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Can’t Mask These Lies

, , , , , , , | Right | June 23, 2022

Our liquor store is run by the provincial government. As employees of a Crown corporation and members of a union, we tend to have a little more leeway than your average retail worker to tell an unreasonable customer to get wrecked.

We have a few customers who don’t want to or can’t wear a mask, and they follow our accommodations. They come in, go to the customer service desk, and request what they want. An employee gets it for them while they wait in a low-traffic area, and they’re rung up quickly.

However, there is one customer who regularly waits until no employees are watching the door, comes in sans mask, and tries to come through the line as normal. If he’s called on it, he argues about how masks are “just recommended” until the person ringing him up gives in, banking on the fact that we’d all rather get him out of there as quickly as possible than have a fight with some a**hole.

One evening, however, I’ve had enough of his stupid, smug face. I’m the only person on till, and the only other person on the floor is my manager, over at customer service. I look up, see the customer’s bare face, and say:

Me: “Sir, you know our policy perfectly well. If you’re not wearing a mask, you may be denied service.”

Customer: “I’m exempt.”

Me: “We have accommodations for people who are exempt. Please wait by customer service and you will be helped. Next customer, please.”

Customer: “Yeah, well, I’m here now, so why don’t you just ring me up?”

Me: “No. Next customer, please!”

Customer: “What?”

Me: “If you wait by customer service, you will be helped. I will not ring you up here.”

Customer: “This isn’t a big deal.”

Me: “Oh, good. I’m glad you agree. Next, please!”

Customer: “No! You have to serve me!”

Me: “Yes, we must provide service to you. It’s available at the desk to your right. Please wait there to be helped. Next customer! Sir, please move out of this person’s way so I can help them.”

Customer: “I don’t understand why you aren’t just helping me here.”

Me: “Perhaps my manager can explain it to you?”

Customer: “Yes! I want to speak to your manager.”

Me: “Great. She’s at customer service.”

Gotta Have Something To Do When You’re Snowed In

, , , , , , , | Working | June 22, 2022

Back in the 1970s, I was in the local shopping plaza to pick up food as a snowstorm had started.

I heard this conversation take place.

Beauty Salon Owner: “I’m going to close up now. How about you?”

Liquor Store Owner: “Lady, I can’t close. I’m a public service!”

No ID, No Idea, Part 48

, , , | Right | June 3, 2022

To buy alcohol at the alcohol monopoly (a chain of state-owned liquor stores in Sweden), you need to be able to provide a valid ID that proves you’re at least twenty years old. The cashiers don’t card everyone, but if they think the customer might be under thirty, they ask for ID just to be safe. There are signs in every store informing customers of this.

To avoid any confusion: it doesn’t matter if you’re twenty-five or eighty, if the cashier asks for ID and you can’t provide one, you don’t get your booze, regardless of age or appearance. It’s unusual for them to ask for ID when you look like you’re over a certain age, but sometimes they have information drives where they ask everyone, so I’ve learned to always have my ID with me when I want to buy alcohol.

I stop by the alcohol monopoly on my way home from work to buy a bottle of wine. I end up waiting in line behind a customer who looks to be in her late twenties or early thirties, but I can’t tell for sure, and it’s obvious the cashier can’t, either, because she asks:

Cashier: “May I see your ID, please?”

Customer: “What? No, I don’t have ID. I’m thirty-five.”

Cashier: “I need to see ID to verify that.”

Customer: “I don’t have ID. You have to see that I’m over twenty! I have an eighteen-year-old daughter, for God’s sake.”

Cashier: “I’m sorry, but I can’t sell to you. If you want to go and get your ID, I’ll hold your purchases for you.”

Customer: “Didn’t you hear what I said? I don’t have ID! It expired! I’m thirty-five! I have an eighteen-year-old daughter!”

Cashier: “I don’t care how old your daughter is. If you can’t show me a valid ID, I can’t sell to you.”

