Closing That Window To Stupidity

, , , , , | Right | March 22, 2019

Customer: “Hi, my laptop seems frozen and there is this huge flag on the desktop?”

Me: “Did you try rebooting the computer?”

Customer: “No, let me reboot.”

(A minute passes.)

Customer: “Okay, now it’s working but the flag won’t go away.”

Me: “Please give me your asset number. I will connect to you remotely and take a look.”

(Customer provided the number, I connected remotely and took a look at his desktop.)

Me: “Sir, there’s nothing to worry about. That’s just the Windows logo on your wallpaper…”

Running Your Own Internal Diagnostic – AKA Crying

, , , | Right | March 19, 2019

(My boyfriend and I return from an out-of-town funeral to find that our Internet isn’t working. He calls to try and get it sorted out. Over the course of a week, they have him run through the over-the-phone diagnostics three separate times, and they fail to show up to two different appointments to come look at it after those diagnostics don’t work. Finally, it’s my turn to call. I am in the middle of the busiest time of year at work, working twelve-hour days and weekends. I call and explain the situation to the customer service representative.)

Me: “I just want to schedule another appointment.”

Customer Service Rep: *pulls up our account* “I see that there was one no-show service appointment, but the other one isn’t showing up at all.”

Me: “I assure you that the last representative that my boyfriend spoke to had confirmed that the appointment was in their system, and that their tech guy did not show up.”

(I’ve already had a rough day, but I’m trying to remain polite while going through all this, but she doesn’t seem to be listening.)

Customer Service Rep: “I’ll need to run through the over-the-phone diagnostics with you.”

Me: “We have been dealing with this for several days now, we’ve already run through the diagnostics multiple times, and it’s been established that we do, in fact, need someone to come out and look at it in person.”

(This does not deter her at all; for the next five or so minutes we go back and forth, her insisting on the diagnostics, me explaining that we already know that we are past that point, that it should reflect that in our account, and that I just want to make a service appointment. I am exhausted and drained physically and emotionally, and eventually, I reach a breaking point while she’s trying to get me to run the diagnostics:)

Customer Service Rep: “Okay, ma’am, but if you’ll just run through these diagnostics first so that we can rule out any of these problems—“

Me: “Please, I’m begging you. We have already done them. We know we need someone to come out. I just want to schedule another appointment.”

Customer Service Rep: “I understand. So, let’s first run through these—“

Me: *bursts into tears, attempting to talk while obviously crying* “You know what? Never mind. I’ll try calling later.” *hangs up*

(A minute later my phone rings:)

Customer Service Rep: “Hello, [My Name]? This is [Customer Service Rep] with [Company], and I believe we were just speaking on the phone?”

Me: *somewhat recovered from crying* “Yes, hi. Sorry about hanging up; I just wanted to call another time.”

Customer Service Rep: “Right. Well, I just wanted to make sure that you were okay.”

Me: “Yeah, I’m fine. Thank you for asking. I just got a little upset. I’ll try calling a different time when I’m not as stressed.”

Customer Service Rep: “I understand, ma’am. But let’s just get that appointment scheduled for you while you’re here…”

(My boyfriend teased me for months about crying on the phone with a customer service rep, but we got our Internet fixed! I still make him call most of the time, though.)

Online On The 24th Of July Only

, , , , | Working | March 18, 2019

(I want to “chat” with someone at my major cell phone carrier, so I go to their “contact” page. There is no live link for chat; it is grayed out. Quoting the page:)

Message: “Chat — We are online 24/7. If we aren’t available, please check back later.”

(Okay, so… when am supposed to check back? Maybe the 25th hour of the 8th day of the week?)

Only Feed The Trolls Their Own Medicine

, , , , | Right | March 12, 2019

(A chat comes in from Turkey, which raises flags right away as we only have services in the US. This “customer” establishes themselves immediately as a troll. They say not to feed them, but a kick in the troll’s shorts, closing chat, and banning them for life seems better.)

Me: “Welcome to [local ISP]. How may I help you?”

Customer: “STFU maybe?”

Me: “I am sorry; we don’t offer that.”

Customer: “Shut up, b****.”

Me: “I am sorry; we, again, don’t offer that. But if you check with your mother, I am sure she does.”

Customer: *closes the chat*

Me: *bans user until 2999*

Technician Needs To Find A New Calling

, , , , | Working | March 7, 2019

(We recently got a new phone system installed. Naturally, we had some starting problems. Day two, my phone suddenly stops working. It’s still able to make calls, but I can’t hear anything and the person I call can’t hear me, either. I go to the IT guys and ask for help.)

Tech: “Go back to your desk. I will call you to figure it out.”

(Took him some time to figure out why I was laughing.)

Page 1/16012345...Last