There’s A Nice Breeze Going Through Her Brain

, , , , | Right | May 27, 2020

I work for an HVAC dealer; we install and repair furnaces, AC, etc. A lady calls up today and she says her air conditioner isn’t cooling the house down very well at all and she doesn’t understand why it’s 80 degrees in her home right now.

She requests a call from one of our technicians who was at her home last so she can try to figure this out. Our technician gives her a call as requested. She proceeds to inform him that she “has all of her windows open and there’s a nice cross breeze, but why isn’t the AC working better?”

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If At First You Don’t Succeed, Thai Again, Part 2

, , , , | Right | May 27, 2020

At the very front of our restaurant, in HUGE letters, reads, “Thai and Sushi Restaurant.”

Me: “Hi. How’re we doing today?”

Customer: “What kind of food do you serve here?”

Me: “Oh… Well, uh, we serve Thai and sushi, ma’am.”

Customer: “Do you serve Chinese food?”

Me: “Uh, no, ma’am, sorry. We’re a Thai restaurant.”

Customer: “Well, what kind of stupid restaurant is this?”

They stayed and ordered food anyway.

If At First You Don’t Succeed, Thai Again

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It Was By Design(er)

, , , , , , | Right | May 27, 2020

I’m a recent college graduate, and I’ve just gotten my first check from my first “big girl” job. I decide to use some of it on a pair of earrings from a very whimsical designer that I’ve always liked but could never afford.

I get to the store and see “store closing” signs everywhere. There are a few people in the store. The sales associate calls out a friendly greeting, as she’s seen me come in a few times and sigh over items that I couldn’t afford as a broke college student.

Me: “Hi! I’m sorry y’all are closing. I can finally get my first [Designer] item and it might be the last.”

Sales Associate: “I’ve seen you in here a couple of times. I’m glad you came back to buy something from us before we closed. What do you have in mind?”

Me: “Oh, some earrings. Nothing super pricey, though.”

I spot a pair of dangly heart-shaped earrings at the register.

Me: “Wow, those are gorgeous!”

Sales Associate: “Right?! They sold fast. I think that’s our last pair. Unfortunately, they are still full-price.”

Me: “Darn. What do you have on sale?”

Sales Associate: “Sale jewelry is back by the dresses. We just reduced a ton of stuff today so you’ve got a lot of options. Holler if you need anything. I’m happy to help!”

I thank her and get to browsing. Almost immediately, a snotty customer in her forties gets in my way, blocking the aisle, and demanding attention from the sales associates. She makes comments about actually being able to afford the items in the store and huffs every time she sees me. Whatever.

I find a pair of earrings and a ring at a huge discount and get in line to buy them. Who should get behind me but [Entitled Lady], on her cell phone, talking loudly. I then hear this gem:

Entitled Lady: “Oh, there’s some heart-shaped earrings at the register. Totally cute. I’m buying them.”

I roll my eyes. Of course, she wants those, and she can probably afford them, too! It’s my turn, so I step up to the register. It’s the same sales associate from earlier.

Sales Associate: “Hey, nice choices! Glad you found some stuff. Anything else you want to add?”

I pick up the heart-shaped earrings and look at them.

Me: “I’m gonna kill my budget if I buy these, but gosh, they’re so pretty.”

Sales Associate: “You know what? Let me see something.”

She rings them up with my other purchases and types something in the computer.

Sales Associate: “Oh, look at that. They went on sale just now. You want them?”

I look at the price. I can now afford them. The sales associate is grinning.

Me: “Yes! Thank you!”

Sales Associate: “You’re welcome. You’ve made excellent choices today. You can swipe your card whenever you’re ready!”

She finishes ringing me out, wishes me a great day, and calls up [Entitled Lady]. I walk very slowly to the exit, because I want to hear what happens next.

Entitled Lady: “Hey, I wanted those heart earrings. Where did they go?”

Sales Associate: “What? Oh! Someone must’ve bought them.”

Entitled Lady: “What?! You must have more in the back!”

Sales Associate: “So sorry, ma’am, but that was our last pair, and we won’t be getting any more.”

I hustled out of the store laughing. That was eight years ago, and I still have those earrings!

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Trying To Lord It Over You From The Drive-Thru

, , , , , | Right | May 27, 2020

I live in one of few states not under full quarantine yet. Many restaurants are closed except for drive-thru, including ours. A coworker of mine is taking orders through drive-thru.

Customer: “Do you read the Bible, [Coworker]?

Coworker: “No, I’m not religious.”

The customer starts ranting.

Customer: “This disease is a punishment from God! Repent while you still have time!”

She simply took his order and then he went to the next window asking the same question, again ranting when given the same answer. A few minutes later, the same customer went through the drive-thru again, this time blowing a trumpet. We still don’t know what the deal was but everyone was talking about “trumpet guy” by the end of the day.

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Money Thrown Everywhere Except Where He Needs It To Be

, , , , | Right | May 27, 2020

A man finishes ordering his food, so I give him the total.

Me: “All right, your total is $14.16.”

He hands me $14.15.

Me: “Sir, I just need one more penny.”

Customer: “Really? You’re going to be like that over one penny?!”

He continues to rant for a bit about this before handing me the penny and saying:

Customer: “Every other time I order this they don’t make me pay the one cent.”

Me: “I’m just doing my job, sir.”

As I put the money into the till, he begins ranting about this, cursing at me, and getting more upset by the second. Finally, he stops me and says:

Customer: “Just give me my d*** money back!”

Me: “Sir?”

Customer: “I said give me my f****** money back!”

I call the manager over for the refund and to handle the situation. I start to explain the situation before he interrupts me.

Customer: “No, don’t tell her what happened! Just give me my d*** money!”

I back off as the manager handles it and gives him the refund. He storms out, but before leaving, he turns around and chucks the $0.16 at me from behind.

Me: “Did he just throw his money at us?”

Manager: “Just ignore it. He’s just having a really bad day. You didn’t do anything wrong.”

I shrugged and pocketed the money from the ground.

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