The Only Floor That Should Be Discussed Is The Sales Floor

, , , , , , | Right | January 19, 2018

(I work in the animal department of a big pet store chain. My job is to take care of all the animals in the store, answer customers’ questions, and sell the animals. I tend to lurk around the rodent department because it’s what I know best, and I help customers when I see them browsing. This day there is a young couple eyeing the hamsters, and I speak with the woman.)

Me: “They’re cute, right? Were you looking at getting a hamster today?”

Customer: “Yeah, they are cute. We’ve never had a pet before, and we both work full time, so we thought it was time for one.”

Me: *already getting the gut feeling* “Okay, well, let me walk you through a bit about hamsters.”

(I explain their nesting habits, their personalities, everything. I show the cages, the food, and everything they could need, give a rough price estimate, explain how often they need to clean the cage, tell them to find an exotic/small animal vet, etc.)

Customer: “Hmm. Well, don’t the cages stink?”

Me: “Not if you take care to clean them often enough.”

Customer: “Can’t we just let it run around on the floor?”

(Needless to say, I pointed at the aisle with the animal books and told them they should probably do a bit more research before they bring an animal home. I’ve since quit working there.)

Married To The Wrong Assumption

, , , , , | Friendly | January 19, 2018

(My brother is a high-ranking officer and is a very racially-mixed white man. His wife is a dark-skinned Filipino woman. When they go fancy military parties, other white military wives think my sister-in-law is a waitress, even when she’s wearing a fancy dress. The following interaction happens a lot.)

Woman: *goes up to my sister-in-law* “Excuse me, but what you’re doing is very inappropriate.”

Sister-In-Law: *confused* “What is?”

Woman: “You shouldn’t be flirting with the officers here. It’s unprofessional, and you shouldn’t risk a man’s career by getting pregnant.”

Sister-In-Law: “I am American, and he’s my husband.”

Woman: “I’m going to talk with your manager.”

(Later on the woman and her husband came up to my brother, introducing themselves. The woman stayed quiet after my brother introduced my sister-in-law as his wife.)

The Last Jedi Meets The Last Straw

, , , , , , , | Working | January 19, 2018

Over the winter break I went to see the new Star Wars movie with my brother and his fiancée. I was staying with our parents for the break, and my brother and his fiancée live thirty minutes from there so we decided to meet at a theater halfway between those locations. Neither of us had been to it before.

Ten minutes before the movie was to end, three people walked in and sat in a row in front of us. They all took out their cell phones and started checking texts and Facebook, and chatting with each other. It was incredibly distracting. I finally decided to stand up and get a manager to deal with them. On my way back into the theater I leaned over their seats and told them a manager was on the way. They all leapt up like they were on fire. When they turned to face me, I realized they were all in their late teens or early twenties and were wearing uniforms. They worked for the theater.

It turns out they were the cleaning crew. When we exited the theater, they were all standing by the door, looking down at their feet.

I’m Not Volunteering Any Felony Information

, , , , | Right | January 19, 2018

(My friend and I are students at a Catholic high school that requires you to do at least 20 hours of community service in order to be able to pass or graduate. We’re both female, but I’m a junior while she’s a sophomore. We are currently volunteering at a donation-run thrift store.)

Customer: “Excuse me, dear. I was looking at these paintings, and this one doesn’t have a price tag. Could you tell me how much this one is supposed to cost?”

Friend: “I’m sorry, but I’m only a volunteer, so I don’t really know. However, I can go and bring an employee who will know, if you’d like.”

Customer: “It’s all right; I don’t really need this, anyway. So, you’re doing community service? How many hours do you have left to do?

Friend: “Well, all of my hours are done after my shift, and my shift ends at six. So, about three hours left to go.”

Customer: “That’s good. So, what did you do in order to have to do community service?”

Friend: “Huh? This is the community service project that all of the students at my high school have to do. I didn’t do anything wrong.”

Customer: *laughs* “Oh, honey, there’s no need to lie to me! I know that all of you teenagers who do community service do it because the courts force you to. Let me guess. You were recklessly driving?”

Friend: “Ma’am, I told you this is a community service project for my high school. I have not committed any crimes. I just want to pass my sophomore year.”