Customer: “Can’t you see I’m older than twenty? Am I supposed to take that as a compliment?”

Cashier: “You may take it however you wish, but it’s very difficult to tell someone’s age from looks alone. That’s why we ask for ID.”

Customer: “Well, I don’t have ID, and I’m thirty-five! I’m the customer here and you’re being very rude!”

Cashier: “If you don’t have ID, I can’t sell to you. I’m sorry. Next, please.”

The cashier takes the customer’s items aside to be put back while the customer stays in the checkout area ranting about how rude the cashier is. I walk up and put my bottle of wine on the conveyor belt. I’m in my forties and I look it, so the cashier initially doesn’t ask me for ID.

Customer: “You need to card her! You carded me; why won’t you card her? This is discrimination! I bet she doesn’t have any ID, either!”

Cashier: *To me* “Sorry for the wait. Do you happen to have your ID?”

Me: “Yes, I do, since I was planning to buy wine today. Here it is.”

Cashier: “Thank you. That seems to be in order. Have a good day.”

Me: “You, too.”

I take my wine and leave, while the customer who could not provide valid ID stays in the lobby whining to anyone who might want to listen about how rude the cashier is and how she is being discriminated against. I stop by the ice cream store next door to have a treat, and while I’m sitting there, I notice the customer leaving the store in a huff, walking up to a car, and driving off.

I finish my ice cream and pop back into the liquor store.

Me: “Hi, I don’t know if you noticed, but the lady from before who didn’t have valid ID just got into a car and drove away. She might not have a valid driver’s licence.”

Cashier: “Yes, we know. We already called the police. She does this all the time.”

No ID, No Idea, Part 47
No ID, No Idea, Part 46
No ID, No Idea, Part 45
No ID, No Idea, Part 44
No ID, No Idea, Part 43

The Winiest Customers

, , , | Right | April 1, 2022

I worked at a liquor store that sold wine. People often wanted help finding wine. Some of these people were happy to have help. Others didn’t want a lowly service worker knowing more than them. Those people would demand wines that didn’t exist — i.e. a red Pinot Grigio or a sweet chardonnay — or they’d confuse brand with wine variety.

My favorite was when they’d say they had this wine someplace and give me a vague description of the wine and expect me to know it. I hated having to deal with them because they were always short with us, and they’d belittle us and whine about how we didn’t help them.

I also loved the situations where they’d gotten wine as a gift. They knew nothing about the wine they were buying, but they complained about every suggestion based on what they told us.

And then, there was this customer.

Customer: “I’d like to buy my friend a nice Pinot Noir for under $15.”

I offered her a selection of wines.

Customer: *Angry* “Why are you showing me cheap wines?! I want to buy your budget fine wines!

Obscure, Obtuse, And Annoying

, , | Right | CREDIT: orcaluna | March 4, 2022

About five or ten minutes before closing, a lady comes into the liquor store. That’s generally enough time for most people to grab what they need and get out, so I let her browse for a few minutes. I don’t usually mind letting people finish up for a few minutes if we lock the door and don’t let anyone else in.

Me: “Do you need help finding anything?”

Customer: “I’m just browsing.”

Me: “Okay, it’s just that we close at 11:00.”

Customer: “Well, your sign was on!”

Me: “Yes, because we were open when you walked in, but now, we are about to close.”

Customer: “I’m looking for a wine my daughter had with an obscure label.”

That could be anything.

Me: “Okay, can you be more specific? Do you know what style it was? What country?”

Customer: “No. I think the label might be [colour].”

Me: “Okay, I’m sorry, but I don’t know what that could be. If you know of anything you’d like, I can still check you out before we close.”

Customer: *In an annoyed tone* “Well, never mind, then. I just assumed you were open because you had the sign on.”

Okay, lady. Yes, we were open, and now, we are closing. You are also very vague, and I have no idea out of hundreds of wines which one with an “obscure label” by your standard is the one your daughter had.