Guest: “My room does not have a refrigerator.”

Me: “No, ma’am. Not all of our rooms have them.”

Guest: “All rooms should have them! My room is missing mine. Bring one to my room.”

Me: “I can offer you a free upgrade to a room that has one?”

Guest: “No, then I would have to repack. Carry one up to my room.”

The guest has not paid for a refrigerator in the cost of her room. She has a second-story room and we do not have an elevator. I am seven months pregnant.

Me: “I am afraid I cannot do that, but—”

Guest: “Then get me your manager.”

Me: “Our manager is not here at this time of night, but—”

Guest: “I need your manager’s personal cell phone number to complain. I refuse to believe you have rooms without fridges. You’re just being fat and lazy.”

When I refused to give her the cell phone number, she asked for corporate’s number. I wrote it down on a sticky note with a smiley face. She came down later and asked to move rooms.

I made her pay the difference.

My wife and I were part of a social dance group in a large city before being transferred. Whenever we had the chance, we’d go back as we maintained good friends there.

The group had an annual weekend festival that involved dances or workshops on Friday evening, all day Saturday, and Sunday through early afternoon. This was always a great deal of fun and, as you can imagine, tiring.

One year, I scheduled a business trip for the week before the event and arranged to fly back Sunday evening. My wife couldn’t make it so I went stag. I decided to stay in a bed and breakfast fairly near the venue.

I participated in everything through Saturday at 4:00 pm when we had a four-hour break. I was fatigued, so after I had a small meal and a shower, I took a nap. When I awoke just before 7:00, I was groggy and disoriented, explaining what happens next.

My bathroom was not connected to my room but instead was across the hall. I staggered up and went across to use it, only to realize that I had locked myself out of my room. Other than pants and a T-shirt, I had nothing and no way to get to my car key, wallet, and dancing clothes.

No problem. The hosts can help, right? I went downstairs looking for them. Not around. Luckily, there was an emergency cell number posted. The front desk was empty, so I used the landline there. No answer. I called again. No answer. I called at least ten times continually without anyone picking up.

I was going into full panic mode and was considering the cost of breaking the door in when I found that the drawers of the front desk were unlocked with bunches of unlabeled keys therein. I grabbed them all and ran back to my room. The fifth key unlocked the door and I got to the dance on time.

As I checked out the next day, I spoke to the host and told him what had happened. He said they’d been out bowling. When I asked about the phone, he said that they’d heard it ring but, quote, “We couldn’t get there in time.” He’d had it in a coat pocket near their lane but couldn’t be bothered to take it with him regardless of the number of calls he heard. 

I said a few choice words, such as “lazy,” and worse. We did not part friends, and every review I made was negative, pointing out not only the lack of service but also the lax security; I could have gone into anyone else’s room! When my wife was able to accompany me two years later, we were careful to stay somewhere else.

A few evenings ago, a guest wrapped in a pool towel came to the front desk and tossed his keys on it.

Guest: “These keys aren’t working.”

Me: “Oh, I’m sorry!”

I remade the keys and sent him up. He came back downstairs and tossed the keys back on the desk.

Guest: “They’re still not working. A yellow light is coming up.”

This happens very rarely, and we always make it up to the guest.

Me: “It sounds like the card reader door needs to be reprogrammed, which will take about twenty minutes. My maintenance guy left twenty minutes ago but I’ll have him back to fix it right away.”

As I called the maintenance guy, the guy started huffing very heavily while staring at me with his eyes wide open.

Me: “Our maintenance guy will be here in twenty minutes. I’m going to comp your breakfast from yesterday. If you want, you can head back out to the jacuzzi and I’ll send you some drinks on us, as well, while you wait.”

Guest: “I will not do that. My girlfriend is upstairs waiting for the door to open in my suite that I paid to use!”

Me: “I apologize for that, sir. As I mentioned, my maintenance guy will be here in twenty minutes, so if you can bear with me until then, we’ll get you into your room.”

Guest: “I DON’T WANT TO GO INTO MY ROOM IN TWENTY MINUTES! I WANT TO GO INTO THE ROOM THAT I AM PAYING $400 A NIGHT FOR RIGHT NOW!”

Me: “Sir, this is completely our fault, but you must understand that sometimes things out of our control can happen. It’ll just be twenty minutes until he gets here and we will, of course, make this up to you.”

Guest: “I’M PAYING $400 A NIGHT TO STAY HERE! I WANT TO GO TO MY ROOM NOW, NOT IN TWENTY MINUTES!”

Me: “I understand that, but like I said, there is a problem with the card reader on the door that only our maintenance guy can fix. I want you to get into your room, but we can’t until our engineer gets here.”

Guest: “SO, YOU’RE NOT GOING TO LET ME INTO MY ROOM?”

Me: “I want you in your room. It just physically can’t happen because of the problem with the key reader.”

Guest: “SO, YOU’RE NOT GOING TO ALLOW ME INTO MY ROOM THAT I PAY $400 A NIGHT FOR?”

This back and forth continued for a few more minutes.

Me: “Sir, you need to lower your voice. I admit that this is our fault, but that doesn’t mean you can scream.”

