist-In-Charge: “You are no longer welcome in this store! If you return, the police will be called!”

Our pharmacist-in-charge also lets the doctor’s office know. They promptly don’t listen and send his prescriptions to us anyway.

Fast-forward two days, and I’m working. I’ve been chair-bound with a broken foot at data entry, but all is fine.

One of the technicians working at the release counter approaches my significant other, who is dispensing prescriptions.

Release Tech: “There’s a waiter to fill.”

A ‘waiter’ is a prescription that needs to be filled immediately because the patient is waiting inside the store.

My Significant Other: “Who is it?”

Release Tech: “The patient from Monday.”

My pharmacist-in-charge and he look at each other, then look at the patient’s profile. Sure enough, it’s him.

Pharmacist-In-Charge: “Call the manager immediately.”

It happens to be the same manager from Monday.

Release Tech: “Should I say something to the patient?”

Pharmacist-In-Charge: “No. He’s been violent before. Don’t approach him.”

The manager calls the police. When the officers arrive, we point out the patient.

Apparently, they were initially going to remove him for trespassing because he had been banned from the store. However, according to the police, they discovered that he had a warrant for violating an emergency protective order and arrested him.

We still don’t know how this guy thought he was going to get away with it, but seeing justice served makes working here bearable.

A Phine Line Between Photo And Pharmacy

, , , | Right | October 3, 2026

I work at the photo lab inside a drugstore. The pharmacy currently has a long line, so a customer walks past it, comes to my counter, and hands me a prescription.

Me: “You’ll need to take this to the pharmacy.”

Customer: “This is the pharmacy.”

Me: “No, this is the photo department.”

Customer: “It’s the same store. Just process it here.”

Me: “I can’t process prescriptions.”

Customer: “Why not? You have a computer, and there isn’t even a line here!”

Me: “My computer processes photographs. I don’t have access to the pharmacy’s system.”

Customer: “It’s basically the same store! The line over there is ridiculous!”

Me: “Look, photo and pharmacy both begin with ‘ph,’ but that’s where the similarity ends. I’m trained to turn holiday pics into glossy four-by-sixes; dispensing controlled substances requires a pharmacy degree and a licence, neither of which came with the photo printer training manual. Stop using me to skip the line.”

Fill In The Blanks

, , | Healthy | September 28, 2026

I was recently prescribed a controlled medication, and it is time for my very first refill. I tried to order through the app, but there was a note that said I had to go to the pharmacy to refill it in person.

Pharmacy Tech: “Hi, how can I help you?”

Me: “Hi, I’m trying to refill [medication], but the app says I have to come in to do it.”

Pharmacy Tech: “What are you trying to fill?”

Me: “[Medication and dose] for [My Name].”

Pharmacy Tech: “ID?

Me: “Yup.” *Hands it over.*

Pharmacy Tech: “Hmm, it’s not letting me do it either. Hang on.”

He goes to the pharmacist. They both return, the Pharmacist looking a little annoyed.

Pharmacist: “You’re trying to get [Medication].”

Me: “Yes, I—”

Pharmacist: “When did you call your doctor?”

Me: “For… what? It says I have eleven refills.”

Pharmacist: “You have to call your doctor and specifically request [Medication] every month, then your doctor releases the refill, and we can fill it.”

Me: “Oh. I’m sorry, the app said—”

Pharmacist: “[Pharmacy Tech] is new so he didn’t know, but this is your medication. You should know the rules for refills.”

Me: “I’ve only been on [Medication] for one month. I’m new, too, and your app specifically says I’m supposed to come to the pharmacy to request a refill.

The Pharmacist looked appropriately humbled and walked away. I thanked the pharmacy tech for his assistance and walked away.

A Reason To Smile

, , , , | Healthy | September 16, 2026

I was born with cleft lip and palate. I had weak teeth from the day I had a tooth. When I was sixteen, I got in a fight with a man of twenty-three who sank his fist into my face and knocked all of my teeth loose.

I have been told several times that false teeth are not an option, and they would have to break and reset my jaw due to an underbite, then reopen my gums and bolt new teeth to my jawbone. That’s two more surgeries at least. I have had at least twelve already on my face.

I am now thirty-three, soon to be thirty-four, so I have lived half my life with no teeth, using my tongue to push food against my gums to eat. I have a job at a nationwide pharmacy at the front of the store.

 One day, a man I have waited on for over a year comes in. Let’s call him Ricky.

Me: “Hi, welcome to [Store]. How can I help you?”

Ricky: “I’m ready to check out.”

Me: *Scanning items.* “Do you have our rewards card?”

Ricky: “What happened to your teeth?”

Me: “Well, I was born with cleft lip and palate, so I had weak teeth all my life. When I was sixteen, a guy knocked them loose in a fight. The dentists back home say I can’t get dentures because of cleft palate, and surgically screwing teeth to my jawbone was something I really didn’t wanna do.”

Ricky: “Come by my office.” *Writes down address.* “I’ll make you teeth.”

Me: “Yeah, I don’t have the funds or insurance for that. Thanks anyway.”

Ricky: “No, no, you don’t understand. If teeth can be made for you, I will make them and charge you nothing. For free, my friend, you need teeth.”

Me: *Fighting back tears.* “I’ll be there in two days, as that’s my day off. Your total is [total]. Have a great day.”

I had to call line assistance and went to the break room to cry tears of joy and call my wife. As I write this, I’m two appointments away from my teeth, and they said they are trying to get my teeth to me before my birthday in two weeks.