Has Both Luggage And Racist Baggage

, , , | Right | November 19, 2019

(I work in a shop at the airport. Every half-hour, a message about not leaving your luggage unattended is broadcast over the speakers. I have one customer who asks if we can charge up her phone before her plane boards and we agree. She stands to the side of the shop, looking at the gate and us, when she suddenly whips off her backpack and say that she’ll be right back. We are tired of people doing this by this point. When she finally gets back, my colleague talks to her.)

Colleague: “You can’t walk away from your luggage like that; it is strictly forbidden in all airports in this country.”

Customer: “What’s the problem?! You already had my phone so I thought it would be fine.”

Colleague: “It is a matter of security. I was about to call security to take the backpack away from here.”

Customer: “Why would you do that?! You knew it was mine!”

Colleague: “Well, I don’t know you. For all I know, you could be a terrorist setting up a bomb in the busiest shop at this airport.”

Customer: “I can’t be a terrorist! I’m white!”

(My colleague and I were both shocked over this comment and just gave her back her belongings.)

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Discovering New Depths Of Stupidity

, , | Right | November 19, 2019

(I am on holiday in the Lake District. Near where we stay are a series of underground rivers, with tours in boats. It’s a good tour, and the tour guide explains to us that even though they’ve discovered a lot of the caves, there are still probably caves that have not yet been discovered.)

Guide: “And before anyone asks, I don’t know how many undiscovered caves there are. No one does… because they’re undiscovered.”

(No one asked it on my tour, but I have to wonder how many people asked that stupid question for him to answer it without us asking.)

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That’s What They Think Discrimination Is?!

, , , , , | Right | November 19, 2019

(It’s a slow day in my marine supply store when an older man comes in wearing a backpack. We have many signs posted saying we do not allow backpacks and other large bags into the store due to theft issues.)

Me: “We can hold onto your backpack here behind the cashier station.”

Backpack Man: *while taking off backpack* “This is the first time anybody has ever asked me to take off my backpack here.”

Me: “It’s just a policy and we do have signs posted.”

Backpack Man: “I know, but nobody has ever asked me before.”

Me: “Okay, well, I am now and I’m putting it here.” *places it in the backpack area*

(A few minutes later, I leave for lunch and forget about the guy. I’ve forgotten about backpack man and return from lunch. He shows up at my till later and buys one item of minimal value. I go through the usual cashier autopilot mode and then remember to hand him back his pack.)

Me: “All right, there you go.”

Backpack Man: “You know, I’ve been shopping here for years and nobody has ever asked me for my backpack. And just so you know! I saw four women with very large bags. If you’re going to enforce that policy you need to do it for everybody and not just discriminate against me!

Me: “Sir, I’m not discriminating against you. And I just got back from lunch and haven’t seen those ladies. Sorry they weren’t stopped by my coworkers, but I do stop everyone.”

Backpack Man: “Well, you didn’t get their bags and you’re discriminating against me!”

Me: “I’m really not. Plus, you already gave me your backpack, so I don’t get what your problem is.”

Backpack Man: “Well, what if I didn’t give you my backpack?! Then what?!”

Me: “Then we don’t let you shop here, and I take your items away.”

Backpack Man: “That’s discrimination! YOU CAN’T DISCRIMINATE AGAINST ME LIKE THAT!”

(I’m too tired to care anymore and I just tell him he can leave now. Before he leaves, a very tall lady behind him comes up and places her items on my counter, towering over the guy, and very loudly states:)

Lady: “I want you to discriminate against me right now! And if you don’t I’ll be very angry!” *turns and glares at the man*

(The backpack guy leaves after that without any more fuss, but I’m still fuming. Thankfully, that wonderful lady came to my rescue, and before she leaves, she says:)

Lady: “Also, did he even realize who he was talking to? You’re a person of color; you know all about what discrimination is. What a dumba**.”

(Bless you, lady, for understanding my daily suffering.)

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Oh, You Meant THE Bushes!

, , | Right | November 19, 2019

(I work in a hotel. It’s around midnight and I get a call. I do my usual phone spiel.)

Caller: *in distress* “Yes, hello? I’m staying at your hotel tonight and I’m lost!”

Me: “Okay, where are you?”

Caller: “I don’t know! Please hurry up and give me some directions; my phone is nearly dead!”

Me: “Uh… do you see a street sign?”

Caller: “No! All I see is some bushes!”

(I try to help but am unable to, since I’ve no idea where her bushes are. Her phone dies and she doesn’t call back. Hours later, she arrives, looking murderous.)

Lady: “Are you [My Name]? Thanks a lot for the help!”

Me: *taken aback* “Uh, well, you didn’t give me much to go from.”

(She glares.)

Me: “Glad you made it, though?”

(She snatched her keys and signed the registration card, glaring at me the whole time like I had just murdered her entire family. The next day, I found out that she had complained about my pathetic unhelpfulness. I explained to the questioning manager what had happened and he laughed hysterically at her ridiculousness and said, “Doesn’t everyone have a GPS now?” People, when you call for help, at least have a street name ready!)

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Making A Mocha-ry Of The Drink

, , , , | Right | November 19, 2019

(I’m a barista, making drinks for customers at a pretty popular coffee chain. Store policy is to remake drinks if a customer has a complaint, even if we know we’ve made the drink correctly. One woman has ordered a mocha frappuccino. I make the drink and put it on the bar, where she’s waiting. She takes one sip and makes a face.)

Customer: “This isn’t right.”

Me: “Oh, I’m sorry, ma’am. What’s wrong with it?”

Customer: “There’s chocolate in this.”

Me: “Did we add too much? I can remake the drink for you with half the amount of chocolate, if you’d like.”

Customer: “What? No! A mocha’s not supposed to have chocolate in it at all!”

Me: “Um… Mocha means coffee and chocolate, ma’am.”

Customer: “No, it doesn’t! I’ve gotten a mocha plenty of times before, and it didn’t have any chocolate in it at all!”

Me: “So, you just want something coffee-flavored? I can make you a coffee frap, no problem!”

Customer: “NO! I don’t want a coffee frappuccino. I want a mocha frap, no chocolate!”

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, our recipe guide includes chocolate in the mocha frap. I’m not sure what you’re asking for.”

Customer: “It’s very simple! You make a frappuccino! You put the coffee in it! You put the mocha in it! You do not put the chocolate in it!

(Rather than try to explain that our “mocha” syrup is, in actuality, chocolate syrup, I simply nod and take the cup back. I end up making her a coffee frap with a half-pump of mocha syrup.)

Me: “All right, ma’am, I think I got it right this time. Please let me know if it’s not what you’re looking for.”

Customer: *taking a sip* “This is much better! Honestly, I don’t know what was so hard for you to understand; all you had to do was put in the mocha and leave out the chocolate.”

(She filed a complaint with my manager.)

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