No Soda = No Mercy

, , , | Right | February 13, 2019

(It is somewhat late on a Saturday and I’m running the drive-thru when, without warning, the soda machine decides that it has had enough and quits dispensing carbonated drinks. None of us are able to reset the machine, or see any faults in the CO2, water, or syrup lines. Furthermore, it is in the middle of a late-night rush with only three people, me included, so none of us can go outside to post a sign, which would likely be ignored anyway. Ding!)

Me: “Welcome to [Restaurant], but before you place your order, I regret to inform you that our soda machine just went on the fritz. Howe—“

Customer: “Well, how soon will it be back up?!”

Me: “I am not sure, but we still have teas, non-carbonated drinks, and [slush drinks].”

Customer: “I don’t want any of them, and where’s your sign?! I wouldn’t have come here if I knew your soda machine was down!”

Me: “Again, I apolo—“

Customer: “WHERE IS YOUR SIGN?!”

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, but we’ve been unable to po—“

Customer: “Well, then, you can either fix the machine or instruct the other customers in line to move!”

Me: “We are sorry, but we cannot find any fa—“

Customer: “Then tell your other customers to move!”

(I’m about to say something when my manager, who is also wearing a headset, cuts in.)

Manager: “We cannot instruct others to move their cars, sir.”

(I begin to tune out their back and forth while dealing with the cars at the window, tendering them out, passing food, etc., when I hear him finally pulling away. I forget about it for awhile until he makes it up to the windows and starts again.)

Customer: “Listen here! I want you to compensate me for my time that I wasted in line because you can’t fix your f****** machine! Furthermore, I will be calling your head offices about this!”

(I wait until he stops before speaking.)

Me: “First of all, even if we had a sign out there, you would still have had to wait. Furthermore, we are compensating understanding customers by providing a free upgrade to our [slush drink]. In addition, we have done what we could to check for issues, but we have to call our vendor tomorrow morning to figure out the issue. Lastly, please pull ahead, as we have other cars who were more patient and understanding about the situation than you are.”

(I then close the window and do my best to prep the next [slush drink], teas, food bags, etc., to aid my coworkers as best as I can without touching the food itself. As I’m doing this, he is laying on the horn like crazy. My manager finally has enough and opens the window.)

Manager: “Sir, we have done everything we can and you are holding up the line. Please leave!”

Customer: “Well, fine, then! F*** you, too, b****!”

(As he leaves and everything returns to normal, or as normal as can be with the broken-a** soda machine. Eventually, we make it through the rush and my manager starts to laugh.)

Me: “What’s so funny?”

Manager: “Oh, just thinking of how I’d handle that if I were you. You have some of the best patience I know working drive-thru.”

Me: “Well, s*** happens and people b****. I just let them be a baby and let you change their diapers if needed.”

Manager: *laughing* “Well put.”

Their Mistake Covers Multiple Locations

, , , , , | Right | February 13, 2019

(I am at work when a coworker with a customer right behind her comes up to me.)

Coworker: “[My Name], this customer said that you put [item we don’t have] away for her yesterday. Where is it?”

Me: “No, it wasn’t me; I wasn’t here yesterday.”


Me: “It wasn’t me. I wasn’t here and we sold out on that product last week.”


Me: “No, honestly, I wasn’t here yesterday and I’ve never seen you before.”


Me: “You rang up? Oh, I think I know what happened. I’ll just check for you.” *picks up the phone and makes a call* “Hello. May I speak to [My Name], please?”  

(After I finish speaking with a coworker from a different location I turn to the customer.)

Me: “It appears that you called [Other Location] store and spoke to [My Name] there; she has your item over there.”

Customer: “I didn’t call [Other Location]! I called here! I got the number from the catalogue; I’ll show you.” *grabs catalogue and points to the number*

Me: “Sorry, but that’s [Other Location], we are [Our Location], the next store down. I can get the item sent here but it will take a few days.”

Customer: “A few days? I have to have it today. How in the h*** am I going to get it now?”

Me: “The only way is to go there yourself. It’s about half an hour away.”

