What’s The Deal?

, , , , , | Right | December 1, 2018

(As with most retail jobs, I have a few questions I have to ask each customer as I’m cashing them out. Some variation of this happens a few times per day.)

Me: “So, with your purchase today, you can get any of—”

Customer: *cutting me off* “I don’t want any; just let me pay.”

Me: “Okay but—”

Customer: “Just let me pay!” *forcibly inserts chip card into reader before it’s active*

Me: *cashes them out*

Customer: “Wait, what’s this $4.98 thing?”

Me: “It’s our purchase with purchase. With a purchase, you can get these items for $4.98 instead of their original listed prices.”

Customer: “Why didn’t you tell me about that?”

Me: “You said you weren’t interested.”

Customer: “Well, can I still get the deal?”

(Ah, yes, thank you for ignorantly dragging down my units per transaction and average sale amount, while also destroying percentage stats for every employee working that day and slowing down the line-up. I really want to do you a favour right now.)

Unfiltered Story #127599

, , , | Unfiltered | November 23, 2018

The guest was a business consultant for a major pharmaceutical company.
Guest:(In thick Arabic accent) My micro-wave is not working.
Me: Uh, sir, that is your room safe.
Guest: What is this word “safe”?
Me: Ummm, your food.
Guest: What?!
Me: I mean your food is safe.

Unfiltered Story #123731

, , | Unfiltered | October 21, 2018

I’m a front desk agent at a hotel. One morning a guest comes up to me.
customer: yeah, I was wondering if I could get a discount t on my room. The heat wasn’t working in my room and I was cold when I woke up this morning, I was like, frozen. I don’t feel I should have to pay for that.
I’m immediately suspicious of this because we were not full the night before and it would have been very easy to move him to a new room if he had informed the desk agent. I press for more information.
Me: I’m sorry to hear that, how was it not working? Was the control panel on the wall not lighting up? Or was the control panel working but the heating unit itself didn’t kick in?
Customer: well, it wasn’t really not working. It’s just I went over and pressed the button on the thing on the wall andoing it said fan and cold air started coming out. It must have been the fan and not the heat. I was so cold, I barely slept.
Me: I see, and did you askin for help with it?
Customer: no, I just left it and went to bed. I was really tired and I didn’t want to bother with it.
Me: so, just let me make sure I have this right. You turned on the fan instead of the heater and rather than ask for help or turn it off you went to sleep, and now you want a discount because you woke up cold?
Customer: yes. So?
Me: I’m sorry sir, but under those circumstances I won’t be able to offer a discount. The heater itself was working, you just didn’t turn it on, you left the fan running and you never informed us of the situation so we had no way to try to help you.
Customer: oh, really?
Me: yes, I’m sorry.
customer: oh. Because I find your rooms are very expensive. I was cold and I wanted a discount.

This Ice Cream Will Floor You!

, , , , , | Working | September 30, 2018

I took my son and his friend to a restaurant that specializes in ice cream. They have one item in particular made of soft serve mixed with an assortment of toppings. Their gimmick is to turn the cup upside down as they present it to the customer to demonstrate how thick their ice cream is.

My son’s friend had never been there and didn’t know this. As the girl behind the counter handed him his ice cream, she turned it upside down. It must have been mixed wrong or something, because it was watery and his ice cream was poured out onto the counter.

The poor kid had no idea what just happened. From his perspective, she walked up to him, smiled, and dumped out his ice cream!

Don’t N-able That Word

, , , , , | Working | September 7, 2018

(One of my first days working at a pizzeria, I take a pickup order over the phone. All is normal until I ask his name.)

Me: “Okay, and your name, please?”

Customer: “Yeah, it’s N****r.”

Me: “Uh, sorry? What was that?”

Customer: “It’s N****r.”

Me: *thinking I’ve misheard* “And can you spell that, please?”

Customer: “Ah, just put [Customer]. You must be new, eh?”

Me: “Yes, sir, I am. Your order will be ready in about 25 minutes.”

(A half-hour later, a man walks in the front door. The restaurant manager sees him, walks to the front, and yells:)

Manager: “HEY, N****R! What’s going on?!”

(I am shocked and mortified, and then they both start laughing.)

Manager: “Hey, [My Name], this is N****r. We’ve called him that since he was a kid because in the summer he would tan so dark he looked like a—”

Me: “—please don’t say that word again. There are children and people of other races in the dining room.”

Manager: “We’ve been calling him that for nearly forty years. Nobody ever got upset. Just relax.”

(Thankfully, I was able to move on to a much better job in my chosen field, while the restaurant was sold and reopened with new owners and new management.)

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