They’re Not The Only One With A Child

, , , , , , | Right | December 10, 2018

(I am serving a customer when another customer bypasses the other three people in line and stands next to the first customer. Usually, customers who want to ask questions do this.)

Me: *while packing my customer’s sales* “Hi. Do you have a question?”

Customer #1: “No, I’m in a hurry and I need to be served next.”

Me: “Sorry, but you need to join the line.”

Customer #1: “But I said I was in a hurry; it’s almost time for me to pick up my child from school and I’m going to be late. You need to serve me next.”

Me: “It’s not me you have to ask; there are other people waiting here, too.”

Customer #1: *to next customer in line* “Will you let me in?”

Customer #2: “No.”

Customer #1: “But I need to pick up my child.”

Customer #2: “I need to pick up my child, too.”

(She turns to the next customer.)

Customer #3: “No, I need to pick up my child, too.”

(Followed by:)

Customer #4: “No, you should have thought about that before you spent the last hour in here shopping.”

Sounds Like She Needs That Other Seven Eighths

, , | Right | December 9, 2018

(I work in a cafe, which gets very busy. A lady orders a coffee from a register separate from the cafe, and comes over to tell me that she wants her coffee to be 1/8th strength. I am already a bit flustered, since there are twenty orders to get through. Knowing that this is not enough coffee to dissolve the five sugars that she has ordered, I ask her if she is sure that that is what she wants.)

Customer: “YES! ALL YOU HAVE TO DO IS TIP OUT HALF OF A 1/4 STRENGTH SHOT!”

Me: “No problem, just double checking. We have quite a few orders to get through, so it may take a bit of time.”

(When I finally get to her order and am just about to pour her milk she says.)

Customer: “Actually, I want you to make that again, in a different milk jug.”

Me: *absolutely fuming by now, with another ten orders after hers* “Sure. Just give me a minute.”

(I give her the coffee once it’s finished and tell her to have a nice day. Then, not even five minutes later she has walked up to the other end of the counter and begins yelling:)

Customer: “WHAT IS THAT GIRL’S NAME?! I WANT HER NAME! I WANT HER FIRED! I WILL RING [OWNER] AS SOON AS I GET HOME. SHE IS GONE!”

(She never rang the owner.)

They’re Frozen On The Menu

, , , , , | Right | December 9, 2018

(I work at a fast food restaurant. We sell frozen drinks for $1. Unfortunately, today all the frozen drinks machines are broken, as are all of the soft drink machines. We have signs plastered in the drive-thru informing customers, and we greet every customer by telling them this. Almost every single order goes along these lines.)

Me: *greeting* “Unfortunately, we are unable to sell and frozen drinks or soft drinks right now.”

Customer: “Okay, can I get a cheeseburger meal with a [frozen drink]?”

Me: “We can’t do any frozen drinks or soft drinks at the moments, I’m sorry.”

(I tell customer what drinks they CAN get.)

Customer: “Oh, I’ll just get a lemonade with the meal, then.”

Me: *eye twitching* “We can’t sell any lemonade, or any other soft drink, or frozen drink. I can only give you…” *repeats other options*

Customer: “Can I have a [different frozen drink], then?”

Me: *slowing bashing my head on the wall* “We can’t do any soft drinks or frozens at the moment.”

Customer: *pause* “I’ll just get a Coke.”

Me: “…” *turns microphone off, starts screaming in frustration*

How To Scam A Scammer, Part 7

, , , , , | Legal | December 7, 2018

(My mobile phone rings. I know it’s a spam call because I don’t give out my mobile number and it’s unlisted. I answer it anyway since I’m not doing anything important.)

Caller: “Hello, I’m [Caller] from [Made-Up Company]. I’m calling on behalf of your insurance company regarding a traffic accident in which you were the driver not at fault.”

(I’ve had this scam before and just hung up, but I decide to see how long he’ll keep going.)

Me: “I don’t think so; I don’t drive at all.”

Caller: “Oh, my apologies! I’ve misread. I see here you were actually the passenger, not the driver.”

Me: “Nope, I always take public transport.”

Caller: “Oh, yes! My mistake. I see it was actually a relative of yours who lives nearby who was the passenger in the car not at fault in a traffic accident.”

Me: “Nope. I’m the only member of my family in this city. The rest of my family is at least 200 kilometres away.”

Caller: *swearing*

(The call ended. If they ever call back, I’m going to ask them who my insurer is, since they’re calling on behalf of them.)

Rest Of The World = Not America

, , , , , | Right | December 5, 2018

(I am currently the supervisor of the front end of a major supermarket in a small Australian town on the edge of the suburbs. I get called over by an employee who is dealing with a rather rude customer.)

Me: “Hi, sir. What seems to be your problem today?”

Customer: “Fire your d*** useless employee now!”

Me: “Okay, sir, please calm down and explain to me what the exact problem is.”

Customer: “This d*** employee won’t accept my rewards card! I never get good service here! You love taking my money, but I never get any service!”

(I turn to the employee and see he is holding a [Massive American Retailer] rewards card.)

Me: “Sir, I am sorry, but we can’t accept this card here.”

Customer: “I demand to talk to a supervisor! This is completely unacceptable!”

Me: “Sir, I am the supervisor currently working today. Now, please calm down and we will try to work this out down at the service desk.”’

(I ask to employee to save the transaction so I can recall it at the service desk.)

Me: “Sir, there is no way we can accept this card, as it is not a [Our Store Rewards Card]; this card is not valid anywhere in this country.”

Customer: “Why the h*** not? I always use this card!”

Me: “Because we are not [Massive American Retailer], and I can assure you nobody here will accept this card.”

Customer: “But I always use this card!”

Me: *seeing this is going nowhere* “Okay, sir, I will ring the closest [Massive American Retailer], and if they say it’s okay, we will accept it.”

Customer: “Finally!”

(I get my phone out and look for the closest store, which happens to be in Honolulu, thousands of kilometres away across the Pacific. As soon as they answer, I give the phone to the customer. I can only hear what he is saying, but he is turning beet red. After a few more seconds, he slams the phone down and turns to me.)

Customer: “Is this some sort of joke? Why did you call a f****** store in Hawaii?”

Me: “That is the closest store; we are in Australia, not America, if you haven’t already noticed.”

Customer: “You f****** idiots have no idea what you are talking about!”

Me: “Sir, please stop swearing. Now, would you like to finish your purchase, or would you like me to void it?”

(He then stormed out, muttering that he was absolutely in America and we just didn’t want to help him. I really didn’t know what to say after that.)

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