Customer: “How much does a software cost?”
Yes… how much does “a” software cost…
Me: “Well, it depends on the software.”
Customer: “Yes, of course, but on average.”
Me: “Well… in-store, from free to over a thousand dollars.”
Customer: “Oh, I’ll take the free one, then, please!”
Me: “Sir, let me explain…”
Client: “You said you changed the images on the website, but they haven’t changed. Don’t you check these things once you do them?!”
Me: “I’m looking at them on my computer right now, and they are working.”
Client: “This is unacceptable. Don’t lie to me about work you don’t do.”
The client insisted that I go down to his office to discuss the terms of my contract and to explain what I could do to fix my “stupid mistake”.
The client made me sit down at his computer, with the old images from the site staring back at me.
Client: “Explain to me where the updated images are.”
I hit “refresh”.
Me: “Right there.”
Caller: “My computer is saying, ‘Can’t find the printer’!”
Me: “Okay, sounds like it might be—”
Caller: “I dun tried everythin’! I even turned the monitor to face it and yelled, ‘LOOKIE!’“
I managed to help her out… after I had stopped laughing.
Late one evening, I was reading some interesting article online when I heard a rustling sound in a corner of my room. I couldn’t see anything moving, convinced myself I had imagined it or it was something outside, and continued reading.
The sound repeated.
I suspected some pieces of paper that I had placed on sloped surfaces could have shifted, but I got more and more nervous when I heard the sound several times more. There have been mice in our walls. Could one of them have gotten into my room?
I stepped over to the suspicious corner and stood there waiting for the sound, but nothing happened. Oh right, of course, a mouse would hide when someone approached it.
Confirming my theory, the sound only repeated after I had returned to my desk. Oh, no, oh no, there’s a mouse in my room! It’s going to eat all my books! What do I do?!
Long story short, that article I was reading was designed to look like a multi-page booklet, and “turning a page” made a rustling sound effect that was emitted by the speaker I have in that corner of the room.
I encountered some overzealous filters when I worked in a hospital’s records section. I was trying to look up a newly developed type of radical prostatectomy once. The computer’s filter wouldn’t let me look at the British Urological Society’s website because words with “sexual connotations” were found there.
I had to get special permission for some of the websites I routinely used to research terms found in dictated documents.
I also had a link to an “online bartender” site on my computer because I handled paperwork for the drug/alcohol treatment wing and, as a nondrinker, I’d never heard of 90% of the patients’ beverages of choice.
