It’s A Dragon! It’s A Kangaroo! No, It’s… Actually, It IS A Dragon!

, , , , , , , | Learning | April 17, 2021

I’m the same person from these two stories. My Japanese teacher, who I’ll call Sensei, quite likes origami. I have a tendency to start speaking in English during speaking tasks due to nerves. She helps me overcome this by building up my confidence, and she gifts me with a pack of origami paper the first time I succeed.

During a lesson, a friend and I are chatting, and I offhandedly mention the origami prank I played earlier. Sensei jokingly interjects.

Sensei: “I hope I won’t find rabbits all over my desk, [My Name]!”

I laugh and we move to another topic.  

When I get home, I examine the pack of origami paper I was given and realize just how many pieces of paper there are in the pack. That’s when I get ideas.  

I carefully extricate one piece of each color and fold them all into dragons. I spend the next few days with a pocket full of paper dragons, waiting for an opportunity where I can get to Sensei’s desk.

A week or so later, that opportunity comes. I dash right in and get to work placing the dragons. Once I am done, I run back outside to find Sensei.

Me: “Sensei, Sensei, come quick! There’s an army of miniature dragons invading your desk!” 

Sensei: “Miniature dragons?”

Me: “Yeah, miniature dragons!” 

We walked back to the staffroom where her desk was located. As soon as she opened the door and spotted her desk, she started laughing.  

True to my word, there were eight miniature dragons in various comical positions on her desk. There was one tapping at her keyboard curiously, one climbing up the side of her desktop monitor, one on top of her monitor entirely, one swinging from the cord for the vertical blinds by its forelimbs and holding on for dear life, one running on her tape roll mounted in the desktop tape dispenser, and three more sitting around on her desk, watching the show.  

Judging by how the eight origami dragons are now carefully lined up on her desk, I think this prank counts as a success.

Related:
It’s A Dragon! It’s A Kangaroo! No, It’s A Disappearing Teacher!
It’s A Dragon! It’s A Kangaroo! No, It’s A Whole Mess Of Rabbits!

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I’ve Had Worse Nicknames

, , , , , | Working | April 13, 2021

I work in a busy restaurant in Australia which has a popular high tea service on weekend afternoons. We have one new guy who is French and occasionally has some difficulty understanding broader Aussie accents.

The new guy comes up to me, quite confused, while I am stacking plates in the kitchen. 

New Guy: “A customer asked me for German cream. Where do I find it?”

I am initially a bit confused myself, as there is a huge tray of jam and cream sitting on the pass in front of him.

Me: *Pointing* “It’s just there.”

He looks at it.

New Guy: “But this is just normal cream.”

I realised what he had said initially and couldn’t help but burst out laughing. I stuttered out, “JAM and cream.” He went bright red and grabbed some to take out to the customer. 

Unfortunately, I wasn’t the only one in the kitchen at the time and the chefs gave him the nickname “German,” which was his moniker until I stopped working there.

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To Be Fair, We’re Not Sure Of The Difference, Either

, , | Working | April 12, 2021

I visit my local sub shop for lunch and look over the bread options.

Me: “I’d like a footlong BMT, but can you tell me the difference between the white and wheat breads?”

Cashier: “That one is made from wheat.”

Me: “I know, but how is it different from the white bread?”

Cashier: “This one is white, and that one is made from wheat.”

Me: “All your bread is… I’ll have a footlong BMT on herb-cheese bread, please.”

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She’s Not Playing When It Comes To The Sand

, , , , | Right | April 7, 2021

I work at a pet store. I’ve only been working there for about a month when this happens. A lady, probably in her fifties or sixties walks in one day and comes straight up to me.

Customer: “Hi, I was wondering if you sold play sand for birds?”

Me: “I’m not sure if we do, but we can go to the bird section and check if you’d like?”

We walk to the bird section, which is right at the back of the store, and the whole way there she keeps asking:

Customer: “It’s play sand, for birds! Play sand. [Popular Hardware Store] sells it. It’s called play sand. It’s for birds. It’s called play sand.”

We quickly establish that we do not sell play sand for birds, only sand substrate for reptiles, crabs, and fish, so I apologise to the lady and we begin to walk back up to the front.

Customer: “I thought you guys would sell play sand! [Popular Hardware Store] sells it; they call it play sand. I just wanted some play sand, for my bird! It’s called play sand. They sell it at [Popular Hardware Store].”

She bought a few other things and kept repeating “play sand!” the whole time. By the end of it, I was ready to pull my ears off if I had to hear the words “play sand” one more time, and I was just thinking to myself, “Why did she not just get it at [Popular Hardware Store]?”

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A Sade Pleet With A Side Of Haggis

, , , , , , | Working | April 6, 2021

I’m from England. This was one of a string of temporary jobs I had while travelling a few years back. I’m selling people pies, sandwiches, and tea as normal when a lady in a nurse’s uniform asks me a question.

Nurse: “Can I have a sade pleet, please?”

Me: “A what?”

Nurse: “A sade pleet.”

I’m completely confused.

Me: “I beg your pardon?

Nurse: “A sade pleet!”

Me: “Er…”

I gesture at the array of food, drinks, and other assorted cafeteria-related items on the counter between us.

Me: “Ma’am, if you can see one on here, please grab one!”

The nurse picks up a small plate from a pile in front of me and shakes it.

Nurse: “A sade pleet! A SADE PLEET!”

It’s at this point that I finally twig that I’m listening to someone with a distinct Scottish accent, which I haven’t heard in some months and wasn’t expecting to hear at all while working in a hospital cafeteria in Australia. She’s asking if she can have a side plate. I laugh with some relief.

Me: “Beg pardon, ma’am, I wasn’t at all expecting to hear a Scottish accent here! Yes, of course, please take a plate, and sorry about that!”

Thankfully, she took it in good grace, headed off with her sade pleet, and, I hope, thoroughly enjoyed her break.

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