I’m trying to help an older customer reset a password and sign back in to their email account. After going through the steps, I inform the customer of what their new password is.

Me: “Your password is [some letters, some numbers] with an exclamation mark at the end.”

Customer: “Sorry, what’s that?”

Me: “Passwords with [Company] need to have a mix of letters, numbers, and another symbol. So yours is [letters, numbers], exclamation mark.”

Customer: “Sorry, what’s the last thing?”

Me: “An exclamation mark.”

Customer: “What’s an exclamation mark?”

Me: “It’s the symbol just above the number one on your keyboard.”

Customer: “Oh, okay, thank you. I’m sorry I wasn’t brought up around computers.”

I did get the customer signed back in, and they left satisfied. But it honestly took me a second to process what had just happened.

To the best of my knowledge, exclamation marks are just a basic part of the English language and have existed since long before computers. I’ve helped plenty of customers to reset passwords, but this was the first time I’ve had to play the role of an English teacher in the process.

I used to work for a delivery company where drivers are given shared handheld devices to help them navigate/scan deliveries. My role is to assist with any issues they may have. A lot of the issues are how to navigate the user interface. 

I receive a call from a user saying his device isn’t working and is non-functional. I run through the usual checklist: does it have power, is it charging, etc. It seems the device is bricked and unresponsive, so I ask him to bring it up to us, as he is still on site.

The user arrives, visibly irate and concerned that he was going to be running late all day. I ask for the device. Taking the back off, I notice the water tab is coloured and the entire device has a stodgy, sticky, sweet-smelling gunk inside.

Me: “Have you put any liquid into this device?”

User: “No. However, if you people would do your jobs, then I wouldn’t have to be doing this basic maintenance.”

Me: *Puzzled.* “What maintenance have you performed?”

User: “Refilling the WIFI, of course! The last driver must have used it all, and you haven’t refilled it.”

At this moment, I have to stifle a laugh, quickly moving behind my monitor until my composure returns.

Me: *Cautiously.* “What did you refill it with?”

User: “Probably not the same brand you use, because as not long after the thing turned off.”

I asked to see what he filled it with, he produces a bottle that I was quite familiar with. It was a 30ml dripper bottle of vape juice. It was in a non-branded bottle, probably left onsite by a previous driver.

Now it all makes sense. He has squeezed the juice into the device’s headphone jack and soaked all the internal components.

I made him aware of the company charge statement (liable for full cost) regarding damage to a device, to which the user was arguing with me, adamant that he has not done anything wrong. I brought his manager in to help explain, they asked about his home devices, to which he says his wife and kids look after the WIFI levels.

I work tech support for a company. One of our users calls in:

Me: “Hello, this is [My Name], what can I help you with today?”

Caller: “Hi, this is [Caller]. I can’t get to my email. It says I need a password all of a sudden.”

Me: “Okay, I’m showing we migrated you to [new system] this morning.”

This is after copious notifications.

Me: “Are you having this problem on a company laptop or phone?”

Caller: “Phone. I don’t have a company computer.”

Me: “Okay, please delete the account from your phone, and then we can re-add it.”

Caller: “Okay, I’ve deleted my account, but when I go to re-add it, it’s still asking me for a password.”

Me: “Do you not remember your password?”

Caller: “That’s my problem…”

Me: “Okay, I have reset your password to ChangeThis1. The C and the T are capitalized, so the first letter of each word, and it is a number one at the end.”

Caller: “It says my password is incorrect.”

Me: “Can you tell me exactly what you put for the password?”

Caller: “Capital C, Capital T.”

Me: “No, the password is two words, Change This one and the first letter of each word is capitalized.”

Caller: “Oh okay, so capital C, capital H—”

Me: “—Nope, lowercase H.”

Caller: “I thought you just said it started with a C?”

Me: “Yes, capital C, lowercase H, lowercase A, N, G, E, Capital T, Lowercase h, i, s followed by the number 1, not spelled out.”

Caller: “It’s not working.”

Me: “Is there a computer I can remote into and demonstrate for you on the website, and we can change your password?”

Caller: “Yeah, my boss has a computer. Let me go get it.”

Time passes.

Caller: “Okay, I got his computer, but I can’t open it.”

Me: “It’s not logged in?”

Caller: “No, I can’t open it.”

Me: “I don’t know what you mean.”

Caller: “I can’t open it to get to the keyboard.”

Me: “Oh, is there a latch or something on the front? Then the screen should open up.”

Caller: “Well, the screen’s closed on the keyboard, but I can see the screen like it’s on backward.”

Caller’s Boss: *In the background.* “[Caller]… It’s a tablet.”

Me: *Mutes myself.* “Oh my f****** God.” *Unmutes.*

Caller: “How do y’all log into this if it doesn’t have a caps lock key?”

Me: “Is there a shift key?”

I was able to show the user how to log in and successfully change their password. They now have email on their phone again, but my faith in humanity is diminished…

I worked in a large organization’s tech support department in the early 2000s. Most users have to submit a ticket through the IT system to log their issues. I say ‘most’ because there is one woman, a secretary for some senior manager, who has never done this and never will. Due to her tenure in the company (she’s been here longer than anyone, even the senior manager she works for) and her stubborn refusal to ‘learn computers’, she is both a frequent user of our service and our least favorite.

I overhear my coworker pick up a call.

Coworker: “Hello, Janet.”

Pause.

Coworker: “It’s a simple button press on Outlook. The one that looks like the envelope.”

Pause.

Coworker: “I don’t have a tone, it’s just that you’ve been ‘about to learn Outlook’ longer than I’ve been alive.”

Pause.

Coworker: “Okay, so click on the envelope button.

Pause.

Coworker: “The envelope button.”

Pause.

Coworker: “The envelope button.”

Pause.

Coworker: “I’ll just come on over.”

He hangs up, sighs, and heads over. He’s back, a few minutes later.

Me: “How did it go?”

Coworker: “The fix took seconds once I took over. She moves her mouse like it’s an Ouija board, looking for answers…”

Caller: “Hey, I’ve turned on my computer, but all I see is a ‘VGA not connected’ message on my computer. The mouse and keyboard have no lights.”

Me: “Okay, it sounds like there is either a connection issue or a video issue. Can I get you to turn off your computer?”

Caller: “Okay, I pushed the button on my monitor and it’s off.”

Me: “That was your monitor and does not control your computer. If you have a desktop, it will be under your desk or if you have a laptop and docking station there is a button on the dock.”

Caller: “Well, I left my laptop at home, does that matter?”

Me: “Okay… do you have a desktop in your office?”

Caller: “Yes.”

Me: “Okay, then push and hold the button on the front of it for ten seconds, it should reset and turn on.”

Caller: “I usually have my laptop in my office… umm… I don’t see a desktop.”

Me: “So… you don’t have a desktop and only have a laptop… that’s currently at home?”

Caller: “Yes… Sooo… does that mean I cannot get on my computer?”

Me: *Smashed head on keyboard.* “Yes… you need your laptop in order to use your laptop.”

Caller: “OKAY, BYE!”

Just… wow.

Related:
Laptop Flop, Part 41
Laptop Flop, Part 40
Laptop Flop, Part 39
Laptop Flop, Part 38
Laptop Flop, Part 37