The best of our most recent stories!

Dentists Are Expensive; Establish Good Habits Early!

, , , , , | Related | June 26, 2021

My husband and I are going out for a date, so my in-laws are babysitting for us. When they get to our house I go over our two-year-old’s bedtime routine. I show them where we keep her toothbrush and flossers. 

Father-In-Law: “You brush her teeth? Why? She’s only two.”

Me: “Because she has teeth.”

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Some Owners Never Own Up To Their Shortcomings

, , , , , | Working | June 3, 2021

I work in a coffee shop, my first chain coffee shop after working only at local or family-run ones. Simply put, it is h***. The owners micromanage everything without knowing anything about how the business runs, never listen to their staff, and only care about the money. Typical out-of-touch owners of a business.

I was hired to replace a manager that walked out of one of their locations, leaving it with only part-time staff. I was told I was being hired on as the “acting manager” until they either hired someone else or they felt I would be a good fit for the position after my six-month probation.

I am expected to cover all no-shows, which has me working 90 to 100 hours a week. I’m not allowed to fire anyone, no matter how many things they do wrong — someone actually showed up to work drunk and I STILL wasn’t allowed to fire them — and any changes I want to implement are shot down, like replacing old parts in the espresso machine, shortening our hours to save money on labor, bringing in items that customers would always ask for, etc.

I am stressed, overworked, and irritated as h*** when the owner comes in to talk to me about sales for the store.

Owner: “We aren’t making enough to warrant the hours you have scheduled, and I’m not going to pay you for overtime anymore. You will work only the hours you’re scheduled, and if anyone no-shows, you have to have someone else cover those shifts.”

Me: “I only come in when no one else will cover; it just so happens that the people you’ve allowed to continue to work here have terrible availability. Making the schedule is already hard enough; getting someone other than myself to come in on their day off is next to impossible. On top of all that, I’ve had to learn the ropes myself. There was no one to train me, so all the managerial knowledge, ordering, scheduling, I learned myself. No one other than me knows how to order coffee or has the numbers for the repair guys. I’m the only one who knows how to do anything other than making coffee and using the till.”

Owner: “All I’m hearing are excuses. This is your store. If you can’t handle running it, I’ll start looking for someone who will.”

Me: “Wasn’t that the plan, though? It’s been three months since my probation period ended and you never gave me the manager position, so I assumed you were looking for someone to take over.”

Owner: “I think it’s in your best interest to take some time off. Start thinking about your position here and whether you actually want to start moving up.”

Me: “I can’t. There’s no one to cover me.”

Owner: “You’re taking this time off.”

Me: “Is this a paid break?”

Owner: “No, consider this a time-out for you to get yourself sorted. Take two weeks to rest and we’ll see what your position will be like when you get back.”

Me: “[Owner], I can’t really afford to take that amount of time off. I can’t even take two days without having to come in and cover.”

Owner: “Don’t worry about the business right now. It’ll run without you.”

I am basically the manager at this point. I make the schedules. I do the orders. I know the codes to the safe and the alarm. I haven’t been allowed to hire someone to assist me and no one has worked enough time to be able to cover even half my shifts. I know this, the staff knows this, and the customers know it.

I make sure to block all work numbers and spend my two weeks off looking for another job. I manage to find one after a few days that pays significantly more. I send my resignation email to payroll and the owner — knowing he never checks it — delete my account off the POS system from home, and spend the rest of the leave catching up on well-deserved sleep.

According to my coworkers, s*** starts going wrong the next day. One of the openers doesn’t show and the next staff member doesn’t have keys. [Owner] isn’t answering his phone so they leave a message. [Owner] doesn’t show up until four hours after they were supposed to open, after one of the regulars calls him asking if the place is closed down.

Orders aren’t done, inventory is missed, four no-shows — you name it, it goes wrong.

[Owner] tries every way he can to get a hold of me, even using a customer’s phone to call me. Too bad I don’t answer any calls that aren’t already in my contacts.

After my weeks are up, I turn my phone back on and get a call the same day from [Owner]. We agree to meet the next day.

Owner: “So, you’ve had some time to think.”

Me: “I have. It’s really given me perspective on my position here.”

Owner: “We can start you back on your normal hours for now, and we’re looking for a manager to take on more of your responsibilities.”

