According To The French

, , , , , | Right | November 24, 2017

(I am a regular customer to this restaurant, which has paper menus. I am trying to order at the register when another customer walks up and interrupts me.)

Customer: *while holding one of the paper menus* “Do you have the menu in English?”

Employee: “That is an English menu, sir.”

Customer: “Oh.”

(The other customer walks off and I try to place my order again. However, before I can finish the same guy comes back again.)

Customer: “Are you sure this is English? What is this?”

(He points to a section on the menu that I can’t see.)

Employee: “That says, ‘a la carte.’ It’s English, sir.”

A Triple Threat

, , , , , , | Right | November 24, 2017

(I work at a fast food place. A customer comes up to the front counter.)

Me: “Hi, what can I do for you today?”

Customer: “I ordered a triple burger and you only gave me a double.”

(I have just gotten off my break.)

Me: “I’m so sorry. My coworker must have gotten the wrong order. May I see the burger?”

(He hands me the bag, which has a triple burger in it.)

Me: “Sir, that is the triple burger.”

(He huffs and walks away only to come back a minute later with the bag.)

Customer: “If it’s a triple burger, why does it only have two pieces of meat?”

Me: “May I see it?”

(Carefully, I grab the burger by the wrapper and open it up, using the wrapper, and count three.)

Me: “Sir, there are three.”

Customer: “What? Where?”

(I point and count out three, still holding it by the wrapper.)

Customer: “You just touched it! Why would you touch it?”

Me: “Sir, I was very careful; I only touched the wrapper.”

Customer: “Can I get a new one anyway?”

Me: “Of course, sir.”

(I took his food and threw it away and had a new burger made, so he wouldn’t get a second for free like he wanted.)

Time For Everyone To Go Home

, , , , , | Right | November 23, 2017

(One afternoon I am doing a bit of cleaning around the fast food restaurant where I work, getting ready for my shift to end, when a really weird customer comes up to the counter. He seems like he is drunk, or possibly high, and isn’t making much sense. My manager goes over to help him.)

Customer: “Phone?”

(My manager looks at him, confused. She has to talk to him a bit before she eventually figures out that the customer wants to use our company phone to call for a taxi to take him home. My manager eventually agrees to this and calls a cab company. However, when I get off my shift some time later, I find out that the taxi never arrived for some reason. I brush this off, clock out of work, and walk out to my car alone when I hear a voice behind me.)

Customer: “Hey, mister? Ten dollars.”

(I’m a woman, and I think this guy is about to mug me.)

Me: “Uh, sorry. I don’t have ten dollars.”

Customer: “No. I’ll give you ten dollars if you drive me to my house.”

Me: “No, thanks.”

Customer: “Twenty dollars.”

Me: “No.”

(The customer wanders back to the restaurant. I get in my car and am about to drive away when, suddenly, the tiny parking lot becomes packed with cars and I am trapped in the middle of it. I wait for the traffic jam to clear. Then I hear someone banging on my passenger side window. I nearly jump out of my skin and look over to see it is the drunk guy pounding on my door.)

Customer: “Please take me home.”

Me: “NO!”

(As soon as the parking lot cleared up, I raced home as fast as I possibly could.)

Won’t Amount To Anything

, , , | Working | November 22, 2017

(I’m the idiot in this story. An elderly customer comes to my till with a gift card.)

Customer: “Can you read this for me?”

Me: “Sure!” *turns the card over* “Which part would you like me to read?”

Customer: “The amount?”

Me: “…”

Customer: “…”

Me: “I’m really sorry; it’s been a long day…”

(At least we got a good laugh out of it!)

Save Your Money Or Save Yourselves

, , , , | Right | November 21, 2017

(I work a front counter position at a fast food restaurant. It’s breakfast time, and an older man walks up and orders a number nine combo with a senior coffee, which is half price, and a small orange juice.)

Me: “Okay, sir, that’s going to be [price].”

Customer: “Did you give me my senior discount?”

Me: “Yes, sir, and the only way I could do that was to put the orange juice with the meal.”

Customer: “But the coffee is supposed to be with the meal.”

Me: “Normally, yes, sir, it is but you have the orange juice, too, which means we can put that with the meal, give you the discount on the coffee, and it will be cheaper.”

Customer: *becomes violent* “GO GET YOUR MANAGER, YOU STUPID F***! YOU SHOULD KNOW BETTER THAN TO TRY AND PULL ONE OVER ON A CUSTOMER!”

(I go and get my manager, who has heard the whole thing, and she rings him up like he wanted.)

Manager: “Okay, sir, your total is [more expensive price].”

Customer: “Hey! That’s more expensive than before.”

Manager: “But that’s how you wanted it rung up, sir. My employee was trying to save you money.”

(He becomes violent again.)

Customer: “NEVER MIND! I’M NOT EATING HERE ANYMORE! F*** ALL OF YOU TRYING TO CHEAT ME OUT OF MY MONEY!”

Manager: “Have a nice day, sir.”

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