(I’m told a call will be coming back to me in the home theater from an upset customer.)

Me: “Thanks for calling [Store]. This is [My Name]. How can I help you?”

Customer: “I bought a television from you earlier today and the power cord doesn’t work.”

Me: “Okay… what seems to be the problem with it?”

Customer: “It doesn’t plug in right! It goes into the TV just fine but it doesn’t fit the outlet!”

(At this point, there are several possibilities, so I try to start narrowing it down.)

Me: “Was it an open box TV? We’ve been selling a lot of those lately.”

Customer: “No, it was a BRAND NEW TV.”

Me: “Okay, hang on.”

(I check to see if the power adapter is a brick-style that has two pieces. It doesn’t appear to be, but just in case, I ask.)

Me: “What does the power cord look like?

Customer: “It has the end that goes into the TV, and then the other end is just rubber! It doesn’t fit the outlet!”

Me: *as realization is dawning* “Does the rubber end come off the cord? Is it just a protective cap?”

Customer: “…Ha! It sure does! Thanks!”

(After the customer hung up, I uttered what can only be described as Kif’s weary sigh. That wasn’t the only incident today, but it’s the most notable.)

(I am working at my store on Black Friday and it has been extremely busy throughout my entire shift. It is so busy that I can’t get anyone to cover me for my lunch and just as I am about to clock out for the day, a man and a small child come to my register. He silently puts a popular MP3 player, that recently just came out, on the counter and I scan it. He is quiet for the whole transaction until he sees the total price.)

Customer: “No, that’s not right. You do price matching. This [MP3 Player] is 99.99 on Amazon. I want that price.”

Me: “I will be happy to help you, sir, just let me pull the [MP3 Player] up on Amazon to double check.”

Customer: “Can’t you just give me the price?”

Me: “I’m sorry, but since it’s on Amazon I have to double check to make sure the price is not from a third party seller.”

(Throughout the whole time I am pulling up Amazon on the computer, the customer does nothing complain about the horrible service he is receiving and how ridiculous it is to check to see if he was telling the truth. I pull up the MP3 player and see that the one he is talking about is indeed from a third party seller. When I show him this, he completely flips out and complains about how we are scamming him out of his money.)

Me: “I am so sorry, sir, but that is our policy. Unfortunately, we can only price match items if they are sold and shipped from Amazon. Would you still like to buy the [MP3 Player]?”

Customer: “No, I don’t, and thanks for ruining my kid’s Christmas.”

Me: “Okay, sir, I am so sorry about that. I hope you have a great rest of your day and a wonderful holiday season.”

(The customer is turning around to walk out the door and when I say that. He abruptly turns around and glares at me.)

Customer: “GET ME YOUR MANAGER, NOW!”

(I called my manager and when he arrived, the customer told him how I was treating him rudely throughout the whole transaction, refused him service, and told him how I made his son upset and was ruining his Christmas. When my manager asked me if what he was saying was true, I said no and told him the situation and even brought up the webpage to show him I was just following the store policy. The customer started yelling that I was lying. To my surprise, my manager gave him a gift card as a way to say sorry and pulled me to his office. When I tried explaining that he wanted me to take more than 80% off the MP3 player to price match the third party seller, he didn’t believe me and told me he was going to let me go. Looking back, I realize that it was their loss because I was only doing what they were telling me to do and I am now working at an office job that treats their employees a lot better than that store I used to work at.)

(I am the customer in this story. I am shopping at a smaller electronics store in a local mall. It is early afternoon so I am the only one in the whole store. I am buying a couple movies for my dad and a CD for my sister. After I hand over my card and the cashier swipes it the whole system freezes.)

Cashier: “God d*** AGAIN! This has already happened twice today. I am so sorry for the inconvenience but the computer froze and now I have to get the manager to reboot the system. It’s probably going to take a couple minutes though.”

Me: “Oh, that’s fine. I don’t mind waiting.”

