(I am tidying around my department in a big box store when I find a customer’s wallet on the floor nearby. Store policy is to have two employees present when you open the wallet to check for identification. I grab a nearby associate and we open the wallet, locate the customer’s driver’s license, and take the wallet to the customer service desk where I page the customer to the desk by name. Shortly after paging I see a man storming up to the desk.)

Me: “Hello, sir, did yo—”

Customer: “Why the h*** did you page me? It’s embarrassing!”

Me: “Sir, we found your wallet.”

Customer: “I have my d*** wallet. And I have shopping to do!”

(The customer turns to leave.)

Me: “Sir! Could you please just humour me and check for your wallet?”

Customer: “I have shopping to do, and I have my d*** wallet.”

Me: “Then how did I get your name to page you?”

(The customer stopped walking away from the desk, patted down the back pocket of his jeans, and when he couldn’t find his wallet, stomped back to the desk, grabbed it from me, and stormed off without so much as a thank-you.)

(I’m working at a sandwich shop when a customer comes through our drive-thru. The coworker at the window calls out the order, and another coworker and I make the sandwich. Our sandwiches are ordered by number. We make a fourteen. As it’s handed out the window, I say:)

Me: “Enjoy your fourteen!”

(The customer pulls away and the window coworker says:)

Coworker: “Oh, no! That was supposed to be a thirteen [vegetarian sandwich]!”

(I try to flag the customer down, but he is gone. A minute later, the customer pulls up to the window honking his horn repeatedly. I lean out the window.)

Me: “Sorry about that, sir; we just realized our mistake. We’ll replace that for you and give you a free bag of chips.”

Customer: “I don’t eat meat, man. I don’t want any f****** chips. I want a refund and two free sandwiches.”

Me: “Let me get my manager, please.”

(The manager comes up and the customer starts yelling:)

Customer: “If I had taken a f****** bite of this, I’d have spit it back in your face. I’m disgusted and offended that you’d even serve this to me!”

Manager: “Sorry about that, sir. It was a simple mistake. I’ve refunded you for your sandwich, and here are those two vegetarian sandwiches. I’ve also thrown in a free bag of chips and a cookie.”

(We took the other sandwich and it hadn’t even had a bite taken out of it. Later, we received a call that we’d gotten a corporate customer complaint over a simple misheard number and two free sandwiches. Just because you’re offended doesn’t mean you have the right to ruin other people’s days.)

(At our store, you can look up a customer’s account using their name and some other details to save their purchase or receipt. A woman storms into the shop and up to the counter — I guess already not satisfied by something outside the store — with a grim look on her face, and buys a pack of batteries.)

Customer: “Kneel down!”

Me: “Excuse me?”

Customer: *even louder* “KNEEL DOWN!”

(My coworkers and I look all confused, as we have no idea what to do.)

Customer: *loud and slowly* “MY NAME! KNEEEEEL DOOOOOOWN!”

(Her name… I looked it up for her purchase. Her name was Ms. Kneeldown.)

(I work at a grocery store chain, and today I am out collecting carts. I notice a customer parked in a disabled spot, having problems getting out.)

Me: “Sir, do you need help or anything?”

Customer: “Oh, no, I’ll just wait for this lady and use her cart.”

(There is another customer at her car next to his putting her groceries in. I assume this is the end of it, and walk away to go collect carts. When I turn around, the lady is still putting her groceries up, and the man is more than halfway to the doors. I try to catch up to him, but he’s just getting a cart.)

Customer: *sees me just as I stop to wait, so that I can put the carts in* “Well, you’ll just have to wait! Thanks for not giving me a cart!”

(He then proceeded to almost toss a small cart across the lobby. Fifteen minutes later I was back inside bagging. He came through my lane and acted like he hadn’t yelled at me or anything.)

My college friend called me one day asking for advice. A few days before, she was hit by a car making a right turn across a crosswalk. My friend was on her bike but had the right of way. At first, the driver didn’t stop, and instead started off down the street before wisely deciding to return to the scene. My friend suffered no injuries, but her bike was badly damaged. A cop was called to the scene to take a report. My friend decided that she didn’t want to press charges as long as the driver paid to repair the bike, my friend’s main method of transport around the city. The cop agreed not to issue a ticket, but gave my friend his contact information and told her to let him know if there was any trouble.

The reason my friend called was that after taking the bike to her local bike shop and getting an estimate on repairs, she called the driver up to arrange payment. The driver didn’t want to pay, claiming she couldn’t afford it. She pleaded with my friend, saying that she just couldn’t do it.

My dad is a lawyer, and often gives free advice to my friends, so she was wondering what suggestions he had. My dad laughed when he told her the story. He knew exactly what to do, and wrote it all down for her in an email to recite when she called the driver back.

She called the woman back and politely told her that the agreement was to pay for the bike repairs in exchange for no ticket or summons being issued. If the driver was now reneging on that agreement, my friend would call the cop who came to the scene and request he issue the summons. The driver would have to pay a fine, and her insurance company would likely raise her rates.

My friend’s bike was repaired within the week.

To this day, my dad can’t believe that driver was so dumb as to try to weasel out of what was literally a gift from my friend of not letting her insurance company know what she did.