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Wireless, Clueless, Hopeless, Part 44

, , , , | Right | CREDIT: msgbubba | August 3, 2021

A few years ago, I was working as tech support for a security system company.

Me: “Tech support, this is [My Name]. How can I help?”

Customer: “I was just looking to get help with setting up my cameras.”

Me: “I would definitely be happy to help. First, you are going to need to go to the camera and press and hold the WPS button until the LED is flashing blue.”

Customer: “Okay, the little light is flashing.”

Me: “Okay. Now I need you to go to your router and press and hold the button for three seconds.”

Customer: “My what?”

Me: “Your router — it’s the box for your Internet.”

Customer: “But I ordered the Wi-Fi.”

Me: “I’m sorry?”

Customer: “I ordered the Wi-Fi; this system was supposed to have Wi-Fi.”

Me: *Facepalm* “Yes, the system is Wi-Fi capable, but you need to have Internet for it to work.”

Customer: “But is supposed to have Wi-Fi; that’s what I paid for.”

We go back and forth like this for a few minutes

Me: “Ma’am, you will need to get Internet for the cameras to work.”

Customer: “Then I just want to send them back.”

Me: “Sure thing. I will mail you a return label and you can send them back in the same box.”

Customer: “And could you cancel the Wi-Fi?”

Me: *Facepalm* “Yes, I’ll cancel the Wi-Fi.”

Customer: “Thank you.” *Click*

Me: *Long sigh*

Wireless, Clueless, Hopeless, Part 43
Wireless, Clueless, Hopeless, Part 42
Wireless, Clueless, Hopeless, Part 41
Wireless, Clueless, Hopeless, Part 40
Wireless, Clueless, Hopeless, Part 39

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Please, For The Love Of God, Retire!

, , , , , | Working | July 29, 2021

When I first started at my company, I was put with a coworker who was well past retirement age but stayed around as the company had this big thing about knowledge transfer from old employees to new.

Unfortunately, [Coworker]’s job has changed massively over the last five years. A lot of it has become automated by IT, meaning that after a while, [Coworker] couldn’t actually show me much of anything, and what he could show me was basic IT stuff that I was already better at than he was.

A good trainer would admit what they could and couldn’t teach, but [Coworker] would insist that he teach me, even on stuff that wasn’t relevant. Once, he tried to show me how to use equipment we didn’t even have — nor will we have again — and made me read the instruction manual. Front to back.

On his off days, I managed perfectly well. [Coworker] wouldn’t allow me to use things like Ctrl+C and Ctrl+V, so I was actually faster on my own.

Eventually, I was fed up enough to talk to my boss, who then sided with [Coworker]. In retaliation, [Coworker] made me read more instruction manuals.

After months of this, I was REALLY fed up. I was chatting to a friend who worked in another department. 

Me: “I don’t see the point of all this ‘training.’ I am not learning anything.”

Friend: “There is a job going in my department. I can ask to see if they will transfer you.”

Me: “Yeah, anything other than this. But I think [Boss] will block it. I’m supposed to be the guy that takes over from [Coworker].”

Friend: “My boss is pretty senior. I’m sure he could make it happen.”

I applied and hoped for the best. One day, I got an email to sneak over to the other department where I interviewed in a back office. I was eventually offered the job and told that they would make it happen, regardless of what my boss said.

It turned into weeks of arguing, but ultimately, I did get the job. [Coworker] had to fill in for me until they could get a replacement. I did hear that my old boss asked for me to go back and train [Coworker] on my job. Apparently, this was refused by my new boss, which is probably a good thing.

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This Won’t Leave You With A Warm Feeling

, , , , , | Related | July 26, 2021

It’s December 2019 and Australia is experiencing one of the worst bushfire seasons in history. The sky is constantly red-brown from smoke and ash and we are hearing about new fires popping up every day. A state of emergency has been declared and the general mood is one of fear and anxiety.

One morning, I’m trying to get my children fed and ready for school while trying to get the news to play on our [Smart Home Assistant]. I am getting cranky and shouty as “The Assistant” can’t hear me properly with my kids chattering away in the background.

Assistant: “Would you like to hear some soothing and relaxing sounds?”

Me: *Giving up* “SURE! Why not?”

“The Assistant” plays crackling fire sounds.

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This Is Going To Be A Very Long Account

, , , | Right | July 23, 2021

I was helping an elderly customer making their first customer account on our website. They did try from the website on a tablet and then the app on said tablet; they didn’t have a computer. After thirty minutes of it not working:

Customer: “Would it work on the app from a phone?”

Me: “Yes, that should work, but it might be difficult now since you’re talking with me.”

Customer: “The phone is around here somewhere, but it’s been hard to find all day.”

I assumed they maybe had two phones for different purposes, so I just waited… until the customer realised that they were using said phone to talk with me.

After a forty-minute phone call without them being able to make an account, they would now try on their own and call back the day after. I ended up staying until well after closing because of the call.

At least the customer was nice to talk to and joked about their own mistake, so that was not as bad as it could have been.

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Did The Earth Not Move For You, Too?

, , , , , , | Working | July 23, 2021

In 1974, I go to see the new disaster movie Earthquake. The high-budget movie features famous actors and “Sensurround”! This involves specialized bass speakers that create a sound wave that is more felt than heard. The speakers make the theater rumble during the earthquake scenes.

The movie follows the typical disaster movie formula. Part One introduces characters pre-disaster. Part Two shows characters during the disaster. Part Three shows the characters after the disaster.

In the movie, before the big quake, there is a pre-quake, but there is no Sensurround, and I wonder why. (I learn later that Sensurround should have been felt during the pre-quake.)

Everyone in the theater can tell that the earthquake is going to happen very soon. And then… the movie skips from Part One directly to Part Three, leaving out the earthquake part. The entire audience is wondering, “What the f***?”

Three minutes into Part Three, the movie stops and the theater lights come on. The projectionist messed up. Ten minutes later, the movie finally resumes with Part Two. We finally get to feel Sensurround, but the climactic moment in the movie is lost.

After the movie, I get in the long line with all the others wanting a voucher refund ticket. The manager is sitting at a folding card table in the lobby to sign refund vouchers and he is not happy. After ten minutes in line, it is finally my turn. The manager looks at me and says, “So why do you think that you deserve a refund?”

Internally, I just thought, “Whatever the forty people in front of me told you.”

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