Always Take The Weather With You Somewhere Else

, , , | Right | March 18, 2018

(I work for a major hotel chain in their reservation center.)

Me: “Good evening. This is [My Name] and I will be assisting you with your reservation.”

Caller: “Can you tell me what the weather will be like next week in [City 1000 miles away]?”

Me: “Sir, this the Global Reservation Center for [Hotel]. I suggest you look up the forecast via a weather website.”

Caller: “Can you look it up for me?”

Me: “I can, but you will be on hold for the next few minutes.”

Caller: “Oh. Never mind, then.” *click*

St Patrick’s Day Roundup

| Right | March 17, 2018

What’s the craic? Some of you might have noticed that today is the day where everyone is a little bit Irish and we all come together to celebrate the Patron Saint of Ireland, and the country of Ireland itself. Here are ten stories to shimmy your shamrock, so grab a pint of Guinness, and a bunch of other Irish stereotypes as we delve in!

Do you have a story of Ireland, the Irish, or of St Patrick’s Day?  Tell us your tale in the comments, or submit it here!


Trying To Read It In Blackest Night – If you can’t tell who is wearing green for St Patrick’s Day, are they wearing green?

Brogue On A Dime – Authenticity is all in how you say it.

Wherever You Go, There US Are – There are Irish people in Ireland!

Should Éire On The Side Of Caution – Ireland is not part of another country…

Ireland Is A Cottage Industry – …nor is Ireland stuck in Medieval times.

Her Belief Is A Shamrock – Wait, which holiday is it?

Scrooge-Fest – Bah, Humbug, indeed!

The Ire Of The Irish – The Irish only speak Irish?

You’ve Got To Be Kitten Me – Although some Irish people do speak Irish!

His Translation Is A Sham(rock) – I do not think it means what you think it means.


Taxing Faxing, Part 23

, , , | Right | March 17, 2018

(Our company doesn’t have a fax machine anymore. Instead, any faxes that people send to our line come through as email attachments. Unfortunately, the sender doesn’t get anything saying that we have received their fax. Usually, this isn’t a problem, but sometimes things go wrong, and we just don’t get the fax. Generally, when this happens, they call us to check, and we tell them to either resend, or scan and email, which is a bit more reliable.)

Me: “[Company], [My Name] speaking. How may I help you?”

Caller: “I sent you a fax on the 28th, and it still hasn’t been actioned!”

Me: “Oh, gosh. I’m so sorry! I will double-check and see where that request is for you, right away!”

Caller: “You do that! I sent it at [time] on the 28th!”

Me: *looking through our inbox* “I’m really sorry, but we haven’t received anything from you since [date well before the 28th].”

Caller: “But I sent it!”

Me: “Okay, let me just check one more place; it might have been misfiled.” *checks, nothing there* “No, sorry. It doesn’t look like anything came through. I do apologise, but we just didn’t receive it.”

Caller: “But I sent it!”

Me: “Again, I am sorry, but since we didn’t receive it, we didn’t action it. If you resend it to us now, I can make sure we do it for you immediately.”

Caller: “But I sent it!”

Me: “I realise that, but unfortunately, our system never received it.”

Caller: “BUT I SENT IT!”

(I had no idea what else I could say, at least not without getting fired. I just kept on apologising, and lost another ten minutes of my life with her saying, “BUT I SENT IT!” in reply to everything I said. She did eventually get off the phone, and we ended up getting multiple copies of her next request, with the note, “I SENT IT!” attached as a cover letter.)

Taxing Faxing, Part 22
Taxing Faxing, Part 2017
Taxing Faxing, Part 21
Taxing Faxing, Part 20

Oh, He No!

, , , | Right | March 17, 2018

(I work in a popular party store, and we sell balloons. We sell them by the package, and individually if you would like to have them inflated. I am working the front counter when a customer walks out from the aisle.)

Customer: “Are these balloons helium free?” *proceeds to hold up a package of latex balloons that were not inflated*

Me: “Yes, they are.”

Customer: “How can you tell?”

Why Oh Wyoming

, , , , | Right | March 17, 2018

(On my first day working in a video game store, I hear loud, drunken rambling outside. I go out to find an extremely irate man screaming and pointing at one of the other employee’s cars. I ask what the problem is.)

Me: “Dude. What’s the deal, man?”

Customer: “This f***** parked his car over the line!”

(The employee, who happens to be female, has parked her car — a large range rover — with one of the front tires barely over the line.)

Me: “Listen. I’m going to have to ask you to stop screaming and swearing out here, all right? This is a small town and people get scared by that kind of stuff.”

Customer: “I’m from f***ing De Moines! I’ve seen scarier s*** every f***ing morning!”

Me: “I understand that, dude, but you really don’t want to scare these people.”

Customer: “Oh, yeah? Why not?!”

(The guy starts to bump into me with his chest, pushing me against the wall. Just then, the manager walks out aiming his .44 magnum revolver that he always open-carries.)

Manager: “Because everybody in Wyoming has one of these, and you don’t want to scare somebody with one of these.”

(The manager pulls the hammer back.)

Manager: “Right now, you’re scaring me.”

(The customer stared in horror down the barrel of the gun and swiftly got in his car and drove off.)

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