In Soviet Russia, Accent Speaks You, Part 2
My best friend and I are at the mall, intending to buy a recently released console accessory. We chat a bit as we line up at the desk. A tall clerk waves us over and greets us with a moderate Slavic accent.
Me: “Hey, do you have any of those new [accessories]?”
Cashier: “We do. Do you want just the one?”
Me: “Yes, thanks! Man, I was worried there’d be none left!”
He rummages around in the cupboard behind the registers but can’t find any.
Cashier: “Don’t worry. We have more in the back.”
Me: “Not a problem at all; take your time.”
He leaves, and I turn to see my friend staring bug-eyed at me.
Me: “What?”
Friend: “Bro, what the h***?”
Me: “What?”
Friend: “Were you… were you not doing that on purpose?”
Me: *Confused* “Doing what?”
Friend: *Incredulous* “[My Name], you copied his accent. Really, really badly.”
The interaction plays out again in my head and I realise that I did exactly that! The mounting horror must show on my face, because my friend start to crack up.
Friend: “Why did you do that? How didn’t you notice?!”
Me: “I don’t know!”
The cashier comes back with the gadget. I pay and mumble a quick thanks before scrambling out of the store.
Me: “Oh, my God! I even greeted him normally, so he must have known! Did he not notice, or does he get that so much he just puts up with it? Oh, man, I was a total a**hole! [Friend], you’re not allowed to tell anyone!”
Sorry, cashier buddy!
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In Soviet Russia, Accent Speaks You