This Customer Isn’t Even Remotely Right

, , , , , | Right | November 17, 2017

(I’m checking a couple into their room when the woman informs me they’re here on a trip with their church and are “top people” in their church. She comes down from her room 30 minutes later.)

Me: “How may I help you, ma’am?”

Guest:Remote! This isn’t working.”

Me: “Okay, let me get you fresh batteries.”

(I get her the batteries, but she comes back down ten minutes later. By now, it’s 5:00 pm and I have three guests in line I’m checking in.)

Me: “Okay, sir, you’re in room—”

Guest: *storms up to the desk, cutting in front of the line* “THIS REMOTE IS STILL NOT WORKING!”

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am. If you can wait until I check this man in, I’ll get you a new remote. Or I can bring it to your room when I’m finished here.”

Guest: *doesn’t move from the desk, and is pacing back and forth and almost breathing down my neck* “This is ridiculous! I can’t believe the idiots they hire; I should be helped immediately!”

(She begins muttering profanities under her breath.)

Guest: “WHY CAN’T YOU HELP ME NOW?!”

Me: “Ma’am, I’m the only staff member on site for this shift, and we are at full capacity. I promise I’ll help you as soon as I can.”

Guest: “FINE. I GUESS I’LL JUST STARE AT THE CEILING!”

(She then throws her remote control at me as hard as possible. It hits my shoulder.)

Me: “I suggest you apologize, pack your things, and leave, or I’ll call the cops. You just assaulted me. I’m allowed to refuse you service now, and I think that’d be the best decision.”

(The guest laughed and walked up to her room. She was escorted out by police an hour later. Moral of the story: your employer may use the “customer is always right” motto, but if a customer insults, harasses, or attacks you, you DO have the right to refuse service. It is illegal to be forced to serve someone berating you. If employees around the world allow customers to verbally or physically attack them, then customers will always think it’s okay to do so.)

Scrub Yourself Of This Experience

, , , , | Right | November 17, 2017

(I am a dental assistant, and I am stopping by [Store] after work one evening to pick up some cat food when I am flagged down by a woman.)

Woman: “Excuse me!”

Me: “Um, yeah?”

Woman: “Finally! Can you tell me if a curling wand is better than a curling iron?”

Me: “Oh, I’m sorry; I actually don’t work here.”

Woman: *angrily* “Are you lying to me?”

Me: *a bit confused* “No, I actually don’t work here.”

Woman: “Then why are you wearing a [Store] uniform?”

Me: “Oh, these are scrubs; I’m actually a dental assistant. If it helps though, I just bought a curling wand last week and I liked it.”

Woman: “Well, you shouldn’t come to the store dressed as an employee; you’re just confusing everyone!”

Employee: “Is everything okay here?”

Woman: *increasingly angrily* “She’s impersonating an employee! Isn’t there some rule about not wearing the store’s uniform if someone doesn’t work here?”

Employee: *quite confusedly* “Well, she’s wearing blue. We wear red and tan here.”

Woman: *shouting* “Everyone here is so rude!”

(The employee and I exchange looks, and when she’s out of earshot we burst out laughing.)

Employee: “You’re wearing scrubs, for God’s sake! Is she colorblind or something?”

Me: “The worst part is, this happens every time I go shopping in my scrubs. This was just the most… interesting incident.”

Checkout This Idiot!

, , , , | Right | November 17, 2017

(I’m in the self-checkout area at one of the few stores in town, starting to ring up my purchases. I see a woman at another station who seems not to understand what she’s doing, despite looking at most thirty.)

Scanner: “Please place the item in the bagging area. Please place the item in the bagging area.”

(She just stands there, holding her box of cereal, stomping her feet, and glaring toward the clerk station.  The clerk sees her, comes over, and gives a brief explanation to the impatient woman.  After tapping the “not bagging this item” button, the clerk returns to her post and the woman puts her box back into her cart amongst her unscanned items. I turn back to my groceries, when…)

Scanner: “Please place the item in the bagging area. Please place the item in the bagging area.”

(This woman made the poor clerk walk back over to hit the same button for every single item scanned, and was still glaring and scanning as I paid and left. I purchased more than twice as many items as she did, but finished a lot quicker.)

Wish They Would Stop Trucking Swearing

, , , , , , , | Right | November 17, 2017

(The mall where I work has construction going on near our store, and the nearest mall door is closed off to customers. There are security guards posted to let construction and mall workers in and out. One of my employees has used the emergency exit in our backroom that opens up into the designated smoking area and the construction area. He returns from his smoke break and opens the door to the backroom to come back to work, followed by someone who shouldn’t be in my backroom. The stranger walks right past me and out of my store.)

Me: “What the…?”

Employee: “He’s a foreman or something for the construction, and the security guards aren’t there to let him in. I just did him a favour.”

Me: “How noble of you, but you know better than to let a random dude from outside into the backroom! If the managers or head office had come in, you’d be in a ton of trouble! No more randoms through the backroom door, understood?”

Employee: “Yeah, I get it. My bad.”

(Ten minutes later, the same random dude walks back into the store.)

Construction Guy: “Can you let me out through there?”

Me: “No, sir. I can’t have non-employees going into the backroom. [Employee] let you in to do you a favour, but I can’t let you exit through there.”

Construction Guy: “Seriously? I’ve already been back there; stop being a d*** and just let me leave. The exit doors won’t open.”

Me: “Yeah, and that was a one-time deal, and a mistake that [Employee] made. But I can’t let you back there again. The security personnel just walked past the store; if you catch up to them, they’ll be more than happy to let you out.”

Construction Guy: “What the f***?! My truck is sitting out there!”

Me: “If you keep being so ridiculously crass in a store full of kids, I’m going to have security remove you. [Employee], call the security office.”

Construction Guy: “F*** YOU, A**HOLE! IF SOMEBODY STEALS MY TRUCK I’LL F****** SUE YOU!”

Me: “You can try, and now I’m going to escort you to the door.” *starts to walk around the counter*

Construction Guy: “Whatever! Hope you have a great day, b****!”

Me: “Thank you; I will. You take care, now.”

(He started to walk out, head turned to continue screaming profanities at me, and promptly walked right into the massive glass window at the front of the store. All the customers started laughing at him as he picked himself up and stormed out, as I chuckled and waved goodbye.)

Selling Cuteness Short

, , , , | Right | November 17, 2017

(I work in a plus-sized clothing store. We carry “regular” and “petite” sizes. The only difference between the two is length, as the “petites” are shorter.)

Customer: “So, what’s the deal with the petite pants?”

Me: “They are cut shorter than the regular sizes. The sizing is the same.”

Customer: “Oh, I thought they just did that to make it cute.”

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