For Christmas, I Would Like A Time Machine

, , , , , | Right | December 21, 2019

(This year, Boxing Day falls on a Wednesday, and our local newspaper is delivered on Thursdays. This takes place on the Saturday before Christmas, and therefore not Boxing Day.)

Customer: “Um, actually, that item is [price]!”

Me: “Oh, did you see it that price on the shelf?”

Customer: “No, it was in the flyer!”

(She shoves it in my face and I take it. It looks like the Boxing Day flyer, but before I say anything about it, I look for the date on the flyer.)

Customer: “What are you doing!? I had it open to the item that’s on sale!”

Me: “I’m just looking for the date to be sure, because this looks like the Boxing Day flyer.” *finds the date* “Yup, here it is; it starts on the 26th.”

Customer: “Are you serious? But the flyer is already out; we got it in the paper on Thursday! You’re telling me you’re not going to honour a price from a flyer that’s already out?”

Me: “Um, yes, because it says right on it that it’s for Boxing Day.”

Customer: “Well, maybe you shouldn’t put the flyer out before the sale starts, then!”

Me: “If we did that, you wouldn’t have gotten it until next Thursday, and by then, the sale would be over.”

Customer: “Oh… Yeah… Right…”

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Unfiltered Story #179790

, , | Unfiltered | December 16, 2019

(I and another customer are browsing a selection of televisions. Incidentally, both of us wear eyeglasses.)

Customer: These TV’s aren’t as good as they advertise. Seriously, with glasses on, you can see the pixels.

(Curious, I glance over my lenses to tell if I can see the difference. I come to a realization.)

Me: Well, to be fair, your eyesight’s better with your glasses on.

(He conceded to that)

Unfiltered Story #179727

, , | Unfiltered | December 10, 2019

(I am the customer in this story. My sister and I are shopping for a laptop in a local electronics store. Note that I have mild social anxiety and while most days I’m fine, this day was a particularly bad one.)

Sales Rep: “What can I help you ladies with today?”

(Unthinkingly and without realising I’m doing it, I side-step the employee so that I can hide behind my sister, not wanting to make conversation.)

Sister: “We’re fine, thanks. [My name], what are you doing?”

Me: *suddenly realising what I’ve done* “Oh, my god! I’m so sorry. That was the worst reaction.”

(The Sales Rep laughed and left us to our shopping!)

No Cash, No Time, No Reason

, , , , | Right | December 4, 2019

(I work at a big-box electronics store and we’re not allowed to tell people that we’re closing or ask them to leave once we have already closed. This takes place twenty-five minutes after we’ve closed for the day. This woman has been here for almost an hour trying to return something without a receipt and exchanging it for something else.)

Manager: “Hey, [My Name], can you do this return and web order?”

(I have a bad feeling that it might take a while and I am off in five minutes, but I’ve been told off for talking back to managers before, so I have no choice.)

Me: “Okay.”

(I try to get the woman’s phone number to do the return, but she turns to my manager and starts whining about not getting a free gift along with the new thing she is buying. After five minutes of my manager saying that there is no gift but that he will take $15 off the already on-sale item, she finally lets me do the return. It’s now over half an hour after we’ve closed and there are no more cash tills in the store open.)

Me: “Okay, your total is $73.85.”

(The woman tries to give me cash.)

Me: “I’m sorry, but we can’t take cash anymore since we’ve been closed for too long.”

Customer: “I don’t know if I have enough in my bank account for it. Are you sure you can’t take the cash?”

Me: “No, ma’am. All of our tills have been put away. It would take another fifteen minutes to open them up again to take the cash.”

Customer: “Could you just give me a straight exchange, then? Just take more money off so that they’re the same price?” 

Me: *thinking to myself: “No f****** way!”* “I can’t say yes to that; I’ll have to grab my manager.”

(I head over to my manager and tell him what’s going on. He comes over.)

Manager: “I’ve already given you a discount on top of the sale. I can’t do anymore.”

Customer: “Aw, come on, [Manager].”

(She starts giving him puppy dog eyes and flipping her hair, trying to get him to say yes. Thankfully, this manager is better than that.)

Manager: “No, I can’t take anymore off. [My Name], you go clock out, since you were off fifteen minutes ago.”

(I did exactly that and the woman left pretty quickly since she wasn’t getting what she wanted.)

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Unfiltered Story #162448

, , , | Unfiltered | December 2, 2019

(I am selling a customer a podcast microphone, and I suggest it needs a pop shield.)

Customer: “What’s that for?”

Me: “It blocks out plosive sounds.”

Customer: “There won’t be any explosions, it’s an interview.”

Me: “No, ‘PIH’s and ‘BIH’s. PLOSIVE, is the word.”

Customer: “I think you mean ‘expletive.’”

(At this point I’d begun to wonder if I’d made up the word, plus it was a minute to closing, so I let it hang as we both looked bemused. Of course, now this guy’s off to do his interview, thinking I just tried to sell him some gizmo that stops him recording swear words and explosions. Also, I can’t pronounce ‘expletive’. DUHR…)