How To Whaize Stupid Children

, , , , , | Right | August 15, 2018

Customer: “Where can I find ‘wazzzzher blades’?”

Me: “Can you please repeat the item?”

Customer: “YOU DON’T KNOW WHERE ‘WAZZZZHER BLADES’ ARE? You’re f****** useless. You shouldn’t work at a hardware store.”

(Later, he came up to ring out with razor blades.)

Customer:Here. For future reference, this is a ‘wazzzzher blade.’”

Me: “You mean a razor blade?”

Customer: “In my family, we say, ‘wazzzzher.’ Don’t f****** correct me.”

Sand(wich) Of Time

, , , , , , | Right | August 15, 2018

(I work at a local sandwich-and-coffee eatery in a college town. A lot of students stop by for lunch, but since they all get out of class at the same time, the lunch rush is crazy. One of our sandwiches is extremely popular, but it takes a little longer because it goes in a panini press and we only have space for three sandwiches. An average wait time for this sandwich during the lunch rush is twenty-five minutes. When a lot of these get ordered in quick succession, something like this happens at least once a day. It is noon:)

Me: “Here’s your receipt. We’ll have your food out to you as soon as we can, but this sandwich usually takes a little longer.”

Customer: “Okay.”

(At 12:15:)

Customer: *to a very busy me* “Um, excuse me, I’ve been waiting like twenty-five minutes for my [sandwich]. Can you go check on it?”

Me: “Your sandwich usually takes a little longer because it’s a panini, but I’ll go check.” *goes to the sandwich line* “Do you guys have a [sandwich] in the panini press?”

Coworker: “We’ve got like ten [sandwiches]. Do you know which one it is?”

Me: “Yeah, her receipt number is [number].”

Coworker: “It’s waiting to go in the press.”

Me: *goes back to the front* “They’re working on it.”

Customer: “Yeah, okay.”

(At 12:20:)

Customer: *to someone else* “Um, I’ve been waiting like 45 minutes for my [sandwich]. Can you go check on it?”

Coworker: “It’s probably in the panini press, but I’ll go see.”

(My coworker goes away and comes back.)

Coworker: “Yeah, it’s in the panini press.”

Customer: “Well, okay.”

(At 12:25:)

Customer: *to yet someone else* “Um, I’ve been waiting like an hour for my [sandwich]. Can you go check on it?”

Me: “You know your receipt is time-stamped, right?”

Piercing Need For A Guardian

, , , | Right | August 15, 2018

(I work for a popular children’s jewellery shop that also does ear piercing. Piercings for children can only happen if a parent or legal guardian is present to sign the forms; this is store policy. A customer approaches with two teen girls.)

Customer: “Hi, I’d like to get her ears pierced.” *gestures to one of the girls*

Me: “Of course. I just need to ask what relation you are to her.”

Customer: “What do you mean?”

Me: “Well, are you her parent or legal guardian?”

Customer: “I’m her guardian for today; I’m looking after her.”

Me: “So, you’re not her mother or adoptive mother?”

Customer: “No, but I’m in charge of her for today.”

Me: “I’m very sorry, but a parent or legal guardian has to be here to sign the forms and agree to the piercing; if she comes back with a parent I’d be happy to pierce her ears.”

Customer: *suddenly very irate* “But I am her guardian for today. Why can’t you just do it!?”

Me: “It’s store policy; we can’t pierce a child’s ears without a parent’s permission.”

Customer: *nearly yelling* “Well, that’s stupid! Why can’t I just sign the forms? You’re wasting my time!”

Me: “You can’t sign the forms because you’re not her mother.”

(This conversation goes around for a while, with me trying to keep me cool, saying that the girl’s parent needs to be present, and the woman yelling about how stupid I am, and how stupid the store is.)

Customer: “Well, I’ll just go to another shop and say I’m her mum! You are ridiculous! I won’t shop here again!”

(She then buys several products, all the while muttering about how stupid the store is and how she’ll just go to another shop and lie.)

Me: *as customer leaves* “Have a lovely day!”

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The Line Is Shorter Than Their Temper

, , , | Friendly | August 14, 2018

(Most of this conversation happens in German. I am at an airport. After the security check, my husband and I are waiting in a check-in line. In front of us there are a huge youth group and a couple waiting. Behind us are one group with mostly elderly people, individual families, and a lot of other people. Suddenly, an elderly lady appears and starts to talk to the couple in front of us. She clearly cuts the line in front of us but we don’t say anything. The check-in is very slow and after one hour or so, only half of the youth group is checked in. Suddenly, they open another counter and the couple, the elderly lady, and some people from behind us go to it. We decide to stay in our line. After waiting another 45 minutes, it is almost our turn to check in. Suddenly, from the side, an older guy appears and starts to shout:)

Older Man: “Go back! You just cut the line. It is very rude! How uneducated are you?!”

Me: “I am sorry, but we have been waiting here already for almost two hours. We arrived in front of you.”

Older Man: “Don’t lie! Go to the end of the line!”

Me: “Why should we?!”

(Suddenly, the tour guide of the group appears:)

Tour Guide: “Go back to the end of the line! It is extremely rude to cut the line! We are a group; we need to check in together!”

Me: “As I said, we waited her almost two hours. A couple from your group was in front of us. An elderly lady cut the line but then they went to an other counter… and why I should lie about it?!”

(The guide doesn’t say anything and walks away. That makes the older guy even more angry, and he starts to rant about it with his fellows.)

Older Man: “They are just doing it to get a window seat!”

Me: “Don’t worry about your precious window seat. I checked in online yesterday and already chose our seats!”

(Finally, he calms down. Our plane has to do a stop over in another country. We have to get off the plane and do a security check before waiting in the transit hall. This time, the rude group is in front of us. Suddenly, a policewoman says in Russian:)

Policewoman: “Please, use the other line, too!”

(I say to the group in German:)

Me: “The lady just said you can use the other line, too.”

(The group just looks angrily at me and ignores it. The policewoman comes to me and my husband and says, in English this time:)

Policewoman: “Please, use the other line, too. No need to wait here. It is very hot.”

(Of course, we follow her request and go to the other line. I can only hear that guy angrily exclaim:)

Older Man: “See?! Now they cut the line again!”

Hi-Time To Leave

, , , , , | Right | August 14, 2018

(There are two associates on the floor assisting sales, and I am behind the register. An older lady comes into our store and instantly we can tell that she is irritable. My coworker greets her:)

Coworker: “Welcome to [Store]! Is there anything I can help you find?”

Customer:No! I’m fine! I know what I need!”

(My coworker gives me a terrified look and walks away to help another customer. A few minutes later the lady comes up to the counter with a shopping bag FULL of product and throws it onto the counter.)

Customer: “You know, I love shopping here, I really do, but I simply cannot shop while that lady—” *points at my coworker* “—continuously hovers over me! I cannot shop under these conditions! I love this store, but you are getting none of my business today!”

(The lady then storms out of the store.)

Coworker: “All I said was hi.”

Me: “I guess that’s too much for some people.”

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