I work tech support for a company. One of our users calls in:
Me: “Hello, this is [My Name], what can I help you with today?”
Caller: “Hi, this is [Caller]. I can’t get to my email. It says I need a password all of a sudden.”
Me: “Okay, I’m showing we migrated you to [new system] this morning.”
This is after copious notifications.
Me: “Are you having this problem on a company laptop or phone?”
Caller: “Phone. I don’t have a company computer.”
Me: “Okay, please delete the account from your phone, and then we can re-add it.”
Caller: “Okay, I’ve deleted my account, but when I go to re-add it, it’s still asking me for a password.”
Me: “Do you not remember your password?”
Caller: “That’s my problem…”
Me: “Okay, I have reset your password to ChangeThis1. The C and the T are capitalized, so the first letter of each word, and it is a number one at the end.”
Caller: “It says my password is incorrect.”
Me: “Can you tell me exactly what you put for the password?”
Caller: “Capital C, Capital T.”
Me: “No, the password is two words, Change This one and the first letter of each word is capitalized.”
Caller: “Oh okay, so capital C, capital H—”
Me: “—Nope, lowercase H.”
Caller: “I thought you just said it started with a C?”
Me: “Yes, capital C, lowercase H, lowercase A, N, G, E, Capital T, Lowercase h, i, s followed by the number 1, not spelled out.”
Caller: “It’s not working.”
Me: “Is there a computer I can remote into and demonstrate for you on the website, and we can change your password?”
Caller: “Yeah, my boss has a computer. Let me go get it.”
Time passes.
Caller: “Okay, I got his computer, but I can’t open it.”
Me: “It’s not logged in?”
Caller: “No, I can’t open it.”
Me: “I don’t know what you mean.”
Caller: “I can’t open it to get to the keyboard.”
Me: “Oh, is there a latch or something on the front? Then the screen should open up.”
Caller: “Well, the screen’s closed on the keyboard, but I can see the screen like it’s on backward.”
Caller’s Boss: *In the background.* “[Caller]… It’s a tablet.”
Me: *Mutes myself.* “Oh my f****** God.” *Unmutes.*
Caller: “How do y’all log into this if it doesn’t have a caps lock key?”
Me: “Is there a shift key?”
I was able to show the user how to log in and successfully change their password. They now have email on their phone again, but my faith in humanity is diminished…