Was That Child Trying To Fit A Square Through A Circular Hole?

, , , , | Right | April 18, 2019

(An angry man has come into our store.)

Customer: “I demand to speak to a manager.”

Me: “I’m the managing supervisor today. How can I help you?”

Customer: *throws down a pair of blind fittings* “I bought blinds yesterday and have found that there wasn’t a pair of fittings; they are both identical. I’ve just had to spend an hour driving back here.”

Me: “Let me see what I can do. I’ll just grab another blind and I can give you the right parts.”

Customer: *calming down* “You’ll do that?”

Me: “Yes, I’ll be right back.”

(I bring back another blind and take the fittings out. They are identical to what he has. The fittings are triangular, with a square cut out on top and a round cutout under it. They are for a double-blind system.)

Customer: *yelling* “SEE THAT? THEY’RE THE SAME! SUCH INCOMPETENCE!”

Me: “I’ll just get the instructions out; I’ve never had to deal with these before.” *notices the two blinds have different fittings; one has a square and the other round* “Am I right in thinking that the blinds have a square fitting at one end and round at the other?”

Customer: “Yes, they are at opposite ends. What’s that got to do with it?”

Me: *turns one fitting around so that the round cut out is at the top* “There you go.”

Customer: *looks down at the fitting, then back at me, eyes wide open* “Was that all it was? I’m such an idiot. I’m sorry I’ve been acting so bad. You have been nothing but calm through all this.”

Me: “Well, it did baffle me at first, too.”

Customer: *picking up his fittings* “My wife is never going to let me live this one down.”

Unfiltered: Best Of – January to March 2019 – The Winner!

| Right | April 18, 2019

Dear readers, you might recall this post about how we asked for you to vote on the best stories from the first three months of the year. You voted in your thousands, and we got a winner, but it was a very tight race!

With only around twenty votes separating the top two stories, we’ve decided that we’re going to upgrade BOTH of them to the main feed! Keep an eye out in the coming week for them to appear.

Thanks again to everyone who voted!

Listening Is Not His Number One Priority

, , , , | Right | April 18, 2019

(I’m working the front counter during the second half of my shift with one of my friends on the register next to me. The lunch rush is finally dying down, when this guy approaches.)

Old Man: “I’d like a number one meal.”

Coworker: “All right, a number one meal. What to drink?”

Old Man: “A number one.”

Coworker: “Yes, sir. A number one. What would you like to drink with that?”

Old Man: “A. Number. One. Meal.”

Coworker: “Yes, sir, but—“

Old Man: “A NUMBER O—“

Me: “SIR! He’s asking you what you’d like to drink!”

Old Man: “Oh. Um. Diet Coke.”

(He didn’t look embarrassed or anything. My coworker thanked me for interrupting the guy and getting him to finally listen.)

Wish You Had A Device That Could Silence HIM

, , , , , , | Right | April 18, 2019

(There is a product advertised on TV that promises its user the ability to listen to their TV as loud as they want without disturbing other people in the room via a special pair of wireless headphones. All someone has to do is plug in the receiver to the audio ports on their TV, sync the receiver and the headphones, and voila. Of course, we all know that it’s never as easy as they advertise in the commercials. Unfortunately, the store where I work has sold many units of this product and nearly all are returned because the customers can’t get the headphones and the receiver to properly sync. Most people are mildly upset that they can’t get the device to work, but realize that the product is worth less than the plastic it is made of and ask for their money back. But this one guy just takes the cake.)

Customer: *places the device on the counter in front of me* “I can’t get this to work on my TV.”

Me: “I’m sorry to hear that. If you have your receipt with you, I’d be happy to do the return.”

Customer: “No. Weren’t you listening? I didn’t ask for a refund, now did I? What I said was that I couldn’t get this to work on my TV. Tell me how to make it work.”

(Our store specializes in the sale of bedding, bathroom, and kitchen products, not electronics. None of the employees have any specialized knowledge of home audio setups or TVs.)

Me: *sighing internally, as I’ve given this spiel a hundred times already* “I’m sorry, sir, but if you’ve already followed the instructions in the manual that came with this product and the headphones and receiver still aren’t syncing up properly, I’m afraid there is no other suggestion that I can offer you that’ll make it work. I know that there is a 1-800 number listed on the backside of the manual you can call, but I do not know if they are offering tech support beyond the original instructions. I’d still be happy to do the refund for you if you’d like.”

Customer: “I don’t want no d*** refund and I ain’t calling no 1-800 number where they’ll just transfer me to some call center run by a group of [slurs]. I want you to make this work on my TV.”

(He and I keep going back and forth on the issue, with him refusing the refund and me unable to help him. I bring over my manager and explain the situation to her, and she tells the customer the exact same thing I did. Finally, the customer just snaps. He starts yelling and calling me and my manager names. He makes ludicrous demands, such as a significant discount off his next purchase or having [Store] pay for a technician to come out and install the device for him. It gets so bad that people around us have paused and started listening to his tantrum. This occurs after both my manager and I have said no to all of his demands.)

Customer: “Now listen here: I want you two to call an actual manager up here this time. A real man-ager. Get it? That way he can tell me what to do and I won’t have to listen to you two squawk and squabble with me anymore.”

Manager: “Sir, I am the manager on duty now and I will not permit you to speak like that to anyone here. You have one of three options. One, you can take your item here, leave, and come back when you’ve learned some manners. Two, you can provide [My Name] with your receipt, we will refund you your money, and you can be on your way. Or three, you can take your item, leave, and see what information you can find that we haven’t been able to ourselves. Maybe try asking someone at [Popular Electronics Store] next door and see if they have any suggestions.”

Customer: “Well, who do you think I bought this from originally?”

Manager: *frozen in place* “Excuse me? Did you just say that didn’t even buy this from us?”

Customer: “Yeah?”

Manager: “So, you have been nothing but rude and disrespectful towards me and [My Name]… over this product that you didn’t even purchase from us in the first place?”

Customer: “Well, the people over there only hire children who don’t know anything. Even the manager didn’t even know what he was talking about. I was walking back to my car when I saw in the window that you guys sold this, too, so I figured I’d come in and ask for your help.”

Manager: *completely deadpan* “Sir… just go.”

Customer: “But–“

Manager: “Just… go.”

(Finally, the customer left, muttering about poor customer service and everything. All the while, most of us, employees and customers, were just standing there in awe of what had just transpired. I just felt sorry for whoever had to deal with him next.)

A Cents-ible Decision

, , , , , | Right | April 18, 2019

(While waiting to pay for an energy drink, I am amazed by a drive-thru customer handing her cell phone to the cashier.)

Me: *incredulously* “She gave you her phone?”

Clerk: *rolling her eyes* “Yep. She has a fifty-cent coupon on there.”

Me: “So, for fifty cents off, she lets a stranger have control of a device with her personal info on it?!”

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