Guest: “I WILL NOT LOWER MY VOICE! YOU ARE NOT ALLOWING ME TO GO INTO MY ROOM THAT I AM PAYING $400 A NIGHT FOR!”

Me: “I’ll allow you to go into your room. You just can’t because of the card reader.”

Guest: “SO, YOU’RE NOT LETTING ME INTO MY ROOM!”

Me: “I’ll let you go into your room. I am perfectly fine with you going into your room.”

Guest: “BUT I CAN’T!”

Me: “Yes, because the card reader is not working.”

Guest: “SO, YOU AREN’T LETTING ME INTO MY ROOM!”

Me: “Yes, I’ll let you go into your room; the card reader is just not working.”

Guest: “FINE! Can I go into another room while I wait, then?”

At this point, I was done with him and refused to help him.

Me: “No. This conversation is finished. You’ll have to wait.”

A few minutes later, I felt a burst of wind from outside and felt bad that his girlfriend might have been cold because of his stupidity. I made keys for a room next to theirs and gave it to him so she could go inside. He took the keys, but his girlfriend refused to go into the new room with him. He went in and then slammed the door shut, leaving her outside.

The engineer from maintenance came and fixed the door and then came to talk to me.

Engineer: “The door’s fixed. I could hear the dude in the room next door on the phone with his mom complaining about the hotel.”

We got his room ready, I went to tell him, and in front of me he was still repeating, “Mom, I’m spending $400 a night here and they’re not letting me into my room.”

I guess he and his girlfriend fought; two hours later, she left the hotel with her bags. He then walked in and out of the lobby a few times for a few more hours while walking slowly and staring at me wide-eyed. Everything he did, he did angrily; he pushed open the front doors hard, slammed on the elevator buttons, etc. Every time he closed his room door on the fourth floor, a guest would call asking what that gunshot sound was because of how hard he was slamming it.

Suddenly, at around 9:00 pm, I hear a loud slamming sound over and over again. I got like ten calls from scared guests. It turned out the dude was just in his doorway opening and slamming the door shut over and over again.

I called him.

Me: “Sir, we’ve been getting complaints. If you slam your door, one more time, you’ll be removed from the hotel.”

Well, he slammed it repeatedly again. He came downstairs at around 9:30 pm to check out as I was calling security to kick him out. While I was with him, I got a call from a guest asking what that sound was.

Me: “It’s an out-of-control guest. But don’t worry; he’s being kicked out now.”

I handed him his receipt, which he crumpled up in a ball and threw on the floor before walking out.

The next day, housekeeping reported that the door frame was shattered. Per the general manager, we charged him $1,000 for the broken door frame. I also added the comped breakfast back onto the bill.

The best part? Two weeks later I saw a one-star review from him saying, “They wouldn’t let me into my suite that I was paying $400 a night for. Ruined my anniversary. Would not recommend.”

It is approximately 1:00 am and I receive a call from a guest.

Guest: “Water is coming out of my shower.”

Me: *Confused* “I don’t understand. Can you explain?”

Guest: “The knob you pull out to start the shower has come out, and water is spraying out.”

I immediately inform the security guard and I run down to the room to investigate. I knock, the guest lets me in, and I run to the bathroom.

There is a beam of water coming out of the shower valve hole and it is hitting the back wall and spraying everywhere. The tub is plugged with the stopper, so in addition to this, the tub is about an inch from overflowing.

I quickly unplug the tub, grab the garbage can, remove the bag, and begin bucketing water into the toilet.

Me: *To the guest* “Call the front desk and ask the security guard to come down here straight away.”

The guest calls the desk and the guard comes down. I have the guard take over for me bucketing the water, and I run back to the front desk.

I look up the number for the main maintenance staff member and call him at home. His wife answers.

Wife: “He’s not home.”

Me: “I know for a fact that he is home. I just need to ask him a question, as we have a bit of a plumbing emergency.”

He is a good guy but gets calls like this frequently due to the state of the hotel. He comes to the phone.

Maintenance: “The water shutoffs in the hotel are in four-room sections. What room is the problem in?”

Me: “[Room number #1].”

Maintenance: “The shutoff you need to get to is upstairs from [room number #2].”

I ran down to this other room, soaking wet, at 1:15 am, knocked on the door, woke up the occupants, and explained that we were having a plumbing emergency. I ran to their bathroom, pushed through the drop ceiling in the bathroom, and shut off the water valve for that section of rooms.

The next day, they compensated all guests in rooms involved, and provided other rooms for them to shower in.

I’m working in a hotel. A woman comes to the desk and hands me her ID and her card and I get her reservation started. After I type her name in, it comes up as being flagged “Do Not Rent.” I go back to the window and inform her of this.

Woman: “But I’ve never been here before.”

Me: “The person who checked you in recorded your address, as well as your driver’s license number, after a stay in September of last year.”

Woman: “Well, my boyfriend has been here before. Maybe he used it, then?”

Me: “Does he look a lot like you?”

Woman: “No.”

Me: “Then, no, it’s probably not that.”

Woman: “I don’t understand. The one time I was here, he paid for it.”