Some Goggles Into A Weird World

, , , , | Right | June 13, 2018

(I fix computers and electronics at a small-town electronics shop, in what is a pretty touristy town in the summer. In the winter the lake is frozen over and the tourists tend to stay home. It is currently the middle of winter, and well below freezing. My manager walks over.)

Manager: “Hey, you have a lot of experience working with small things; do you think you could fix this?”

(I look up to see a ten- to twelve-year-old girl peeking over my counter, and my manager hands me a pair of swim goggles with the nose-piece in the center unclipped from both eye cups.)

Me: “Uh… Sure? I can take a look?”

Manager: “I tried to get them back together, but my fingers just can’t work with something that small.”

(I manage to get the nose piece snapped back onto the eye cups, fixing the swimming goggles.)

Me: “Here you go.”

(My manager hands them back to the little girl, who whispers something to my manager and hands her something I can’t see. The little girl runs off happily.)

Manager: “You get a treat!”

(She hands me a small chocolate bar that the girl has given her to give me.)

Me: “Uh, thanks?”

Manager: “She couldn’t figure out why her mother sent her here to get those fixed. I guess because it’s difficult.”

(I was left very touched by the little girl sharing her treat, but very confused why she was sent to an electronics store to get swim goggles fixed… and wondering where she was going to go swimming in the frozen-over lake.)

A Battery Of Jokes

, , , , , , | | Right | May 30, 2018

(I work at a small chain electronics retailer. We have to ask each customer for their phone number, name, and address. I usually don’t if I think it will cost me a sale, but sometimes I just have to. The customer has a right to refuse, and I usually let them know that if I sense any hesitation. Today, I try my luck with a customer buying a specialty battery.)

Customer #1: “Here! This battery! That’s all!”

Me: “Hi! May I have your phone number for the receipt?”

([Customer #1] throws up his hands and storms out before I can even tell him he can refuse. I begin voiding the order when I notice he left his book. I take it aside so nobody steals it. The customer storms back in for his book.)

Me: *while handing him back his book* “Okay, that will be $16.04.”

Customer #1: *perplexed that I would even dare try to ring the sale* “I DON’T WANT IT!”

Me: “Okay, hope your day gets better.”

([Customer #1] stares at me, then storms off. [Customer #2] reaches the counter.)

Me: “Hi! Can I have your phone number for the receipt?”

Customer #2: *jokingly* “Do I need to throw a temper tantrum, too, or can I just tell you no?”

Me: *serious but friendly* “I don’t need it unless you’re buying a cell phone, but in that case, the system would have your info, anyway.” *now jokingly* “I would also accept a picture of you in a zebra costume.”

([Customer #2] is caught off guard and is laughing throughout the purchase. My manager comes up to me after and makes a comment.)

Manager: “Well, you made one battery customer storm off angrily and another giggle on his way out.”

Me: “I guess you can say they were… POLAR OPPOSITES.”

(At this point, every customer and employee who knows anything about electromagnetism starts laughing.)

Me: “Goodnight, ladies and gentlemen. I’ll be here all week.”

Some Customers Need A Lite Touch

, , , | | Right | May 26, 2018

Customer: “I would like to buy the iPad Mini Air Lite.”

Me: “Um… I’m sorry; I’m confused. What kind of iPad are you looking for?”

Customer: “The iPad Mini.”

Me: “Okay.”

Customer: “Air Lite.”

Me: “I’m sorry?”

Customer: “It’s called an iPad Mini Air Lite.”

Me: “Hmm… I don’t think that’s a thing. There’s an iPad Mini, and there’s an ipad Air. I don’t think there’s an iPad Lite, though.”

Customer: “Oh, dear. I was sure it was called the iPad Mini Air Lite. It was in the flyer!”

(I page a coworker in electronics to call me, since I’m just on cash.)

Me: “Do we have, um… iPad Mini Air Lites?”

Coworker: *laughing on the other end of the line* “No. I’ll come talk to her.”

(She bought an iPad Mini.)

I Don’t Work Here, Does Not Work Here, Part 33

, , , | | Right | May 25, 2018

(I work at a sports shop, and have gone straight from there to an electronics shop, so I can help my dad find the cable he needs. My uniform is very distinct, a bright red polo — with the shop’s name in very big letters on the back — and navy joggers, so as to look sporty. The uniform in the electronics shop is a black dress shirt and dress trousers, so as to look professional. I am currently facing a wall, so I have my back to everyone in the shop. I’m quite irritable due to having a bad shift and having no sleep, and it must be noted I am weird with people touching me depending on how much I know them — strangers often get shouted at and hurt. My dad very rarely intervenes because he know I can handle myself, but will do something if he sees it’s getting out of control. We’re both big swearers.)

Me: “Hey, Dad, pass me that—”

Customer #1: “Excuse me. Can you help me?”

Me: *ignoring them, as I don’t think they’re talking to me* “Pass us that one; I can’t see it from here.”

Customer #1: *taps my shoulder* “EXCUSE ME!”

Me: *CLEARLY irritated by being touched* “What? I don’t work here.”

Customer #1: “I want that TV.”

Me: “Good for you.”

(I turn back around to help my dad, but the customer grabs my shoulder, so I push away from him a little.)

Me: “What the f*** are you playing at? Touch me again and—”

Customer #1: “I want that TV; it’s your job to get it for me. I want to speak to your manager.”

Me: “Well, go into f****** town and talk to her, then.”

Customer #1: “GO GET HER FOR ME!”

Dad: “Listen, mate, she doesn’t work here; she’s helping me because she’s my f****** daughter. Don’t talk to her like that.”

Customer #1: “I’m a paying customer. I demand to speak to your manager.”

Me: “Then go into town and speak to her. I don’t work here; she doesn’t work here. Nobody I work with works here, because I work at [Shop]. Leave me alone before I call the police for harassment and assault.”

Customer #1: “FINE! I’ll find your manager.”

(We don’t see him again. Three minutes later, my back is still facing the shop.)

Customer #2: “Excuse me, miss.”

Me: “Not again.” *turns around*

Customer #2: “Oh! You don’t work here; I’m so sorry.”

Me: “Oh, thank f***.”

I Don’t Work Here, Does Not Work Here, Part 32
I Don’t Work Here, Does Not Work Here, Part 31
I Don’t Work Here, Does Not Work Here, Part 30

“Tempted By Flesh,” Now On Kindle!

, , | | Right | May 24, 2018

(A customer comes in with his tablet; he’s been having a lot of problems with his eBook account and wants a hand.)

Customer: “Can you please help me get this book onto my account? I bought it the other day but can’t see it. The book in there should be [Christian-based book about Jesus].”

(I go through the app and cannot find any trace of the book.)

Me: “I cannot seem to find the book anywhere. Do you mind if I access your web browser so I can have a look at your settings for your eBook account?”

(The customer had no problem with the gesture. I went to open up the browser. About ten porn tabs were already open. I looked up at the old man and quickly exited the browser, as there were customers behind him who probably saw it. He didn’t even looked phased or embarrassed; he just stood there.)


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