(I work in a pharmacy. We have to install an updated digital certificate into our dispensing software so that we can connect with the government’s healthcare software. My boss has provided me with a manilla folder with a set of instructions, the PIC — Personal Identification Code — code, and other related documents, and left me to it. The back end of our dispensing software is rather fiddly and complicated, so we’ve organised for our dispensing software’s tech support to call us and install the certificate remotely. This entire conversation takes place by phone.)

Tech: “Okay, you’ll need the PIC and the CD.”

Me: “What do you mean, CD?”

Tech: “As in the physical CD.”

Me: “I wasn’t told about a CD. Wouldn’t it be [file] that [Boss] downloaded and told me about?”

Tech: “No, it’s a physical CD. They should have sent you a CD with the letter with your PIC.”

(I shuffle through the manilla folder of documents that [Boss] gave me and pull out a CD labelled with the name of the government’s software.)

Me: “Okay, let’s try this.”

Tech: “Does it say [ACRONYM] on it?”

Me: “Yep.”

Tech: “That should be it, then.”

(I put the CD in and give the tech the PIC code.)

Tech: “It didn’t work. Are you sure it’s the right code?”

Me: *after double checking* “Well, that’s the code I was given.”

(Nevertheless, I hunt through the file and find two more CDs and two more codes, and we try them all, but none of them work. During all this, I notice that the tech is trying to open a file on the discs with the same unusual extension as the file my boss had downloaded.)

Me: “Are you sure it’s not [file] we’re supposed to be using rather than the CD?”

Tech: “No, there should be a CD.”

Me: “Why don’t we try it anyway, just in case?”

(We tried it, and, lo and behold, it worked! Cue my epic facepalm and fervent wish that I could get back the twenty minutes we’d wasted!)

(I work as an IT Support person, answering phone calls and emails about IT problems. We work remotely so we are never physically at a customer’s site.)

Me: “Hello. How can I help you?”

Caller: “Hello! Our printer won’t stop printing! Please help! It’s going through a lot of pages!”

Me: “Okay, can you tell me which computer the printer is connected to? Has the print queue been cleared?”

Caller: “I’m not sure. I think it might be PC1, but we’ve stopped it for the moment.”

Me: “No worries. I’ll connect. You say you’ve stopped the printer; have you unplugged the printer?”

Caller: “No, we’ve put a spoon in it.”

Me: “Sorry, you’ve put a what in it?!”

Caller: “A spoon! We jammed it in the front. The paper isn’t moving now… Was that bad?”

Me: “Well… To be honest, it’s not great…”

(I work in an IT support role for veterinary practices as we build their software and computers. I have a five-minute phone call setting up a machine, and during the call, I hear two things every ten to twenty seconds: a parrot squawk followed by the Samsung message alert whistle.)

Me: “I’ll just need a couple of minutes to finish this off.”

(Whistle!)

Me: “It should install quite quickly.”

Customer: “No problem. I can wait.”

(Squawk! Whistle!)

Me: “Sounds quite busy over there today!”

Customer: “I have ten minutes until I leave, and I am so looking forward to it.”

(Whistle!)

Me: “Oh, that’s good!”

Customer: “Yeah, the parrot is in for observation and will not shut up.”

(Whistle!)

Customer: “It’s not a phone you are hearing. It’s this d*** bird.”

Me: “Oh, my God…”

(Squawk!)

Customer: “Yep…” *sigh*

(Whistle!)

Customer: “He’s been here for two days! We’re about close to—“ *whistle* ”—KILLING HIM!”

(I couldn’t hit my mute button fast enough to burst out laughing!)

(I work for an IT company that provides Helpdesk support and other IT services to companies in our area. We manage the IT for roughly one hundred and fifty different organizations, including auto shops, animal hospitals, dentists, and police stations. This particular autoshop uses specialized software to bring up technical manuals for the cars they service and sell.)

Customer: “Yes, our [Tech Manual Software] has stopped working for everyone in the shop! This is a critical problem and needs to be resolved today!”

(I pushed aside my other tickets to make time to work for this one, as can’t work tickets take the highest priority in our schedules. I called within twenty minutes of the ticket being made, got his voice mail. Did not hear back from him for a full day.)

Customer: “You guys need to be faster! We haven’t been able to do anything in the shop and are losing business!”
Me: “I understand, sir. What seems to be the problem and I will get this fixed as soon as possible.”

(I remote in to his computer, so I can see what he sees.)

Customer: “Well, take a look. When I go into [Software] and select a make and model, we get our little PDF, but all the pages are missing!”
Me: “Ok, let me take a look.”

(I go back to the main menu of the program and see a giant flashing blue banner that says not to update Adobe Reader)

Me: “… Uh, did you happen to update Adobe Reader any time recently?”
Customer: “Yeah, why?”

(I had to sit on with the software company’s tech support for a good hour before I managed to get a tech who could locate the legacy version of Reader that worked with the program. Also, come to find out that only three of the six service computers had the issue. They could still work just fine.)

(I work as an IT tech in a school, taking care of everything involved. I maintain the servers and the LAN, but I also solve soft- and hardware problems, install new devices, etc. One day, I arrive at work and a teacher tells me that there’s a salesman waiting for me. I’m surprised because my work doesn’t include talking to salespeople. Since I don’t want to be rude, I go to tell him that he should see the principal if he wants to do business. I introduce myself to him and we have this conversation.)

Me: “Hi. You were looking for me?”

Salesman: “Yes, finally you’re here. Now, this is my problem: my laptop won’t start anymore and I need it because I have a meeting in an hour. So, start solving the problem.”

Me: “Sorry?”

Salesman: “My wife is Mrs. [Teacher], and she told me you’re good with computers and you could solve the problem. Now hurry up. You’re wasting my time.”

Me: “Well, mister, you can forget it. I’m not working on devices that don’t belong to the school. [Computer Shop] at [Street] probably can fix your problem. Bye.”

Salesman: *goes into a rage* “No! You’re going to fix it for me now or I’ll have you fired.”

Me: “Good luck with that. They are not going to fire me, and you’re not going to get your laptop fixed if you go on ranting while you should be driving to the computer shop.”

(The salesman wouldn’t listen and kept insisting that I had to repair his laptop. The principal came out of his office and told the guy to shut up and leave or he would personally escort him out of the building. The guy left. The teacher later told me that I was in the wrong for not helping her husband. I made it clear that I would have tried to help him for free if he had ASKED me, but I was not going to help someone who was ORDERING me to help him. I found out that he wasn’t a salesman but a business consultant, and that day he had a meeting with a new client. If he had gotten the job he would have earned big bucks. But he was late for the appointment and his laptop with his presentation on it wouldn’t start. The client didn’t hire him. I wonder why.)

Related:
Laptop Flop, Part 25
Laptop Flop, Part 24
Laptop Flop, Part 23