Captain Jack Says Stick To Rum, Instead

, , , , | Related | March 2, 2018

(My mother is listening to Billy Joel’s song “Captain Jack.” The lyrics seem to suggest that “Captain Jack” is some sort of drug. Since my mother’s been listening to Billy Joel forever, I figure she’d know about the song’s meaning:)

Me: “What is Captain Jack?”

Mother: “I don’t know; I was going to ask you.”

Me: “Is that what they mean when they say, ‘Talk to your kids about drugs’?”

Doesn’t Get Their Monkey Business

, , , | Right | February 12, 2018

(There is a black and white sample photo of four teenage boys hanging in the lobby of our studio. It’s supposed to look like a recreation of a photo from a Beatles shoot, and a lot of customers really like it and make comments about it. A mother and her six-year-old little boy are in the studio, and the mother is asking about pricing and what we can do for their photo session when they do decide to come in to get pictures done. Meanwhile, the little boy is staring at the “Beatles” photo, before he turns to me and speaks up.)

Little Boy: “Are those the monkeys?”

(At first it doesn’t occur to me what the little boy is talking about. I think he means actual monkeys. Apparently, his mother thinks the same, too.)

Mother: “Those boys don’t look anything like monkeys.”

Little Boy: *starts singing* “‘Hey, hey, we’re The Monkees!'”

(I am trying very hard not to fall over laughing, and his mother looks even more confused, because she has no idea what he is talking about.)

Mother: “What are you going on about?”

Little Boy: “They’re just monkeying around Mom.”

Mother: *shakes her head and turns back to me* “He watches way too much TV.”

Me: “At least he’s watching some of the classics. My mom would love his taste in music!”

(I finished answering her questions, and she thanked me, promising to be back when they have time to get their photos taken. As they were leaving, I overheard the little boy trying to explain to his mother who the Monkees were. Really made my day.)

The Music Police

, , , , | Working | January 23, 2018

(It’s 1997. I work with a 19-year-old who thinks she knows everything about music. Puff Daddy’s “I’ll Be Missing You” is playing on the office radio. As the song ends:)

Coworker: “I love that song.”

Me: “Really? Come here for a second.”

(I play “Every Breath You Take” by the music group The Police.)

Coworker: *listening* “Ugh! I can’t believe someone is already sampling Puff Daddy’s work! That’s so lame! Why can’t they come up with their own music?!”

Me: “Uh, The Police wrote that song… in 1983. I’ll let you borrow my album if you have a record player.”

(She refused to believe that Puff Daddy sampled anything and wouldn’t look at any proof shown to her.)

“The Story Of Tonight” Lasts A Little Longer

, , , , , | Working | January 19, 2018

Coworker: “Do you like musicals?”

Me: “I listened to nothing but Hamilton for eight months.”

Coworker: “Wow. Okay.”

Thank You For The Music Facts

, , , , | Working | January 19, 2018

(An “ABBA” song comes on in the shop, and I quietly sing along while paying.)

Cashier: “You like ABBA?”

Me: “I do.”

Cashier: *staring at my driving licence* “When did they break up?”

Me: “’83, I think.”

Cashier: “Well, you can’t like them. You were born in ‘89.”

Me: *staring at his t-shirt* “When were you born?”

Cashier: “1998.”

Me: “And you like Nirvana?”

(He blushed and finished my purchase. You’ve got to love hypocrites.)

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