Me: “Oh, that’s good. I’m actually quitting.”

He is silent for a few minutes. I think he is waiting to tell him I’m kidding. Sucks for you buddy, I’m serious.

Me: “I’ve already emailed payroll and removed my login from the computer. Here are my keys. Good luck.”

And I left. [Owner] tried calling me a few times but stopped once I told him to check his email.

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Unable To Get To The Meat Of The Issue

, , , , , | Right | July 3, 2021

I am a deli clerk in a big chain grocery store in Canada. My job involves slicing meats behind a service counter, with our opened chubs in bags with their shelf life represented in orange stickers. Recently, all employees had to do a racial and discrimination course to ensure we were dealing with customers properly, and I am extremely wary of offending anybody. This is also during the health crisis, so a lot of customers are wearing masks. I have been wearing one myself every shift since the beginning of April. A customer comes up to my counter and pulls down his face mask.

Customer: “I have strong accent; maybe you cannot understand me.”

He sounds Russian but I have no issues with that at all and actually enjoy listening to certain accents.

Me: “Maybe, but I have no difficulties understanding you at all. What can I get for you?”

Customer: “I want 300 grams European Bologna sandwich sliced.”

Me: “Okay.”

I walk over to the case and dig for the correct product.

Customer: “That will not be enough. I don’t want tiny piece. You cut it from this one.”

He indicates the closed chub on display.

Me: “Sir, there is more than enough on this piece to fill your order without giving you the end piece. We are not allowed to open multiple chubs of one type of meat—”

Customer: “That isn’t enough. Cut it from the new one.”

Me: “Sir, if you’ll let me—”

The customer cuts me off and begins complaining to the other staff that I refuse to serve him his meat.

Customer: *To anybody near enough* “This lady refuses to give me product from my own country!”

Me: “Sir, I have no issues filling your order, but I could get in trouble for opening multiple meat chubs of the same thing.”

The customer continued to cut me off multiple times, the conversation going around and around like this. After a few moments, I realized that I was not going to get a word in edgewise. Even lifting my hand to signal him that I was trying to speak didn’t help.

In the end, he left without his meat, complaining to two colleagues of mine on the way out of my department. The next morning, I sliced that same exact piece for our case and it would have easily filled his request without the end piece being too small.

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That One Is On Whoever Came Up With Those Names

, , , | Right | June 21, 2021

I am craving a smoothie, so I pop into my local smoothie shop to order one. I’ve only ordered from this franchise once or twice in the past and am not familiar with their drink names, but I want to get something similar to what I had last time. The only thing I remember about the drink was that it had mangoes and spinach.

Cashier: “Hi! How can I help you?”

Me: “Hi there! I’m sorry, I don’t order from here often. In the past, I ordered a drink that had mangoes and spinach in it. Do you have a drink like that?”

Cashier: “Spinach is in it?”

Me: “Yeah… or maybe it was kale? I don’t know, I definitely remember spinach. It had mangoes, too. 

Cashier: “Ah, okay. So, spinach is in it?”

Me: “Yup, it had spinach.”

Cashier: “Okay, your total is [total].”

I just assumed she knew what I was talking about, so I paid and moved to the side. As I was waiting for my drink, I glanced at the menu board, wondering what the name of the drink was. My eyes scanned the board until I found it. 

The drink name? “Spinach Is In It.”

The cashier and I had a good laugh about that one!

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If You Wouldn’t Do It In A Department Store, Don’t Try It In A Yard Sale

, , , | Right | June 30, 2021

I’m having a yard sale to get rid of all of my old junk. A customer arrives at 7:20 am, even though it clearly states in my poster that the sale begins at eight.

Lady: “You’re open, right?”

Me: *Still putting up all the things* “No, the sale starts at eight.”

Lady: “There’s like five minutes until eight. Can’t I have a look a bit early?”

Me: “You can’t look around, but you could wait until eight.”

Lady: *Annoyed* “I don’t have time! I need to look right now! Open!

Me: “The sale doesn’t start until eight, so just wait for thirty minutes. You can’t look early.”

Lady: “Then I’m not buying anything! I ain’t giving my money to all of your junk!” 

The lady walked off, muttering stuff like, “Rude,” and, “No respect for the elderly!”

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