When Will Hagglers Learn This Will Never Work?

, , , , , | Right | August 3, 2020

An older man comes into the grooming department of our pet store as I have just finished grooming a dog, so I come up to see how I can help him.

Man: “How much do you charge for Schnauzers?”

Me: “Oh, about [fairly standard price for a small dog], and that includes the nails, bath, and the whole haircut.”

The man makes a gruff face.

Man: “That’s really expensive!”

Me: *With a small smile* “Oh, actually, we’re on the average to low end for the area.”

Man: “Where I go, it’s [price], and they do the bath and everything!”

His price is absurdly low, half of what I quoted him. I give him a wide but very bland smile, using a tactic I’ve often heard works with hagglers.

Me: “Oh, that sounds like a great price. I’d stick with that.”

The man huffs a bit and leaves the salon and the store. I’m still holding the dog I just finished and am just about to call his owners when the store manager walks in. 

Me: *Jokingly* “Hey, [Manager], I guess we’re really expensive for Schnauzers.”

Manager: “You were talking to the old guy? I just spent forever helping him find that forty-foot tie out. He said it was too expensive, as well, and he called me a cheap bastard because the store didn’t have a wheelchair for him to use.” *Frowns* “Hey, he just walked out without paying for that product!”

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They Knowingly Made Themselves Unknowing

, , , | Right | July 28, 2020

I work for a pet food manufacturer. We make cat food sachets that are available in singles, a pack of six, or a multi-pack of twelve.

Me: “[My Name] speaking; how can I help you?”

Customer: “Hi. My cat only eats [specific flavor] of your multi-packs, but I couldn’t see it at the shop so I bought the wrong one that has [six other flavors] in, and my cat won’t eat half of it. What are you going to do for me?” 

Me: “You… intentionally bought the wrong food, knowing your cat wouldn’t like it?”

Customer:No! No, I did not ‘intentionally’ buy it. I was forced, because you weren’t selling the multi-pack I wanted with the flavors I wanted!”

Me: “Well, couldn’t you buy the singles or even the six-pack?”

Customer: “You expect me to buy those? They are more expensive!”

Me: “All right… Well, in most cases we can’t do much — you have just told me you knowingly purchased the wrong food — but I will see what I can do for you.”

Customer: “I TOLD YOU, I DIDN’T ‘KNOWINGLY’ BUY ANYTHING! YOU FORCED ME, BECAUSE [Small, Obscure Shop out of the roughly 500,000 shops we supply to] DIDN’T HAVE [one specific flavor] FOOD! THIS IS YOUR FAULT!”

Me: “SIR! Sir, I am going to have to ask you to calm down. I understand your position, and I am going to speak with management to see if there is something we can do for you, like an exchange, but I need to clearly state that you intentionally bought the wrong food, and if this were to occur again in future, I would not be able to assist you, as this is not an error on our behalf where the packaging was mislabeled or the wrong product was packaged. You have received the correct product that you intended to purchase. Please, in future, do not do this again. I will contact you further once I receive the go-ahead from management.”

How is buying twelve sachets where half are wrong cheaper than buying six correct sachets? Luckily, I was in need of sachets for product giveaways, which was the only reason we were able to do an exchange. Also, he then said he had bought about five boxes, so that’s about thirty sachets that were “wrong” that he intentionally purchased.

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The Perfect Time To Register A Meltdown

, , | Right | July 16, 2020

I am working at a pet store as a cashier. We are very short-staffed, so I often have to leave the register unattended to care for the animals throughout the day. I am always careful to stay within eyesight of the register and check it every minute or so for guests. Apparently, this one woman escaped my notice, as she barrels around the corner and starts yelling at me.

Customer: “Where the h*** is the cashier?!”

Me: “I apologize, ma’am. I’ll be right up to assist you.”

I carefully set down the crickets I am handling, taking maybe ten seconds to do so, and this makes her more irate.

Customer: “I have been waiting for twenty f****** minutes, and now you’re going to take your sweet time and make me wait even longer?! You should be ashamed that you’re so incompetent at such a simple job. This is the most pathetic thing I have ever seen.”

While she is ranting, I am walking with her to the register. She continues on with her tantrum, spewing all kinds of terrible things at me, while I silently ring her up. It just so happens that my register decides that this is the PERFECT moment to completely freeze.

Me: “Ma’am, I do apologize, but I will need to get a manager up here to reset the system. It should only take a moment.”

Initiating total meltdown:

Customer: “Are you actually r*******?! How can you be so f****** incompetent at running a register? You people run all over the place claiming you deserve a raise, but you don’t even understand simple concepts like pressing buttons. You don’t deserve a job, here or anywhere else!”

I tune out until my manager comes to reset the register. When he comes up, she is as sweet as pie.

Customer: “Oh, thank you so much! I’m in a huge hurry and I’ve been in the store for over an hour, so I appreciate you helping me to get this all through! I just hope next time you’ll be able to have more competent employees so you don’t have to run all the way up here just to help me.”

She left, and I told my manager the whole story. He let me take a break and when I came back, he told me he’d checked the tapes. Turns out, she was in the store for a total of seven minutes.

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You Do NOT Want To Go Down This Rabbit Hole

, , , , , , | Working | July 7, 2020

I own a rabbit that I rescued from a bad home. He was going to be left outside to die. I don’t have an enclosure ready, so I use his very, VERY undersized one until I can buy him a better one.

