A customer buys a laptop and, instead of heading straight out, walks over to the tech bench where I’m working.

Customer: “Can you just make sure it turns on?”

Me: “Sure thing.”

I power it up, show him the startup screen, and hand it back. He grabs the charger from the box, looks at the packaging, and makes a face.

Customer: “I don’t need all this crap.”

He starts to walk out with just the laptop and charger, and I mean literally just the laptop and charger. No box/packaging.

Me: “You don’t want the box or the sleeve? It’s useful for transport.”

Customer: “Nah, it’s just trash that takes up space.”

Me: “Sir, it’s raining pretty hard. You might want a bag or—”

He walks straight out the door, bare laptop in one hand, charger in the other, into the downpour. My coworker and I just stare at each other. The next afternoon, he storms back in, laptop in hand.

Customer: “This thing is broken!”

I look at the machine. It won’t power on.

Me: “What seems to be happening?”

Customer: “It just stopped working. I want a replacement.”

I glance at my coworker, who was here yesterday, too.

Me: “Sir, you left the store yesterday carrying it in the rain without the box or any protection.”

Customer: “So? It’s supposed to work!”

Me: “Electronics and heavy rain don’t mix. That would be considered accidental damage, which isn’t covered.”

Customer: “If you don’t replace this, I’m calling my sister at the BBB!”

Me: “You’re welcome to contact whoever you like, sir, but they’re going to hear the same thing: laptops aren’t waterproof, and we literally watched you take it out into a storm.”

Customer: “Well… well… you should have stopped me if you knew it was gonna brick my laptop!”

Me: “I tried to explain, sir, but you seemed quite sure of what you were doing.”

Customer: “Well then, maybe you should… You should…”

Coworker: “Sir, are you trying to find the words that say we made a mistake for assuming you knew what you were doing, without making you sound like an idiot?”

Customer: “I… I’m reporting this place!” *Storms out.*

I look at my coworker with a sense of awe.

Coworker: “What? I’m like, three months from retiring. F*** this place and f*** those customers.”

Working with him for the next three months is going to be so interesting…

Related:
Laptop Flop, Part 44
Laptop Flop, Part 43
Laptop Flop, Part 42
Laptop Flop, Part 41
Laptop Flop, Part 40

A guy comes in looking for a cell phone. We did not have a phone kiosk in the store, so all we had were around twelve different unlocked, full payment-upfront phones.

Customer: “Which of these phones have SIM cards?”

Me: “None of them, they aren’t tied to any plans. It’s just the phone.”

Customer: “Okay, so none have SIM cards?”

Me: “No.”

Customer: “…So can I get one with a SIM card?”

Me: “You can go somewhere and buy the card separately. But there are none here.”

Customer: “None of these have SIM cards?”

Me: “No.”

Customer: “What about this one?”

Me: “Again… No.”

Customer: “Not even this one?”

Me: “No. None of them. Not that one, or that one, or that one, or that one.”

Pause.

Customer: “What about—”

Me: “Not on that one either.” *Figuring I should just go through all twelve.* “Not that one, or that one, or that one, or that one, or finally… that one.”

Pause.

Customer: “So you’re telling me that none of these have SIM cards?”

Me: “Exhaustively, sir.”

Customer: “I wish you’d told me that when I first came in. You’ve wasted so much of my time!”

I worked in an electronics store to put myself through college. I worked in the computer department but was sitting at the loss prevention desk up front to cover while the loss prevention supervisor took a quick lunch break.

An old lady comes in:

Customer: “Where’s the dairy section? I need help finding the milk!”

Me: *Kindly.* “Ma’am, you’re not in a grocery store. This is an electronics store.”

She looks confused and leaves. A couple of minutes later, her (presumably) son walks in and starts chewing my a**.

Customer’s Son: “What the h*** is wrong with you?! Why wouldn’t you help an old lady find some milk?!”

I slowly waved my arm across the store and asked him:

Me: “Which one of these aisles looks like they might have milk in them?”

He stares for a good few seconds, and then glares back at me:

Customer’s Son: “You’re an a**hole!”

Me: “Yeah, I’m used to hearing that after I’ve won an argument.”

