I work in a Mexican takeout place. We’re in the middle of a massive snowstorm, so we’re not expecting many customers for a few hours, but one crazy guy drives up and runs inside, already covered in snow from just the few feet between the car and our door.

Customer: “I want to order [items], and I want my blizzard discount.”

Me: “Your… what?”

Customer: “Blizzard discount! I need a discount for coming out in a big storm!”

Me: “That’s not a thing. We don’t give discounts for that.”

Customer: “But I came out in a massive storm! I’m bringing you my business!”

Me: “Sir, that’s not a discount we offer.”

Customer: “I saw it on one of your commercials!”

My manager has walked over from the back as the customer has been getting louder and louder.

Manager: “Yes, sir, suuuuure you did, because we want that liability.”

Customer: “But… I came out during a storm!”

Manager: “Congratulations on making public your sexual orientation, but you’re still not getting a discount.”

The guy cursed us out and went back out into the snow. Our burritos are good, but not risk-your-life-driving-through-a-blizzard good.

Customer: “Excuse me, what is this?”

Me: “That’s the spicy cheeseburger meal.”

Customer: “I wanted the spicy burger meal. I didn’t want the cheese. I don’t like gooey things.”

Me: “Uh, I can change that for you, ma’am.”

Coworker: *To me, loud enough for the customer to hear.* “Didn’t she ask for the spicy cheeseburger? I heard her.”

Me: “Yeah. That’s what she ordered.”

Customer: “Excuse me! I can hear you! I want what I want, not what I ordered!”

Congrats on shutting us up, lady, as both of us had no response to that!

Customer: “Is there pork in the chili?”

Me: “No, sir, it is entirely made of beef.”

Customer: “…Is there pork in beef?”

Me: *Processing his question as I stare at him.* “…No, beef is cow, pork is pig.”

Customer: “Oh… why?”

Me: “I… I don’t know.”

A pregnant customer is ordering her burrito.

Customer: “Can I get the… uh…” *Points.* “…the Mexican yoghurt?”

Me: “The sour cream?”

Customer: “Yes! Sorry, preggers brain.”

Me: “Haha, no worries. Last week I overheard someone call it “mayo but not mayo”.”

Customer: “Yeah… that was me.”

The worst part is that we have all the sauces labeled.

It’s the morning rush in a downtown McDonald’s. The line has grown since I’ve been in it. Every customer has been in line at least five minutes, if not longer. I overhear a cashier serving the line next to mine ask:

Cashier: “Sir, what would you like to order today?”

Customer: “I just don’t know, there are so many choices.”

Cashier: “Well, if you’re still deciding, can I serve the next customer?”

Customer: “What do you recommend?”

There is a special kind of look I’ve seen only a few times. The cashier’s jaw muscles seemed to lose their ability to close her mouth. Her eyes kind of drooped, and I saw her will to exist just kind of escape. She wasn’t angry or sad, just tired of dealing with people. Her response.

Cashier: “I’d pick something from the menu…”

Then my order was called, and I grabbed it and left. He was still deciding as I was walking out the door.