“She Barks” Isn’t Referring To The Dog

, , , , | Right | September 21, 2018

(I work at a pet store. A customer comes up behind me and roughly taps me on the shoulder while clearing her throat. I turn to see a woman in her 40s, cradling a snarling Chihuahua in her arms. It snaps and lunges at me. Throughout our conversation, this armpit piranha keeps trying to escape its owner’s grip.)

Me: “Hello! How—”

Customer: “She barks.”

Me: “Oh, a talker, eh? Does that happen more when she greets you, when she’s hungry, or when she plays?”

Customer: “She barks!”

Me: “Okay. We have tons of interactive toys to occupy her, and we offer classes for—”

Customer: “Where are your collars? She needs to learn her manners.”

Me: “Training collars are showcased in aisle eight, but they are locked up.”

Customer: “I’m not trying to steal!”

Me: “No, I know. It’s just policy.”

Customer: *eyes me suspiciously* “Fine. Show me.”

(I take her to the aisle with the showcase and we go over the different kinds. Again, I try to find out why her dog is barking and what she has done about it, but she is adamant that she just wants to buy a collar and go home. I warn her that it won’t be an instant fix, but she insists she knows her dog better than I do. She picks one, purchases it, and leaves. Thinking my ordeal is over, I return to my duties. Two hours later, a manager pages me to the register. I arrive to see the same woman, the dog still on her arm. On the register belt is the collar she purchased, the box and directions shredded.)

Me: “Yes?”

Customer: “You sold me s***!”

Manager: “You helped this woman?”

Me: “She wanted a bark collar.”

Customer: “It doesn’t work!”

Me: “It does take a little while for your dog to stop. It’s not an instant fix.”

Customer: “That’s not what you told me! You said this would solve my problems!”

Manager: “[My Name], you know these don’t work right away. Were you thinking of something else?”

Me: “No. I told her they work, but over time. What’s happening when you put it on your dog?”

Customer: “It doesn’t even turn on!”

Manager: “Oh, it’s just defective. That’s easy enough.”

(We exchange her collar for another one and my manager takes her aside to listen to her complaint. When it’s over and she leaves again, my manager looks like he’s about to bang his head on the wall.)

Me: “So… what’s up?”

Manager: “She wanted me to fire you for not telling her she needed to charge the collar.”

Me: “Uh, well, it’s an electric collar and there are no batteries. What did she think it did?”

Manager: “I don’t know. I just don’t know.”

Me: “It’s literally the first sentence in the instructions.” *looks out the all-glass front of the store* “She’s standing out there.”

Manager: “I know. She’s waiting for me to reprimand you. Please just go look pitiful somewhere else.”

Those Poor People With Their Burst Pipes

, , , , , | Friendly | September 21, 2018

(Houston, Texas has just been hit by Hurricane Harvey, the worst hurricane on record. Entire communities are gone, whole families are being discovered dead in their homes, and the whole city has been completely torn asunder. My store in New Jersey runs pet-based fundraisers several times a year, and our current group has generously told us to cut their fundraiser short in favor of collecting donations for hurricane relief. I’m ringing up a regular customer, who is always brusque, a tad misogynistic, and generally hard to deal with, a few days into the new fundraiser.)

Me: “Okay, and we’re currently collecting donations for Hurricane Har–”

Regular: *impatient and waving his hand in my face* “No, I have my own water problems.”

Me: *livid, but silent*

(Whatever his “water problems” were, I hope they got only worse!)

Pregnant Males? That’s Baller

, , , , | Right | September 10, 2018

(I work at a very well-known pet store that sells live animals. A few months into working there a visibly concerned elderly gentlemen comes up to me.)

Elderly Man: “Excuse me, miss, I believe one of your hamsters is… giving birth.”

(I know this is very unlikely considering males and females are housed separately, but mistakes are occasionally made. I go over to where the alleged pregnant hamster is.)

Me: “Um… sir, these are male hamsters, it’s impossible for any of them to be giving birth, and there aren’t any babies in the tank.”

Elderly Man: “But what’s coming out of that one’s butt?”

Me: “…those are his testicles, sir.”

Elderly Man: *visibly embarrassed considering he was with his wife and grandchildren* “Well, thank you for checking out the situation for us.”

(I haven’t seen them in the store since.)

This Isn’t Bunny

, , , , | Right | September 2, 2018

(I am an intern at a local pet store. I am about 16 or 17, and it is my first week. A man walks up to me and asks if we have any rabbits.)

Me: “Certainly! Right this way!”

(The man takes a look at the rabbits.)

Customer: “No, these won’t do; they have claws. Do you have any without claws?”

Me: “No, sir, all rabbits have claws. They need them.”