Customer: “What? I have to go there myself just because I got the wrong store?” *storms out*

When This Jobsworth Isn’t Doing His

, , , , , | Working | February 13, 2019

(I’ve been in my field for over ten years, so I have a wide skill set and knowledge base. Every few months, a staffing/contract agency tries to recruit me. Usually, a polite “no, thanks” turns them away, but once a while, I get this guy:)

Agent: “Hello! I have this great opportunity that you’d be perfect for. When would you like to schedule an interview?”

(I read the job description. It’s pretty obvious he just did a keyword search and didn’t read my actual resume.)

Me: “Um, this job is located in Ohio.”

Agent: “Will that be a problem?”

Me: “I live in North Carolina.”

Agent: “Oh, the company does require you to be on-site, so you’ll have to relocate.”

Me: “No, thanks. I have a permanent position I’m happy with.”

Agent: “But this is a fantastic opportunity! Will relocating really be that difficult?”

Me: “Only if I’m seven months pregnant.”

Agent: “Have a nice day.”

The Gift Card That Keeps On Taking

, , , , , , | Working | February 13, 2019

(I purchase two items at a department store, but the next day I decide I should really be saving money and decide to return them. On the day of my purchase:)

Me: “Just these two, please.”

Employee #1: “Because you’re spending $200, you get a $50 gift card to use at a later date!”

Me: “Okay, great. Thanks.”

(The next day, when I decide to go back and return my items:)

Me: “Hello, I’d like to return these two items I purchased yesterday.”

Employee #2: “Absolutely, let me help you with that. Okay, so, it looks like you’ll be getting $150 back.

Me: “Wait, what? I spent $200!”

Employee #2: “Oh, well, it says they gave you a $50 gift card for the future, so you get to keep that, and then the return is the remaining $150.”

Me: “What? No. I don’t want the gift card. Here, it is in the bag with the item. Take the gift card back and give me my $200 back!”

Employee #2: “We can’t refund the gift card.”

Me: “WHAT?!”

Employee #2: “Don’t worry! You still have the $50 to use in the future at any stores or online.”

Me: “I don’t want the $50 gift card. I want my money back!”

Employee #2: “Well, we don’t do that, so it is not an option.”

(We went in a circle for almost fifteen minutes until I stormed out and called corporate. They seemed perplexed by the employee’s behavior and told me they were going to refund me and to just go ahead and keep the items. All’s well that ends well, I guess.)

The Gift Card That Keeps On Racially Profiling

, , , , | Right | February 13, 2019

When I was working as a cashier — especially around the holiday season when gift card purchases went through the roof — our boss told us it was mandatory to check ID for any gift card purchase made over $50 if they paid by card. All of the local stores and restaurants in the area were made aware of a series of scams where people were stealing credit cards and running around town to spend the money on gift cards before the victims could cancel their cards.

I had a customer come to the register and ask for a single $50 gift card. This was strange anyway — we were a sandwich shop, so usually large gift card purchase totals were done as several cards of a smaller amount — and when she said $50, I was looking directly at the register screen punching in the security codes necessary to process a gift card while I asked her for an ID.

The woman went crazy at me for racially profiling her and started ranting at the guy standing behind her as she fished cash out of her purse and threw it on the counter it at me, then went into her purse again for her wallet. I told her that the ID was only necessary for credit card purchases, not cash. I said that she hadn’t had cash in hand when she made her request, and I had assumed that a large purchase would have been made by credit card, so the ID was no longer necessary, but she still thrust her ID within five inches of my face all the while continuing to rant at the man standing behind her in line. He just stared blankly at her the whole while with his arms folded.

The bills she handed me were two twenties and a ten. By management and corporate rules, I was required to check any bill over $10 with the bill marker. The woman started screaming again when I marked the bills and threatened to call the police on me.

Finally, the man who was standing behind her spoke up. He was a regular of mine who managed the game store across the plaza, and he told her flat-out that I was doing my job exactly as my management required and that if she had come into his store to make a similar purchase he would have required his employees to take the exact same precautions that I did.

She demanded our names and stormed out with her gift cards, presumably to make calls to both companies complaining that we were racists. My regular assured me that he was going to talk to my boss the next morning and warn him about the lunatic woman and her behavior to save my skin. My boss never approached me about the woman, so I’m assuming my friend’s call on the matter prompted him to watch the security footage and agree to brush off the crazy woman’s complaint because I was in the right.

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