Reading Too Much Into This Reading Thing

, , , , , | Right | August 13, 2017

(All our boneless, skinless chicken breasts are buy one, get one free. Included are regular, thin sliced, tenders, and family packs. We have small signs in front of all the boneless, and big signs on sign holders standing up in the case. A woman picks up two packages of chicken WINGS from further down the case and wants them for the buy one, get one free offer.)

Woman: “But why can’t I get these? The signs there say ‘Buy One, Get One Free’ and I want these wings!”

Me: “I’m sorry, but the offer is only on boneless, skinless chicken BREASTS, not all the chicken at this time. See? The signs over here mention everything that’s included.”

Woman: “Well, that’s ridiculous! I want my wings for free! People shouldn’t have to READ when they shop!”

They’re Not Playing Around In That Playground

, , , | Right | August 12, 2017

(I’m about six years old. My grandparents operate a big, Oktoberfest-y beer garden with up to 1000 visitors a day, and a connected playground. When I visit for the summer I am always eager to help. Since they can’t have a child running around behind the tills, they invent the job of ‘playground supervisor’ for me and tell me to see that everybody is having fun. I’m doing just that when I see a kid shove another kid from the swing and spit on him.)

Me: “Hey! You can’t do that!”

Rude Kid: “Shut up! I can do whatever I want!”

Me: “No! That was bad! Please apologize and let him back on the swing…”

(In the same moment I feel the hand of an adult violently grabbing me by the arm and yanking me to the nearby registers. My grandpa, who was standing behind it, sees this from afar and already comes around the front of the till.)

Rude Adult: *to me* “You’ll be sorry for that!” *to my grandpa* “This spoiled brat was rude and insulted my child and me! I want you to throw him off the premises alongside his useless parents or I’ll give him the whipping he very clearly needs! And I want you to comp my meal for the hostile environment you exposed my child to!”

Grandpa: *quietly by visibly furious beneath the surface* “[My Name], why don’t you go back to the playground?”

(I turned around and went back to the playground but still could see that it was dawning on the rude woman that she made a terrible mistake. A few moments later an employee came and escorted the rude child alongside his mother and her friends out of the beer garden. I don’t know what was spoken but they looked mortified and I’ve never seen them back in the years since.)

A Cents-Ible Assumption

, , , , | Right | August 12, 2017

(After touring a famous museum in Greece my friends and I decide to order something from the museum café. The woman in front of us is purchasing one water bottle.)

Employee: “That will be 50c.”

Woman: “Let me find you a quarter.”

Employee: “Ma’am, a fifty cent coin will do.”

Woman: “I don’t have any quarters.”

(She spills all of her coins onto the counter. She has a few fifty cent coins.)

Me: “Madam, this will do.”

(Points out a fifty cent coin.)

Woman: “So I need fifty of these?”

Me: “No, you pay with that.”

(The woman then picks up a one euro coin.)

Woman: “Can I buy a bottle with this.”

Employee: “You can buy two water bottles with that.”

Woman: “Oh, okay.”

(She hands him the one euro coin and he goes to the fridge to get her water.)

Woman: *to me* “A one dollar coin. Who thought of that?”

Me: “Most countries have one dollar coins.”

Woman: “Oh.”

(She took her water and left.)

Money Makes The Moans Go Round

, , , , | Right | August 12, 2017

(I was just clocking into work, and since I am a traveling teller, meaning I go to different locations every day, I have to wait for the manager of the specific branch to give me a drawer.)

Customer: “Excuse me? What are you doing?”

(I continue starting up my computer, assuming she isn’t speaking to me as I still have my ‘next window’ sign up.)

Customer: *to others in line* “Look at that dumb b****, sitting around doing nothing but play with her hair when there’s a line out of the door!”

Me: “Excuse me, ma’am? I am not yet up and ready; my shift has just started. I’m sure another teller will be with you in just one moment. Your patience is appreciated.”

Customer: *rolls eyes*

(After a few moments, she finally reaches another teller, and the following conversation happens after her transaction is completed.)

Customer: “Why would you even hire such a lazy, incompetent girl?”

Coworker: “She actually doesn’t have a drawer yet, so she has no cash to work with.”

Customer: “If I wanted to hear excuses, I would have talked to her. Next time I’m in here, she better be fired! I will be reporting her to management. She should have brought her own cash in if you guys were busy.”

Coworker: “Ma’am? You wanted her to bring thousands of dollars of her own money so you wouldn’t have to wait a few moments on Friday afternoon at a very busy bank?”

Customer: “Yes! That would have been the right thing to do.”

(I was yelled at the first two minutes of my shift. I decided this had to be some sort of record, and we all had a good laugh about it in the end. Joke’s on you, lady. You didn’t ruin my day; you just made me laugh! Plus, she didn’t even get my name so she could report me.)

That’s Still More Than Trump Gives Back

, , , , | Right | August 11, 2017

(I work at a popular restaurant in Las Vegas. We get a diverse group of people from different cultural and political backgrounds. This particular day is like any other, until this exchange occurs:)

Customer: *wearing a ‘Make America Great Again’ hat* “I’m only going to give you a 10% tip because you didn’t do a great job.”

Me: “I’m sorry, did I do something wrong?”

Customer: “Oh, no, no, not at all. You were fine; you just weren’t great. Have a nice day!”

Me: “All right, we’ll see you next time.” *quietly, to myself* “Next time I’ll make table-side service great again…”

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