(I have just been promoted to a manager position at my hotel. Every shift, one manager is the designated manager on duty, meaning they will be in charge of fielding any serious guest complaints, and they are technically in charge of the hotel for their shift. On one of my first MOD shifts, a guest comes to the desk to complain.)

Guest #1: “We’re sitting over by the bar and there are bugs all over our table! It’s disgusting!”

Me: “Oh, my goodness! I am so sorry. Let me come over right away!”

(I follow the guest over to her group. I can see no insects anywhere, except for a single one that a guest has trapped under a glass. Being new to this, I am foolish enough to be relieved.)

Me: “Oh, well, I am so sorry about that! It must have come in from outside and—“

Guest #2: “I don’t believe that crap for a second!”

(I am just puzzled. The area they are sitting in is only about 30 feet from the main entrance, which is constantly opening and closing. It didn’t even occur to me to think that someone would question the logic.)

Me: “Sir?”

Guest #2: “That is a roach. And if there’s one of them, there are hundreds.”

(His party is all nodding in agreement, and I look down at the bug in question. While I don’t know exactly what it is, it’s about the size of my pinky nail, and very light tan. Not a roach, in short.)

Me: “Erm… Well, I am not really qualified to identify the insect, sir, but I am fairly sure it just came in from outside. However, if there is anything I can do for the inconvenience—“

Guest #2: “I want a free drink.”

Me: “I’ll be happy to give you a free drink voucher, sir. Just be aware that our bar closes in about twenty minutes, so you might want to be quick about using it.”

Guest #2: “Whatever.”

(I got him his free drink voucher, and took the bug away and squished it, tossing it in the trash. I thought no more about it. The next day, the bartender told me the guy came up ten minutes after close to try and use his voucher.)

(I work for a large hotel company that has many locations. The hotel where I work is in downtown Washington, DC. The phone rings.)

Me: “Hello! My name is [My Name]. How may I help you today?”

Caller: “Hello. I’d like to make a booking for a room with an ocean and beach view.”

Me: “Oh, this is actually [Hotel] in Washington, DC. Did you mean to call a different location?”

Caller: “No, I’m calling [Hotel] in Washington, DC.”

Me: “Um, I’m sorry, but there’s no ocean in Washington, DC.”

(A couple of my coworkers turn around to look at me with raised eyebrows when I say this.)

Caller: “Oh, well just any view, then, I guess.”

(A young woman comes in and asks for the price of a room. She seems to be Indian descent. I tell her.)

Woman: “No, that’s too much. Do you have discounts?”

Me: “Well, triple A is [price].”

Woman: “No, it’s still too much.” *sighs* “Now, what I am supposed to do, I’m stranded here and I can’t afford it!”

Me: “Well, you could go to another cheaper hotel.”

Woman: “How?”

Me: “Well, there are some five miles away. You could take a taxi.” *trying to be helpful* “Want me to call you one?”

Woman: “No! Taxis rape yoooou!”

Me: *shocked* “Uh?”

Woman: “Rape!” *leaves*

(She took off a a fast pace towards to budget hotels, I guess, meaning to walk the whole way rather than taking a cab. This was after midnight, a lone woman, in the worst part of town. I hope she made it there okay!)

(I work as an operator in a hotel. When you call our phone number, you hear a recorded line that says the hotel name as well as a menu to direct you to where you want to go (make a reservation, talk to security, etc). Note that there is no way to speak to the operator, or call the hotel in general, without hearing the recorded line and hotel name first. A few days ago, I get the following call.)

Me: Thank you for calling [Hotel Name], this is [My Name] speaking, how may I direct your call?
Caller: Yes, I’m looking for [Guest Name]’s room?
Me: (After looking for a minute for the name) I’m sorry, sir, I don’t have that name in our system.
Caller: … You don’t have her in your system?
Me: That’s correct, I’m sorry, sir. Are you sure she was staying with [Hotel Name]?
Caller: Yes, I did. Her name is [Guest Name]. I know she’s staying there, I just spoke to her.
Me: Okay, I looked again and I’m very sorry but I cannot find her in my system.
Caller: Are you serious? This is ridiculous. I know she’s staying there, she’s in room [1500 number].
Me: …. You said room [1500#]
Caller: Yes! I know she’s there, I literally just spoke to her.
Me: Sir… there is no such room at this hotel.
Caller: What?
Me: We only have rooms that go up to the 1300s.
Caller: Wait… is this [Different Hotel]?
Me: No, sir, as I’ve stated before, this is [Hotel Name].
Caller: Oh, I’m sorry, I called the wrong hotel! Thanks anyway!

*Click*

(We have a garage for guest to park, it is very tight in there.)

Customer: “Excuse me! Someone hit my car and scratched it! I want to know who it is!”

Me: “Ah, I’m sorry, but there is no way to know.”

Customer: “Certainly you have security cameras?”

Me: “Not in the garage.”

Customer: “You are being very unhelpful! Someone scratched my car and it’s a rental and now I’ll have to pay a damage fee! I want compensation!”

Me: “Ma’am–”

Customer: “Where’s your manager?!”

(The only manager available is the GM, who is very gruff. However, I have other customers to attend to, and she won’t stop harassing me, so I go to look for him. Just as I look, I see him come out of the office.)

Customer: “Are you the manager?!”

(He says yes and she starts to chew his ear off about her car. I don’t know what happened, but soon after that, both the GM and the customer stomp away from each other, looking very angry! I guess he told her to buzz off since we have Park At Your Own Risk signs and she didn’t like that. Sure enough, we got a negative review about it.)