A Crappy Turn Of Events, Part 2

, , , , , , | Right | August 13, 2020

I work at a big store that has self-checkout. A mother and her child walk into the self-checkout. As usual, I greet every customer.

Me: “Hello, how are you today?”

The mother doesn’t respond. While she is scanning her items, the baby starts making faces and clearly starts pooping. As the mom is distracted trying to pay, the baby puts his hands inside his diaper and starts pulling out his own poop, which he starts wiping all over the cart.

When the mom finishes paying, she looks blankly at her child. She doesn’t correct him or anything. I am shocked by what I’ve just witnessed.

Customer: “Oh, well… good luck to whoever has to clean it.”

The mother said that sentence while making direct eye contact with me. Then, she grabbed her baby and left the poop-covered cart at the self-checkout. I had to call my manager to explain the situation to have the cart fully disinfected.

Related:
A Crappy Turn Of Events

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Artfully Setting Himself Up For Failure, Part 2

, , , , | Right | August 13, 2020

I work as a gallery attendant in a museum where my job is to talk to people about artworks in the galleries. We have this piece by the artist Joan Jonas — a lady who’s currently in her eighties — on display. Most people don’t recognize her name because she did her most famous works in the 1960s, so anyone too young to remember doesn’t often know her.

This guy who looks to be in his thirties and his mother come over.

Me: “This is done in conjunction with the artist Joan Jonas.”

Guy: “Joe Jonas? Isn’t he really popular right now?”

Me: “No, not Joe, Joan Jonas. She was part of the Fluxus movement but still does art now.”

Guy: “Yeah, I’ve heard of him. I don’t know much of his work but I hear a lot about him.”

I want to scream at this idiot.

Me:She has been around for quite some time and currently mentors this other artist, so they worked together on this. She makes some really amazing pieces.”

He then ignored me completely, went over to read the sign on the wall, and proceeded to explain the meaning behind the piece to his mother, getting absolutely every single thing wrong.

This wasn’t one of those pieces where the artist wanted everything to be open to interpretation; it had a very strong sociopolitical message and that’s why the artists wanted us there to explain it.

I just let the guy keep babbling about nonsense because he was clearly one of those geniuses who knows more about artworks his first time looking at them than the people who were literally trained by the artists themselves.

Related:
Artfully Setting Himself Up For Failure

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Chocolate Assault, Part 2

, , , | Right | August 13, 2020

I’ve had customers not give me enough information when they’re looking for something, but this guy is just plain weird.

Customer: “Excuse me?”

Me: “Yes?”

Customer: “Um, chocolate, chocolate, chocolate, chocolate, chocolate, chocolate, chocolate, chocolate, chocolate, chocolate.”

I have no idea how many times he says that word before he lets me speak.

Me: “Uh, what type of chocolate?”

Customer: “Dark chocolate.”

Me: “No, I mean, what will it be used for?”

Customer: “Chocolate!”

I sense I will get nowhere with this guy.

Me: “Baking chocolate is on four, candy is on five.”

I have no idea if he was on something, if there was something wrong with him mentally, or if that’s legitimately how he thought he should ask for help.

Related:
Chocolate Assault

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Explaining It Until You’re Pink And Purple, Part 2

, , , | Right | August 13, 2020

It is in the middle of a busy morning rush and I’m trying to get drinks out quickly when a mom repeatedly calls for my attention off to the side of the handoff bar. 

Me: “What can I help you with?”

Customer: “My daughter says you made her drink wrong!”

Me: “Oh, I apologize. What was it that she wanted?”

Customer: “She wanted that cotton candy drink!”

I take the cup from her and look at the markings. Yep, I did it right. I slide it back over to the mom. 

Me: “Ma’am, this is the correct drink.”

Customer: “She says it’s supposed to be blue!”

Me: “Blue?”

Customer: “Yeah! She says the picture on the secret website shows that it’s blue!”

I piece together what happened rather quickly; there’s a well-known website that posts “secret recipes” for us to make, but we don’t actually have any of those recipes in store, nor do we regularly check them. However, I know for a fact that a recently failed drink was the only one to ever be blue in color, so I figure they just used the wrong picture. 

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but they probably just used the wrong picture. I assure you that this is the cotton candy drink.”

Customer: “Can you make it blue, though?”

Me: “No, I can’t, I’m sorry.”

Customer: “Why not?”

Me: “I don’t have anything at my disposal that would make the drink blue. I’m sorry.”

Customer: “Well, can you make it any sort of color, then?”

Me: “I can maybe add some strawberry to it, to make it a little pink?”

Customer: “Perfect! And while you’re at it, can you add some blue, too? Make it purple when it’s all mixed up?”

Related:
Explaining It Until You’re Pink And Purple

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Should Have Charged Him Every Time He Swore

, , | Right | August 13, 2020

I’m working at a popular restaurant in town. I’ve been there for about two years and never encountered someone as rude as this. A family with three kids come in about fifteen minutes before we close. I’m tired after a long shift so I’m a little more sensitive than usual. The family orders their food and I’m about to put their transaction through when the father decides he wants a beer. 

Customer: “Yeah, can I get a [Beer Brand we don’t carry].”

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, we actually don’t have that particular brand, but if you look at our drinks list, you can see what we have available.”

Customer: “F****** useless.”

I am a bit taken back at this because I don’t feel anything unreasonable has taken place, but I stay quiet. I put through a different drink for him and he begins to use his card to pay. He doesn’t hold it down long enough for PayWave to read his card, so I have to ask him to tap it several times.

Customer: “B****, you’d better not have charged me three f****** times.”

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, but I’m sure you won’t have been charged multiple times.”

Customer: “Worthless c*** of a waitress.”

I’m quite upset at this point, so I decide to show the family to a table as quickly as I can. I get their things together and move to seat them. My manager comes out and asks that I seat them at a different table. All of a sudden, the patron goes off and begins screaming. 

Customer: “This is f****** bulls***. Let her sit us at the f****** table she was taking us to instead of wasting our f****** time, you fat c***!”

My manager apologised and the man snatched their cups and cutlery off of me and stormed off to their own table, his wife and children in tow. I was very shaken and upset from this encounter, so I headed out the back and broke down in tears. I don’t understand how people can be so rude, especially in front of young children!

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