Here’s A Tip: Bring Your Own Money To The Store

, , , , | Right | CREDIT: Harl0t_Qu1nn | April 17, 2021

I work at a liquor store. This guy comes in and tries to buy a $10 bottle of beer. This dude never has enough when he comes in, and the first couple of times, I’d throw in the extra bit he needed, but, dude… you gotta have the money to pay for things.

Me: “I need $4 more or I can’t sell to you.”

This dude picked up my tip jar, dumped out the money in there, and tried to give it to me as payment.

I was flabbergasted. I haven’t seen him since but I still think about that on a daily basis.

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This Flavor Isn’t Grape

, , , | Right | March 13, 2021

I work at a chain liquor store in my state as a wine specialist.

Customer: “Hi, I’m looking for a nice red wine that doesn’t have any added flavors to it.”

I am slightly confused but go along with it.

Me: “Added flavors, sir?”

Customer: “Yeah, I don’t want one of those wines that talk about added flavors of, like, coffee, or berry, or leather. Just regular red wine.”

Me: “Sir, there are very few wines that we have that have any kind of ‘added flavors-’ — just three in our store, in fact.”

Customer: “Then what makes it taste like things other than grapes if they don’t add them in?!”

Me: “Sir? Those flavors happen naturally, not by adding a flavoring in.”

Customer: “So, wine doesn’t taste like red or green grapes?”

It was SO hard to retain my retail smile. Luckily, I got paged by someone else who needed help, and I was able to bite my tongue and leave.

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Mr. Bojangles Novo Is Our New Hero

, , , , , | Right | March 8, 2021

I’m the wine department lead for a mid-sized store that’s part of a huge family-owned liquor chain in Texas. I’ve only been at this store for maybe six months, but I’ve been with the company for nearly seven years, and not only am I the only employee in the wine department, but I’m the only one of the fourteen of us in store, including managers, that knows anything about wine.

I should also note that I look about nineteen, even though I’m in my late twenties and have been working for the company since I turned twenty-one.

During my time with the company, I’ve heard people butcher the names of wines in all sorts of ways. I’ve had people ask for “peanut gringos” (Pinot grigios), “crabernets” (cabernets), and many more. This one takes the cake, though. It’s about a week before Christmas. The week before Thanksgiving, we got a wine in that we get once a year; it’s a hot ticket item for this time of year. The wine is traditionally, at least in the US, drunk with Thanksgiving dinner.

Customer: “Hi! I’m looking for a bottle of Bojangles Novo.”

I have no idea what the customer is talking about, but it could be a brand I’ve never heard of.

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, I don’t think I’ve heard of that before. Could you tell me what kind of wine it is, so I can look it up in our system?”

Customer: *Quickly becoming irate* “Are you stupid or something?! I’m looking for Bojangles Novo! That wine that comes out once a year?! The one that is supposed to be made from the first crop of wine grown this year?! God! I thought [Company] hired people that knew what they were talking about! They’re going to end up getting shut down by [Nationwide Competitor] at this rate!”

Me: *Quickly realizing* “Sir, do you mean Beaujolais Nouveau?” *bee-zhu-lay new-vo*

Customer: “No! It’s Bojangles, and it’s only released the week before Thanksgiving!”

I give up and shows the customer the two bottles of Beaujolais Nouveau I have left

Customer: “Yes, that’s it! You really need to have one of the more senior employees teach you about wine if you’re going to be stocking the department.”

Me: *Internal screaming*

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Has Some Serious Bag Baggage, Part 7

, , , , | Right | March 1, 2021

The company I work for has recently decided to go completely bagless. It can be a little inconvenient, but for the most part, no one’s really cared all that much. Today while I’m working the till, a customer walks up with two six-packs of beer.

Me: “Would you like a cardboard flat to carry it out in?”

Customer: “No, just a bag is fine.”

Me: “Oh, sorry. We don’t have bags anymore.”

Customer: “Seriously?! So, if I come in and buy three bottles of wine, am I just supposed to put them in my pockets?!”

Me: “We have flats and boxes, and we sell reusable wine totes for $1.”

Customer: “Then I guess I’d better find somewhere else to shop.” *Storms out*

Me: “…okay?”

Related:
Has Some Serious Bag Baggage, Part 6
Has Some Serious Bag Baggage, Part 5
Has Some Serious Bag Baggage, Part 4
Has Some Serious Bag Baggage, Part 3
Has Some Serious Bag Baggage, Part 2

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Homo Defectus

, , , , | Right | February 15, 2021

I’m a customer in this story. I don’t live in the best part of town but I have a good relationship with many local store owners. I get to the counter just behind another customer. He has a four-pack of mixed drinks, which he holds in his hands instead of putting on the counter. The cashier reaches out to get them to scan, and the guy loses it.

Customer: “What the f***?! You touched my hand! Don’t touch me, you homo! I don’t want those; I’m not buying anything from this homo shop!”

The cashier thinks the guy is making some off-colour joke and gives a half-hearted laugh.

Customer: “Why are you laughing?! What is wrong with you, you homo?! Everyone in this shop is a f****** homo! I’m not buying s*** from this homo shop!”

The awesome owner comes out of the backroom:

Owner: “Good, get out! We don’t want your money! Piss off!” 

The customer stormed out, got in his car, and gunned it, screeching out of the carpark and screaming out his window about how no one should go to this shop because it’s a “homo shop.”

I turned to the cashier and both of us just had “What the f***?” expressions on our faces.

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