Cashier: *fetches manager and starts rebooting computer* “Again I am very sorry.”

Manager: “I wish this could go faster but this is the only register we have open and this is probably going to take about 10 minutes to reboot.”

Me: “Guys, I really don’t mind. You don’t have to be sorry. I have been working retail for three years and our register needs to be rebooted at least twice a day. I’m at the mall at one pm on a Tuesday. If I had anything better to do I would be doing it. I’m gonna go poke around in the clearance bin. Holler when the system is up again.”

Cashier: *with a huge smile* “Will do!”

(After poking around in clearance and picking out two additional movies, they call me over.)

Manager: “Just coupon out her two clearance movies. Thank you so much for your patience!”

Cashier: “And for not yelling at us!”

(I work for a well-known store that sells all kinds of electronic devices. When it is time to clock out we have to go to a manager to get signed our paper with our credit card applications goal and how much we opened that day. There is this one male manager who has long brown hair and a brown beard and he is one of the more laid back managers. There is also this supervisor, who is new and doesn’t know anyone’s names yet. I go into the office after I clock out to get him to sign my paper and he takes one look at it and looks at me.)

Supervisor: “I’m so sorry, but I’m not allowed to sign this as I’m not on duty yet. You can go to the manager who looks like Jesus Christ and get him to sign it. He’s on the floor now.”

(I stare at him and after a couple of seconds, he realizes that I don’t know who he is referring to.)

Supervisor: “I’m sorry, I’m not good with names yet. It’s the manager with the long dark hair and beard. But he really does look like Jesus!”

(I realize which manager he is referring to and laugh.)

Me: “Are you talking about [Manager]?”

Supervisor: “Yes, that’s him!”

(I laughed and went on the floor looking for my manager, and after getting it signed I tell my manager that the new supervisor referred to him as a Jesus Christ lookalike. He found it just as amusing as I did. Shortly after that, the nickname ‘Jesus’ stuck with my manager and he even began to refer himself as that.)

(We are just about to close shop. A woman is talking to my manager about an e-reader case.)

Customer: “That’s false advertising. On your website it says this ereader case is $7.50.”

Manager: “That is a similar looking case. They have different SKUs.”

Customer: “But I don’t see it. You should give me that price.”

Manager: “Our website has many items where our store only has a limited amount of stock.”

(The customer goes on how the case should be that price. I notice she is still in the store when I go to close the doors, so I leave one door open and one locked. I come to see my manager to see what the problem is.)

Manager: “We can give you the price of this case for that one you saw on the website.”

Customer: “I have a student card!”

(We give student deals. My manager looks at the student card carefully.)

Manager: “Uh… this card is from 2006.”

Customer: “I am doing my Ph.D. It takes a long time, you know; it’s a Ph.D.”

Manager: “You don’t have an updated student card that is renewed?”

Customer: “I’m doing my PH.D part time!”

Manager: “Still, eight years. That’s a long time ago.”

Customer: “Isn’t there anyone else I can talk to?”

Me: “He is the manager so there is no one else.”

Customer: “What about your head office?”

Me: “They close between 4:00 and 4:30, and it’s 6:00. You can’t contact them at this time.”

(The customer goes off about how her student card is valid, and how I don’t know about the head office because I don’t know the exact time they close, and how we have poor customer service. We give her the discount and she finally pays for the item.)

Manager: “We’ll contact head office for you since they are closed at this time. What is your phone number?”

Customer: “I’m not giving it to you!”

Manager: “How they can contact you?”

Customer: “I’m filing a complaint!”

(On the way out she tries to force the locked door open. She is pushing the locked door to the point where it almost breaks. I can’t help but laugh.)

Customer: “She is laughing at me!”

(I laugh harder while my manager opens the unlocked door for her, making exiting seem easy.)

Me: “She is doing a Ph.D. and she can’t even open a door!”

Manager: “No wonder her degree is taking her eight years.”