I Don’t Work Here, Does Not Work Here, Part 33

, , , | | Right | May 25, 2018

(I work at a sports shop, and have gone straight from there to an electronics shop, so I can help my dad find the cable he needs. My uniform is very distinct, a bright red polo — with the shop’s name in very big letters on the back — and navy joggers, so as to look sporty. The uniform in the electronics shop is a black dress shirt and dress trousers, so as to look professional. I am currently facing a wall, so I have my back to everyone in the shop. I’m quite irritable due to having a bad shift and having no sleep, and it must be noted I am weird with people touching me depending on how much I know them — strangers often get shouted at and hurt. My dad very rarely intervenes because he know I can handle myself, but will do something if he sees it’s getting out of control. We’re both big swearers.)

Me: “Hey, Dad, pass me that—”

Customer #1: “Excuse me. Can you help me?”

Me: *ignoring them, as I don’t think they’re talking to me* “Pass us that one; I can’t see it from here.”

Customer #1: *taps my shoulder* “EXCUSE ME!”

Me: *CLEARLY irritated by being touched* “What? I don’t work here.”

Customer #1: “I want that TV.”

Me: “Good for you.”

(I turn back around to help my dad, but the customer grabs my shoulder, so I push away from him a little.)

Me: “What the f*** are you playing at? Touch me again and—”

Customer #1: “I want that TV; it’s your job to get it for me. I want to speak to your manager.”

Me: “Well, go into f****** town and talk to her, then.”

Customer #1: “GO GET HER FOR ME!”

Dad: “Listen, mate, she doesn’t work here; she’s helping me because she’s my f****** daughter. Don’t talk to her like that.”

Customer #1: “I’m a paying customer. I demand to speak to your manager.”

Me: “Then go into town and speak to her. I don’t work here; she doesn’t work here. Nobody I work with works here, because I work at [Shop]. Leave me alone before I call the police for harassment and assault.”

Customer #1: “FINE! I’ll find your manager.”

(We don’t see him again. Three minutes later, my back is still facing the shop.)

Customer #2: “Excuse me, miss.”

Me: “Not again.” *turns around*

Customer #2: “Oh! You don’t work here; I’m so sorry.”

Me: “Oh, thank f***.”

Related:
I Don’t Work Here, Does Not Work Here, Part 32
I Don’t Work Here, Does Not Work Here, Part 31
I Don’t Work Here, Does Not Work Here, Part 30

Make Sure Some Of Those Vitamins Helps Eyesight

, , , , | | Right | May 25, 2018

(I’m currently working the self-checkouts when a woman calls me over.)

Customer: “Hey, I’m having a problem over here!”

Me: “What’s wrong?”

Customer: “These vitamins rang up wrong! They’re supposed to be buy one, get one free!”

Me: “Looks like they’re ringing up at buy one, get one half-off. Let me check the ad.”

(She has eight bottles of vitamins; two are a different brand from the rest. Her two brands, however, are clearly listed as buy one, get one half-off. The ones that would be free are an entirely different brand.)

Me: “Okay, here they are.” *shows her the ad* “The ones that you have are half-off; these other brands are the free ones.”

Customer: “Well, your signs say differently! The ad must be wrong! I’m going to go back to look at them!”

(She storms over there, leaving her three sons with me. After a few minutes, she comes back with two vitamins from the brands that were free.)

Customer: “I need you to take all those vitamins off; I’m getting these, instead.”

About To Be Some Banana Drama

, , , , , | | Right | May 25, 2018

(Our produce department has recently started selling dragonfruit, a rare sight around here. Needless to say, they get a lot of confused looks. I’m stocking nearby when a customer calls me over to ask about them. I tell them all I can about how to eat them, what they look like inside, how they taste, etc.)

Customer: “Where do they come from?”

Me: “South and Central America and Southeast Asia, mostly, I think. These…” *reading label* “…are from Vietnam, actually.”

Customer: *tosses the fruit back in disgust* “Are you f****** kidding me? Hell no!”

Me: “Um… Okay.”

Customer: “And another thing, you got any tomatoes that did not come from Mexico? All yours say they came from Mexico. I want American tomatoes.”

Me: “I think we have some from Canada right now.”

Customer: *with disgust* “I said American. You just wait until Donald Trump fixes this; y’all ain’t gonna have none of this foreign s***!”

Me: “I take it you don’t like bananas, either?”

Customer: “Yeah, I do. Why?”

Me: “Nothing. You have a nice day.”

Attitude Fail Results In No Sale

, , , , | | Right | May 25, 2018

(I work at a grocery store, and we have a seasonal garden centre set up during May and June. The only people trained on cash registers are cashiers, so since the area is run by the produce department, they need our help. This is my favourite area to work in, so I work about 23 out of 28 hours a week out there, and am pretty well-versed in prices and packaging. I have just finished ringing up a customer with a large amount of flowers; she is busy putting them back on her flatbed cart while I deal with the next customer, an older man. He has two bags of what appear to be the same thing on his cart, but we do have two products in exactly the same yellow packaging, just with a different name printed on the front.)

Customer: “Just this please.”

Me: “Okay! Are they both soil?”

Customer: *in an indignant tone* “Yes. That’s what it says in big black letters.”

Me: *in a cheerful tone* “Oh, yes, I can see the top bag. I just wanted to make sure the other one is the same, because the peat moss is in the exact same bag.”

Customer: *very rudely* “Yes. It is the same.”

Me: *still cheerful* “Okay, just checking! I don’t want to charge you for the wrong thing by accident!”

(I scan the top bag of soil twice.)

Me: *still friendly* “Okay, sir, your total is [amount].”

Customer: “You know what? Your attitude is atrocious. I’m not buying this at all.”

(He then storms away, leaving his cart behind. This is the type of joke that elderly people tend to think is funny to pull on me, so I wait for him to turn around laughing… He doesn’t. The previous girl is still loading her cart, and she looks at me with a shocked expression, which I return.)

Me: “I honestly didn’t think I had an attitude at all… Did I? I didn’t mean to.”

Girl: “Not in the slightest. I don’t know what his problem was.”

Me: “Some people…”

No Longer A Family-Friendly Store

, , , , , | | Right | May 24, 2018

(It’s 9:00 pm, which is our closing time. Our store has two entrances: one main one in the front, and one on the side that leads easily back to the main pathway of the mall. When we close, we close the front entrance so customers can finish up and exit on our side entrance. I just finished ringing up a customer.)

Me: “Have a good night, ma’am. Just to let you know, our front entrance is closed, but you can exit through our side doors.”

(The customer gives me a terrified look as if I just told her I have taken her family hostage.)

Customer: *puts her hand on her heart* “You mean I can’t go out and be with my family?!” *shakes her head looking very worried* “Oh, that’s not good… That’s not good at all.”

Me: “Oh, no, ma’am. That entrance leads right back to the mall; just go left and you will see where you first came in.”

Customer: *cheery* “Oh! Okay!”

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