Widow Fight!

, , , , | Related | October 19, 2019

(My grandmother always has to be worse off than anyone else; she cannot understand that others have valid feelings. She and my father’s elder sister are having a disagreement one day, when she decides to pull the widow card; my grandfather passed five years ago.)

Grandmother: “You have no idea what it feels like to have lost your husband and be a widow for the rest of your life.” 

Aunt: “I lost my husband when I was forty.”

Grandmother: “That doesn’t count; you should be used to it by now.”

(I had never seen my aunt so angry before.)

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Unfiltered Story #172084

, , | Unfiltered | October 19, 2019

Ive worked in a small department store for about 3 years and have the most experience of any of the employees despite me being the youngest on staff. An older lady in a bright purple feathery hat is wandering around looking confused so I offer to help.
Me: Hi, How are you today? Is there anything I can do to help?
Old lady: I need a jug for boiling water.
Me: A kettle?
Old lady: NO! My friend has one, Its a jug you boil water in
Me: *confused, takes her to our kettle section* Is this what you were looking for?
Old Lady: Yes that’s exactly it, Why couldn’t you just take me here in the first place?
Me: Is there anything else I can help you with?
Old lady: I need something to put on my ironing board, a towel or something
Me: We have a range of ironing board covers *show her a few different types*
Me: Are these what you were looking for?
Old lady: Take them out.
Me: I’m sorry?
Old lady: Take them out right now!
Me: *assuming she means the ironing board covers I inform her of the store policy about unfortunately not being able to take items out of the package and resell them*
Old lady: You know what? You are awful, The other girls are so much better than you. I guess that’s what happens when these places hire stupid kids to do things. Your heart just isn’t in the right place. That’s your problem dear you don’t have the heart for treating people with respect. You’re all just lazy freeloaders wanting money for no work, You don’t even know what a water jug is. Lazy.
*she leaves muttering about today’s youth having no heart and finds one of my coworkers who is on her first ever shift and spends the next hour telling her about my poor service and how I’d never even boiled water before. She eventually convinces the poor girl to take 3 different covers out of the packages without purchasing any of them.

It’s Mrs. Fraud!

, , , , , | Right | October 18, 2019

(This is back in the days before chip and PIN. A customer comes up to pay for her purchase with a card. I check the signature and it’s completely different, but not just different writing, a different name. I turn the card over to check the name, and it’s distinctly a man’s name, and she is an unremarkable middle-aged woman.)

Me: “This isn’t your card.”

Customer: “No, it’s my husband’s.”

Me: “Well, you can’t use it.”

(She holds up bags from half a dozen other stores and says:)

Customer: “No one else said anything.” 

(Yup, she’d spent hundreds of dollars on a card she wasn’t even pretending was hers, and no one else had noticed.)

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Unfiltered Story #172070

, , | Unfiltered | October 18, 2019

*Every November, Melbourne shuts down for the first Tuesday for Cup Day. It is officially a state holiday so we can all gamble on a horse race.
I’m not making this up.*

Me: Welcome to [store], this is [my name]. How can I help you?
Customer: Yeah, I came to your store on Tuesday to look, but you were closed.
Me: That’s right. It was Cup Day.
Customer: Yeah, but your website says your hours are 11 to 6 on a Tuesday. I checked to make sure.
Me: Yes it does. But it was Cup Day.
Customer: So how come you weren’t open?
Me: Sir, what were YOU doing away from your job on Tuesday.
Customer: It was a holiday.
Me: Yes. Yes it was. That’s why we weren’t open.
Customer: Well, I want [item]. So how do you suggest I get it?!
Me: We have a website, sir. You previously mentioned browsing it, so just go back to it and purchase what you want through there. We deliver nationwide and delivery is free after the [value] level.
Customer: I want [unique and very expensive item]. Can you hold that for me?
Me: Unfortunately that wouldn’t be fair to other customers who may also want it and are willing to pay up front. But if you purchase it online, we can hold on to it until you’re ready to pick it up. Or we can have a courier bring it to you.
Customer: So how do I buy it now?
Me: Through the website, sir.

When Everything Tastes Like Chicken

, , , , | Related | October 16, 2019

(I get home after lunchtime and notice that there is some takeaway food in my kitchen and my husband’s annoying brother is there. He uses generic terms for just about everything and expects people to know what he’s talking about.)

Brother: “There’s some fish and chips left if you’re hungry.”

(I know that he nor my husband would never eat or buy fish, and that in the past he’s tried ridiculing me after I bought fish and chips because I should have known that he meant anything but fish when he said fish.)

Me: “Is there actually any fish?”

Brother: “What? No… Yuck, there’s chicken pieces.”

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