Kids Only Floss Once A Fortnite

, , , , , , | | Related | May 19, 2019

(I’m serving a woman and her roughly eight-year-old son.)

Customer: “That’s what I forgot to grab. I was going to buy you some dental floss. I need to teach you how to floss.”

(Suddenly, the kid looks really excited, like he’s about to jump out of his skin.)

Customer: “Not Fortnite floss. Floss your teeth.”

(The son frowned and slumped off to go sit down, looking quite upset. The customer just looked at me and rolled her eyes.)

Made That Moment Beautiful

, , , , , | | Working | May 18, 2019

(I am shopping with my boyfriend. I’m 20 and he is 21. I am helping him pick out jeans when a girl who looks about 15 years of age comes up to us; she is wearing red hipster sunglasses and a red One Direction T-shirt.)

Girl: “Hello, mind if I tell you guys something?”

Me: *curious* “Go ahead!”

(Suddenly, “What Makes You Beautiful” starts playing from somewhere. This girl sings us the whole song with dance moves and everything.)

Girl: *after the song is finished* “I really meant what I said; you are very pretty and your friend is quite handsome. Stay you and don’t change.” *walks away smiling*

Boyfriend: “That was interesting, but it made my day.”

 Me: “Yeah, that was very sweet.”

(A couple of minutes later, we see her singing to an old couple. The manager walks up.)

Manager: “Excuse me miss, please turn off your music and exit the store. You are disrupting the customers.”

Girl: “Oh, did you receive a complaint?”

Manager: “No, but I think you are being annoying and pestering our customers. This is obviously a YouTube stunt, and I don’t appreciate it.”

Girl: “The only thing hidden here is my amp; I have no cameras. I just believe the world should smile a little more often and cry a little less, so I make people smile by singing to them, which will hopefully prevent them from crying for a bit.”

Manager: *shocked* “Well, I’m sure these customers did not enjoy it.” *gestures to older couple*

Older Woman: “I loved it; she made my day!”

Boyfriend: “She made mine, as well!”

 (She left with the older couple, leaving the manager standing there shocked.)

Your Professionalism Is Melting… MELTING!

, , , , , | Working | April 18, 2019

(One of my coworkers, who has a very intense personality, is leaving, but only the manager and I know.)

Manager: “Does [New Coworker] know?”

Me: “I don’t think so. But I’ve been singing Ding Dong the Witch is Dead all morning.”

This Sweet Child O’ Mine Knows His Stuff

, , , , , , | Friendly | April 17, 2019

(Some coworkers and I decide to eat out during our lunch break. One of them is showing off some vacation photos on his phone.)

Coworker: “This photo we took at Dunluce Castle. This is the same place Led Zeppelin took a picture for one of their albums.”

(One of my older coworkers turns to another one, who is in his mid-20s. )

Older Coworker: “You see, Led Zeppelin was this rock band that started up in the 60s. We’re not talking about blimps made out of lead.”

Younger Coworker: “Really? Next thing, you’re going to tell me that Pink Floyd isn’t actually a person.”

Older Coworker: *pause* “Ooh, I didn’t expect that pull.”

(The older coworker didn’t try to tease the younger coworker over generational things anymore. In fact, they frequently get together during breaks to talk about music now!)

Someone Said The Same Thing To Willie Nelson About Ed Bruce

, , , , | Friendly | March 26, 2019

Me: *singing under my breath* “Mamas, don’t let your babies grow up to be cowboys…”

Roommate: “Huh? Why not?”

Me: “Um, because they never stay home and they’re always alone, even with someone they love.”

Roommate: “That’s deep. You should write that down.”

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