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The best of our most recent stories!

Better Measure Up If You’re Going To Act Like A Tool

, , , | Right | December 4, 2021

I was in the tool aisle of a home improvement chain. There was an actual employee in the aisle next to mine helping another customer. Then, a man walked up to her and tapped her shoulder while she was speaking to the customer she was helping. She told him she would get to him in a moment. He got impatient and huffed and puffed for a minute. I could actually hear him doing this from where I was.

The employee interrupted the first customer to ask the man who’d approached:

Employee: “What do you need?”

Impatient Customer: “What do I need to make a bell siphon?”

For those who don’t know, this is a plumbing device used to automatically suck water out with no mechanics like pumps when water gets to certain levels.

Employee: “I don’t know. You need to go to plumbing.”

She then turned back to help the first customer.

Impatient Customer: *Mad* “You need to help me!”

Employee: “I don’t work in the plumbing department. All I know about what you’re asking is that a siphon is something for water. That’s plumbing. This is tools.”

The man got mad and stormed off. He ended up on my aisle and saw me. I was wearing nothing that said I worked there, other than blue jeans.

Impatient Customer: “Tell me what I need to make a bell siphon.”

I would have helped him had he not just demanded that.

Me: “I don’t work for this store. You need to ask the plumbing department employee.”

Impatient Customer: “I see you all the time in here. YOU ALL NEED TO STOP LYING TO YOUR CUSTOMERS!”

Me: “Okay.”

And I went back to what I was looking for in the tools department.

The man went to some other employee and demanded to see the manager. The manager came over and told him exactly what we both told him.

Manager: “You’re asking in the wrong department, and that person doesn’t work here. I know how to make a bell siphon, though. Can I have your project measurements so I can get the right sized pipes for you?”

The man had to go home and get them because he never bothered to do get measurements before coming to the store for the parts.

The Difference Is Deafening

, , , , , | Right | December 3, 2021

I used to work at a place that received packages for non-US residents. Each package generated an individual invoice with its tracking number, date of arrival, etc., and we required each page to be signed by the recipient. Get ten packages, sign ten pages. This way, we knew what had already been handed out and to whom, and it was easier to account for missing items.

Of course, as long-time NAR readers are probably aware, any attempts at explaining this stuff to customers were rendered in their minds as some kind of barnyard noise. There were countless instances of someone only signing the top page and walking away, or worse: trying to leave with the papers. And of course, don’t even get me started on the numerous “regulars” who didn’t want to show ID to prove it was indeed their mail.

One day, we had a customer come in who was completely deaf. I don’t know much ASL, so I just made a rectangle with my fingers. He gave me his ID. Since he was new, I gave him the newcomer’s form and dragged a finger down the lines. He filled it out, no fuss. When I came back with his packages and papers, I pointed to every page. He then signed them all.

To this day, I can’t get over how a deaf man was the best listener out of all those customers!

Did Anyone Get That Tantrum On Tape?

, , , , | Right | December 3, 2021

I have a few friends that work on a television show, and this woman I know said that she would do anything to get into the audience of said show. My mate rang me and offered me tickets to said show and I jumped at the chance to go.

Me: “There will be two others besides me. Will that be an issue?”

Friend: “Nope, no issue. Can’t wait to see you.”

[Woman] was given two weeks’ notice of this and kept telling me that she couldn’t wait as this happened to be one of her favourite shows.

The day of the taping arrived and we were doing the compulsory [health crisis] check-ins. [Woman] proceeded to go ballistic.

Woman: “Why do I have to check in? This is all bulls***! Why do I have to do this?!”

Me: “You’d do this anywhere else. It’s just precautionary.”

We finally got past that section, with security giving us “Calm down” looks.

Next, we had to be checked to make sure that we had no weapons. [Woman] erupted again, as loud as she possibly could.

Woman: “F****** h***, this is bulls***!”

Finally, we got closer to the studio. We were asked politely for our ID as they were serving alcohol, and [Woman] was asked to leave her bag in a secure locker as it was a hazard in case of a fire, etc.; you don’t want to be tripping over bags and such.

This was the last straw for her. She began screaming at the poor girl.

Woman: “This is completely f***ed! It’s a massive inconvenience and you’ve ruined my day!”

She then stormed off back into the lift and went home.

This, folks, was the last step before entering the studio. Sadly, my mate rang me later to tell me that [Woman] has now been issued with a lifetime ban and is unable to attend any studio tapings of any show at the network.

Not-So-Smooth(ie) Sailing

, , | Right | December 4, 2021

I work at a smoothie store, and I get an online order. He orders it with no juice, no ice cream, no ice, no fruit, and a bunch of protein powder. It’s literally just a cup with protein powder in it. When he comes in to pick it up:

Me: “What do you want me to do with this? What can I make you?”

Customer: “I don’t know. I don’t want anything. I just wanted to see what you would do.”

This Toddler Is A Whole Mood

, , , , , , | Working | December 3, 2021

I am working at home while trying to manage my young children during the health crisis. I hear the doorbell ring and look through the peephole to see a salesman who has ignored the “No Soliciting” sign as well as our local Stay At Home orders. He sees movement and begins to knock as well as ring the doorbell. I sigh and begin to look for a mask when my three-year-old, already masked, opens the door by himself.

Three-Year-Old: “Are you Amazon?”

Salesman: “No.”

My three-year-old slammed the door, and the salesman walked away!