The Motherboard Of All Misunderstandings

, , , | | Right | August 20, 2019

(We do a motherboard replacement for a customer. Everything seems to be fine except that a moment or two after Windows loads, the screen takes on a yellow tinge. Since it does the same thing when hooked up to an external monitor, we figure the parts distributor has sent a motherboard with a faulty video chip — the logic being that if it was a screen issue, then an external monitor would look normal. I have reloaded the video driver just in case, with the same results. So, I make the dreaded call to the customer, who’s a 20-something kid with a bit of an attitude.)

Me: “It’s looking like the parts distributor sent us a faulty motherboard, since it gets this yellow tinge after it loads Windows.”

Customer: “Oh, yeah, it’s supposed to do that. It’s an app I put in which reduces glare at night.” 

Me: “So… you know we’re putting in a new motherboard and it doesn’t occur to you to tell us that you run an app which turns the screen yellow?!

(We try to get as much info from clients as we can – passwords, exact symptoms, what antivirus and version of Windows they run, etc. It has never occurred to me that I should need to ask someone if they TINT THEIR FRIGGING SCREEN. So, we wasted an hour of our time troubleshooting a problem that wasn’t a problem. Under normal circumstances, an issue like this — in my experience — would be hardware-related. And people wonder why I get high blood pressure.)

Unfiltered Story #159117

, , , | | Unfiltered | July 27, 2019

(I fix computers at our company. Working a little passed closing hours, about to close up shop, and I see a customer walking in. I greet him and inform him we have been closed for 10 minutes now, but ask him if I may help anyways.)

Customer: I need to put in an order.
Me: Sir, you need to contact your sales rep to place an order.
Customer: I don’t have a rep, I just need to put in an order.
Me: Sir, it is after hours, our sales guys are gone, let me give you their number.
Customer: (see’s the warehouse through the open door) I see your parts right there, why can’t you just grab it?
Me: Sir, a sales order can only be created by a sales rep. I am a technician, I cannot create sales orders.
Customer: I just need a g** d*** handle!!
Me: (confused) What kind of handle are you talking about? Most computers don’t have handles.
Customer: Computer?! I need a door handle!
Me: Sir, you are in the wrong building. This is [Company Name]. [Correct company] is next door.
(Customer storms out, and I laugh as I close up shop. I go to my car and see the same customer in the parking lot next door.)
Customer: Uh, hey?! Do you have any idea how I can contact these guys?!
Me: Sorry, sir I don’t work for them, and have no idea. What’s their business hours?
Customer: 9 AM – 5 PM
Me: Sir, it is 5:30 PM. Please come back tomorrow, and go to the correct building. Have a good rest of the evening!

A Cents-less Complaint

, , , , , | | Right | May 13, 2019

(At our store, when the chain stops carrying an item but we still have some in stock for a long time afterward, the price of the item is adjusted to one cent before the inventory manager actually goes around to collect the items and destroy them. We have one customer who must either spend all his time on our website looking for these things or he has some program set up to do it for him, because he orders almost every single one of them for in-store pickup before we can actually dispose of them. Furthermore, one-cent items are all he ever buys. He has probably bought hundreds of things over several years, and in that entire time, he has only paid the store a few dollars. Today, he gets mad at us because we can’t find some batteries he ordered. We have offered him some other, equivalent batteries at half-price to make up for it. This conversation is between him and one of the managers.)

Customer: “It’s not right! I ordered four cents’ worth of batteries and your worker tried to make me spend ten dollars, instead!”

Manager: “Mhmm. She assumed you actually needed the batteries and tried to find the least expensive substitute for you.”

Customer: “She’s trying to rob me for her own commission! Your customer service here just keeps getting worse. Give these to me for the same price as the ones I ordered.”

Manager: “We can’t do that, since that is less than we paid for them. We would be losing money.”

Customer: “Well, I’m just going to take my business to [Online Retailer] from now on!”

Manager: “Go for it. Good luck finding one-cent items there.”

A Walking Joke Becomes A Running Joke

, , , , , , | Working | April 24, 2019

I was laptop shopping with my Dad, looking for a small laptop to take on my travels. This was ten years ago or so before iPads were really a thing, so I needed a small laptop to keep in touch with home.

We were browsing the different laptops when a member of staff came up to ask if we needed any help.

Dad had already noticed that there were higher-spec laptops for less money, but they were too big for my use, so he queried with the member of staff why they were cheaper.

The reply was that bigger laptops are heavier; therefore you can’t walk as fast with them, so people won’t pay as much for them.

I had to walk away to stop myself from laughing in this poor guy’s face. It’s still a running joke; when I added an extra SSD to my laptop today we said it has lost its value now as I won’t be able to walk as fast with it.

Charged With Battering The Battery

, , , , | Right | January 16, 2019

(This happens back in the mid-2000s when I work at a computer store that will later go belly-up. I am a service tech, meaning all I do is check in computers. There are actual techs who work on the machines, and I flat-out make a point to explain that I am not technically proficient to give advice on how to fix machines.)

Customer: “My laptop won’t stay on, even with the battery, anymore. It won’t hold a charge. What do you think I should do?”

Me: “It’s hard to say… It could be the battery, or it could be the laptop. We can check it in for testing. It’s initially $19, and if there’s anything wrong with it, the techs can advise you from there.”

Customer: “Hmm… $19 to get it looked at? I mean… couldn’t it just be the battery? Maybe I should just get another battery.”

Me: “Maybe. I’m not a tech, so I can’t say if it is or not, and it’s not been tested. Besides, batteries run over $100 in some cases, so it may be cheaper to have the tech look at it. If the laptop is under warranty, it may be something easily fixed for free.”

Customer: “Yeah, but I don’t have that long. I have to travel this weekend, and I need to take it with me. What kind of batteries do you have for [Model]?”

Me: *shows him the different ones, none of which match his model laptop, as it’s an older computer* “I really wouldn’t suggest buying one of these unless you know it works with your computer, though. Since you didn’t bring it with you, choosing one blindly wouldn’t be wise. We don’t accept batteries back once they’ve been opened.”

Customer: “That’s okay. I’m sure it’s this one.”

(The model version is for a newer type of laptop than what he has. I suggest again that he bring his laptop with him to try them out, but he decides to buy it all the same. Cue a month later…)

Customer: *red in the face* “You sold me the wrong battery! I want my money back, now!

Me: “Sir, all returns are at the returns desk. And I hate to tell you that we don’t take batteries back.”

Customer: “Yes, you did! You flat-out told me to buy this one!”

(I hadn’t remembered the man at first, but it finally clicks when he shows me the battery in question.)

Me: “Ah… Yes, it didn’t fit, did it? I did warn you to bring your laptop up here. We’re not able to take the battery back, just because it didn’t fit. We could only take it back if it was malfunctioning.”

Customer: “TAKE IT BACK!”

(He threw his plastic bag at me, which did nothing but float to the ground. By this time, our tech manager wa at the desk talking to him and backing up what I’d said. The general manager was then called and she told him word for word what I had told him. He started screaming and throwing such a tantrum that she told him to leave the store or she would call the police. He went outside and started slamming the battery against the brick column outside the store, then tried to come back in and claim that the battery was malfunctioning. Such a waste. He could have sold that and gotten most of his money back elsewhere.)

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