The Trashiest Customers In The World

, , , , | Right | January 20, 2019

(I am working at a popular coffee chain, and it is my turn to sweep the parking lot and pick up cigarette butts. A large truck pulls into the lot and stops in the parking space next to where I am working. The driver looks at me, cracks a smile as if he just thought of the best joke in the world, and dumps his ENTIRE car ashtray onto the ground.)

Man: “You missed a spot.”

Staying Past Closing Is A Severe Demerit

, , , , , | Right | January 18, 2019

(I work in a fast food restaurant. I am scheduled to work closing the night before school starts. Because I have an 8:00 am class, I am rushing to finish all of the closing procedures so I can leave at my scheduled time — 10:00 pm — when a group of young men comes in. Unfortunately for me, they all decide to sit in the dining room. The owner has installed cameras with audio, and listens to make sure we don’t tell customers to leave. He has had employees fired before for even hinting as such.)

Manager: “I know you need to be home soon, but don’t rush them.”

Me: “I hope they finish quickly; they’re wearing [University I attend] shirts.”

Manager: “Then maybe they’ll leave soon.”

(The young men eat quickly, but then they sit and watch videos on their phones. I wipe down tables around them, hearing that they are dorm students. After a half-hour, the manager checks on the dining room.)

Manager: “They’re still here?”

Me: *grudgingly* “Yesssss.”

Manager: “You’ve done everything else to close, right?”

Me: “Of course.”

Manager: “Just wait. Policy says we can’t tell them to leave.”

(Another two hours go by. It is now two and a half hours after our dining room is closed and two hours after I am supposed to get off. I still have to stay a half-hour after these customers leave to vacuum, so I am nearly in tears.)

Manager: “[My Name] what are you– They’re still here?!”

Me: “Yes. [Manager], I’m sorry, but I need to get home!”

Manager: “You’ve left the vacuum out to give them a hint, right?”

Me: “Of course! They even asked about it when they came up for a refill.”

Manager: “I’m sorry, I can’t tell them to leave. You know what [Owner] will say.”

Me: *gets a realization* “Actually, I know what to do.”

(My manager agrees to the plan, so she walks out to the dining room.)

Manager: “Hello, gentlemen. Still out celebrating your move in?”

Customer #1: “Yeah. School starts tomorrow, so it sucks.”

Manager: “Aw, that’s a shame. I was just talking to my employee; she also attends [University].”

(The customers start to look a little sheepish.)

Customer #2: “That’s cool.”

Customer #3: “Shame she’s out here still.”

Manager: “Don’t sweat it. Although, I have to confirm something she told me in the past, if you guys don’t mind. Is it true that [University] places severe demerits on your student profile if you’re not in your dorm before midnight?”

(The men all went wide-eyed and bolted out. Since it was past midnight and almost time for the drive-thru to close, as well, the manager made everyone help me vacuum the dining room. I got home only a few minutes before one in the morning. The store has since been bought by another company and that policy has been changed.)

I’ll Take My Coffee As Someone Else’s

, , , , | Right | January 17, 2019

(I have just finished taking two orders, the first being a younger man’s breakfast meal with a coffee, the second being just a small black coffee for an older man. At this restaurant, we leave the orders on the front counter for our customers to pick up. The younger customer’s food has just been put up, so I quickly make his coffee and put it on the tray to complete his order.)

Older Customer: *grabs coffee*

Me: “Oh, sir, that’s not your coffee. That one goes with this meal. Let me make yours real quick.”

Older Customer: “I don’t care. I want my coffee. Sucks for them.” *walks away*

Me: *baffled* “But sir… it’s not the right one.”

Younger Customer: “Did he just take my coffee?”

Me: “Uh, yeah. Sorry about that. I’ll make you a new one.”

Younger Customer: *laughing* “That’s so weird! Was it even the same kind?”

Me: “No! Yours has a bunch of cream and sugar in it, and his was supposed to be black! I guess he liked it, though?”

(At least he didn’t come back and tell me that “his” coffee was wrong!)

Doesn’t Float Their Boat

, , , , | Right | January 16, 2019

(I work at a popular fast food joint, and wasn’t trained before I started working. Because of that, I have to ask my coworkers quite a few questions about how to change what the combo drink or side is. A woman around fifty with her teenage son comes up to my till.)

Customer: “I’d like a [popular burger] combo with an ice cream float, please.”

(I’ve only been working for a few days, and I’m not sure that it is possible to include a float as a drink, so I pull my more knowledgeable coworker over to help me change the drink. We’re having the conversation loud enough for the woman to clearly hear that we’re changing the drink from a soda to a float, and she says nothing. Once her tray with her burger and float are out, anger ensues.)

Customer: “Hey, this isn’t what I ordered. I ordered a g**d***** burger combo with a float.”

Me: “Yes, that’s what I’ve given you.”

Customer: “F***! How f****** dumb can you be? I ordered a burger combo with a float.”

(The coworker who helped me process the order comes over to see what’s going on.)

Coworker: “Ma’am, what’s the problem?”


(Apparently, the woman wanted a burger combo with the regular soda and a float on the side. Never did she say anything about me changing what the drink was on her combo. About half an hour after she leaves, she comes back and hands me a dollar.)

Customer: “I’m sorry that I snapped, but I expect you to never f*** up my order again.”

(We never saw her again.)

Technically It’s Bee Vomit, But It’s Still Sweet

, , , , , , | Romantic | January 15, 2019

(My parents rarely show romantic affection towards one another, particularly out in public. We’re all in the family SUV, and we’ve just gone through the drive-thru at a fast food place when I notice my order’s not right.)

Me: “Oh, geez, they forgot the honey for my chicken nuggets.”

Dad: *pats Mom’s leg* “I’ve got my honey right here.”

Mom: “Aw, you’re so sweet!”

Dad: “Just like you; you’re my sweet bee s***.”

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