Customer: “Why? Why do they need claws?”

Me: *a bit stunned* “Well, sir, they are meant to dig, so they need the claws for that.”

Customer: “Can you remove them?”

Me: “No, sir, we cannot remove the rabbits’ claws.”

Customer: “Okay. Do you have any other animals without claws?”

Me: “Unfortunately not. Is there anything else I can help you with?”

(The man stares blankly at me for a couple of moments:)

Customer: “No, you don’t understand! I’m a bunny-rabbit!”

(Then, he walked out, leaving me with probably the most confused face ever.)

Unfiltered Story #118706

, | Unfiltered | August 23, 2018

(I’ve worked at a large-scale pet store chain for several years. It’s before open and we’re having a meeting in the back.)

Manager: “I have a big surprise! I’ve been given permission to give out a special raise to whoever proves themself most worthy. I’m not going to say how much it is, but trust me, it’s worth it. You’ll get a set amount of money each week.”

(She goes on for several minutes about all the things we could buy with this raise, painting the picture like it’s life changing. Everyone seems quite excited, and me, being a poor college student, am desperate to get this raise. For the next several weeks, I volunteer to do the least favorable jobs, like cleaning the cages, and accidents made by dogs brought to the store. I put in for hours that no one wants, like the closing shift where we have to clean at the end of the night. All seems well, and I believe I’m going to get the raise. I’m called into the managers office about a month after the announcement.)

Manager: “So, [My Name]. I’ve noticed you’ve been working really hard the last month or so.”

Me: “Yes, ma’am. I’ve been trying my hardest.”

Manager: “Uh huh. I don’t like suck-ups, [My Name].

Me: “Excuse me?”

Manager: “I know you’re only working hard for the raise, and I know that you’re just a lazy piece of s*** who wants to get your grubby little hands on the extra cash.”

Me: *stunned silence*

Manager: “But not everyone saw through your plan, so the raise is yours via my boss. Here’s the money for this week. Enjoy it, pig.”

(She slides a check over on the table and gives me a death glare. I grab the check and quickly walk out of the room, making a beeline for the bathroom. I sit in the bathroom for about five minutes, crying, as I’m sleep deprived and emotional from not only balancing work and college, but working the extra hours and later shifts the last month. I power through the rest of my shift, which is only about thirty minutes, and am just leaving when I happen to run into my manager’s boss, which isn’t unusual, as he often hangs around our store. I know him somewhat personally, as he’s friends with my father.)

Manager’s Boss: “Are you okay, [My Name]? Your eyes are red.”

Me: “Yeah, I’m fine. Thank you for the raise. I really needed it.”

Manager’s Boss: “You sure you’re okay?”

Me: *on the verge of tears again* “It’s just that [Manager] called me a lazy piece of s*** and a pig because I got the raise.”
Manager’s Boss: “SHE DID WHAT? Go home, [My Name]. I’m taking care of this.”

(Worried, I go home. I haven’t had time, so I look at the check. It’s only for two cents a week. I call my manager, as with the way she described it, it must have been more.)

Manager: “WHAT?”

Me: “Uh… I’m sorry to bother you… it’s just that the check that you gave me… is, um… just for two cents, I think it was a typo.”

Manager: *smug* “Oh, so you WERE just doing it for the money, huh?”

Me: *fed up* “Alright, you want to know the truth? I’m a poor college student barely making minimum wage. I have to skip meals because I can’t afford to eat. So, yeah, I’m mostly in it for the money. Happy, b****?”

Manager: *click*

(I came in the next day and wasn’t surprised to be called into my manager’s office. I expect to be fired, and I really regret what I said. I’m surprised to find my manager and her boss in the office as I take a seat.)

Manager’s Boss: “So, ladies. What’s the issue?”

Manager: “She called me a b****.”

(Her boss doesn’t even flinch.)

Me: “I was trying to call because the check she gave me was for two cents. She called me a pig. I’m sorry for losing my temper, ma’am.”

Manager’s Boss: “Don’t apologise, [My Name]. That check was for $30. What the h***, [Manager]?”

(My manager turns bright red and begins to stutter.)

Manager: “I… I thought that check would let me have a cut of it since I’m the m… manager.”

Manager’s Boss: “You’re fired. I want you out today.”

Manager: “What?!? EXCUSE ME?!? I’LL SUE FOR DISCRIMINATION! I’LL SUE ALL OF YOU IMMIGRANTS!” ( Manager’s boss is black and I am Asian. )

( Eventually, we had to call the police to escort her from the property. We got a new, much better manager and I got my bonus. I quit the next year when I was offered a better job. )

Page 1/6312345...Last
Next »