Customer: *sighs* “I don’t know why you are bothering to lie to me. Behavior like that will only make you into more of a convict than you already are. Such a shame.”

Friend: “…”

Customer: “Well, I’m going to check out now. Try to keep yourself out of more trouble, dear.”

(The customer goes to check out. Meanwhile, my friend walks up to me after I’m finished helping my customer.)

Friend: “I’m pretty sure a customer just called me a convict.”

Their Cold Heart Is In Need Of Some Heating

, , , , , , , | Working | January 19, 2018

(I work in an office with two coworkers. [Coworker #1] is a nightmare to work with. She constantly needs nudging, telling, reminding, you name it, about her tasks. One afternoon on a freezing day, the phone rings.)

Me: “Thank you for calling [Business]. How can I help you?”

Elderly Woman: “Oh. Is that not [Nationwide Gas Supplier]?”

Me: “No, I’m sorry; it’s [Business]. What number did you dial?”

Elderly Woman: “Oh. I’ve been trying to find their number for a while, and it’s so cold here. I put it down somewhere. Hang on… It was [number].”

Me: “I’m very sorry, but our number’s [number with one digit different]. It’s very similar.”

Elderly Woman: *sounds like she’s about to cry* “I see. Okay. I’ll try again. Thank you so much.”

Me: “No problem; goodbye.”

(Twenty seconds later, the phone rings.)

Me: “Thank you for calling [Business]. How can I help?”

Elderly Woman: “Hello, dear, I can’t get my boiler working. Would you send someone, please?”

Me: “Hello again, madam. This is [My Name] at [Business]. We spoke a minute ago? Did you misdial again?”

Elderly Woman: “Well, I thought I did it right.” *starts dialing the number with me still on the line* “There’s zero…” *presses zero for about five seconds* “And eight…” *presses eight for a few seconds* “And—”

Me: “Madam? I’m sorry, I’m still on the line so it won’t work; plus, when you do redial, you only need to tap the numbers, not hold them down for so long.”

Elderly Woman: “Ah, I see. Okay. I just tap the numbers and it’ll work.”

Me: “Yes, it should do. Good luck!”

(We say our goodbyes, hang up, and then twenty seconds later, the phone rings.)

Me: “Thank you for calling [Business]. How can I help?”

Elderly Woman: “Oh, hello again, dear. I seem to be struggling here, don’t I? I’m so sorry to trouble you again. I’ll just go and—”

Me: “Hello again. No, don’t worry; it’s fine. Did you say your boiler was broken before?”

Elderly Woman: “Yes. It broke last night, and I can’t seem to find anyone to come and have a look at it for me. It’s cold today, isn’t it? Boilers always seem to go when you need them the most, don’t they?”

Me: “They certainly do, yes. Look, give me the number you were going to call, and I’ll call them for you. And if you give me your name, address, and number, I’ll get them to send someone round to you. How does that sound?”

Elderly Woman: “Would you? You will? Oh, my word. That sounds fine; thank you so much!” *then she hangs up*

(Luckily, I have the 1471 service on my phone line, so I get her number, call her back, explain who I am, that I need her details to pass to the boiler people, and so forth. I then call the boiler people, explain the situation, tell them there’s a confused and vulnerable elderly lady there without a working heating system, and that she can’t even manage to use her phone. The call centre chap is fine with it and tells me he’ll sort it out. I give it 15 minutes, then call the old lady back. She’s been contacted by the boiler chap, and a visit is scheduled for later in the day. All done; old lady is happy, and we end the call. I put the phone down.)

Me: *to both coworkers* “Phew. I’m glad to be getting back to typing, after all that.”

Coworker #1: *in a snappy tone* “I don’t know why you did that! It’s not your job to do that! You wasted your time doing all that!”

Me: *looks at her for a second* “Right. First of all: are you telling me you’d leave a vulnerable person with no heating when there’s something you could do about it? And secondly, since when did you, you, of all people, get to tell me what is and isn’t my job, when you don’t even know what your own is? I’ll tell you what; when you start pulling your weight, we’ll discuss what my job entails.”

(I stomped off for some fresh air; I was so annoyed.)

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