Not In Line And Out Of Line, Part 3

, , , , | Right | November 18, 2018

(I’m standing in line to checkout at a local home furnishings store. It’s the holidays, so naturally the line is long even though both registers are going as quickly as they can despite many customers with large, complicated orders and many items needing to be wrapped. I overhear an employee nearby arguing with another customer.)

Customer: “But I need to check out now! That girl over there said she’d be right with me! My husband’s locked himself out of the house!”

Employee: “I understand you’re in a hurry, but I can’t allow you to jump the line. These other customers have been waiting patiently.”

Customer: “But there’s an empty register!”

Employee: “I’m sorry, but that one’s down for the moment. Please go back to the end of the line. They’ll be with you as soon as possible.”

Customer: “Why can’t you just check me out now? I’m in a hurry!”

Employee: “I understand that, but so are many other people. I’m sorry, there’s nothing I can do.”

(Throughout this whole exchange, the employee’s been nothing but polite even though the argument is clearly starting to frazzle her.)

Employee: “Look, I’ll make you a deal. I’ll check you out right now if you go to every single person in the line and explain to them why you’re getting to cut all of them.”

Customer: “I’m not going to do that!”

Employee: “Then please go to the end of the line. My coworkers will be with you as soon as they can.”

Customer: “Fine! You’ve just lost a sale!” *she storms out*

(The kicker was that even though the line was long, it was moving well. In the time she’d spent arguing with the employee, she probably could’ve paid and been out the door!)

Not In Line And Out Of Line, Part 2
Not In Line And Out Of Line

Harry Potter Has A Sister

, , , , | Right | November 18, 2018

I was at the doctor’s office for my appointment, and I just got finished. When my Mom and I were up at the desk to schedule another appointment, the receptionist was on the phone. I don’t know how the conversation started, but the receptionist thought the person on the other end said “cellar.” After a few times, saying “cellar,” she realized that they said “SHOWER.”

So, she stated to the person, “Well, that probably explains why you were confused, when I said, ‘I hope you’re feeding her down there…'”

This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 82

, , , , | Right | November 18, 2018

(My store got an ATM installed and a sign is put outside advertising this. Unfortunately, it says “FREE CASH HERE” rather than “free cash withdrawal” and we get customers thinking it’s funny to ask for their free cash on a daily basis. But this guy was the worst.)

Customer: “So where is my free cash?”

Coworker: *laughs awkwardly*

Customer: “Why are you laughing? Your sign says free cash. I want it.”

Coworker: “Oh, sorry, I thought you were joking. The sign is about our ATM at the back of the store; it doesn’t charge for withdrawals.”

Customer: “So, if I use it, I get free cash? It won’t take anything from my account?”

Coworker: “No, sir, it will. But you won’t be charged extra just for using it. If you take out £10 your account will be charged £10, instead of £12.50 because of a fee for using the machine.”

Customer: “But the sign says free cash. That’s not free!”

(I’ve been working within earshot and decide to step in even though my coworker didn’t call for me.)

Me: “Is everything okay, sir?”

Customer: “No. You have a sign saying I can get free cash here, but she says it’ll still go out of my account. That’s false advertising.”

Me: “I agree, sir. Unfortunately, we have no control over the machine or the sign; we just house it. Our manager has spoken to the people who provided both about it and they won’t change it.”

Customer: “Well, you should give me something out of your tills.”

Me: “I can’t do that. As I explained, we are not responsible for the ATM or the sign. If you like I can find the name of the company who provided them and you could contact them?”

Customer: “Well, that’s a start. I still think you should give me some free cash, though.”

(He continues trying to pressure my coworker to give him money while I go and get the name and contact number of the company. He snatches it from my hand and storms out. I realise one of our regulars has heard the whole thing and us shaking her head, looking bemused.)

Regular: “Did he genuinely think he was going to get free cash? I thought he was joking at first but now I’m not sure. What company makes money by giving it away?”

(We never saw that guy again, and the sign never changed.)


This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 80
This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 79

Trumpeting On About His Pages

, , , , , | Right | November 18, 2018

(I am working the desk when an elderly man approaches. He hands me a piece of scratch paper with a website written on it and asks me to go there on my computer. Mind you, he has already had me look up a music festival, and become frustrated when I couldn’t find a map, directions, location, and contact information within the first thirty seconds.)

Me: “Okay, this website sells gifts for musicians. Was that what you wanted?”

Patron: “Yeah, yeah. Give me whatever you’ve got on there.”

Me: “Okay… Well, it’s a very large website. What did you want from it?”

Patron: “I want trumpets. They got any trumpet stuff on there?”

Me: *types “trumpet” into search bar* “Yes, they have trumpets.”

Patron: “Okay, great! Just print off whatever you’ve got.”

Me: “Sir, there are nine pages of trumpet-related merchandise here.”

Patron: “Well, then give me the nine pages!”

Me: “I’m not allowed to print off that much—”

Patron: “Then print off whatever you can and give it to me!”

Me: “Sir, this is an online store. If you want to buy from them, you’ll need to get on a computer and browse their inventory yourself.”

Patron: “I don’t know how to use a computer. Just give me whatever they’ve got.”

Me: “Our library offers free computer classes. I could register you.”

Patron: “I don’t have that kind of time! Just get me the nine pages!”

Me: “Sir, even if I did that, you wouldn’t be able to purchase any of the items. You would have to go online and purchase them from the store.”

Patron: “Well, if you can’t do it, just say so!”

Me: “I can’t do it, sir.”

(He left in a huff.)

Should Have Waved A Warning Flag

, , , , , | Right | November 18, 2018

(I am in law enforcement and my coworkers and I, all in uniform, stop by the convenience store before heading to our location for the day. I am driving the van and am waiting to make a left turn into the parking lot from the street. A pickup truck backs up a little bit, making room for me to enter the lot. Both my coworker and I wave in gratitude towards the driver. We park and enter the store. Two minutes later, a man enters the store.)

Man: “Excuse me, are you driving the white van out there?”

Me: *concerned someone had hit it or was breaking in* “Yes, sir, is something wrong?”

Man: “I let you pull in and you didn’t even acknowledge me!”

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, but I did wave to—”

Man: “I am a veteran, I’ll have you know!”

Me: “Sir, I did wave thank—”

Man: “I don’t care if you’re with [Agency]! You are not above the law!! You are not above the law!”

(He then stormed out. My only guess is that he was looking in his rear-view mirror when my coworker and I waved thanks. Even if I hadn’t waved, not acknowledging someone for doing something polite is not illegal.)

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