The Vodka That Lasts For Ages

, , , , | Right | January 29, 2019

(I’ve been the only stocker working at a liquor warehouse for almost a year. I am very familiar with our stock and I know which liquors we have and which ones we don’t. The cashiers are not so knowledgeable about our inventory and nine times out of ten they will need to ask me over the radio whether or not we have a certain liquor in stock for a customer. It is also not uncommon for customers to ignore my answer and to go around asking every other employee in the store if we have a certain liquor after I have already told them that we don’t. I always know when they do this because I will be asked the same question on the radio several minutes later.)

Customer #1: “Hi, do you have [Vodka]?”

Me: “No, we don’t.”

Customer #1: “Really?”

Me: “Really…”

Customer #1: “Okay, then.”

(Five minutes pass and the same customer comes up to me.)

Customer #1: “Hi, do you have… Oh, never mind. I already asked you.”

Me: *slight smirk* “Yeah…” *keeps walking*

(Another five minutes pass and a cashier comes up to me, escorting [Customer #1], who is now accompanied by a [Customer #2], in order to find [Vodka], which I have already made clear that we don’t have.)

Cashier: “Where is the [Vodka]?”

Customer #1: “I already asked him. He said you don’t have it.”

Me: *look of total and complete frustration*

Customer #2: “Ooh, look at his face!”

Cashier: “I know we have it! I’ve seen it in here before. Where is it?”

Me: “We don’t have it.”

Cashier: “I know we have it! I’ve seen it before.”

Customer #2: “Here, I’ll show you a picture.” *pulls up picture of [Vodka] on their phone*

Me: *glances at picture* “We don’t have it.”

(The cashier then takes [Customers #1 & #2] over to the vodka aisle, where she attempts to find [Vodka] which we do not sell. Several minutes later…)

Cashier: *over the radio* “Uh… does anyone know if we have [Vodka]?”

Me: *no response; mind blown*

(The customers left without their vodka.)

Asking For IDs Shouldn’t Be Foreign To Him

, , , | Right | December 15, 2018

(I work in a popular west coast liquor store chain, and I am working at the main register. In my state, we must ID the entire group if they all appear under 40, with the exception of it being a parent and child. A couple comes up to the register.)

Me: “Just this for you today?”

Female Customer: “Yes.”

Me: “Okay. May I see your IDs, please?”

(She hands me hers without question. I check it, scan it, and hand it back.)

Me: “Sir, may I see yours?”

Male Customer: “I’m not buying anything; you don’t need to see my ID.”

Me: “Our state laws require that I card everyone in the group.”

Male Customer: “That’s bulls**t! Fine! I’m not with her!”

Me: “Doesn’t work that way, sir. I’ve seen you with her, so I know you’re with her.”

Male Customer: “Whatever! Fine! I’ll buy this [Chocolate Bar], separate from her.”

Me: “Sir, now my company policy requires me to ID you. You must be 21 to purchase anything in here.”

Male Customer: “F***! Fine! Here!”

(He finally hands me his ID, and I immediately cringe. It’s a foreign ID. We can accept these, but since most of them don’t scan, like his, we must call over a manager to check the ID. I see my manager less than 20 feet from me, so this won’t take long.)

Me: “All right, sir I am allowed to accept this; however, I just have to call over my manager to check it. It won’t—”

Male Customer: “Just give it back to me, you f***! We’ll buy it somewhere else!”

(They walk out without buying anything.)

Me: *to the next customer in line* “He was nice.”

(Is This The Way To) Amaretto?

, , , , , | Working | December 13, 2018

(I walk into the liquor store and see two clerks on the floor chatting about stock.)

Me: “Excuse me. Do you know where I would find Amaretto?”

Both Clerks: *in unison* “Yes.”

Me: “…”

Both Clerks: “…”

(I walked away to find it myself.)

Sober, But Lighter On Sanity

, , , | Right | November 14, 2018

(A sober, middle-aged woman brings a pint of vermouth to the register.)

Me: “Hello there. That will be $6.49.”

Woman: *holds out a used lighter from her purse*

Me: *knowing this is not a lighter from our store and that she is not trying to purchase it* “Umm, that will be $6.49.”

Woman: *gestures that she insists I take the lighter*

Me: “Will that be cash, check, or credit?”

Woman: *looks at the lighter, then at me, and gestures again*

Me: “I’m sorry, we don’t take lighters here.”

Woman: *holds lighter and waits, and then leaves store without bottle, but keeps the lighter*

Me: “???”

The Mother Of All Fake IDs

, , , , | Right | November 12, 2018

(I work in a liquor store.)

Me: “Can I see your ID, please?”

Customer: “Sure.”

(He hands me his driver’s license.)

Me: “You’re not 21. I can’t sell to you, I’m sorry.”

Customer: “Oh, I gave you the wrong one.”

(He takes the license back and hands me a different one. Curious why he would think this would work, I take a good look at the second ID: different birthday, different name, different picture. Then, I realize…)

Me: “Is this your mother?”

(I didn’t sell to him.)

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