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The Kind Of King Behavior That Makes Peasants Revolt

, , , , | Right | September 17, 2021

Our housekeeping department is understaffed right now, and we had about half of our occupancy check out this morning, just for tonight to be another full one. They were cleaning rooms until pretty late. I’ve had two interactions with two very different guests, both presented with less than pleasant situations at check-in. The first guest, one of our highest-level members, was understanding despite it taking an extra half-hour to get his room ready. He was lovely and I hope he has a great day.

The following guest is not so great.

Me: “Hi! Welcome to [Property] by [Company]. How can I help you?

Guest: “Checking in.”

Me: “Great! May I please see your ID and method of payment?”

I look up his name. He’s booked through a third party, pre-paid, and he’s attached his member profile to the reservation, as well. He’s a base-level member. I hand him his keys.

Me: “Everything looks good here! Is there anything else I can help you with?”

Guest: “What room type am I in? I requested an upgrade.”

Me: “Let me see… It looks like you’re booked in a double queen.”

Guest: “No.”

Me: “I’m sorry, sir?”

Guest: “I booked a king room. The girl with the brown hair told me last week that I was guaranteed [upgraded room].”

We all have brown hair.

Me: “I do apologize for the inconvenience, sir. Your reservation had already pre-assigned you this room type, and this is the only room available right now. We are completely sold out today, but I’ll see if I can—”

He throws the room keys at me.

Guest: “My company pays good money for these rooms! I don’t want to hear, ‘That’s all we have.’ I want the room I paid for!”

He just stated that his company paid for it, but whatever.

Me: “I’ll look and see what we have.”

Guest: “I’ll be back when a king is available.”

He storms out. I check our inventory, review some of the guests whose room type preferences I know, and do some finagling to get this jacka** in a king. He comes back about two hours later, and I hand him the keys.

Me: “Here are the keys to your room. King, as requested.”

Guest: “What floor am I on?”

Me: “The third floor.”

Guest: “I requested a high-level floor.”

Me: “I understand that, sir, but the room we had on the high-level floor was unacceptable to you. This is the only king remaining.”

The guest storms off again, yelling.

Guest: “Why do I even bother making the reservation if it’s not gonna be the way I booked it?!”

Upon further inspection of his reservation, the guest had booked a king room, but when he switched his arrival date, he neglected to acknowledge the fact that HE had changed his room type, though I don’t think he noticed. Yet another issue with booking through a third party.

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Alexander The Fake

, , , , | Right | September 17, 2021

One of the strangest things about working in a library is having to tell someone that, according to the reference sources available, their gold coin, china plate, oriental fan, etc. is just not valuable. At least today, we are able to pull up pictures of the item on the Internet (usually) and show the patron what experts say.

In the 1980s and early 1990s, this was not possible. We relied on various annual resources and, more importantly, a cache of names and phone numbers of antique dealers around the county.

A patron brings us an item wrapped in layers of tissue. He’s holding it gently and gingerly, cradled in both hands.

Patron: “I need some idea of how much this is worth. My great grandfather carried it with him for the whole of the Civil War.”

He unwraps the tissue to reveal a blindingly shiny gold pocket watch.

Coworker: “Well, unfortunately, I don’t think it’s worth very much.”

Patron: “How can you say that? My great grandfather carried this through the whole civil war! It must be valuable!”

Coworker: “Okay, well, I am not an expert in antiques, but given that on the back there is a stamp that reads, ‘Made In China, 1985,’ I think your great grandfather is pulling your leg about carrying it throughout the Civil War.”

Patron: “What do you mean? Are you calling my great grandfather a liar?”

Coworker: “Of course not. Perhaps he was a time traveler?”

This same patron comes in some time later with yet another of his treasures. He puts a parcel in front of me and begins to carefully unwrap it from the crisp, pure white tissue paper.

Patron: “You can’t say this isn’t valuable. Look at it! This is the sword Alexander the Great carried with him when he was conquering the known world!”

Me: “Um. I don’t want to burst your bubble, but I don’t think that’s the case.”

Patron: “What do you mean?”

Me: “Well, first of all, I don’t think Alexander’s sword had ‘Veni, Vidi, Vici’ carved into it. That was Julius Caesar’s thing.”

