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The best of our most recent stories!

Since When Is It Appropriate To Ask Strangers Medical Questions, Anyway?

, , , , | Friendly | October 17, 2021

I am female, and it’s hotter than Hades where I’m from. I don’t like my natural hair, so I shaved it one summer. I got lots of mixed reactions from different people, most of them positive, with the occasional rude person who thought I looked like a boy even though I wear makeup and am well-endowed. This takes the cake, though.

I was sitting in a coffee shop waiting for my boyfriend and his sister, and I had already ordered and been complimented by the barista. One woman got her drink, spotted me, and clutched her hand to her chest with a soft, “Oh!”

Woman: “You are such an inspiration, dear! Was it hard, battling the cancer?” 

Me: “Um, I don’t have cancer. I just have my hair like this because I like it this way.” 

Woman: *Chuckles* “Oh, sweetie, there’s no need to pretend! Was it very difficult? What kind was it?” 

Me: “I’m serious; I’ve never had cancer. Some girls just like their heads shaved, and I’m one of them.” 

The woman huffed and stormed away. I later overheard her talking on the phone about “that poor girl with the shaved head”. I told my boyfriend and his sister about it, and they both agreed she was either nuts or trying to be a good person and thought I was being stubborn.

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We Hope This Guy Is Worth Dealing With The In-Laws

, , , | Related | October 17, 2021

Things were getting serious between my boyfriend and me; we’d soon be moving in together and on this particular night, I was meeting his parents for the first time.

At one point during the evening, I wandered off to look at the family photos arranged on his parents’ dining room wall. Among them was a picture of my boyfriend looking cuddly with a previous girlfriend.

Just then, his mom appeared next to me, looked at the photo, looked me up and down, and said:

Mom: “Yes, well, [Boyfriend] always has liked them chubby. Listen, if you want to join [Weight Loss Program], they won’t let me lose any weight but I could be your support buddy.”

I was 5’6″ and 125 pounds.

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Free Lime Pie

, , , | Right | October 17, 2021

Corporate apparently advertised that our store was giving away key lime pie samples, but our manager and staff didn’t hear anything. A customer came in wanting a tiny, bite-size sample that we didn’t have. She complained to customer service as we watched in amazement.

The cooking demo lady had to get a whole pie off the shelf just so this customer could get her tiny sample. The customer thanked the demo lady and then left, because that tiny sample was the only reason she had come in.

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You Deserve To Feel Uncomfortable After That

, , , | Right | October 16, 2021

Customer: “Do you like jokes?”

Me: “Absolutely.”

He then proceeds to tell me an incredibly racist and misogynistic joke. I just stand there, staring him straight in the eyes.

Me: “That wasn’t even remotely funny.”

Customer: “Well, I guess you’re just a liar and don’t like jokes after all.”

I just stared at him with dead eyes until he became very uncomfortable and left.

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Speeding To Judge You

, , , , | Legal | October 16, 2021

I underestimated how long it would take me to get ready for an important meeting. I was moving a bit slower than usual and was running late. I admit to speeding a little on the highway to try to make up time, though I made sure not to tailgate and to pass cars at a reasonable speed so it wouldn’t be too dangerous. Unfortunately, that wasn’t good enough, because I got pulled over by a cop.

The cop did all the standard cop things, asking how fast I was going, and for my license, etc., first.

Cop: “And where are you headed?”

Me: *Laughing nervously* “Oh, you wouldn’t believe me if I told you.”

Cop: “I’ve heard plenty of unbelievable things before. Where are you going?”

Me: “Is it that important to know where I’m headed?”

Cop: “Please tell me.”

Me: “Okay, fine. I’m going to meet the child I donated my kidney to for the first time.”

The cop’s face almost immediately hardened in a look that pretty much screamed, “I can’t believe you would make up such an obvious lie to get out of a speeding ticket.” From there on out, when he talked to me it was with a more brisk, almost angry voice that screamed his disbelief.

Cop: “You’re saying you donated your kidney to a child you didn’t meet?”

Me: “Yeah, it was non-directed. The hospital picked him and I wasn’t allowed to meet him until after the surgery. They have the surgeon and a camera crew and a bunch of other people there to film the meeting, so I really don’t want to be late.”

Cop: “Well, looks like you are going to be late.”

The cop then took his time to give me a ticket, one that was a substantially larger fine than any ticket I’d ever gotten before or after, and which managed to single-handedly put enough points on my license to put me in danger of getting it revoked if I got any other tickets for a while.

I’ve since talked to some friends who were police. They told me that it’s standard practice to lower how much over the speed limit someone was going when pulled over on the highway because everyone drives ten to fifteen miles over the speed limit there, and most cops agree it’s not fair to hit someone with such a huge fine just for going the same speed everyone else was going. Ten mph over the speed limit on a highway just isn’t as big a deal as doing it on a small local road, after all. But in this case, the cop presumably decided to punish me for “lying” to him by not lowering the ticket any. I honestly wonder if he may have also rounded up on my actual speed, considering how huge the fine was.

To add extra irony, when I finally got to the hospital, they basically made me sit and wait for another hour and a half before I actually got to meet the kid, so I was rushing for nothing. The kid was cute, though, and it was nice to finally meet him.

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