Can’t Admit To Their Mis-Steak

, , , | Right | August 18, 2017

(Our bar is one of three bars, two restaurants, and a cafe in the same complex. Any advertising for food deals has the name of the bar very clearly displayed and is displayed outside the outlet it corresponds to. The customer in this story has just ordered two steak meals off me. Our bar only has t-bone steaks so it’s not uncommon for customers who want a t-bone to just ask for steak.)

Me: “Okay, so that’s two t-bone steaks, cooked med and med-rare. You’re total is $49.”

(The customer hands me a $50 note.)

Me: “Thanks. Here is your $1 change and your table number.”

(The customer takes the table number and change, reaches over the bar, and snatches their receipt off the printer. He then walks away, shows the receipt to his wife, and then walks back to the bar and interrupts me serving the next customer.)

Customer: “You gave me the wrong change.”

Me: “Umm, no. I gave you a $1 change from a $50 note for a $49 meal.”

Customer: “The steaks are only $16.50 each.”

Me: “No, sorry, if you look at the menu in front of you, our t-bone steak is $24.50.”

Customer: “I know what I’m talking about. I didn’t order a t-bone. I ordered the steak. The sign outside says you have a steak special for $16.50. Stop trying to rip me off and give me my change.”

Me: “We don’t have a steak special in this bar. [Other Bar] next door, on the other hand, has a steak special. I’ll give you a refund and you can go next door and order from them.”

Customer: “Well, that’s what I wanted and I ordered here, so give me the change and give me that meal.”

Me: “I can’t. It’s a different bar.”

Customer: “Well, how the f*** am I meant to know that?!”

Customer He Interrupted: “Because it says it on the sign. Now take your refund and leave.”

If There’s No Sale On, Make One!

, , , , | Right | August 18, 2017

(I work at a relatively small car dealership as a receptionist. This takes place at about 10 in the morning. There is only one salesman in due to medical reasons with another. The present salesman is out on the lot when a customer walks in.)

Me: “Hi there! Do you need a hand with anything?”

Customer: “I was looking at the [SUV #1] and [SUV #2] on the lot. They look very similar; what is the difference?”

Me: “I know that [SUV #1] is larger than [SUV #2] but not by much since the recent re-modeling on [SUV #2]. But let me find a salesperson for you and he’ll be able explain.”

(I page for a salesman to come to the showroom and continue talking to the customer while she waits. Meanwhile the customer has gotten into the [SUV #1] on display. As we are chatting two older gentlemen, who drive to pick up vehicles from other cities for us, walk up.)

Customer: “Hi, my name is [Customer]. Have you seen this beautiful SUV over here? It’s one of the nicest vehicles we have.”

(The customer continues to give a joking “sales pitch” to the gentlemen. I am relieved that she is not upset by the absence of a salesman. The gentlemen look confused at first, as they are in often and haven’t seen her, but soon catch on and laugh with her. Then the manager walks in, and the customer approaches him.)

Customer: “Hi, welcome to [Dealership]. I’m [Customer]. Have you seen the great sale we have on right now?”

Me: “[Manager], This is [Customer]. She is our newest sales person.”

(This manager is not directly in charge of hiring so this could be possible, but not likely as he is always consulted or informed.)

Manager: *very uncertain* “Noo… you’re not…”

(The two gentleman from earlier laugh and I introduce her as a customer. The manager speaks with her until the salesman arrives. The customer realizes who he is and greets him.)

Customer: “Hi there! I’m [Customer] from… Where am I?”

(I answer and she continues.)

Customer: “You will never see deals like this. Right now we have the [Sale Event] on. You can also get 0% financing on certain models…”

(She continued while I stood to the side, laughing. The salesman also started laughing as she continued for a while. I was impressed with her knowledge of our products!)

Customer Has Daddy Issues On Your Behalf

, , , , | Right | August 18, 2017

(I work at a low cost retailer on the weekends to make some extra cash. The weekend before Father’s Day, my manager approaches me while I restock some shelves.)

Manager: “Can you work next weekend?”

Me: “Yes. Why?”

Manager: “Thank God! I’m having problems finding people willing to work on Father’s Day.”

(Before I can say anything, an older customer who is standing a few feet away speaks up.)

Customer: “You want to work on Father’s Day? How could you! Don’t you love your father? Don’t you want to spend time with him? What kind of daughter are you? Don’t want to see your own your father on Father’s Day?!”

Manager: *turns to Customer* “I’m sorry, ma’am—”

Customer: *turns her wrath towards the manager* “And you! How could you ask this poor young woman to work on the day made to celebrate her father?!”

(My manager looks flummoxed for a moment, so I jump in.)

Me: “Ma’am? My father has been dead for ten years, and really, he was an a**-hole when he was alive. I don’t think he really cares what I do on Father’s Day.”

(The customer stops and stares at me, her mouth agape. Then she turns and hurries away. I glance at my manager, sure I’m about to get yelled at for cursing at a customer, but am surprised to see him grinning ear to ear.)

Manager: “So… still available to work next weekend?”

They Want An Irish Americacappamoccachino

, , , , | Right | August 18, 2017

Customer: “Do you do fancy coffee?”

Me: “Umm, you mean like cappuccino and flat white?”

Customer: “Yeah, but the one with chocolate in it?”

Me: “Hot chocolate?”

Customer: “No! The one with chocolate and coffee.”

Me: “Oh, you want a moccachino?”

Customer: “Yes, but with caramel as well. What do you call that?”

Me: “Ah, a moccachino with caramel?”

Customer: “Yes I want one of those. Wait, I might want two. Hang on.”

(She then walks to the other side of our seating area to talk to her friend. I’m not too worried by this as it’s quiet anyway.)

Customer: “No, only one of those.”

Me: “Okay, your total is $4.50.”

Customer: “Do you do those special coffees like they do in America?”

Me: “An Americano?”

Customer: “Is that the one with alcohol in it?”

Me: “Oh, no, I think you mean an Irish coffee or a liqueur coffee.”

Customer: “No, not Irish coffee, just the ones with alcohol in them?”

Me: “You mean with [Brand Irish Whiskey], or [Brand of Creamy Liqueur] in them?”

Customer: “Yeah, those ones!”

Me: “Yeah, they’re called Irish coffee or liqueur coffee. Do you want one of them as well?”

Customer: “Oh, no. Have you done my coffee and chocolate thing yet?”

They Don’t Have Book Smarts

, , , , | Right | August 18, 2017

(A customer comes to the desk as my colleague, to my left, informs their customer that they’ve taken a book out before.)

Customer: “I hate it when you lot tell me that.”

Me: “Oh. The computer tells us automatically and some people don’t remember what they’ve read, or don’t recognise the cover if it’s a reprint and don’t like to reread a book.”

Customer: “It’s none of your business what I read. I don’t think you should be able to see that.”

Me: *unsure if he’s joking* “Well, we see the books when you bring them to the desk anyway?”

Customer: *not listening* “Should be freedom of information or something like that…”

Me: “Well, I’ll try to remember not to tell you when you’ve taken a book out before. Did you want your other books renewed?”

Customer: “Yes, please. What ones do I have out?”

Me: *speechless*

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