That Was A Bad ID-ea

, , , , , | Right | September 18, 2019

(This post office is in the back corner of a shop. In the post office queue, the guy at the front is taking ages, getting annoyed.)

Guy: “Look, get me your manager. I was told this would be fine. She’ll back me up.”

Cashier: “Do you mean the manager of the post office or of the whole store?”

Guy: “The post office, obviously. God, are you stupid?”

(The cashier makes a phone call, and it’s obvious the manager tells her to go along with the guy’s demands.)

Cashier: “Okay, then, we’ll just need to see some ID…”

Guy: “But didn’t your manager tell you who I am? She’s a friend of mine, you know.”

Cashier: “Sir, my manager’s a guy, so…”

(The guy shut up and handed over his ID.)

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Will Have To Take That Up With Mother Nature

, , , , | Right | September 18, 2019

(We offer both hand-cut regular fries and sweet potato fries as choices of sides on our menu. A group of three older ladies sit and order, one of them ordering a side of sweet potato fries. Once they receive their food, the lady that ordered sweet potato fries beckons me over.)

Customer: “I am not happy with my sweet potato fries.”

Me: “I’m very sorry to hear that. Is anything wrong with them?”

Customer: “They’re not very crispy or cooked. I would like a side of regular fries, instead.”

(I bring her a side of regular fries, which are fairly crispy. I know that our sweet potato fries are dropped raw, which will never result in a crispy texture like regular fries. To get a crispy sweet potato fry, you have to do something to it, like put flour or cornstarch on them.)

Me: “Here is your side of fries, ma’am. We cook our sweet potato fries raw, so they won’t get crispy like you wanted, I’m sorry.”

Customer: “Raw? Well, you put your regular fries in raw, as well, don’t you?”

Me: “Yes, but they’re untreated–”

Customer: “Then they should be the same!”

Me: “But sweet potato fries are more fibrous; they won’t cook the same.”

Customer: “If you cook regular fries raw, then the sweet potato fries should be the same.”

Me: “Okay. Enjoy your meal, ma’am.”

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Not In Receipt Of Common Sense

, , , | Right | September 17, 2019

(I work in a college town and our store location is at the end of a rather populated bar street. I work the night shift, also known as “bar rush” because of the influx of drunk people that come in when the bars close. Being the only fast food place in the area to get to on foot, bar rush is extremely busy for us. Because of the chaos, we require customers to keep their receipts so we know what food is theirs and that they actually bought food. I work register.)

Me: *finishing up with a customer, handing him a drink cup as the receipt prints* “Here you go, sir, and here is your receipt.”

Drunken Patron: *takes the cup* “I don’t need the receipt, thanks.”

Me: “Sir, during bar rush you have to have your receipt to get your food.”

Drunken Patron: *waves it away as he walks off to wait*

Me: *shrugs, sets his receipt to the side, and addresses the next customer* “Good evening. How can I help you?”

(About fifteen minutes later, the first man comes back to the counter as one of my coworkers who works the food line comes over on my side.)

Coworker: “Do you still have his receipt?”

Me: *picks up his receipt and hands it to her, recognizing the man who refused it earlier* “Yup.”

Drunken Patron: “I just want my food; no one told me I needed my receipt.”

Coworker: *understanding the situation* “Of course not, sir. Here’s your food. Have a great evening.”

Tipsy Regular: *at my register* “People just don’t listen, do they?”

Me: *smirks and continues her order* “Same chaos, different night.”

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The Name Is The Game

, , , , | Right | September 17, 2019

(Two customers are looking at me and nudging each other. They are a man and a woman. Eventually, they bring their purchases to my counter and I ring them up. I have a bit of an odd name for a girl.)

Man: “Is that your real name?” *indicates my name tag*

Me: “Yep!”

(The man pulls a face and hands the woman a $5 bill. They leave.)

Coworker: “What just happened?”

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Cover Every Eventuality Except The Customer Being Right

, , , | Right | September 17, 2019

(When a new Internet service is connected, customers will be sent a notification advising of their details needed to log in or configure a modem. Usually, this is sent out straight away but sometimes it gets delayed, or the customer asks for it before it gets a chance to send.)

Caller: “Hi. I got a service connected yesterday and I haven’t been sent my username and password.”

Me: “No problems. I can get that for you.”

(We go through the ID process.)

Me: “Thanks, I have your account here. Now, I can send those details to you via—”

Caller: *snarky* “Well, if you’re going to email it to me, how am I supposed to access it when I can’t even log on to my Internet?”

Me: “As I was about to say, I can send it via text message to the number you’re calling from. Or another number… or I can read it out to you to note down…”

Caller: “Oh…”

Me: *sweet as treacle* “…because most people would have the same issue, so we have a range of options to work around it for you.”

Caller: “Oh… well… Actually, I was being a little mean because I can actually access email on my phone, but I thought, ‘What if I don’t have an iPhone?’”

(By now I have sent the text message.)

Me: “Yes, well, I did wonder that. But as I said, we cover each eventuality. Is there anything else I can help you with today?”

Caller: *grumpily* “No, thank you.” *click*

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