Has Some Serious Bag Baggage, Part 7

, , , , | Right | March 1, 2021

The company I work for has recently decided to go completely bagless. It can be a little inconvenient, but for the most part, no one’s really cared all that much. Today while I’m working the till, a customer walks up with two six-packs of beer.

Me: “Would you like a cardboard flat to carry it out in?”

Customer: “No, just a bag is fine.”

Me: “Oh, sorry. We don’t have bags anymore.”

Customer: “Seriously?! So, if I come in and buy three bottles of wine, am I just supposed to put them in my pockets?!”

Me: “We have flats and boxes, and we sell reusable wine totes for $1.”

Customer: “Then I guess I’d better find somewhere else to shop.” *Storms out*

Me: “…okay?”

Related:
Has Some Serious Bag Baggage, Part 6
Has Some Serious Bag Baggage, Part 5
Has Some Serious Bag Baggage, Part 4
Has Some Serious Bag Baggage, Part 3
Has Some Serious Bag Baggage, Part 2

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Homo Defectus

, , , , | Right | February 15, 2021

I’m a customer in this story. I don’t live in the best part of town but I have a good relationship with many local store owners. I get to the counter just behind another customer. He has a four-pack of mixed drinks, which he holds in his hands instead of putting on the counter. The cashier reaches out to get them to scan, and the guy loses it.

Customer: “What the f***?! You touched my hand! Don’t touch me, you homo! I don’t want those; I’m not buying anything from this homo shop!”

The cashier thinks the guy is making some off-colour joke and gives a half-hearted laugh.

Customer: “Why are you laughing?! What is wrong with you, you homo?! Everyone in this shop is a f****** homo! I’m not buying s*** from this homo shop!”

The awesome owner comes out of the backroom:

Owner: “Good, get out! We don’t want your money! Piss off!” 

The customer stormed out, got in his car, and gunned it, screeching out of the carpark and screaming out his window about how no one should go to this shop because it’s a “homo shop.”

I turned to the cashier and both of us just had “What the f***?” expressions on our faces.

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Cheap Sparkling Entitlement

, , , , , | Right | February 4, 2021

I work for a family-owned chain of liquor stores in Texas. It’s the day before Thanksgiving, and we’ll be closed the next day due to Texas liquor laws. I’m the wine department lead; one of my coworkers comes up to me to ask me to help a customer that’s looking for wine.

Me: “Hello, sir, what can I help you find today?”

Customer: “Yeah, I need a case of this [Sweet, Cheap Sparkling Wine]. You’re supposed to have a case set aside at all times for [Customer], but you never have it!”

I’ve never seen this man in my life, and we’ve never had a standing order for this wine since I’ve been working at this location.

Me: “Let me check our inventory for you, sir.”

We only have three bottles at my location, but another of our locations less than ten minutes away shows that they have two full cases.

Me: “I’m so sorry, sir, but you’ve got the only three bottles we have in the store. [Other Location] has two cases, though, so they should be able to help you. Do you want me to call them and ask them to set nine more bottles aside? We can give you the case price at both locations.”

The customer has been rude up until this point, but he starts yelling in our packed store.

Customer: “I need those bottles, now! Here, not at [Other Location]! Call them and tell them to bring it to me!”

According to Texas liquor laws, we can’t transfer across the county line, and our other location isn’t in the same county as us — never mind the fact that our transfer trucks aren’t running during the third busiest day of the year for us.

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, but [Other Location] is in [County], so we can’t do a transfer. Even if we could, though, we wouldn’t be able to get it until next week.”

Customer: “You’ve just ruined my Thanksgiving! I HOPE YOU’RE HAPPY!”

He stormed off and complained about me to my store manager, who ended up checking him out. He got even angrier when my manager pointed out, cheerfully, that the other location was just a straight shot ahead, with only one turn.

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About To Be Rum-Punched Back To Reality

, , , , , , | Right | January 21, 2021

I’m standing in line at my local liquor store and see three young lads attempting to buy a carton of rum. 

Cashier: “I’m sorry, but I can’t sell this to you without seeing some form of ID.”

Customer #1: “Oh, yeah, sure.”

The customer hands over his license.

Cashier: “This says you’re only sixteen. I can’t sell you alcohol.”

Customer #1: “Oh, it’s just old. Can’t you accept it?”

Cashier: “Doesn’t matter how old it is; your birthday never changes.”

Customer #1: “All right, I got another way.”

He takes out his mobile phone and begins tapping, and then he holds it up to the cashier.

Customer #1: “See? It says you must be over eighteen to access this website. I hit this, and I’m in! I must be over eighteen!”

Cashier: “That doesn’t tell me your age. It just says to me that you know how to access an adult website. You need to leave now.”

The kids seemed really disappointed and left at that point.

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Their Wine Knowledge Is Not Grape

, , , | Right | December 15, 2020

I work at a chain liquor store in my state as a wine specialist.

Customer: “So what’s the difference between cabernets and merlots?”

I explain the differences between the two wines, like what they taste and smell like.

Customer: “No, what do they do differently so they’re called cabernet, or merlots, or chardonnay?”

Me: “Oh! That’s easy, ma’am; it depends on the grape used to make the wine.”

Customer: “But… all wine is made from grapes. So what do they do differently?”

Me: *Pause* “Ma’am, they use different grapes to make different wines. Cabernet, chardonnay, and merlot are different types of grapes.”

Customer: “There are more than two types of grapes?!”

I can’t tell you how loud I was screaming in my head.

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