According To The French

, , , , , | Right | November 24, 2017

(I am a regular customer to this restaurant, which has paper menus. I am trying to order at the register when another customer walks up and interrupts me.)

Customer: *while holding one of the paper menus* “Do you have the menu in English?”

Employee: “That is an English menu, sir.”

Customer: “Oh.”

(The other customer walks off and I try to place my order again. However, before I can finish the same guy comes back again.)

Customer: “Are you sure this is English? What is this?”

(He points to a section on the menu that I can’t see.)

Employee: “That says, ‘a la carte.’ It’s English, sir.”

A Triple Threat

, , , , , , | Right | November 24, 2017

(I work at a fast food place. A customer comes up to the front counter.)

Me: “Hi, what can I do for you today?”

Customer: “I ordered a triple burger and you only gave me a double.”

(I have just gotten off my break.)

Me: “I’m so sorry. My coworker must have gotten the wrong order. May I see the burger?”

(He hands me the bag, which has a triple burger in it.)

Me: “Sir, that is the triple burger.”

(He huffs and walks away only to come back a minute later with the bag.)

Customer: “If it’s a triple burger, why does it only have two pieces of meat?”

Me: “May I see it?”

(Carefully, I grab the burger by the wrapper and open it up, using the wrapper, and count three.)

Me: “Sir, there are three.”

Customer: “What? Where?”

(I point and count out three, still holding it by the wrapper.)

Customer: “You just touched it! Why would you touch it?”

Me: “Sir, I was very careful; I only touched the wrapper.”

Customer: “Can I get a new one anyway?”

Me: “Of course, sir.”

(I took his food and threw it away and had a new burger made, so he wouldn’t get a second for free like he wanted.)

Time For Everyone To Go Home

, , , , , | Right | November 23, 2017

(One afternoon I am doing a bit of cleaning around the fast food restaurant where I work, getting ready for my shift to end, when a really weird customer comes up to the counter. He seems like he is drunk, or possibly high, and isn’t making much sense. My manager goes over to help him.)

Customer: “Phone?”

(My manager looks at him, confused. She has to talk to him a bit before she eventually figures out that the customer wants to use our company phone to call for a taxi to take him home. My manager eventually agrees to this and calls a cab company. However, when I get off my shift some time later, I find out that the taxi never arrived for some reason. I brush this off, clock out of work, and walk out to my car alone when I hear a voice behind me.)

Customer: “Hey, mister? Ten dollars.”

(I’m a woman, and I think this guy is about to mug me.)

Me: “Uh, sorry. I don’t have ten dollars.”

Customer: “No. I’ll give you ten dollars if you drive me to my house.”

Me: “No, thanks.”

Customer: “Twenty dollars.”

Me: “No.”

(The customer wanders back to the restaurant. I get in my car and am about to drive away when, suddenly, the tiny parking lot becomes packed with cars and I am trapped in the middle of it. I wait for the traffic jam to clear. Then I hear someone banging on my passenger side window. I nearly jump out of my skin and look over to see it is the drunk guy pounding on my door.)

Customer: “Please take me home.”

Me: “NO!”

(As soon as the parking lot cleared up, I raced home as fast as I possibly could.)

Won’t Amount To Anything

, , , | Working | November 22, 2017

(I’m the idiot in this story. An elderly customer comes to my till with a gift card.)

Customer: “Can you read this for me?”

Me: “Sure!” *turns the card over* “Which part would you like me to read?”

Customer: “The amount?”

Me: “…”

Customer: “…”

Me: “I’m really sorry; it’s been a long day…”

(At least we got a good laugh out of it!)

Save Your Money Or Save Yourselves

, , , , | Right | November 21, 2017

(I work a front counter position at a fast food restaurant. It’s breakfast time, and an older man walks up and orders a number nine combo with a senior coffee, which is half price, and a small orange juice.)

Me: “Okay, sir, that’s going to be [price].”

Customer: “Did you give me my senior discount?”

Me: “Yes, sir, and the only way I could do that was to put the orange juice with the meal.”

Customer: “But the coffee is supposed to be with the meal.”

Me: “Normally, yes, sir, it is but you have the orange juice, too, which means we can put that with the meal, give you the discount on the coffee, and it will be cheaper.”


(I go and get my manager, who has heard the whole thing, and she rings him up like he wanted.)

Manager: “Okay, sir, your total is [more expensive price].”

Customer: “Hey! That’s more expensive than before.”

Manager: “But that’s how you wanted it rung up, sir. My employee was trying to save you money.”

(He becomes violent again.)


Manager: “Have a nice day, sir.”

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