Good Pizza Is Worth Travelling For

, , , | Right | December 7, 2017

(I’m the customer in this story. My mom usually adds certain restaurants to her speed dial for convenience. On this specific occasion we have just gotten home from a long road trip.)

Employee: “Hello, [Pizza Place], Name please?”

Me: “Hi, my name is [My Name], and I’d like a medium pepperoni pizza, please, for pick-up.”

Employee: “Okay, Miss [My Name], it’ll be ready in about 15 minutes.”

(Fifteen minutes later, I drive to the nearest known location, only to be told that they don’t have my order or my phone number in their records. I check the number again.)

Me: “Hey, Mom. The number they provide and the one in your speed dial don’t match up.”

Mom: “Oh. Try calling them back maybe?”

Me: *already on phone with the place I had called* “Hello, it’s [My Name] again. Um, I have a stupid question. Where are you located?”

Employee: *sounding bemused* “We are located in [city about seven hours away].”

Me: *trying not to laugh* “I am so sorry, could you please cancel my order? I’m afraid I won’t be able to pick it up in time.”

Employee: “Sure thing, miss.”

Me: “Thank you, and have a wonderful day, sir.”

(After hanging up, I relay the story to my mom and we both have a giggle over it and how we’d have to drive a good seven hours for pizza. I then call the correct number.)

Me: “Hello, my name is [My Name]; are you located at [nearby street]?”

Employee: “Ma’am, you were here just five minutes ago.”

(I place my order, while containing my giggles, and go over to pick up my pizza. Out of embarrassment, I relay the story to the clerk in order to clear up the earlier confusion before paying for the pizza.)

Employee: “Well, that would’ve been one heck of a drive!”

That Sure Is Some Premium Racism

, , , | Right | December 7, 2017

(I’m standing at the counter when two female customers, the first one African-American and the second one white, get in line for service.)

Customer #1: “Hi, can I get a pound of [Premium Brand] ham?”

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am. We don’t carry [Premium Brand] products. We have [Competing Brand] instead.”

Customer #1: “Oh, that’s no good. I only eat [Premium Brand]. I guess I’ll go somewhere else.”

Me: “I’m sorry for the inconvenience.”

(She walks away, and the second customer approaches.)

Customer #2: “I’d like a half-pound of [Premium Brand] roast beef, please.”

Me: “I’m sorry, as I was just telling that other lady, we don’t carry any [Premium Brand] products.”

Customer #2: “You REALLY don’t have any? You weren’t just saying that?”

Me: “Just saying that? No, ma’am, I wasn’t just saying that.”

Customer #2: “Oh. I just assumed you did have it, but you didn’t sell the good stuff to [racial slurs].”

Me: “…You have a good day, ma’am.”

The True Justice League

, , , | Queens, NY, USA | Right | December 7, 2017

Throwback Thursdays

THROWBACK THURSDAY! Check out this awesome story that you may have missed! What’s the wildest experience you’ve had with the police while at work? Let us know in the comments!

(A cop comes in, in uniform and out of breath.)

Bat Cop: “Batman.”

Employee: “Sorry?”

Bat Cop: “Batman. Mask. Where can I find one?”

Employee: “Uh, we’ve got a selection of—”

(The cop grabs a mask, shoves a stack of money into the employee’s hand, and runs out.)

Employee: “What the f*** just happened?”

(I’m wondering the same thing, so I take off after the cop, only to find a second cop waiting for him.)

Second Cop: “You find one?”

Bat Cop: *puts on the mask* “Yeah. Think it’ll work?”

Second Cop: “It’s worth a shot…”

(They walk around the corner, so I follow to find a drunk man clinging to a second-story window dressed as Spider Man.)

Drunk Spidey: “You all just fake cops. Gonna be the Joker or some s*** behind that badge!”

Bat Cop: *in a deep voice* “Spider-man. Come on down. We have work to do.”

Drunk Spidey: *after a long pause* “We do?”

Bat Cop: “The city is in danger. I need your help.”

(Slowly, the drunk man climbs down until he’s hanging from the bars of the window. One of the cops has found a stepladder and they manage to cajole him into climbing down. It looks like they’re going to let him go until…)

Drunk Spidey: “Yo, Batman! Is there such thing as, like, Bat-heroin? ‘Cause I used all my Spider-heroin!”

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Nope. Wrong. Please Tai Again.

, , , , , | Right | December 7, 2017

(Overheard while waiting in line to order Chinese food:)

Customer: *at counter* “…and then I’ll have the spring rolls.” *pulling out his credit card* “So, how long ago did you move here from China?”

Employee: “Oh, I’ve been here for 11 years. But I’m actually not from China; I’m from Taiwan.”

Customer: “Really? Then why aren’t you working at a Thai restaurant?”

Just Don’t Mention The War

, , , , , | Right | December 7, 2017

(It’s Christmas time and it’s super busy. I’m working in the jewelry department, helping an older woman pick out a pendant.)

Customer: “Oh, well, these look nice.”

Me: “Yes, ma’am, they’re actually on sale, too. Let me grab some other pieces you might like.”

(I turn to see a man jogging towards the entrance of the store. A second later, our loss prevention man comes running by, jumps, and flies through the air, tackling the jogging man to the ground.)

Customer: “I think those two men are fighting, sir.”

Me: “Just checking the walls, ma’am.” *trying to act nonchalant to avoid causing a scene*

Customer: “Oh, you watch Fawlty Towers?”

(The woman completely forgot about the wrestling match one aisle over and I managed to make a delightful commission. Thanks, John Cleese.)

 

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