A Kind Of Sucky Bloodsucker
I’m going to donate blood. For those that don’t know, this means getting dragged into a private room first for some testing to make sure I can donate and answering a whole lot of boring questions, most of which I’ve actually pre-answered on the app this time. However, they have one to ask that isn’t on the app.
Nurse: “And have you had a [contagious illness] vaccine?”
Me: “Yep, and the booster.”
Nurse: “And which vaccine did you get?”
Me: “It was… Oh, having a brain fart right now. Could you remind me the names of the vaccines?”
Nurse: “I can’t do that. You have to tell me.”
Me: “I was just asking for the names to jog my memory.”
Nurse: “If I tell you, then you could just lie and pick one of them when you didn’t really get the vaccine.”
For the record, I’ve had to jog my memory by asking for the names of the vaccines when donating blood at this exact same facility before and didn’t have any trouble with it.
Me: “Do you require a [contagious illness] vaccine to donate here?”
Nurse: “No, but I need to know what vaccine you got if you said you got one.”
Me: “But if I can donate blood without the vaccine, there is no incentive for me to lie about it.”
Nurse: “I need you to tell me a vaccine without my helping, or you can’t donate blood here.”
Me: “So, what? Do you want me to claim I got the [Company #1] one, even though I know that’s not the one I got, just to donate?”
This last question is asked in what I think is an obviously sarcastic tone, but she apparently doesn’t pick up on that.
Nurse: “Okay, fine. I’ll put that. We just need a name.”
Me: “But I didn’t get that one.”
Nurse: “It doesn’t really matter for an old vaccine.”
So, apparently, rather than my potentially lying when I have no incentive to do so, she would rather force me into an explicit known lie.
Once I was no longer distracted by how inane her request was, a little later, I remembered I had photos of my vaccination card on my phone, so I looked it up and tried telling [Nurse] that I actually got the [Company #2] vaccine, but she couldn’t be bothered to go back and correct the records that she had basically bullied me into falsifying.
[Nurse] also managed to stick me wrong when she drew blood — I could tell from the feeling — with what everyone agreed was a badly put-together bag. In her defense, though, I believe they grab already put-together bags, so she probably wasn’t the one to put it together wrong.
Then, [Nurse] told me that her shift was up and she was leaving and letting someone else handle the rest. Cue three separate people all huddled around me trying to figure out how to draw blood for the last tubes they collect for testing when, for whatever reason, they wouldn’t fill despite the main bag filling properly. Luckily, they called in an older man who was apparently their expert, and there wasn’t any real pain, just some pretty mild discomfort, as he fought with the needle to get the blood flowing. Suffice it to say, I was less than impressed with the first woman.
Despite my complaints, though, I really do recommend that everyone donate blood. I’ve been doing it like clockwork every two months for the last decade and a half, and this still ranks as one of my top five worst experiences, despite really not being that bad, so please don’t think you’re likely to have trouble if you donate.