Seeking Help From The .Doc

, , , , | | Right | July 23, 2019

(The library I work for runs a tech help session for people struggling with their devices. One of my regulars copies every article she sees into Word and names them “Doc[keysmash of numbers].” Unsurprisingly, she can’t find any of them when she wants them and is upset about that. Today, I have her going through all her Doc files and renaming them properly so she can find them.)

Customer: “What’s this one? Ten ways to increase your sex drive. I don’t think I need that one anymore, but you might need it. How old is your little one, six? You should have another by now. You definitely need this. Or is it your husband that needs this? I can email it to either one of you!”

Unfiltered Story #159077

, , , | | Unfiltered | July 23, 2019

(I am 16 years old, brown-skinned, doing work-experience at a childcare centre. By coincidence, one of the full-time workers who is a middle-aged white woman, has the same name as me. On my second day, one of the children come up to me)

Child: Hi, I’m Thomas, what’s your name?
Me: I’m Tina. I’m going to be here for the next few weeks.
Thomas: Cool! (points to a set of blocks) can you help me build that into a road please?
Me: sure!
(Just then, my co-worker with the same name comes over)
Co-worker: Thomas, it’s snack time! You can play again later.
(Thomas looks from me to her with a confused look on his face)
Me: what’s wrong?
Thomas: If you’re both Tina, why is your face brown and her face white?

What If The Trainee Hadn’t Been There?

, , , , | | Right | July 22, 2019

(I’m at my first job and I’ve been tasked with training a new recruit about how we clean the restaurant floor. We’ve just finished the main dining area and are moving on to restrooms.)

Me: “Okay, now we’ll clean the restrooms.”

Trainee: “How do we clean the female restrooms? I mean we’re both guys; I don’t want to get in trouble or anything.”

Me: “Well, we still have to go in there, so first we have to carefully check and make sure that we are not interrupting anyone in there. Here; I’ll show you.”

(I open the female restroom door by about three inches and knock on it.)

Me: “Hello, is anyone currently in here?”

Woman: *annoyed tone* “Yes!”

(I turn to face the trainee whilst still keeping the door slightly ajar so that the female occupant can still hear us.)

Me: “Okay, there’s still somebody in there, so we’ll clean the male and disability restrooms for now and check the female restroom again later.”

(We proceed to clean the male and disability restrooms, and afterward, we are able to clean the now-vacated female restroom. Later into the day, I’m called into the manager’s office.)

Manager: “We got a complaint from a woman who came in here earlier.”

Me: “Okay.”

Manager: “She says you tried to force your way into the female restrooms, and that you were physically trying to force the cubicle door open while she was in there.”

Me: “I… I was there to clean the toilets with [Trainee]. I only opened the door enough for my voice to be heard. I never set foot in there. Doesn’t the security camera show that?”

Manager: “Well, you see, the thing is… that camera doesn’t work, and neither do the ones in the kitchen or car park. Only the cameras in the dining area actually capture security footage.”

Me: “So, what happens now?”

Manager: “Well, I’ve already spoken to [Trainee] and his story checks out with what you’ve just said, so I think we’ll put this one down to crazy-lady syndrome.”

Me: “Is that all right? I mean, she’s not going to try to take this to the police or anything?”

Manager: “Nah, I think it’ll be fine. She doesn’t have any proof that it happened, and neither do we.”

Me: “I… uh… okay.”

Manager: “All right, back to work with you.”

Mom Jokes Are Just As Bad As The Dad Kind

, , , , , , , | | Working | July 22, 2019

(I am helping my mother do some shopping at our local supermarket. One of the items on our list is cat food. Frequently, my mother makes a comment to someone — customer or employee — that are looking at or dealing with the cat food display asking how come they haven’t made sparrow flavour. In this instance, an employee is restocking the cat food shelves. My mum is picking up a selection of our usual brand. When she speaks, it’s clear she’s joking.)

Mum: “I wonder when they’re going to make sparrow flavour?”

Employee: *genuinely confused and thinking she’s serious* “Sparrow flavour? I don’t think we have that. What brand is it? [Brand Mum just picked up]? I don’t think it’s in yet. I only work here two days a week.”

Mum: “Never mind.”

(We walked away and stopped a few aisles away. We look at each other for a second. I couldn’t help laughing; I couldn’t comprehend not getting the joke.)

Entitled To The Laws Of Thermodynamics

, , , , | | Right | July 22, 2019

(A customer who came through the drive-thru has returned with his bag of food, and is an obvious complainer the second he walks in the door.)

Me: “Hello, can I help you with something?”

Customer: “Yes, I came through the drive-thru about twenty minutes ago. I took my food all the way home, and it’s barely warm!”

Me: “Oh, I’m sorry, but if you don’t mind me asking, how far is it to your house from here?”

Customer: “It’s about a ten-minute drive, so I’ve had to drive twenty minutes! I think I should get some free food.”

Me: “I’m sorry for the inconvenience, but in ten minutes, the food loses a lot of its heat. I can give you new food, but unless you eat it here, it’s still going to be quite cold by the time you get home.”

Customer: “But I don’t want to eat it here! I want to eat it at home.”

Me: “I’m sorry, but the food won’t stay hot if you have to take it that far. I’m happy to replace your current food, though, because that won’t be any good anymore.”

Customer: “Fine… but give me a free ice cream cone.”

Me: “Sorry?”

Customer: “For all the inconvenience. Jeez.”

(He ended up calling the store again later that night, whining about it being cold. The managers gave him the reason, but he simply wouldn’t accept it.)

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