Couldn’t Understand It Any Less

, , , | Working | January 22, 2020

(I am on a cruise, at the bar buying a drink. I’m not a big drinker and want to pace myself.)

Me: “Could I have a Mojito, but could you only use half a nip of rum, please?”

Bartender: “Sorry, what did you say?”

Me: “A Mojito with half a nip of rum.”

Bartender: “I don’t understand ‘half a nip.’”

Me: “A nip is 30 ml, half is 15 ml.”

Bartender: “I know that, but what do you mean?”

Me: “I mean I want half the amount of rum that usually goes into Mojito.”

Bartender: “Oh, my God, sorry. I’m just so used to people asking for more alcohol; you’re the first to ask for less.”

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Refusing To Leave His Post

, , , , | Working | January 21, 2020

I used the postage tracker to see where a couple of packages were. They said they had been delivered to the local post office and I had to go collect the items. There were three packages, and the text message said they had all been delivered. 

I went to the post office and asked for my packages, showing the assistant my text. He found two packages and said the third wasn’t there. I showed him the text message again and asked him politely to check again. He refused. A line was growing behind me and I was starting to feel embarrassed but I believed my item was there because the text had never let me down before. I asked two more times, and he said no, the item was certainly not there, and he continued to refuse checking a second time. 

By this point, I’d become that annoying customer who won’t leave, and I said if he checked one more time and it came up empty, then I’d go. I was mortified and felt bad for the customers behind me, but I believed I was right and I didn’t want to come back another day for a package that had already been delivered. 

He checked. 

He came back with my remaining package. 

No apology. 

I walked out feeling victorious.

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Don’t Bank On Them Coming Back  

, , , , , | Right | January 21, 2020

(My coworker has just finished scanning and bagging a customer’s groceries, which have all been stacked into his trolley. The customer goes to pay, but it doesn’t work. At first, he seems quite nice about it. I am watching from the register opposite.)

Customer: “This is a new card. Maybe it hasn’t been activated yet. I’ll just run down to the bank and check.”

(The bank chain in question has a location in the same shopping centre as my store, and is about a two-minute walk away. It’s not unheard of for cards to not work and for customers to run down to the bank to sort it out. They’re rarely gone longer than 15 or 20 minutes before they come back and pay.)

Coworker: “No worries. I can save your transaction and you can pay when you get back. You are coming back, right?”

Customer: *suddenly very stern and angry* “No!”

(And with that, he marched out of the store, leaving my coworker speechless and with a trolley stacked high with groceries to deal with.)

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Smells Like Teenage Cleaning Products  

, , , , | Working | January 20, 2020

(This happens at an in-home cleaning products party when I am 23 but look much younger. As the room fills up, I realize that there aren’t enough chairs and give up my seat for the host as it’s her home and she’s much older than I am. I sit on the floor. Here are the interactions between myself and the lady who is presenting and selling the products.)

Sales Rep: *obviously mistaking me for a teenager as she’s handing out order forms and sees me sitting on the floor* “Did you want one, too?”

Me: *knowing I’m going to order around $700 worth of cleaning products* “Yes.”

(Later, after filling out my order form.)

Me: “Hi, I’ve filled this out but [item] is on sale for [cheaper price] than the price listed. How do I adjust that on the form?”

Sales Rep: *not listening to me at all* “What you do, sweetie, is add up the prices and put the total here at the bottom.”

Me: “Yes, I’ve done that for everything else but what about this item that’s on sale? Where do I record the sale price when it’s already listed as [normal price]?”

Sales Rep: *finally paying attention* “Oh, sorry. Wow, you’ve ordered a lot of stuff here.”

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The Unkind Leading The Blind

, , , , | Working | January 20, 2020

(My dad travels a lot for work. He is also practically blind without his glasses. One night, while asleep in a hotel room, he thinks he hears one of us kids crying and stumbles out the door of his room to find us. It is then that he wakes up properly and realises he is locked out of his room, without his glasses, in an unfamiliar corridor, in an unfamiliar hotel, wearing only his undies. For fifteen minutes, he gropes around walls, doors, and fire hydrants until he eventually finds his way to the stairs, and then along another corridor until he finally gets to the reception desk. There’s no one there — it’s the middle of the night — but he can hear some noise in the back room.)

Dad: “Hello? 

(Two employees come out, quietly chortling, and look unsurprised to see Dad standing there in his smalls.)

Dad: “Sorry, mate, I just need some help getting back into my room; I’ve managed to lock myself out.”

Employee: “Yeah, mate, we’ve been watching you on the security camera and were wondering how long it’d take you to get down here.” *laughs hysterically*

(Fortunately, my dad has a wicked sense of humour and happily tells this story to anyone.)

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