Needs To Update His Newsfeed, Not His Operating System

, , , , , | Right | September 16, 2019

(It is September 16, 2001, five days after the terrorist attacks on the USA’s east coast. While we are 3000 miles from there, many people have friends or family who have been affected. Our computer store was supposed to have the new Mac OS available, but with plane flights suspended, we haven’t gotten it yet. One man is less than understanding, and is screaming at my coworker:)

Customer: “What do you mean, you don’t have it?! Your ad promised it would be here, and I reserved a copy weeks ago! How can you not have it?!”

(He pauses for breath and I put on my best “helpful customer service” voice.)

Me: “Sir, due to the terrorist attacks Tuesday, in which thousands of people died, shipping has been disrupted. Would you like to leave your name and number so we can call you when your order arrives?” *which we’d be doing for everyone who pre-ordered, anyway*

Customer: *after a long pause, blushes, and whispers* “No, thank you; I’ll check back later.”

(At least he had the grace to be embarrassed.)

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The Motherboard Of All Misunderstandings

, , , | Right | August 20, 2019

(We do a motherboard replacement for a customer. Everything seems to be fine except that a moment or two after Windows loads, the screen takes on a yellow tinge. Since it does the same thing when hooked up to an external monitor, we figure the parts distributor has sent a motherboard with a faulty video chip — the logic being that if it was a screen issue, then an external monitor would look normal. I have reloaded the video driver just in case, with the same results. So, I make the dreaded call to the customer, who’s a 20-something kid with a bit of an attitude.)

Me: “It’s looking like the parts distributor sent us a faulty motherboard, since it gets this yellow tinge after it loads Windows.”

Customer: “Oh, yeah, it’s supposed to do that. It’s an app I put in which reduces glare at night.” 

Me: “So… you know we’re putting in a new motherboard and it doesn’t occur to you to tell us that you run an app which turns the screen yellow?!

(We try to get as much info from clients as we can – passwords, exact symptoms, what antivirus and version of Windows they run, etc. It has never occurred to me that I should need to ask someone if they TINT THEIR FRIGGING SCREEN. So, we wasted an hour of our time troubleshooting a problem that wasn’t a problem. Under normal circumstances, an issue like this — in my experience — would be hardware-related. And people wonder why I get high blood pressure.)

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Unfiltered Story #159117

, , , | Unfiltered | July 27, 2019

(I fix computers at our company. Working a little passed closing hours, about to close up shop, and I see a customer walking in. I greet him and inform him we have been closed for 10 minutes now, but ask him if I may help anyways.)

Customer: I need to put in an order.
Me: Sir, you need to contact your sales rep to place an order.
Customer: I don’t have a rep, I just need to put in an order.
Me: Sir, it is after hours, our sales guys are gone, let me give you their number.
Customer: (see’s the warehouse through the open door) I see your parts right there, why can’t you just grab it?
Me: Sir, a sales order can only be created by a sales rep. I am a technician, I cannot create sales orders.
Customer: I just need a g** d*** handle!!
Me: (confused) What kind of handle are you talking about? Most computers don’t have handles.
Customer: Computer?! I need a door handle!
Me: Sir, you are in the wrong building. This is [Company Name]. [Correct company] is next door.
(Customer storms out, and I laugh as I close up shop. I go to my car and see the same customer in the parking lot next door.)
Customer: Uh, hey?! Do you have any idea how I can contact these guys?!
Me: Sorry, sir I don’t work for them, and have no idea. What’s their business hours?
Customer: 9 AM – 5 PM
Me: Sir, it is 5:30 PM. Please come back tomorrow, and go to the correct building. Have a good rest of the evening!

A Cents-less Complaint

, , , , , | Right | May 13, 2019

(At our store, when the chain stops carrying an item but we still have some in stock for a long time afterward, the price of the item is adjusted to one cent before the inventory manager actually goes around to collect the items and destroy them. We have one customer who must either spend all his time on our website looking for these things or he has some program set up to do it for him, because he orders almost every single one of them for in-store pickup before we can actually dispose of them. Furthermore, one-cent items are all he ever buys. He has probably bought hundreds of things over several years, and in that entire time, he has only paid the store a few dollars. Today, he gets mad at us because we can’t find some batteries he ordered. We have offered him some other, equivalent batteries at half-price to make up for it. This conversation is between him and one of the managers.)

Customer: “It’s not right! I ordered four cents’ worth of batteries and your worker tried to make me spend ten dollars, instead!”

Manager: “Mhmm. She assumed you actually needed the batteries and tried to find the least expensive substitute for you.”

Customer: “She’s trying to rob me for her own commission! Your customer service here just keeps getting worse. Give these to me for the same price as the ones I ordered.”

Manager: “We can’t do that, since that is less than we paid for them. We would be losing money.”

Customer: “Well, I’m just going to take my business to [Online Retailer] from now on!”

Manager: “Go for it. Good luck finding one-cent items there.”

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A Walking Joke Becomes A Running Joke

, , , , , | Working | April 24, 2019

I was laptop shopping with my Dad, looking for a small laptop to take on my travels. This was ten years ago or so before iPads were really a thing, so I needed a small laptop to keep in touch with home.

We were browsing the different laptops when a member of staff came up to ask if we needed any help.

Dad had already noticed that there were higher-spec laptops for less money, but they were too big for my use, so he queried with the member of staff why they were cheaper.

The reply was that bigger laptops are heavier; therefore you can’t walk as fast with them, so people won’t pay as much for them.

I had to walk away to stop myself from laughing in this poor guy’s face. It’s still a running joke; when I added an extra SSD to my laptop today we said it has lost its value now as I won’t be able to walk as fast with it.

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