You Don’t Need A Six-Pack To Smile

, , , , , , | Working | March 4, 2019

(I am in a liquor store purchasing some items for me and my fiancée. We have been on a hard iced tea kick lately, and the store has a “make your own six pack” special going. I build a six pack and also grab two boxes of packaged drinks. The cashier looks to be a man in his late forties or early fifties. The economy has been terrible in my province lately, and I speculate to myself that he’s been laid off from a previous job and has taken this to make ends meet.)

Cashier: “Hi there. How are you today?”

Me: “Fine, thanks. How are you?”

Cashier: “Oh, not too bad. This is everything for you?”

Me: “Yes, thanks.”

(He picks up one of the sealed packaged boxes, scans it, sets it to the side, and then notices my pick-your-own set. He immediately looks nervous.)

Cashier: “Oh, I’m so sorry. I’m not totally sure why, but we’re supposed to scan those ones first; I think it’s so you get the discount. I’ll need a supervisor to start the transaction again.”

Me: “No problem.”

(The cashier tries to flag down the supervisor on duty, who is chatting with other customers, assumedly family or friends as she is holding their baby and they are all laughing. She is totally oblivious that the cashier needs her.)

Cashier: “I’m so sorry. I’m new and I don’t have the authority to override.”

Me: “It’s no problem, really.”

(He keeps waving and calling her. Still no response. He turns to me looking nervous.)

Me: “I have nowhere else to be. Honestly, it’s okay.”

(Finally, the supervisor notices the line not moving. She comes over and voids the transaction so he can start again.)

Cashier: “Thanks for your patience. Some of these systems just… They’re a bit difficult.”

Me: “New jobs are always tough. You’re doing great. Thank you for making sure I got my discount. I hope to see you again!”

Cashier: “Thank you so much. Have a great day.”

(The poor guy. I wonder if other customers had been hard on him or if he was just nervous that he would do a poor job. A job is a job these days; I commend anyone who has to take a less paying job to make ends meet after being laid off. I hope he’s had a better experience since that day!)

What Is In That Beer And How Do We Get Some?

, , , , | Right | March 2, 2019

(I work in a bottle shop in a suburb posh enough to be somewhat isolated. People can be a little uptight around here, so my being naturally chatty and friendly seems to break down some barriers. It has been a slow winter’s night, especially as I’m the only one working. A man walks in as I’m trying to find something to listen to on the radio. He seems stone-cold sober. He walks up to the counter with a pricey bottle of European beer. As I’m ringing him up, I start chatting.)

Me: “Gosh, there’s absolutely nothing on the radio!”

Customer: “Oh, mate, is there ever anything on the TV, either?”

Me: “Not at the moment.”

(I refer to a TV used to advertise specials in the store, currently turned off, thinking that this guy will give some good banter. The joke goes way over his head.)

Customer: “You see, the government, right, they just want to dumb you down like… with what’s on the radio and stuff… like, what they want to do is, like, they can’t go door to door, right?”

(While not as passionate about what he is trying to say, the guy is… interesting, to say the least. He seems pretty eloquent, so I coax more out of him.)

Me: “Like… with what we watch?”

Customer: “Yeah, with, like, what’s on the TV and the radio. They just want to dumb us down. It’s not like they can go door to door dumbing us one by one, so they, like…”

Me: *still weirdly interested* “They, like… target the whole collective?”

Customer: “Yeah, exactly… You have a good night.”

(He walked out of the store. I heard the bottle cap of the expensive beer bottle clink to the ground, and he walked off. I sat dumbfounded for a minute, unsure why exactly the government wants to dumb us down, or how I triggered that exchange.)

The Vodka That Lasts For Ages

, , , , | Right | January 29, 2019

(I’ve been the only stocker working at a liquor warehouse for almost a year. I am very familiar with our stock and I know which liquors we have and which ones we don’t. The cashiers are not so knowledgeable about our inventory and nine times out of ten they will need to ask me over the radio whether or not we have a certain liquor in stock for a customer. It is also not uncommon for customers to ignore my answer and to go around asking every other employee in the store if we have a certain liquor after I have already told them that we don’t. I always know when they do this because I will be asked the same question on the radio several minutes later.)

Customer #1: “Hi, do you have [Vodka]?”

Me: “No, we don’t.”

Customer #1: “Really?”

Me: “Really…”

Customer #1: “Okay, then.”

(Five minutes pass and the same customer comes up to me.)

Customer #1: “Hi, do you have… Oh, never mind. I already asked you.”

Me: *slight smirk* “Yeah…” *keeps walking*

(Another five minutes pass and a cashier comes up to me, escorting [Customer #1], who is now accompanied by a [Customer #2], in order to find [Vodka], which I have already made clear that we don’t have.)

Cashier: “Where is the [Vodka]?”

Customer #1: “I already asked him. He said you don’t have it.”

Me: *look of total and complete frustration*

Customer #2: “Ooh, look at his face!”

Cashier: “I know we have it! I’ve seen it in here before. Where is it?”

Me: “We don’t have it.”

Cashier: “I know we have it! I’ve seen it before.”

Customer #2: “Here, I’ll show you a picture.” *pulls up picture of [Vodka] on their phone*

Me: *glances at picture* “We don’t have it.”

(The cashier then takes [Customers #1 & #2] over to the vodka aisle, where she attempts to find [Vodka] which we do not sell. Several minutes later…)

Cashier: *over the radio* “Uh… does anyone know if we have [Vodka]?”

Me: *no response; mind blown*

(The customers left without their vodka.)

Asking For IDs Shouldn’t Be Foreign To Him

, , , | Right | December 15, 2018

(I work in a popular west coast liquor store chain, and I am working at the main register. In my state, we must ID the entire group if they all appear under 40, with the exception of it being a parent and child. A couple comes up to the register.)

Me: “Just this for you today?”

Female Customer: “Yes.”

Me: “Okay. May I see your IDs, please?”

(She hands me hers without question. I check it, scan it, and hand it back.)

Me: “Sir, may I see yours?”

Male Customer: “I’m not buying anything; you don’t need to see my ID.”

Me: “Our state laws require that I card everyone in the group.”

Male Customer: “That’s bulls**t! Fine! I’m not with her!”

Me: “Doesn’t work that way, sir. I’ve seen you with her, so I know you’re with her.”

Male Customer: “Whatever! Fine! I’ll buy this [Chocolate Bar], separate from her.”

Me: “Sir, now my company policy requires me to ID you. You must be 21 to purchase anything in here.”

Male Customer: “F***! Fine! Here!”

(He finally hands me his ID, and I immediately cringe. It’s a foreign ID. We can accept these, but since most of them don’t scan, like his, we must call over a manager to check the ID. I see my manager less than 20 feet from me, so this won’t take long.)

Me: “All right, sir I am allowed to accept this; however, I just have to call over my manager to check it. It won’t—”

Male Customer: “Just give it back to me, you f***! We’ll buy it somewhere else!”

(They walk out without buying anything.)

Me: *to the next customer in line* “He was nice.”

(Is This The Way To) Amaretto?

, , , , , | Working | December 13, 2018

(I walk into the liquor store and see two clerks on the floor chatting about stock.)

Me: “Excuse me. Do you know where I would find Amaretto?”

Both Clerks: *in unison* “Yes.”

Me: “…”

Both Clerks: “…”

(I walked away to find it myself.)

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