A Cents-less Complaint

, , , , , | | Right | May 13, 2019

(At our store, when the chain stops carrying an item but we still have some in stock for a long time afterward, the price of the item is adjusted to one cent before the inventory manager actually goes around to collect the items and destroy them. We have one customer who must either spend all his time on our website looking for these things or he has some program set up to do it for him, because he orders almost every single one of them for in-store pickup before we can actually dispose of them. Furthermore, one-cent items are all he ever buys. He has probably bought hundreds of things over several years, and in that entire time, he has only paid the store a few dollars. Today, he gets mad at us because we can’t find some batteries he ordered. We have offered him some other, equivalent batteries at half-price to make up for it. This conversation is between him and one of the managers.)

Customer: “It’s not right! I ordered four cents’ worth of batteries and your worker tried to make me spend ten dollars, instead!”

Manager: “Mhmm. She assumed you actually needed the batteries and tried to find the least expensive substitute for you.”

Customer: “She’s trying to rob me for her own commission! Your customer service here just keeps getting worse. Give these to me for the same price as the ones I ordered.”

Manager: “We can’t do that, since that is less than we paid for them. We would be losing money.”

Customer: “Well, I’m just going to take my business to [Online Retailer] from now on!”

Manager: “Go for it. Good luck finding one-cent items there.”

A Walking Joke Becomes A Running Joke

, , , , , , | Working | April 24, 2019

I was laptop shopping with my Dad, looking for a small laptop to take on my travels. This was ten years ago or so before iPads were really a thing, so I needed a small laptop to keep in touch with home.

We were browsing the different laptops when a member of staff came up to ask if we needed any help.

Dad had already noticed that there were higher-spec laptops for less money, but they were too big for my use, so he queried with the member of staff why they were cheaper.

The reply was that bigger laptops are heavier; therefore you can’t walk as fast with them, so people won’t pay as much for them.

I had to walk away to stop myself from laughing in this poor guy’s face. It’s still a running joke; when I added an extra SSD to my laptop today we said it has lost its value now as I won’t be able to walk as fast with it.

Charged With Battering The Battery

, , , , | Right | January 16, 2019

(This happens back in the mid-2000s when I work at a computer store that will later go belly-up. I am a service tech, meaning all I do is check in computers. There are actual techs who work on the machines, and I flat-out make a point to explain that I am not technically proficient to give advice on how to fix machines.)

Customer: “My laptop won’t stay on, even with the battery, anymore. It won’t hold a charge. What do you think I should do?”

Me: “It’s hard to say… It could be the battery, or it could be the laptop. We can check it in for testing. It’s initially $19, and if there’s anything wrong with it, the techs can advise you from there.”

Customer: “Hmm… $19 to get it looked at? I mean… couldn’t it just be the battery? Maybe I should just get another battery.”

Me: “Maybe. I’m not a tech, so I can’t say if it is or not, and it’s not been tested. Besides, batteries run over $100 in some cases, so it may be cheaper to have the tech look at it. If the laptop is under warranty, it may be something easily fixed for free.”

Customer: “Yeah, but I don’t have that long. I have to travel this weekend, and I need to take it with me. What kind of batteries do you have for [Model]?”

Me: *shows him the different ones, none of which match his model laptop, as it’s an older computer* “I really wouldn’t suggest buying one of these unless you know it works with your computer, though. Since you didn’t bring it with you, choosing one blindly wouldn’t be wise. We don’t accept batteries back once they’ve been opened.”

Customer: “That’s okay. I’m sure it’s this one.”

(The model version is for a newer type of laptop than what he has. I suggest again that he bring his laptop with him to try them out, but he decides to buy it all the same. Cue a month later…)

Customer: *red in the face* “You sold me the wrong battery! I want my money back, now!

Me: “Sir, all returns are at the returns desk. And I hate to tell you that we don’t take batteries back.”

Customer: “Yes, you did! You flat-out told me to buy this one!”

(I hadn’t remembered the man at first, but it finally clicks when he shows me the battery in question.)

Me: “Ah… Yes, it didn’t fit, did it? I did warn you to bring your laptop up here. We’re not able to take the battery back, just because it didn’t fit. We could only take it back if it was malfunctioning.”

Customer: “TAKE IT BACK!”

(He threw his plastic bag at me, which did nothing but float to the ground. By this time, our tech manager wa at the desk talking to him and backing up what I’d said. The general manager was then called and she told him word for word what I had told him. He started screaming and throwing such a tantrum that she told him to leave the store or she would call the police. He went outside and started slamming the battery against the brick column outside the store, then tried to come back in and claim that the battery was malfunctioning. Such a waste. He could have sold that and gotten most of his money back elsewhere.)

Coming From An Anti-Trust Fund

, , , , | Legal | January 11, 2019

(I’m working as a cashier in a computer retail store. I haven’t had much experience with scams at the register. The policy is that if a card does not go through the card reader, we can enter it in manually, but if it’s still rejected a phone number will automatically pop up on the registers for us to try and call to authorize the purchase with a code they give us. A lot of the time this will happen if it’s a large, out-of-the-ordinary purchase. This gentleman comes up to purchase multiple Apple products worth $5,000.)

Me: “Okay, your total is [amount]. How would you like to pay?”

Scammer: “Oh, I have this credit card, but it’s not like a normal credit card. It’s for a trust fund, so I’ll have to call my bank on my phone and they’ll give you the authorization number.”

(Red Flag #1.)

Me: “Oh, um, okay, let’s just run it through the normal way and see what happens.” *runs card but it’s denied*

Scammer: “See? I told you. Here. I’ll call my bank and they can give the okay.” *begins to dial*

Me: “I’m sorry, but I can’t talk to your bank on your phone; I have to go through my system. Let me try it manually.”

(I go through the steps, calling the number on my register to give the information. The customer is beginning to get more and more agitated as the time goes on. The card is denied again.)

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, but your card has been declined. Do you have another form of payment?”

Scammer: “No, I already told you this isn’t like a normal card.” *starts shoving his phone in my face* “My bank is on the phone right now; talk to them!”

Me: “Sir, that is not how we can authorize cards. I cannot verify who is on the other end of your phone.”

Scammer: “Get me your manager! I’m trying to spend my good money here!”

(The scammer goes through the same song and dance with my manager. My manager backs me up, denying the customer.)

Scammer: *throw his hands in the air* “Fine! FINE! You just lost a customer; I’m never coming here again!” *storms off*

Me: *under my breath* “No, please, come back and steal from us!”

(I was commended for standing my ground and not giving in to him.)

Unfiltered Story #135429

, | Unfiltered | January 4, 2019

I was in the computer store the other day, and saw this
Customer: * virtually through his laptop on desk* FIX IT!
staff: what’s wrong with it
Customer: you should know, you’re the member of staff are you not?
Staff: I can only help you if you tell me what is wrong with it
Customer: FIX IT NOW OR ILL CALL YOUR MANAGER
Staff: sure, let me get my manager now
Manager: what seems to be the issue?
Customer: this lady won’t help me with my computer
Manager:[name], is this true
Staff: I am afraid it is, because she will not tell me the problem
Manager: I will take it from here
Staff: okay
Manager: what seems to be the issue
Customer: for bleeps sake! (He did not actually say bleeps)
Manager: I now see why she wouldn’t help you
Me: I agree, I have an iPad with an issue and if I was asked the issue, I would’ve said so
Customer: how much did you pay her to say that
Me: what the bleep, She did not
Staff: you have been exceptionally mood, get out
Customer: fine * walks out without laptop*
Me: thank bleeping god

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