Never Tried Fast Food Before

, , , | | Right | July 17, 2019

(I work at an independent fast food restaurant. An older couples walk in.)

Me: “Hi! Welcome to [Restaurant]. How may I help you?”

Wife: “Table for two.”

Me: “You actually order up here, and then seat yourself wherever you’d like!”

Wife: *very displeased* “How would I order up here with no menu? And how are we supposed to know where to sit if you don’t show us?”

Me: “We actually have our menu right above the register here; it has everything we serve o—”

Wife: “No. This isn’t proper. I want us to be seated with menus, like a real restaurant.”

(The husband sighs and mouths, “Sorry,” to me.)

Me: “Ma’am, we’ll take your order up here and then bring it out to you when it’s ready.”

Husband: *very upset with her* “Please just order, dear. Don’t argue with the young man about the tables.”

Wife: “No, I want to speak to your manager.”

(I go back to our office space to get her.)

Manager: “Hi. What seems to be the problem, ma’am?”

Wife: “Your restaurant doesn’t have hosts or menus.”

Manager: “Yup! You’re allowed to seat yourself here, and our menu is up h—”

Wife: “NO. I want a real menu!”

Manager: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but we don’t have personal menus here.”

Wife: “What an awful place. I don’t see how you have any customers. [Husband], let’s go to the car!”

Husband: “I’ll use the restroom, quick, and then I’ll be out, dear.”

(She scoffs at me and my manager and leaves.)

Husband: “I’m so sorry. Please take this; I know customers like her are hard.”

(He gave me and my manager a $25 tip a piece. He now comes in to get food without her and is one of my favorite customers!)

Making You See House Red

, , | | Right | July 17, 2019

(I work in a restaurant in a small town. The customers are generally nice, but occasionally, some people like to be awkward. This particular threesome of elderly ladies has already been rude when seated. My coworker goes to take their drink order; they order the house red. All is well, and their drinks are delivered. A few minutes later, they call me over and complain that the red is not the same bottle as on the menu.)

Customer: “Excuse me. I ordered the house red but I have been given something else.”

Me: *picks up menu* “Let me just check that… See here, it is the same. The menu says, ‘house red, [some region I can’t spell], France.’ And here on the back of the label, it says the same thing.”

Customer: “Yes, but the front of the label says something different.”

Me: “Yes, ma’am, that’s the brand of the wine; as it is the house bottle, we only state the region on the menu, not the brand.”

Customer: “But it’s different…”

Me: “I can assure you it is not; however, I can get you another bottle if you like.”

Customer: “No, thanks. The menu is obviously incorrect; I won’t get what I order, anyway. This one will have to do, but I want it free because it’s a screw cap!”

(I just nodded and went to tell my manager what had happened. They didn’t get their free bottle and they did the same act at the end of their meal when they then ordered the house white. I never knew so much fuss over cheap wine.)

 

The Gift That Keeps On Giving, As Long As It’s Delivered

, , , , , | | Right | July 17, 2019

(I’m working in customer service, answering phones and emails.)

Me:“[Company], [My Name] speaking. How may I help you?”

Customer: “I just wanted to check if my parcels were already delivered and could be picked up.”

Me: “Sure thing! Let me just check.” *he tells me his account data and I pull up his account* “It looks like there is one parcel from Amazon ready to be picked up. It was just delivered this morning.”

Customer: “Only one? I’m expecting two parcels.”

Me: “Sadly, yes. Could you tell me the second parcels tracking number so I can check the online tracking?”

Customer: “I did not get one.”

Me: “In that case, you could contact the sender and ask for it. They should be able to tell you.”

Customer: “It’s Amazon, as well. I only got the tracking number for the parcel that was delivered today. The second one is a gift.”

Me: “That’s strange. You should still get a tracking number if you have Amazon send it as a gift.”

Customer: “No. I ordered the parcel you received today and checked ‘gift.’ So, Amazon will send me a gift!”

