She Has Bad Jeans

, , , , , , | Related | April 25, 2019

(I have a cousin who I’ve never really been close to, for good reason. I’m 12 years old while she is 14. I’m out shopping with her and my auntie — her mum.)

Cousin: “Oh, these jeans.” *points to $200 jeans* “I want them.”

Auntie: “What? No. Sorry, we can’t afford them right now. Your birthday is coming up; maybe you can get them then.”

Cousin: *yelling* “NO! I want them now!”

(People are staring.)

Auntie: “I’m sorry. We just can’t afford them.”

(My cousin then throws herself on the ground and starts kicking and screaming, throwing a tantrum like a two-year-old until my auntie gives in and buys them for her. From then on, I refuse to go shopping with them. Fast forward twenty years: I have moved interstate for work. Along with my boyfriend, I’m visiting my parents for their 40th wedding anniversary which is a family BBQ. My cousin, auntie, and uncle are there. After dinner, my boyfriend gets down on one knee and proposes to me. Before I can even respond:)

Cousin: “NO! NO! THIS IS NOT HAPPENING!”

(Everyone turns to look at her.)

Auntie: “What’s wrong?”

Cousin: *to me* “You can’t get engaged.”

Me: “What?”

Cousin: “I’m the older, prettier, smarter one. I’m better than you; I should get married first.”

(My whole family is in shock. I’m sick of her temper tantrums and thinking she’s better than me, so I decide to stand up for myself.)

Me: “Just because you’re a stuck-up, self-centered b**** doesn’t mean you get to dictate when I get engaged or married.” *to my boyfriend* “Of course, I’ll marry you!”

(My cousin threw a glass bowl full of punch through a glass door, and then threw herself on the ground crying and screaming that it was so unfair. My uncle had to pick her up and carry her out to their car, while we were left to deal with the cleanup at the ruined anniversary/engagement party. My cousin ended up at the ER to get stitches for cuts from the broken glass door. She wasn’t invited to my wedding, and I’m not surprised to say she’s still single and none of my family speaks to her.)

Common Sense Takes A Vacation

, , , | Right | April 23, 2019

(I’ve just called a patient to advise him that he missed his monthly appointment, to let him know he will still be charged, and possibly to rebook for him, too.)

Patient: “Why am I being charged for this?! I wasn’t even in the country!”

Me: “I’m sorry sir, but there’s a 24-hour cancellation policy.”

Patient: “Well, that’s stupid! You should have known I was on holidays and cancelled the appointment for me!”

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, but did you let someone here know? If you did and it wasn’t cancelled for you, I might be able to—“

Patient: “No?! Why would I do that?!”

Unfiltered Story #147642

, , | Unfiltered | April 22, 2019

(I’m an adult and still live with my parents. My Mother is slightly smaller than me and she gets MY hand me downs. I had put on a tiny bit of weight recently and as such quite a few clothes didn’t fit and my mother was going through them.)

Mother: *holding up a shirt with a constellation Kittycorn that had pompoms on it* “Oooh I love this one! I’m going to try it on.

Me: “Go for it, Ma.”

Mother: *comes out wearing it and it playing with the pompoms* “These are distracting, how did they not bother you?”

Me: *laughing*

(A few days later:)

Mother: “Look what is my new pajama top!” *comes in wearing the shirt*

Me: “Does it not bother you?”

(I sleep on my stomach so I meant having something lumpy under you.)

Mother: *playing with them again* “They don’t distract me while I’m sleeping.”

Is This An “Oof” Or A “Yikes”?

, , , , , | Related | April 21, 2019

My mum’s the bad guy in this. For my 18th birthday, my mum and step-dad took me to a restaurant for dinner. They didn’t have table service, so my mum went to the counter to order for everyone while my step-dad and I found a table.

We sat down at a table for four and were soon joined by an elderly lady we didn’t know. She just smiled and said she couldn’t wait for dinner. Instantly, we both realised she likely had Alzheimer’s and so we remained polite and friendly while waiting for someone to find her.

Unfortunately, Mum came back first. With arms crossed and a frown on her face, she started berating this poor lady. Any time step-dad or I tried to interrupt, she’d just get louder. The poor older lady was clearly confused and near tears.

Mum’s yells attracted the lady’s husband, who apologised on her behalf and explained and confirmed that she did, in fact, have Alzheimer’s and had wandered away while he’d been ordering their food. Thankfully, Mum kept quiet after that.

It was a very awkward dinner and not the last time Mum has gone off at someone who was innocent. The worst part about it was that at that time, Mum was working as a carer for the aged.

An Even Odder Request Than Usual

, , , | Right | April 20, 2019

(I work at a metal supplier. We have an “Odds and Ends” rack in our shop that has short and damaged metal sections and plates, with the most expensive item usually around $5.00. A customer sees a small bit of plate with a price tag of $5.00 and puts it on the counter.)

Me: “Hey, mate, that’s all for today?”

Customer: “Yeah, should get me out of trouble.”

Me: “No problems. That’ll be $5. Did you want a receipt for that?”

Customer: “Nah, mate, I want it for free.”

Me: “Sorry?”

Customer: “I want it for free; it’s a worthless piece.”

Me: “Sorry, mate, if it was worthless it would have gone in the scrap bin which got emptied this morning.”

Customer: “Come on. Show a bit of charity.”

Me: “Well, mate, this is a business, not a charity. If you want charity, there is a [Charity] down the road.”

(I take the piece off the counter.)

Customer: “Whatever.”

(The customer grabs a $5 note out of his wallet and drops it on the ground.)

Customer: “There you go. Come around and grab your precious $5 and give me my piece.”

Me: “You haven’t paid for it yet. You’ve dropped your money on the ground; you mind picking it up for me?”

Customer: “There’s no respect these days from customer service people.” *grabs the note and puts it on the counter*

Me: “Respect is a two-way street; you get what you give.’ *hands him his piece* “Have a good day and we hope to see you again.”

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