I’m finishing up a prescription for a woman at the counter with her teenage daughter.

Customer’s Daughter: *Sniffling.* “Mum, do I need antibiotics for my cold?”

Customer: “No, sweetheart. Antibiotics don’t work on viruses, only on bacterial infections.”

I hand the mom her refill, and before I can turn away, a man from the line butts in.

Customer #2: “Ivermectin works. You should give her that.”

Me: *Immediately.* “Actually, it doesn’t. Ivermectin doesn’t treat viruses.”

Customer #2: “It works on cancer too!”

Me: “Sir, I can assure you it doesn’t.”

Customer #2: “And how would you know?!”

Me: “I have a doctorate in cellular physiology and public health.”

Customer #2: “I bet you have pronouns too.”

The mom and daughter both look horrified. I just lean on the counter and sigh, figuring that when they’re that far gone it’s not a conversation worth continuing.

We handled a lot of cash, so every morning, and sometimes two to three times throughout the day, an armored van would arrive and deliver change or pick up the safe contents.

Due to the health-related nature of our business, we have a lot of customers who use the disabled parking spots. There were only three for the whole building, yet the morning armored truck driver would always be sure to pull his van up sideways across all three spots.

The morning delivery took the longest, which often meant customers would arrive and not be able to use those parking spots. After asking the driver not to do this anymore, I was told to call his boss if I had a problem.

His boss said if I had a problem, I had to handle it myself.

So I did.

The parking enforcement sent two people to our location, and when he pulled his van into place as usual across all three spots, they pulled an enforcement car up on either side of him and wrote him a total of five infractions.

Shortly after we switched companies, which was probably unrelated, but I secretly think it was the small shame they felt inside after being jerks about something we all know better than to do ourselves.

Customer: “Do you guys sell serotonin?”

Me: “Wait, you can just… buy that now?”

Customer: “Yeah, it’s for sleep.”

Me: “Wait, did you mean melatonin?”

Customer: “…Yeah. Maybe.”

Me: “Well… Melatonin is on aisle twelve. If you find serotonin, you come back and let me know because that stuff is in short supply around here!”

I slowly walk into the pharmacy, in pain, and find what I need.

Me: *To the checkout girl.* “Can you please fetch me that back pain medication?”

Checkout Clerk: “Why? It’s not exactly on the top shelf.”

Me: “Yes, I know, it’s on the bottom shelf. Maybe talk to your boss about where best to put back pain medication, eh?”

The checkout girl rolled her eyes, but came over and bent down to get the medication I needed.

I was at Walgreens as a shift lead. My pharmacy tech called me to help with a customer. As I arrive, a customer is chewing out my tech.

Me: “Can I help?”

Customer: “They won’t accept my credit card.”

I maintain eye contact with the customer and ask her to explain why while I walk to the door to get into the pharmacy.

Customer: “Oh, so now you won’t help either?!”

Me: “Ma’am, I’m here to help. I just need to get in to access the computer and see what the issue is.”

I set up the POS and asked her to insert her card (it has a chip). She swiped it, so it does not work.

Me: “Ma’am, please insert it.”

She puts the non-chip end in.

Me: “Ma’am, please insert it via the chip end.”

She puts it facing the wrong way. I reach out and say:

Me: “Let me help.”

Customer: “DON’T YOU DARE TOUCH MY CARD!”

Me: “I apologize, ma’am, I was just trying to help you get the card in the machine correctly.”

Customer: “Well, I swiped it; why won’t you accept it?”

Me: “Ma’am, you aren’t inserting the card correctly; you cannot swipe it.”

She proceeds to try swiping it a few more times.

Customer: “This is stupid! You do it!”

I position the card correctly.

Me: “There, like that. Feel free to insert the card.”

Customer: “Oh, so now you won’t even help me!?”

She then storms off, calling me and the tech various unpleasant names.