(My girlfriend just got off work and I meet her in the baby clothes section so we can buy clothes for a new baby. Her name tag is off, she’s wearing her purse, and we’re holding hands.)

Me: “I really like the shorts on this outfit. The giraffe on the shirt is lame, but these shorts rock.”

(A woman shopping next to us looks at the outfit I’m holding as I hand it to my girlfriend.)

Girlfriend: “Oooh, these are adorable.”

Me: “Aren’t they?”

Customer: “Let me see that.”

(She grabs the outfit from my girlfriend’s hands.)

Customer: “Oh, yeah, they are cute. I think I changed my mind. Thank you for finding this for me.”

(As I looked at her with a face of contempt, she started to walk away. I went to say that we’d been looking at those, but my girlfriends stopped me to avoid getting in trouble with her work.)

(I work in a fast food restaurant. It is very busy when an older lady walks in holding pamphlets.)

Me: “How are you?”

Customer: “Good, thanks. Look, I was wondering if you could take these pamphlets and hand them out to your colleagues?”

(I start to say, “Honestly, I am not sure; let me just get you my manager.”)

Me: “Honestly, I—”

Customer: “—can’t read. That’s okay, dear. We will take our business elsewhere.”

(The lady left and I was left standing there shocked. This must have been the stereotypical, “You work in fast food; you’re stupid,” thing. I wish I’d had time to tell her I was saving up to study law and therefore can read quite well!)

(I work in a fairly high-end hotel bar and restaurant in a nice part of town. A family with two young daughters comes in and orders a bottle of our most expensive champagne. A coworker takes it over to them. A little while later, the father comes up to the bar, presumably to buy non-alcoholic drinks for his daughters.)

Me: “How can I help you?”

Customer: “Can I borrow a bottle opener?”

Me: “You don’t need a bottle opener for that type of champagne. If you like, I could open it for you, sir.”

Customer: “No, it’s not for the champagne. It’s for the drinks I bought for the girls.”

Me: “Were they not opened when you bought them?”

Customer: “No, we bought them from a supermarket.”

Me: “Unfortunately, sir, you won’t be allowed to drink those in here. You can only consume food and drink purchased on the premises.”

Customer: *getting aggravated* “This is ridiculous. I’ve come here and bought your stupidly expensive champagne, I’m going to eat dinner here later, and I have to waste money on your inflated prices for [Soft Drink], as well?” *storms back to table*

(Later, I saw that another colleague had served him [Soft Drink], and he was now topping up their empty glasses with the drinks he’d brought in with him. I alerted my manager, who confiscated the drinks. Daft that he was happy to spend £100 on champagne, similar on food, but not £2 each on soft drinks.)

(It has gone 9:30 pm. My mum is in hospital and I am at home. I get a call from her asking me to speak to the lady in the next bed who I’ve never spoken to or seen at any point in the past. I work advising people of what social security benefits they can receive. She wants to know what she can get as she is now ill.)

Me: “Do you have a partner?”

Lady: “What’s that got to do with it? I am the one that needs money.”

Me: “What you can get changes depending on whether you have a partner, kids, etc., so I need to know.”

Lady: “Well, what can I get if I have a partner?”

Me: *explains*

Lady: “And if I don’t?”

Me: *explains*

Lady: “What if I have kids?”

Me: “How old are they?”

Lady: “That’s none of your business.”

Me: “Again, what you can get changes on how many and how old they are.”

(She makes me explain what she can get if she doesn’t have kids, has older kids in their teens, has young babies, etc., despite refusing to indicate what info she needs and whether it’s helpful.)

Lady: “What should work give me?”

Me: “Are they paying you statutory sick pay?”

Lady: “If they were?”

(I explained what happens if they are but she made me go on to explain what would happen if they weren’t or were going to or have no intention of paying her. Twenty minutes of being nothing but polite and helpful later, despite her talking to me like something on the bottom of her shoe and being fantastically unhelpful, pedantic, and rude, she slammed down the phone without a word of thanks or acknowledging the inconvenience she had put me through, calling me at home late at night. I went to visit my mum the following day and the woman just glared at me when my mum introduced us! The sad thing is that she wasn’t the most unpleasant person I’d spoken to that day.)

(I work at a call center conducting surveys. One particular survey is a banking survey that mentions a few specific banks in some questions. I have a man who starts it with me one day.)

Me: “Is there a [Bank] close enough to your business?”

Caller: “Don’t mention that bank to me. They stole from me and I hate them. If you bring them up again, I will hang up.”

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, but I have to read the questions. These calls can be monitored for quality control, so I have to read everything word for word.”

Caller: “Well, then, just skip those questions.”

Me: “Again, sir, I’m not allowed to skip questions. In fact, my computer does not allow me to.”

(He grumbles and lets me continue. A few questions later, the bank is mentioned again and I know it will not be good.)

Me: “How favorably do you feel towards [Bank]? Somewhat fav—”

Caller: “I TOLD YOU NOT TO MENTION THAT BANK AGAIN! YOU SAID IT WOULDN’T COME UP AGAIN! YOU LIED!” *click*