Patron: “So Alexander had Julius Caesar’s sword?”

Me: “No, I am sorry. I don’t think so.”

Patron: “Well, how can you tell? It could have happened.”

Me: “I guess it could have, but the thing is, when Alexander the Great was alive, their swords were made of metals like iron, and a sword made from Styrofoam would not have been much protection.”

This guy was in his mid-thirties, and for as long as I worked in that department, the day wasn’t complete until he brought in one of the many famed treasures he wanted to sell.

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Just Tell The Family You Went To Borders

, , , | Right | September 17, 2021

My mom and I are from Germany and we went to visit our relatives in Canada. They live close to the American border.

One day, we wanted to drive to a tourist attraction. There was road work ahead and our lane suddenly ended. I had to drive left into some kind of parking lot because I was unfamiliar with the road. We were confused and tried to get back on the road. I wanted to take a road that could get us back. My mom thought otherwise.

Mom: “Don’t take that road, I don’t think that’s a good idea.”

I wanted to follow her advice but couldn’t. Then, we saw a strange official sign.

The next thing we knew, we were on a single road on a bridge going to the US. We were both horrified. There were cars behind me and I couldn’t go back. Fortunately, I was able to turn my car around and avoid entering the US, but we still had to wait in line to enter Canada — and without our passports; they were safely back at the house.

It was so embarrassing to tell the customs officers sheepishly what happened.

Me: “We took a wrong turn and never wanted to leave Canada.”

He looked at us sternly. We could only give our German ID, which he couldn’t read, of course. Then, we had to park and wait in an office. The people there looked also very unimpressed. The last person, finally, was really nice.

Worker: “Don’t worry about it; this happens a few times a week. But next time, please take your passport with you.”

We were really relieved. But we never told our relatives, although our trip was about an hour and a half shorter than planned.

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Try A Bar Next Time, Buddy

, , , , , | Working | September 16, 2021

I just started working for an international company. Our company uses a messaging app to communicate directly across locations. During my first week, an employee from another location messages me.

Employee: “Hi! I’m [Employee]. I’m at [Location] but I’m equal to [My Boss].”

Me: “Oh, nice! What do you think?”

Employee: “I like it. I’m glad you’re here.”

Me: “Yeah, I’m just starting out.”

Employee: “It’s nice to have someone to be with.”

I’m starting to get a weird feeling.

Me: “Yeah, I’ve met some great people at [My Location]. They’re really helpful.”

Employee: “I can help, too, if you need. We can be together.”

Although he’s said nothing outright inappropriate, something about him unnerves me.

Me: “Well, I have [Supervisor] here, so I’ll probably go to him, but I appreciate the offer.”

Employee: “We can cuddle up and get through work together.”

There it is.

Me: “No.”

He says nothing for a while and then comes back

Employee: “Are you smart? You have to be smart to do this job.”

Me: “Yes, I am. I have work to do. Enjoy your day.”

An hour later…

Employee: “I’ll try not to think of you.”

Me: “We can be colleagues who talk about work, but I will not engage in anything else. Is that clear?”

Employee: “I saw your ID photo and thought you should know you’re beautiful. That’s all.”

I did not respond. Instead, I saved the whole conversation to my computer and emailed it to my supervisor, his supervisor, and human resources. He was fired.

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What Isn’t On The Menu Tonight Is Tolerance For Your BS

, , , | Right | September 16, 2021

I work at a restaurant that, while not exclusively vegan, offers vegan versions of many of our dishes. We offer the vegan menu separately. A group of four comes in consisting of an older and a younger couple. I go to seat them and ask if they want vegan menus in addition to the standard ones.

Older Man: *Scoffs* “Of course not!”

Younger Woman: *Looking slightly annoyed* “I’d like one, please.”

The older man looks at her like she has three heads.

Older Man: “Why?”

Younger Woman: “Honestly, because you always make a big production at the very idea of a meal without any meat, and it’s getting really irritating. Plus, it’s my dinner; no one’s forcing you to eat it!”

The older man went quiet, the other members of the group didn’t seem to have any strong opinions, and they were happily seated with their respective menus.

When I passed by the table later, the younger woman was enjoying her clearly vegan meal. People order from our vegan menu for a lot of reasons, but it was the first time I’d seen spite as one of them.

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