The Kids’ Version Comes With Jesus Juice

, , , , , | Right | January 20, 2019

(This takes place at a fairly nice restaurant at the table next to where I am sitting.)

Customer: “Can you remake this Bloody Mary?”

Waitress: “What’s the problem with it?”

Customer: “It’s too weak! I can barely taste the Mary Juice!”

Waitress: “I will have them remake it with more… Mary Juice.”

Just Tell Them They Will Get Dog Breath

, , , , | Healthy Right | January 20, 2019

(I’m a receptionist for a busy veterinarian office. We have a strict policy of not giving medical advice over the phone for the protection of the patients, as I am not a medical professional; I am a receptionist with zero medical training. A frantic woman calls.)

Caller: “What’s going to happen to me? I used my dog’s toothbrush!”

Me: “I don’t believe anything should happen to you, but if you’re worried, you should call your own doctor for advice.”

Caller: “But don’t you know?! You know about dogs; you should know what will happen to me!”

(Both my other phone lines are now ringing.)

Me: “I cannot give medical advice over the phone. Also, we are a veterinarian. If you need medical advice for people, you need to speak to a human doctor.”

Caller: “But don’t you know? You know about dogs.”

Me: *repeating myself* “I really cannot give medical advice for pets or humans. If you are worried, call your own doctor. Now, I need to answer some other calls.”

Caller: “Okay. I just don’t understand why you can’t tell me what will happen to me.”

(I had to hang up on the woman because she wouldn’t stop whining about it.)

Four-Twenty Is A High Price To Pay

, , , | Right | January 20, 2019

(I have a male customer, probably in his early 30s, buying a few items. As I’m ringing them up, he’s watching his subtotal.)

Subtotal: “$4.20.”

Customer: *giggles*

Subtotal: “$5.20.”

Customer: “Aw.”

The Trashiest Customers In The World

, , , , | Right | January 20, 2019

(I am working at a popular coffee chain, and it is my turn to sweep the parking lot and pick up cigarette butts. A large truck pulls into the lot and stops in the parking space next to where I am working. The driver looks at me, cracks a smile as if he just thought of the best joke in the world, and dumps his ENTIRE car ashtray onto the ground.)

Man: “You missed a spot.”

Bitter About The Caramel, Part 2

, , , , | Right | January 20, 2019

A woman ordered a hot chocolate, and while I was making it, she asked for extra whipped cream and extra caramel topping — not an odd or hard request.

I handed it to her and she looked at me sharply, asking if I put chocolate in it — she watched me put the chocolate in — because it only tasted like milk and caramel.

Maybe that’s because she had me put half the caramel bottle on her drink. Half a bottle. I’m not exaggerating. She then proceeded to scrape off the whipped cream and flick it over the counter into the barista sink, and then she demanded more chocolate. After I gave her more, she asked for a heap of whipped cream and extra caramel syrup.

Related:
Bitter About The Caramel

Page 3/4,76212345...Last