Someone’s On Drugs And It’s Not The Hamsters

, , , | Right | November 14, 2018

(It’s a Friday evening and I’m running the store by myself. There are only 15 minutes until we close so I’m doing some cleaning.)

Customer: *enters screaming* “You’ve been lying to me!”

Me: *rather startled* “I’m sorry, what?”

Customer: *still screaming* “You told me hamsters should eat hay and cat-litter!”

Me: “Ma’am, I’ve said no such thing. Perhaps you’ve talked to someone else?”

Customer: “No! I know it was you; you just don’t remember it because they give you drugs! The guards are on their way to arrest you!”

Me: “Sorry? Who gives us drugs?”

Customer: “Don’t play dumb! It’s those brothers!” *walks away towards the rodent aisle*

(I keep cleaning, thinking this is the end of it.)

Customer: *once again screaming* “There are drugs in these hamster treats! From South America! Why are you selling them?!”

(I walk up to the customer to see what she is talking about; she is currently holding a bag of hamster food I remember her hamster didn’t eat so she came back with it.)

Me: *thinking she have forgotten about it* “Ma’am, I recall you returning [Food] last time because he didn’t—”

Customer: *interrupts me* “SHUT THE H*** UP! I’M TALKING TO THE GUARDS! Your dog treats give you diarrhea!”

(I just shake my head and return to the register. A few minutes later the customer comes back to me.)

Customer: “[Our Store] are idiots! They said my hamster was a male, but she is a female! That’s why she will eat this food!”

Me: “We don’t sell hamsters.”

(I finish the transaction for the food and treats. Apparently, the fact that the treats will be drug-filled isn’t a problem now.)

Me: *as she is heading for the door* “Have a nice weekend!”

Customer: “You, too! I hope you get some dog treats; everybody likes cake!”

(Ah, the exciting work of a pet store employee.)

Unfiltered Story #124823

, , | Unfiltered | November 7, 2018

The petstore I was was having a special adoption week, and employees were encouraged to be festive. I decided to wear these cute cat ears with bows in my hair. A customer comes in with his young son, and proceeds to follow me around the store. Finally he walks up to me and i asks very creepily “hey if I pet you will you purr for me?” I was so uncomfortable I lied and said my manager just called me and good in the office.

The Owner Nose Best

, , , , | Right | November 6, 2018

(I work as the manager of a salon at a pet store chain. A customer, who previously complained and said she’d never come back, comes in to pick up her dog. The dog received our bath service, which comes with just a bath, nail trim, ear cleaning, and a sanitary area shave.)

Customer: “Why did you give my dog a haircut?”

Me: “What seems to be the problem, ma’am?”

Customer: “You shaved my dog’s nose. I specifically told y’all not to give my dog a haircut.”

Me: “I apologize, but I can assure you, ma’am, my bather did not shave or even trim your dog’s nose.”

(Unbeknownst to her, our bathers are not even allowed near a dog’s face with scissors or clippers.)


Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but again, we did not give your dog a haircut.”

(She then storms out and complains to our assistant store manager, who spoke with her the last time she complained. After speaking with her and giving her the bath for free, my manager comes back to let me know what she said.)

Assistant Manager: “She told me she’d never come back again. I asked her if she was sure because that’s what she said last time.”

Unfiltered Story #124631

, , , | Unfiltered | October 31, 2018

(I was working in the aquatics section of a pet store well known in the Hamptons for stocking backyard ponds for mansions and estates. This day a 40-something, well dressed woman came in with her daughter who was maybe 12)

Lady: “Excuse me, could I have some of these bigger koi for my pond?”
Me: “Of course. How many would you need?”
Lady: I’d say a dozen or so. And some of these pretty ones over here.” She points at our salt water tank with Lion Fish in it.
Me: “The koi would be fine, but Ma’am those fish are salt water. They would die the moment you put them in the pond.”
Lady: “Well can’t I just add a bunch of salt to the pond?”
Me: “…..I… guess you could if you had the system for it, but then all your koi would die.”
Lady: “Why is that?”
Me: “Because these are fresh water fish. You cant have both in the same pond.”
Lady: “Oh.” She drops it and continues browsing the pond section. “OH! What are these little funny things?”
I see she’s pointing at the bull frog tadpoles.
Me: “Those are tadpoles, Ma’am.”
Lady: “What are tadpoles?”
Me: “They’re baby frogs.”
Lady: “Then where are their legs?”

The woman’s daughter shoots me a look from behind her mother seeming to say “God help me! I deal with this woman 24/7!”

It’s Not Going To Be Her Dog-Day Afternoon

, , , , | Working | October 24, 2018

(I work in a pet store. Per corporate policy, I am permitted to bring my dog to work, provided I accept full responsibility for his actions in the store. We have a new store manager who likes to ignore rules that do not benefit her and enforce rules that none of us have ever heard about, nor can they be proven when we ask where she found them. This day, my dog and I arrive about 15 minutes before my shift starts.)

Me: “Hello, [Store Manager]! How are you today?”

Store Manager: “Oh, [Dog]! You are so handsome! Do you want to come spend some time with your Auntie [Store Manager]?”

Me: “Sorry, doesn’t he have to stay with me?”

Store Manager: *snaps* “I wasn’t asking you, was I? Go work the top stock.”

Me: “Well, I’m not on the clock yet so—”

Store Manager: “Just give him to me. He can hang out in the office with me while you work.”

Me: “Um… No.”

Store Manager: “Excuse me?”

Me: “[Dog] stays with me.”

Store Manager: “He can come with me.”

Me: “Again. No. Corporate policy states I am solely responsible for him.”

Store Manager: “You’ve got quite an attitude today, [My Name]. Come see me when you clock in.”

(In the remaining time before I clock in, I call our corporate support line and report the store manager, relaying our conversation and how she tried to convince me to give her my dog. My case is documented and I am given an extension number to call to reach a specific person if she tries to penalize me. Sure enough, after I clock in and go to see her, she has a formal write-up filled out.)

Store Manager: “You need to learn to respect your superiors. You won’t last long in retail if you don’t.”

Me: “Respect is paramount.”

Store Manager: “Good. Now, sign your write up.”

Me: “No.”

Store Manager: “Again with the attitude! This is unacceptable!”

Me: “You are absolutely right.”

(I call corporate again, dialing the extension I was given for the manager. The entire time my store manager is telling me she should fire me on the spot for being such an insolent brat. Then, the corporate manager on the other end picks up.)

Corporate Manager: “[Corporate Manager].”

Me: “Yes, [Corporate Manager], this is [My Name]. You asked me to call directly in regards to [Store Manager]?”

Store Manager: “What the h*** do you think you’re doing? Hang up that phone right now!”

Me: “May I put you on speaker phone, [Corporate Manager]?”

Corporate Manager: “Yes, please do.” *now on speaker phone* “[Store Manager], you are aware that if an employee brings their pet to work, they are the only ones to handle that pet. Correct?”

Store Manager: “S-sir?”

Corporate Manager: “So, you also know it is a violation of policy to tell [My Name] to give you her dog, not only because she would no longer be in charge, but because she was not on the clock?”

Store Manager: “But I just wanted—”

Corporate Manager: “[Store Manager], I will be calling your store momentarily. [My Name], I assume you’ve clocked in. Please go about your duties. Thank you, and have a good evening.”

Me: “Thank you, [Corporate Manager].”

(I left the office immediately. The store manager did not come out for over half an hour. When she did emerge, she looked quite angry. We have a non-retaliation policy in our company, so if she does try to get back at me, we can go through this whole routine all over again.)

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