Now Offering Extra Free Guacamole And A Turn-Down Service

, , , | Right | October 17, 2019

(A guest with a thick accent comes up to the front desk looking for directions.)

Guest: “Can you tell me where is the nearest cheep-otel?”

Me: “I’m sorry?”

Guest: “The nearest cheep-otel?”

(They way he is pronouncing it, it sounds like “cheap hotel.”)

Me: “Well… there’s a couple [Hotels] in the area, or if you go down [Street] there are some smaller-name hotels, but I don’t really know any of their price ranges.”

Guest: “No! Cheep-otel! The Mexican place? They make burritos?”

Me: “Um… OH! CHIPOTLE!”

(Awkward silence.)

Me: “Let me look that up for you.”

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Unfiltered Story #169621

, , | Unfiltered | October 16, 2019

I work as a front desk agent for a popular hotel in my area. During the morning shift we check out the guests and make sure everything was okay.

Lady: We are getting our things and then leaving

Me: Okay, How was everything?

Lady: Oh it was goooood

(Stands there staring at me)

Me: Glad everything went well

(Lady leaves to get a rolling cart for her things and then returns to the desk)

Lady: I don’t know where I am..

Me: You are in (Name of City)

Lady: No I know that, I just don’t know where I am

Me: (Name of the hotel)

Lady: Oh yes!! I want to stay at another place that will give me a discount card or something

Me: I have a list of our hotels in other locations if you know where you will be stopping at today

Lady: No no I can get that off the internet, I just want a place that has a discount card

Me: Well there is AAA discounts among others if you have that

Lady: No I have old people discount

Me: (blankly stare)

Lady: Well I got to go

Cashing Out Early

, , , , | Right | October 14, 2019

(I work at a combined hotel front desk and casino players club. While we do everything in one place, they are two separate systems; doing something in one doesn’t require doing anything in the other.)

Guest: “What can you do for me tonight?”

Me: “Your only offers are for Sunday through Thursday. Cheapest tonight is a smoking economy room for $79.99.”

Guest: “No, that is just way too expensive.”

Me: “Okay, well, you have $5 bonus cash; if you could just sign here to receive the bonus cash…”

Guest: “No, I don’t want the room; it’s too much.”

Me: “The bonus cash has nothing to do with whether or not you stay in the room; it’s yours to take either way. I just need you to sign before I can give it to you.”

Guest: “No, I want nothing to do with this place tonight.”

(The guest storms out.)

Next Guest: “Did they really just refuse free cash?”

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Lot B For “Broken”

, , , , | Working | October 14, 2019

(I am driving west and stop at a hotel in Reno for the night. As I check in, the receptionist asks where I am parked. I tell her.)

Receptionist: “You have to park in lot B, because that is where your room is assigned.”

(No big deal. I finish checking in and move my car to that lot. Cut to the next morning. I go out to my car and see that my bike has been stolen off the car rack. I mention it to the morning receptionist:)

Receptionist: “Oh, yeah, we get a lot of thefts from that lot. The security camera’s broken.”

(That would have been more useful information on check-in.)

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Technological Advancements In Dad Jokes

, , , , , | Right | October 10, 2019

(I’m working the front desk at a chain hotel when a couple with a baby comes in. They check in without issue and head up to their room. About ten minutes later, the father enters the lobby and approaches me looking nervous.)

Father: “I found a mouse under the heater in our room.”

Me: “Oh, my. Sir, I am—”

Father: “No, it’s okay. It was dead.”

(He places a wireless computer mouse on the counter; I am very relieved.)

Father: “Sorry. I’m a dad now. I couldn’t resist that.”

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