Customer’s Son: “Just because you don’t sell milk doesn’t mean you get to be rude to an old lady! Get your boss out here now!”

I paged the loss prevention supervisor up to the front.

LP Supervisor: “So, you sent your mom, who seems to be easily confused, into an electronics store on her own, because she was looking for milk?”

Customer’s Son: “No, that’s not how it went down!”

LP Supervisor: “Well, that’s how it looks from my perspective. Sir, if your mother is still waiting for you outside, I suggest you go back out and help her with her groceries better than you’ve been doing up until now.”

Customer’s Son: “You’re an a**hole!”

LP Supervisor: “And you’re never allowed back in this store. Have a good day.”

It’s the early 90s, and I’m working in an out-of-town electrical store. We sell everything from batteries to plasma TVs.

One day, a gentleman came in to return a kettle. He was well known in the town because he owned a local fine dining restaurant, so everybody recognised him. He was well known for being a bit obnoxious.

Customer: “I want to return this kettle.”

Me: “Do you have a receipt?”

Customer: “No, it’s faulty. I want a refund.”

At this point, my manager stepped in as he was also behind the counter. At the time, manufacturers would take back faulty items but only if we had a box, because the box would have the batch number and other information that they could use to determine whether there was a wider fault. Without the box, if we took in the kettle, it would be on us, not the manufacturer.

My manager explained this, but the customer was not happy. He didn’t have the box and didn’t care; he just wanted to return the faulty item.

Manager: “Do you have another proof of purchase? Like a cheque book stub or credit card receipt?”

Customer: “No, it was a £12 kettle. Why would I keep that?”

Manager: “I’m sorry, I can’t accept a return without a proof of purchase. We have no idea if you even bought it here.”

This went round a few times with the customer getting more irate each time.

The customer snapped, and he threw the kettle lead (which came with a UK-style moulded plug on it) at my management and stormed out of the store.

This was a mistake. Our manager was almost 7ft tall and built like the proverbial outhouse. He would lift washing machines (which are very heavy, typically about 30-40Kg, or 60-80lbs) and stack them three single-handedly. He also did not suffer fools gladly.

[Manager] followed the customer out of the store, and by the time he reached him, the customer was already in his car. [Manager] reached through the window and grabbed the customer by his shirt.

Manager: “If you ever threaten my staff or throw anything at them ever again, I will make you live to regret. Do you understand?”

What followed was a short discussion where the customer seemed absolutely stunned, either by his actions or the manager’s response. We couldn’t hear the rest of the conversation, which was done much quieter. After a few minutes, the customer blinked and then drove off from the store.

We were all stunned at this, the customer’s original actions, but more so the manager’s response, and we now had way more respect for him than before.

About four hours later, not long before we closed, Mrs. [Customer] came in. I recognised her immediately, and so I knew what was coming.

Mrs. Customer: “I’d like to speak to the manager, please.”

I got [Manager] and explained who it was, so he was prepared.

[Manager] came out. The rest of the staff were hanging around the counter at this point as it was almost the end of the day, and we were starting to do clear up.

Mrs Customer: “My husband tried to return a kettle this morning. He told me you threatened him when he tried to return it and grabbed him by the throat.”

Manager: “He threw a kettle lead at me.”

Mrs Customer: “He would never do that.”

Manager: “I have nine people here who will say he did.”

She paused and then seemed to accept that it might be true. She calmly reached into her bag, took out her cheque book, and showed a stub for £12.99, obviously covering the cost of the kettle.

She was very calm (unlike her husband), but I think she knew in the moment as she looked at us all that her husband probably had lost temper and done something stupid.

She got her refund and left.

Customer: “I want an iPod.”

Me: “We have a range of them over here—”

Customer: “—and I wanna pay for it with this.”

He hands me a coupon that says “Free iPod!” That’s it. Just a sheet of paper that was printed at home with those two words. I try to be polite.

Me: “Sir… this isn’t a coupon that we accept.”

Customer: “It has small print on the back! Look!”

I flip it over and almost laugh.

On the back, it says: “Guaranteed and payable by Bill Gates.”

Me: “Why would Bill Gates guarantee an Apple product? He’s the Microsoft guy.”

A few moments pass.

Customer: “S***.” *Walks out.*