Men Think They Can Have Everything

, , , , , , | Healthy | January 19, 2018

(I am waiting at a doctor’s office. I have heard some crazy things at this place, but this is pretty nuts, even by their standards. A man is sitting in the waiting room, talking to the receptionist. He’s in his twenties.)

Man: “Can you give me some birth control?”

Receptionist: *looks at him a bit strangely* “Okay.”

Man: “Like, the copper thingy?”

Me: “That’s for girls.”

Man: “Jesus! Why are you so f****** sexist? You dumb b****! I can get it, too, if I want it!”

Receptionist: “Um, actually—”

Man: “I DON’T WANT TO GET PREGNANT!”

It’s Four Sure Still Reserved

, , , , , | Right | January 19, 2018

(My grandma, mum, and I are having tea at a small cafe. Next to us there is this decorated table, which is reserved, and every waitress warns people about this when they try sitting down. One guy is about to sit there when a waitress approaches him.)

Waitress: “I’m sorry, sir. This table is reserved.”

Guy: “Oh. We’re four people.” *tries to sit down*

Waitress: “Okay, but this table is still reserved”

Guy: “We’re only four people!”

Waitress: “Sir, you can not sit here. We’ll find you another table.”

Guy: *as he leaves* “But we’re four people!”

Legal Tender, Karma Rendered

, , , , , , , | Right | January 19, 2018

(I am manning the register soon after opening one morning. A customer makes a small purchase and offers a $100 bill to pay.)

Me: *politely* “Do you have a smaller bill, or would you like to pay with another form of payment? The change for this purchase would take a large portion of the paper money in the till.”

Customer: *smug* ” No, I want to break this bill; it is legal tender, you know.”

(I politely agree, and begin counting out fives and ones. This does not please the customer.)

Customer: “No! I want larger bills!”

Me: “I am sorry, sir; I do not have any larger bills. These are legal tender, you know.”

Customer: “Oh, never mind! I’ll pay with my credit card!”

(I politely informed him that he couldn’t do that, as the till was already open for a cash sale. The customer left, angrily stuffing the mass of bills into his wallet. I just smiled my best polite smile.)

Thank You For The Music Facts

, , , , | Working | January 19, 2018

(An “ABBA” song comes on in the shop, and I quietly sing along while paying.)

Cashier: “You like ABBA?”

Me: “I do.”

Cashier: *staring at my driving licence* “When did they break up?”

Me: “’83, I think.”

Cashier: “Well, you can’t like them. You were born in ‘89.”

Me: *staring at his t-shirt* “When were you born?”

Cashier: “1998.”

Me: “And you like Nirvana?”

(He blushed and finished my purchase. You’ve got to love hypocrites.)

Retail: Where “Just In Time” Means 20 Minutes Late

, , , , | Right | January 19, 2018

(I’m a cashier. Our store closes at 8:00 pm and we give our customers reminders that our store is closing every five minutes from 7:45 to 8:00. We make sure we say our announcements loud and clear. By 8:10, I am finally checking out what I think will be my last customer of the night and my manager calls for a security count. A few minutes later a woman comes up with four items.)

Me: “Did you find everything okay today?”

Customer: “Yeah, thanks. So, I decided I don’t want these two items.”

Me: “Okay, no problem. Your total comes to [amount].”

Customer: *as she’s paying* “What time do y’all close?”

Me: “Uh, we closed at eight.”

Customer: “Oh, great! I made it just in time!”

(It was around 8:15 or 8:20 by then.)

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