Rabbits can’t live in tiny store-bought cages. Companies want money; they don’t care about healthy animals. So, those little plastic cages are simply much too small. His cage is thirteen inches by twenty-nine inches, and they need so much more than that.

I go into a pet store to buy his new cage — a large dog playpen, which is great for rabbits — as well as some toys, hay, etc. I buy a huge bag of hay, the playpen, and some paper litter for his litter box. I make it up to the counter, and the cashier is ringing me out.

Cashier: *Holding the playpen* “New puppy?”

Me: “Oh, it’s for my new rabbit. He’s a rescue.”

Her expression turns sour.

Cashier: “I’m going to have to ask you to leave.”

Me: “Excuse me?”

Cashier: “I’m not going to let you abuse an animal. Get out.”

I’m stunned. The cage is plenty big enough.

Me: “Call your manager.”

Cashier: “Fantastic idea.”

She calls the manager, who hurries over like there’s an emergency.

Manager: “Ma’am, I can’t allow you to hurt animals in the store. Please leave.”

Me: “Excuse me? I don’t even have an animal with m—”

Cashier: “She wants to buy this for a rabbit. And look, she’s buying hay! Everyone knows that’s terrible for them.”

Me: “Hay is essential as the main part of their diet. I think it’s around eighty percent. Don’t speak to me that way, please.”

Manager: “I’m so sorry.” *Gritting teeth* “[Cashier], what’s the problem, then?”

Cashier: “This cage is much too large for a rabbit. It’s meant for dogs! They need the small cages meant for rabbits that [Bad Brand with too-small cages] sells! Like I use for my rabbit! Big ones stress them out. And everyone knows they don’t need hay. They need carrots! Haven’t you ever watched TV?”

Me: “Firstly, almost all of those cages are extremely small and shouldn’t be used for anything other than a litter pan. Secondly, carrots are full of sugar and one or two baby carrots a week is more than enough. Anything more is bad for them. I pity your poor rabbit.”

Manager: “Wait… [My Name]?”

Me: “Yes, that’s me.”

Cashier: “You’re abusing that poor rabbit! Mine gets the best life! That cage is terrible!”

Manager: “[Cashier]! [My Name] runs a local rabbit rescue! I was a volunteer there! She knows much more about them than you. Go to the back. We’ll talk about this later.”

The cashier storms off as the manager turns back to me.

Manager: “I am so sorry. My daughter’s girls are so much happier after what you taught me. They have two dog pens put together and lots of outside time. You really care about animals. I’m so sorry about her. Oh, my goodness.”

She assures me that the cashier will be fired that day. I thank her and tell her she is a great pet owner and person.

We’re actually good friends now. My rescue loves his new pen and I have decided to keep him. He has a friend and is doing wonderfully. Two months after this happens, I get an email.

Email: “Hello. You don’t know who I am… I am the cashier that worked for [Manager]. I want to say that while I think you were being overbearing and rude, I decided to do some research and now my precious baby lives in a dog pen. I still think you need to do a lot more research about animals, but that was the one thing you were right about. Can’t expect [black racial slurs] to know everything about animals, since it requires some common sense. Don’t contact me.”

At least the racist a** got him a proper cage?

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Maybe He’s A Vulcan?

, , , , | Right | July 7, 2020

I have recently transferred to a new store, stepping down from my old position to a new one where I run the truck and stock. This is largely due to the burnout I am experiencing with customers. My patience has worn down to almost nothing over the years, and it shows.

One day, the cashier pages for a manager, and I walk to the front.

Me: “How can I help you?”

Customer: “Let me tell you something: your cashier has an attitude! And when people get an attitude with me, I get an attitude with them!”

Me: “Okay.” *To the cashier* “What’s the problem here?”

Cashier: “He wants to exchange these two items.”

Me: “All right. Sir, I’ll take you over at this register, and we can exchange them over here.”

The customer huffs and fusses the whole time I have him at the register, refusing to tell me what exactly my cashier did that ticked him off so much. Eventually, another manager arrives on the scene.

Manager: “What seems to be the problem here?”

Me: “He says [Cashier] has an attitude problem.”

Customer: “Your cashier said I’m not logical! He insulted me!”

Manager: “That’s terrible, sir. I’ll be sure to have a talk with him.”

Customer: “I want him written up!”

Manager: “Sure thing, sir. I’ll definitely have him written up.”

Customer: “Let me tell you something. I asked him why [the exchanged items] were different prices, and he said he didn’t know, and he cracked a joke about ‘some things not being logical’! He insulted me! I’m a minister, you know! Why doesn’t he know why the prices are different?”

Manager: “He’s new, sir. I’ll be sure to deal with him. He’s actually a minister, too. Isn’t that interesting?”

Customer: “I want corporate’s number! I’m going to go all over social media about this. This is the worst customer service I have ever seen! I want that man to apologize to me!”

The other manager actually agrees and swaps me with the cashier so the three of them can talk near the office. Our cashier apologizes, assuring the customer that he misread the situation and cracked a joke about CORPORATE not being logical with their pricing, but the customer is having none of it.

Customer: “Your manager here says that you’re a minister?”

Cashier: “Yes, sir.”

Customer: “Well, people like you give us Christians a bad name! I have some serious doubts about your salvation!”

Cashier: “Well… I forgive you.”

He walked away. The customer eventually left, still fussing and threatening to “go to social media.” He took his wife with him, who had been silent throughout the whole event and looked completely dead inside. Our cashier did not get written up, but he did become a bit of a legend among his coworkers.

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