Explaining It Until You’re Pink And Purple, Part 2

, , , | Right | August 13, 2020

It is in the middle of a busy morning rush and I’m trying to get drinks out quickly when a mom repeatedly calls for my attention off to the side of the handoff bar. 

Me: “What can I help you with?”

Customer: “My daughter says you made her drink wrong!”

Me: “Oh, I apologize. What was it that she wanted?”

Customer: “She wanted that cotton candy drink!”

I take the cup from her and look at the markings. Yep, I did it right. I slide it back over to the mom. 

Me: “Ma’am, this is the correct drink.”

Customer: “She says it’s supposed to be blue!”

Me: “Blue?”

Customer: “Yeah! She says the picture on the secret website shows that it’s blue!”

I piece together what happened rather quickly; there’s a well-known website that posts “secret recipes” for us to make, but we don’t actually have any of those recipes in store, nor do we regularly check them. However, I know for a fact that a recently failed drink was the only one to ever be blue in color, so I figure they just used the wrong picture. 

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but they probably just used the wrong picture. I assure you that this is the cotton candy drink.”

Customer: “Can you make it blue, though?”

Me: “No, I can’t, I’m sorry.”

Customer: “Why not?”

Me: “I don’t have anything at my disposal that would make the drink blue. I’m sorry.”

Customer: “Well, can you make it any sort of color, then?”

Me: “I can maybe add some strawberry to it, to make it a little pink?”

Customer: “Perfect! And while you’re at it, can you add some blue, too? Make it purple when it’s all mixed up?”

Explaining It Until You’re Pink And Purple

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Should Have Charged Him Every Time He Swore

, , | Right | August 13, 2020

I’m working at a popular restaurant in town. I’ve been there for about two years and never encountered someone as rude as this. A family with three kids come in about fifteen minutes before we close. I’m tired after a long shift so I’m a little more sensitive than usual. The family orders their food and I’m about to put their transaction through when the father decides he wants a beer. 

Customer: “Yeah, can I get a [Beer Brand we don’t carry].”

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, we actually don’t have that particular brand, but if you look at our drinks list, you can see what we have available.”

Customer: “F****** useless.”

I am a bit taken back at this because I don’t feel anything unreasonable has taken place, but I stay quiet. I put through a different drink for him and he begins to use his card to pay. He doesn’t hold it down long enough for PayWave to read his card, so I have to ask him to tap it several times.

Customer: “B****, you’d better not have charged me three f****** times.”

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, but I’m sure you won’t have been charged multiple times.”

Customer: “Worthless c*** of a waitress.”

I’m quite upset at this point, so I decide to show the family to a table as quickly as I can. I get their things together and move to seat them. My manager comes out and asks that I seat them at a different table. All of a sudden, the patron goes off and begins screaming. 

Customer: “This is f****** bulls***. Let her sit us at the f****** table she was taking us to instead of wasting our f****** time, you fat c***!”

My manager apologised and the man snatched their cups and cutlery off of me and stormed off to their own table, his wife and children in tow. I was very shaken and upset from this encounter, so I headed out the back and broke down in tears. I don’t understand how people can be so rude, especially in front of young children!

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Crocodile Denial, Part 2

, , , , , | Right | August 13, 2020

I work as a tour guide at a wildlife park. Today, I am showing a tour group of senior high school and college students from the US around our wildlife park. We arrive at one of the saltwater crocodiles, which are bigger and more dangerous than alligators. This one is five metres long and weighs nearly a metric tonne, and he is on the bank with only his tail in the water.

We are standing on a raised platform looking down at him. I finish my talk about crocodiles.

Me: “Does anyone have any questions?”

Tourist: “How do you make the crocodile do tricks?”

Me: *Pause* “I do not make him do tricks.”

Tourist: “But he’s just sitting there.”

Me: “Yes, crocodiles save their energy for when they need it. See how he’s watching us? He won’t move unless he decides it’s worth the effort.”

Tourist: “You should poke him.”

Me: “I’m not going to poke him.”

Tourist: “C’mon, he won’t move, I bet.”

Me: “He absolutely will move; he is very territorial. We do not enter his pen without a lot of precautions; he can attack very quickly.”

Tourist: “But he looks so lazy.”

Me: “Again, because he is saving his energy.”

Tourist: “I’m going to jump in there.”

The tourist goes to swing his foot up over the railing. Whether or not he’s joking doesn’t matter; I pull him back from the barrier.

Me: “Absolutely do not do that. You will die. And I will not be going in to save you.”

Tourist: “You won’t?”

Me: “No.”

He finally moved on after that.

Crocodile Denial

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Not Very Closed-Minded, Part 39

, , , | Right | August 13, 2020

The store I work at closes at 11:00 pm. Even though it’s been like that for years, people still show up at the last minute. Many times, we’ve had to turn people away because we’re closed and ready to go home. It’s a small store, so all the registers are right next to the front door. It’s 11:10, so, of course, we have already turned the sliding door off. I am pulling the very last cash drawer when suddenly someone starts forcing the doors open.

Customer: “Can I get a bottle of booze?”

Me: “No, sir, we closed ten minutes ago.”

Customer: “Why?”

Me: “Because we close at 11:00.”

Customer: “Since when?”

Me: “Six years ago.”

Customer: “How was I supposed to know you were closed?”

Me: “You had to forcibly open the sliding doors that were turned off.”

Customer: “Whatever. You’re a b****, anyway.”

Me: “I’m okay with that. You still need to leave.”

Customer: “Fine.”

He mumbled something about bad customer service on his way out.

Not Very Closed Minded, Part 38
Not Very Closed Minded, Part 37
Not Very Closed Minded, Part 36
Not Very Closed Minded, Part 35
Not Very Closed Minded, Part 34

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Violating The Universal Amount Of Cream

, , , | Right | August 13, 2020

My wife and I own a coffee shop. One day, a customer comes in and asks for a free cup of coffee because the last time she was in the drive-thru her coffee was “undrinkable.”

Wife: “Yes, of course. Can I ask what was wrong with your coffee?”

Customer: “It had the wrong amount of cream!”

She pulls out her smartphone.

Wife: “This is what your coffee looked like; this is what coffee should look like.”

She scrolls back and forth several times between photos of coffee from above.

Wife: “Your coffee. My coffee. Your coffee. My coffee.”

She apparently thought there was a universal amount of cream that should be added to coffee and we violated that standard.

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