Charged With Battering The Battery

, , , , | Right | January 16, 2019

(This happens back in the mid-2000s when I work at a computer store that will later go belly-up. I am a service tech, meaning all I do is check in computers. There are actual techs who work on the machines, and I flat-out make a point to explain that I am not technically proficient to give advice on how to fix machines.)

Customer: “My laptop won’t stay on, even with the battery, anymore. It won’t hold a charge. What do you think I should do?”

Me: “It’s hard to say… It could be the battery, or it could be the laptop. We can check it in for testing. It’s initially $19, and if there’s anything wrong with it, the techs can advise you from there.”

Customer: “Hmm… $19 to get it looked at? I mean… couldn’t it just be the battery? Maybe I should just get another battery.”

Me: “Maybe. I’m not a tech, so I can’t say if it is or not, and it’s not been tested. Besides, batteries run over $100 in some cases, so it may be cheaper to have the tech look at it. If the laptop is under warranty, it may be something easily fixed for free.”

Customer: “Yeah, but I don’t have that long. I have to travel this weekend, and I need to take it with me. What kind of batteries do you have for [Model]?”

Me: *shows him the different ones, none of which match his model laptop, as it’s an older computer* “I really wouldn’t suggest buying one of these unless you know it works with your computer, though. Since you didn’t bring it with you, choosing one blindly wouldn’t be wise. We don’t accept batteries back once they’ve been opened.”

Customer: “That’s okay. I’m sure it’s this one.”

(The model version is for a newer type of laptop than what he has. I suggest again that he bring his laptop with him to try them out, but he decides to buy it all the same. Cue a month later…)

Customer: *red in the face* “You sold me the wrong battery! I want my money back, now!

Me: “Sir, all returns are at the returns desk. And I hate to tell you that we don’t take batteries back.”

Customer: “Yes, you did! You flat-out told me to buy this one!”

(I hadn’t remembered the man at first, but it finally clicks when he shows me the battery in question.)

Me: “Ah… Yes, it didn’t fit, did it? I did warn you to bring your laptop up here. We’re not able to take the battery back, just because it didn’t fit. We could only take it back if it was malfunctioning.”

Customer: “TAKE IT BACK!”

(He threw his plastic bag at me, which did nothing but float to the ground. By this time, our tech manager wa at the desk talking to him and backing up what I’d said. The general manager was then called and she told him word for word what I had told him. He started screaming and throwing such a tantrum that she told him to leave the store or she would call the police. He went outside and started slamming the battery against the brick column outside the store, then tried to come back in and claim that the battery was malfunctioning. Such a waste. He could have sold that and gotten most of his money back elsewhere.)

Coming From An Anti-Trust Fund

, , , , | Legal | January 11, 2019

(I’m working as a cashier in a computer retail store. I haven’t had much experience with scams at the register. The policy is that if a card does not go through the card reader, we can enter it in manually, but if it’s still rejected a phone number will automatically pop up on the registers for us to try and call to authorize the purchase with a code they give us. A lot of the time this will happen if it’s a large, out-of-the-ordinary purchase. This gentleman comes up to purchase multiple Apple products worth $5,000.)

Me: “Okay, your total is [amount]. How would you like to pay?”

Scammer: “Oh, I have this credit card, but it’s not like a normal credit card. It’s for a trust fund, so I’ll have to call my bank on my phone and they’ll give you the authorization number.”

(Red Flag #1.)

Me: “Oh, um, okay, let’s just run it through the normal way and see what happens.” *runs card but it’s denied*

Scammer: “See? I told you. Here. I’ll call my bank and they can give the okay.” *begins to dial*

Me: “I’m sorry, but I can’t talk to your bank on your phone; I have to go through my system. Let me try it manually.”

(I go through the steps, calling the number on my register to give the information. The customer is beginning to get more and more agitated as the time goes on. The card is denied again.)

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, but your card has been declined. Do you have another form of payment?”

Scammer: “No, I already told you this isn’t like a normal card.” *starts shoving his phone in my face* “My bank is on the phone right now; talk to them!”

Me: “Sir, that is not how we can authorize cards. I cannot verify who is on the other end of your phone.”

Scammer: “Get me your manager! I’m trying to spend my good money here!”

(The scammer goes through the same song and dance with my manager. My manager backs me up, denying the customer.)

Scammer: *throw his hands in the air* “Fine! FINE! You just lost a customer; I’m never coming here again!” *storms off*

Me: *under my breath* “No, please, come back and steal from us!”

(I was commended for standing my ground and not giving in to him.)

Unfiltered Story #135429

, | Unfiltered | January 4, 2019

I was in the computer store the other day, and saw this
Customer: * virtually through his laptop on desk* FIX IT!
staff: what’s wrong with it
Customer: you should know, you’re the member of staff are you not?
Staff: I can only help you if you tell me what is wrong with it
Customer: FIX IT NOW OR ILL CALL YOUR MANAGER
Staff: sure, let me get my manager now
Manager: what seems to be the issue?
Customer: this lady won’t help me with my computer
Manager:[name], is this true
Staff: I am afraid it is, because she will not tell me the problem
Manager: I will take it from here
Staff: okay
Manager: what seems to be the issue
Customer: for bleeps sake! (He did not actually say bleeps)
Manager: I now see why she wouldn’t help you
Me: I agree, I have an iPad with an issue and if I was asked the issue, I would’ve said so
Customer: how much did you pay her to say that
Me: what the bleep, She did not
Staff: you have been exceptionally mood, get out
Customer: fine * walks out without laptop*
Me: thank bleeping god

Scotty And McCoy Haven’t Invented It Yet

, , , , | Right | December 13, 2018

(A customer shows me a case for a small, single-board computer that’s roughly the size of a smartphone. The case is very obviously made entirely of aluminum, and is labeled as such on the package.)

Customer: “Do you have this case in clear?”

Me: “No.”

Unfiltered Story #127565

, | Unfiltered | November 21, 2018

(This actually happened to my partner, when he worked in a fruit based computer store – a few days after the much hyped tablet was originally released)

Employee – Good afternoon sir, may I help you?

Customer (gesturing at tablet) – I’ve heard these things are amazing but I have a question.

Employee – No problem sir, what is it you needed to know?

Customer – Are they self aware?

Employee – …..I’m sorry?

Customer – are they self aware?

Employee – Ummmm no? These computers do not possess any AI capabilities or consciousness…..

Customer – Are you sure? Because the computers are going to take over the world and we will be their SLAVES!!!!

(Customer then tried to rip them off the counter and ran out of the store screaming!)

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