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Leave This Stuff To The Experts

, , | Right | CREDIT: MadIllLeet | July 18, 2021

I have never met a web developer who has a clue as to what DNS (Domain Name System) is and what it does. Every time a client hires a web developer to build them a new website, the developer always changes the nameservers on the domain to point to their host. Guess what happens? Yup, email breaks. Guess who gets blamed? Not the web developer!

To combat this, I have a strict policy to not give a web developer control of a client’s domain. Occasionally, I get pushback, but then I explain why they are not allowed to have control. It usually goes something like this.

Web Developer: “Can you send me the credentials for [Client]’s domain registrar?”

Me: “I cannot do that. I can take care of what you need, though.”

Web Developer: “Sure, I just need you to update the name servers. It would be easier if I had control, though, so I don’t have to bother you.”

Me: “It’s not a bother. I can’t change the name servers, though, as it will break the client’s email. I can update the A record for you.”

Web Developer: “I don’t know what that is.”

Me: “And that is why I’m not giving you control of the client’s domain.”

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Copy + Paste Saves Lives And Fingers

, , , | Working | CREDIT: AlanAppRed | July 15, 2021

I work at a small private institute for teaching English in a country where English is not our native language. The secretary there is quite sweet with everyone, and she is the one who suffers the most the pressure from our boss. I can’t tell who of the two has less knowledge about technology.

I get to work as usual, and I see the secretary typing as fast as she can. I ask her what she is doing because, obviously, she has a lot of other tasks to do — receive phone calls, talk with parents, fill in forms, etc. — and I can tell she was making her biggest effort.

Secretary: “[Boss] asked me to copy this whole text — more than ten pages! — from a PDF file to a doc for her daughter’s schoolwork.”

Me: “But why don’t you do this?

I approach her desk, and I copy the text from the PDF and paste it onto the doc file. She looks at me as all the words from the PDF file appear immediately and magically in the doc file.

I think she is still thanking me to this day.

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Cables, Connections, Coworkers, And Coats

, , , , | Right | CREDIT: JoeDonFan | July 12, 2021

This was back in the 1980s when offices weren’t designed with network cabling in mind and you could still smoke in the office.

I had a user in the office portion of our warehouse whose network connection started cutting out between 9:00 and 9:10 am, every morning, starting in November. Sometimes it would come back; sometimes it wouldn’t. It was really weird. I swapped the NIC with a known good one (mine); my unit stayed connected while the user’s continued to cut out. I swapped out the CPU; I rebuilt her hard drive and loaded and reloaded drivers downloaded at a million dollars a minute… and no go.

One morning, I was at her desk, waiting for the network connection to die, when I watched a coworker walk in (he started later than everyone else, at nine) and hang his coat on the coat rack next to the door. A few moments later, the connection dropped.

I looked at the coat rack and then at the floor, and I noticed a network cable under one of the legs of the coat rack. I managed to lift the rack just enough to slide the cable out from under the rack, and the connection came back up. It seems the sixth coat on the rack was just enough to pull the cable out of the nearby rack and drop her connection.

Just to be safe, I replaced her cable and anchored it to the baseboard with antenna clips. We never had a problem again.

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Those Fridges Know What You’re Up To

, , | Right | July 6, 2021

I’m working the helpline for a huge Internet company. Usually, when customers come to me, they are transferred from a coworker of a lower level and need some special technical help, like deleting cache, cookies, or other stuff, and are stuck in some security alert so they can’t log in to their account.

This conversation comes up to me at least two times a day, sometimes more often.

Me: “Okay, I have your account up now and changed something. Would you mind telling me which device you are using right now?”

Customer: *Irritated* “Um, my home phone… I have no smartphone!”

Me: “Let me be a bit more precise: which device are you using to log in?”

Customer: *Slightly angry* “Oh… a PC. What else should I use? I have no smartphone!”

Me: *Dry as a good wine* “There still is the possibility that you could use a tablet. And don’t forget about smart fridges.”

Customer: *Laughing* “Oh, I’m sorry, I didn’t think of that.”

Most of the time, they add something like, “You know I’m old.” Then, the real struggle begins, but that’s another story.

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The Power To Point Out Stupidity

, , , , , | Right | July 2, 2021

I work as a level-two help desk tech at a major university under contract with a government agency to provide computer support. We aren’t bound by any agreement that we can’t point out someone’s stupidity to them when deserved.

This was in the day when everyone was getting laptops but not everyone knew how they worked (so it really could have been yesterday).

Me: “[Agency Help Desk], this is [My Name].”

Client: “I can’t get my laptop to turn off.”

Me: “Okay, did you try holding the power button for five seconds?”

Client: “Yes, but it wouldn’t turn off.”

Me: “Try unplugging it from the power outlet.”

Client: “I did, but it still won’t turn off.”

Me: “So, let’s remove the battery and see what happens.”

Client: “It’s still powered on.”

Me: “So, send it to me, and I will split the money with you.”

Client: “Money? What are you talking about?”

Me: “Well, we’ve found the only laptop in the world that doesn’t require any source of power, and we are going to be rich.”

Client: “Umm, I’ll call back later.”

Me: “Okay, but I was hoping to buy a yacht.”

Client: *Click!*

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