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The best of our most recent stories!

Even Chris Griffin Isn’t That Stupid

, , , , , | Learning | September 26, 2021

It’s the first day of classes, so we’re going over the syllabus.

Professor: “Now, here are my rules on using technology in class. I don’t mind y’all taking notes or whatever digitally as long as that’s actually what you’re doing and you aren’t being a distraction. A couple of years back, I caught one guy on his phone during an exam. The weird part was that he wasn’t even cheating. He was watching Family Guy! Good lord, can you imagine watching a TV show on your phone during an exam?! Or sitting next to someone that is?! Don’t be that guy, please.”

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The Lesser Of Two Evils

, , , , , | Related | September 26, 2021

Mom: “Can [Dad] and I come live with you when we’re old?”

Me: “Of course!”

Mom: “Really? Why?”

Me: “I don’t want to have any vacancies for the in-laws.”

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That’s One Way To Throw The Book At Him

, , , , , , | Working | September 25, 2021

I worked at this bookstore for over ten years. I loved it, honestly, but when I got an offer for a better job, I took it without any questions. My bosses and fellow coworkers were really happy for me, and since I still shop there weekly, they still see me.

I bought several books a few weeks ago, and when I went to read one of them, it was completely blank. The first few pages were printed but the rest looked like the printer ran out of ink.

I took it back to the store to just exchange it. The store has a policy that if it’s something like that, they can exchange it for free as long as it’s within a month of the receipt. I stood in line and let the cashier know what I needed to do. He was new, and instead of radioing to a manager to let them know what was going on, he told me that he couldn’t return a book in that condition.

I told him, politely, that he could and that it was part of the publishing return clause.

Employee: “This is in an unsellable condition.”

Me: “Right, it’s a publisher’s mistake, so you can exchange it for one that has all the printing and you guys will just return this book to the publisher and they will get you a replacement.”

Employee: “We can’t do that.”

Me: “Yeah, you can, and you will.”

Employee: “I am refusing you service! You need to get out of here now.”

Me: “Dude, you need to do two things: first, chill, and second, get a manager.”

Employee: “I’m not getting a manager. You are banned from the store.”

Me: “Okay.”

I stepped out of line with the book and texted one of the managers that I knew, asking if they were at the store. Turns out they were, and I asked if they could come up to the front to explain to the new cashier about the publishing return policy.

Not even three minutes later my old manager and the general manager came up. The cashier saw them and smirked at me.

Employee: “Now you’re going to get it.”

Both of them greeted me, asking about the new job and how I was doing, and then asked what was wrong. I showed them the book and let them know that the cashier told me that I couldn’t return it and that I was banned from the store. 

Needless to say, it was quite a lovely shade of whitish-green that he turned when both of them let him know that, yes, they could return it and that he had absolutely no power in banning people. 

I got my book exchanged, and when I went back there a few weeks later he was stocking and apparently not allowed to be on the cash register for a bit.

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Kind Strangers Make It Worth “Working Here” Even When You Don’t

, , , , | Right | September 25, 2021

I was in a liquor store pacing the aisles for a bottle of adult juice. I like dressing in black: shoes, jeans, leather jacket, and mask, all black. All employees in this store were wearing red/maroon jackets. As I was browsing the shelves, this older woman came over to me and asked in a really soft, but still disappointed tone:

Woman: “You don’t work here, do you?”

Me: “I sure don’t, but can I be of any assistance?”

Woman: “I need a bottle of [Brand] and I can’t find it. Getting old is hard; my eyes aren’t as good as they once were.”

Me: “Of course, I’ll help you. That will be my pleasure.”

I had a look and browsed up and down and side to side, but I couldn’t find it.

Woman: “That’s okay. I really wanted it for my son, but they might not have it in stock; it’s kind of expensive and special.”

Me: “Hold on. I’ll ask someone who actually does work here; they might have a look on their computer and check their stock on it.”

I went over to the till and asked the man sitting comfortably on his chair and asked him. He looked it up.

Employee: “Yes, we have one bottle in stock, but that probably isn’t the one you’re looking for; it is an extra special edition and extra expensive.”

Then, he pointed toward where it should sit on the shelf. He couldn’t leave his till, of course, because of customer flow. I went over to where he pointed and grabbed the bottle and showed it to the sweet old lady and told her what I just had been told. She brightened up.

Woman: *Happily* “That’s exactly what I was looking for!”

Me: “It’s [price].”

Woman: *Nodding* “That sounds about right. Thank you so much! I’m sorry for having to bother you.”

Me: “Actually, this made my day! These days, I hardly talk to anyone, and helping someone as nice as you has been a pleasure.”

Then, we went to the till and paid and went our separate ways. I couldn’t see her smile because of her mask, but I’m sure she had one; I sure did.

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You And Me Go Poopin’ In The Dark

, , | Right | September 26, 2021

When I worked at a convenience store, people coming off of the interstate would come in at five minutes to closing and go to the bathroom and play on their phones. I turned off all the lights except the one directly in front of my register. I can’t believe the number of people that couldn’t take a hint and would wander a dark store looking at candy and potato chips.

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