Take It Or Leave It

, , , , , | Friendly | August 15, 2018

(I go to a salon appointment in a very popular shopping center. By the time I leave, the parking lot is absolutely packed and it’s raining hard. I get into my car; luckily I parked very close by as it wasn’t packed at all when I arrived. I start up my GPS, but it’s a very old model that takes minutes to start up, sometimes longer. I hear some honking but I ignore it. Suddenly there is a rapping on my window and a woman is standing there. I lower my window.)

Me: “Hello, can I help—”

Woman: “Aren’t you leaving?”

Me: “Excuse me?”

Woman: “I saw you get into your car; we’ve been sitting here waiting for you to leave.”

Me: “Yes, I’m about to leave; I’m just—”

Woman: “Well, leave already!”

(She stormed off and got back into her car, and the honking started again. My GPS came on moments later, but suddenly I wasn’t in so much of a rush to get home. I waited until she drove away.)


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Coming At You From Both Sides

, , , , , | Right | August 15, 2018

Customer: “I would like a bagel toasted, please.”

Me: “Yes, ma’am. What would you like on that?”

Customer: “Oh, well, it’s very complicated, so just toast it and I’ll tell you. You people always mess it up.”

(A line is forming behind the lady, and I usually am required to take more than one order at once while orders are cooking. In order to make it easier on both of us, I grab a pen and paper.)

Me: “Well, ma’am, I’ll go ahead and write it down, and you can go sit down if you’d like.”

Customer: “Fine, okay. I want mustard. Both sides. Muenster cheese. Both sides. And tomato! On both sides! I want the cheese melted over the tomatoes.”

(This is quite a simple order.)

Me: “All right, ma’am. I’ll have it right to you, then.”

(I prepare her sandwich and wrap it up, handing it off to her.)

Customer: “Uck.”

Me: “I’m sorry? Is there something I can help with?”

Customer: “You closed it.”

Me: “Sorry?”

Customer: “You closed it. You… Never mind! Forget it!”

(The lady walks away, before coming back five minutes later. She complains her bagel was wrong, and I am very surprised. As she’s ordering from a coworker, I hear her describe her sandwich order exactly the same way to her as she did to me.)

Me: “Pardon, ma’am, that’s how I made your sandwich. Did I do something wrong?”

Customer: “Yes, well, I asked for it on both sides!”

(I come to find out, after a lot of questioning, that “BOTH sides” meant an open-faced sandwich, served on a plate. Not once had she ever asked for it in any way for that to make sense.)

Customer: “Well! None of your employees seem to understand how to listen!

Manager: *to me* “What happened?”

Me: *explains*

Manager: “Oh, my God. People!”

(She has since become a regular and complains every time about something. Why she comes back, I don’t know.)

They Want It All, And In Español

, , , , | Right | August 15, 2018

(During a very busy hour of my shift, I get one customer who comes through my line. She comes in quite regularly to the point that I recognize her, but I don’t I know much about her. As I ring her up she starts speaking Spanish. I’m unsure if she’s even speaking to me, since she is with her daughter, so I don’t answer. I notice she keeps repeating the same phrase, so I reply:)

Me: “No hablo español.”

Customer: *mutters under her breath* “Well, you should learn.”

(Working in a community that is mostly Mexican, this isn’t an uncommon comment. I continue on, and she gives me a coupon that my store offers. As she is about to pay she looks up and says:)

Customer: “I want the $3 off on just the food.”

(She’s paying with food stamps.)

Me: “I’m sorry, but I can’t do that, ma’am; the coupon takes off the amount overall. I would have no way of focusing the coupon on certain items.”

Customer: *looks at me for a minute* “Okay, then separate the transactions!”

(I take out all her non-food items, which leaves her with less than the required amount that the coupon dictates – it’s $3 off a $30 minimum purchase.)

Customer: *starts to shout* “This is ridiculous! Where is your supervisor?”

(I point to myself, since I just happen to be the front-end manager. She gets even more angry.)

Customer: “I would like your corporate number; I shouldn’t be treated this way! I’ve been coming here since the beginning!”

(I’ve been working for the store since it opened, so I knew THAT was a lie. I gave her my name and the number, and let my coworker handle the rest since he actually spoke Spanish. I hope she actually wastes her time trying to get me fired, because I put in my two weeks notice a few days ago.)


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The Dog Is Trained Better Than The Employee

, , , , , , | Working | August 15, 2018

(My dog has a vet appointment for vaccinations and some annual blood work. As a reward — or an apology — we go through a fast food drive-thru for some ice cream. She is an 80-pound mutt and, given her size, she is well-trained in social interactions.)

Drive-Thru: *automated recording* “Welcome to [Fast Food Place]. Did you know we serve breakfast all day? What can I get for you?”

Me: “Hi! Could I have a double bacon cheeseburger, plain, and a plain ice cream for my dog?”

Drive-Thru: *not automated* “Hold on! I’m not ready.”

Me: “Oh, sorry.”

Drive-Thru: “Okay, what did you want?”

Me: *repeats order*

Drive-Thru: “Okay, first window. Thank you.”

(I drive to the first window.)

Window: “Hi, you got the— Puppy! Oh, she’s so cute! Can I pet her?”

Me: “Uh, she’s actually not allowed to come to the driver’s side. Driving hazard.”

Window: “I just want to scratch her head!” *reaching in my car, in front of my face*

Me: “Sorry. She’s not going to come over.”

Window: *huffs* “Well, that’s not very nice. Your total is [total].”

Me: “Okay. Here’s my card.”

Window: “She’s so cute, though. Can’t you make an exception?”

Me: “No. I don’t want her coming over here because it’s dangerous if I’m driving.”

Window: “But you’re not driving.”

Me: “No? Is this not the drive-thru?

Window: “Fine!”

(The woman reached out to hand back my card and “accidentally” dropped it between my car and the building; I had to move forward and walk back to get it. When I looked at my receipt, there was a “survey” I could take at the bottom. You can guess how that review went!)


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A Huffle-Huff Talking To A Slyther-In

, , | Right | August 15, 2018

(I work at a take-away restaurant. It’s already afternoon, ten minutes until closing time. The whole day has been really busy, and my coworker and I are trying to keep up with the work as best as we can. I am currently at the other side of the store, cleaning, when I see that a couple has entered and is waiting at the counter. Immediately I put my broom aside and rush over to them, quickly washing my hands on the way.)

Me: *trying to catch my breath* “Hello!” *inhale* “Good evening!” *inhale* “Excuse me.” *clearing my throat and putting on a welcoming smile* “What can I get for you?”

(The couple gives me a strange looks. Then, the man comes closer to the counter, dramatically imitating my panting, while looking at me as if I am some kind of degenerated monkey.)

Customer: *HUFF HUFF HUFF* “Are you finished yet, or do we have to wait some more time until we can place our order?”

(They then bought two small sandwiches and proceeded to stay way past closing time, leaving a huge mess behind.)

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