(I had to explain to him that no, checking “gift” did not prompt Amazon to send you something for free and yes, I was sure about that. He seemed rather crestfallen and when I told my colleague about it she laughed and suggested trying it, as well.)

Rebate Debate

, , , , | | Right | July 17, 2019

(Sometimes distributors will come in and put rebates around the necks of bottles, or we’ll get shipments with rebates already attached.)

Customer: “I have a coupon for this [whiskey].”

Me: *suspicious because we rarely ever have coupons* “Okay, can I see it, please?”

Customer: *pulls out rebate that he could have left around the neck*

Me: “Oh, I’m sorry, sir. That’s a rebate. You have to mail it into the address on the back with proof of purchase and they’ll send you back the amount of the rebate.”

Customer: “What? I’m not doing that. Just give me the money off now.”

Me: “I can’t do that, sir. That rebate is from the manufacturer. It has nothing to do with this store in particular. [Major Grocery Chain] probably has bottles with the exact same rebate on them.”

Customer: “This is outrageous! You can’t put coupons on your products and then not honor them! It’s false advertising!”

Me: “Again, sir, it isn’t a coupon; it’s a rebate. And we didn’t put them on the bottles; the distributors put those out.”

Customer: “Well, I’m not mailing in this stupid thing.”

Me: “That’s your choice, sir. Do you still want this anyway?”

Customer: “Of course I still want it!”

Me: *ringing bottle up* “Do you have our loyalty card?”

Customer: “No. I don’t need another piece of plastic crowding my wallet.”

Me: “Well, we can always look your card up if you don’t like carrying it around. And it’s a free program. Anyway, your total is [price] today, sir.”

Customer: “What?! It’s supposed to be [slightly lower price]!”

Me: “Was there a big tag that had that price on it in red next to a picture of our loyalty card?”

Customer: “Yes!”

Me: “That’s the price with the loyalty card, sir. Without one, it’s full price. As I said, it’s a free card if you want to sign up and get the discount.”

Customer: “No! I don’t want your stupid card! I’m never shopping here again after this!” *continues grumbling, but swipes his credit card*

Me: “I’m sorry to hear that, sir. Have a good day.”

Customer: *throws crumpled rebate on the counter and storms out the door*

Me: *looks at rebate to see how much they were offering and turns to the shift manager behind me* “With our discount and this rebate he could have gotten that bottle for better than half price.”

Manager: “You can’t fix stupid, [My Name].”

He’s So Not Ready For Family-Owned Chinese Restaurants

, , | | Right | July 17, 2019

(I’m at a small, friendly, family-owned restaurant where we all know the owners and their children and some of their family, including an eight-year-old son. Also, they don’t do tips here. There are sheets of order forms on each table. One customer starts waving the order form and the boy comes over to take it.)

Customer: “No, kid.”

Boy: “My parents are the owners; I can take it to the kitchen.”

Customer: “Why do you work here? Why aren’t you in school?”

Boy: “It’s a half-day today and I’m just helping out.”

Me: “It’s okay; let [Boy] take it. We all know him.”

Customer: “Why would anyone let kids work here?”

Me: “He’s the owners’ youngest son.”

Customer: “And they put him to work already?”

Me: “No, he’s just helping because he is here. He doesn’t have hours or salary.”

Customer: “Then that’s just illegal. To have a kid work and also get no salary? Does he get tips?”

Me: “No, there are no tips here. Check the signs.”

(I’ve noticed the boy has gone to get his mom and returned.)

Mom: “Hi. My name is [Mom], and I’m own this place with my husband.”

Customer: “Why do you let your kid work here? For no pay! And no tips?!”

Mom: “Most of us working here are family, and we pay good salary. Also, my son isn’t exactly working here; he’s just helping us.”

Customer: “He’s still working!”

Mom: “Just helping. He can help as much or as little as he wants.”

(At this moment, a few other customers all chime in saying it’s fine.)

Customer: “This is ridiculous!”

(He stood up and just left.)

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