I’m a bus driver. I’ve only ever had one crazy incident in all my career. Some guy is playing his music really loud.
Me: “Turn that off or put in headphones, please.”
Passenger: “This is public transportation, and I’m a member of the public.”
Me: “What does that have to do with you playing loud music?”
Passenger: “I paid for my bus ticket, so I’m allowed to be here, and I can play anything I want.”
At this point, one of my regular passengers, a huge tank of a man, gets up from his seat and sits down right next to the passenger playing loud music.
Passenger: “What the hell, dude, there’s plenty of seats.”
Tank man opens his mouth, and I realize this is the first time I’ve heard him speak, as he has a strong Russian or Eastern European accent.
Tank Man: “I pay for my bus ticket, so I’m allowed to be here.”
Tank Man suddenly breaks into bellowing a loud opera-type song in his native language, directed right at the passenger.
Passenger: “F*** off!”
Tank Man: *Still in his singing voice.* “You f*** off. Public transportation and I public.”
The passenger has had enough and stands up and pushes past Tank Man. He takes another seat, but Tank Man follows him. He takes a third seat, next to another passenger, in the hopes that Tank Man can’t sit next to him. Tank Man sits behind him instead and continues his operatic performance.
Passenger: *Turns off his music.* “Fine! F*** it!”
Tank Man: *Stops singing.* “Oh. I lost my background music. I must stop singing.”
The passenger gets off a couple of stops later. A couple of stops after that Tank Man gets off at his regular stop.
Me: “Thanks, man. That was awesome. My powers as a driver are pretty limited to dealing with unruly passengers, so that was great.”
Tank Man: “Meh. I work three years as Walmart cashier. This nothing.”
Related:
Meet Dieter, Friend Of Boris
When It Comes To Shoplifters Boris Finds Middle Ground Between The News Way And The Old Ways
Poorly Boris Delighted To Find Doctor Who Speaks His Language
Family Of Boris Goes Tech
When Boris Runs Trivia Night
This story is part of our Editors’-Favorite-Stories-Of-2025 roundup!
Read the next story!
Read the roundup!