Ya Think?!

, , , , , | | Working | July 15, 2019

(I am put on the rota for a day that I requested off, as some executives from head office are coming in and I was noted by our manager for being a good ambassador for the site. This conversation happens after the executives leave on the day. Staff can request days off in their normal availability by penciling the date in a diary in the manager’s office.)

Manager: “They told me you perform well but didn’t feel like you wanted to be here.”

Me: *deadpan* “I requested today off to observe the first anniversary of my uncle’s death with my loved ones, but was told I couldn’t have it because [Executives] were coming.”

Manager: “Oh…”

Lost In Insulting Translation

, , , , , | | Friendly | July 15, 2019

(My mother and I are walking through a parking lot when a giant van suddenly cuts in front of us and keeps heading towards us! We stop and the guy has his window open and is glaring.)

Mom: “Hey, we’re pedestrians! Don’t cut in front of us like that!”

(He speeds up and we move to the side. As he pulls ahead, he honks his horn loudly several times before shouting back at us.)

Guy: “You’re eating that godd*** baloney sandwich!”

(My mom and I cracked up. I think he was trying to say we were full of baloney. In any case, we were pedestrians with the right of way and he was a reckless driver who nearly hit us, so we know who really was “eating that godd*** baloney sandwich.”)

Devil’s Jew

, , , , , | | Right | July 15, 2019

(I am ringing customers. A woman gets in the small line that is forming, followed by a gentleman who is spouting about seeing Jesus and being pure of heart and spirituality. He was in earlier in the day so I know who he is.)

Man: *mumbles about seeing Jesus*

Woman: “I don’t want to hear it.”

(They continue like this until the woman comes up to me to be rung up. The gentleman continues while the woman silently pleads for help. I decide to step in.)

Me: “Sir, I am sorry, but we are in the middle of a transaction here.”

Man: *mumbles about being rude*

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, but we are still in the middle of a transaction.”

Man: “I was talking to her.”

(The woman mouths, “Thank you,” to me, I nod, and we finish the transaction. The gentleman is next in line.)

Me: “I’m sorry about before, sir, it’s just that we were in the middle of a transaction.”

Man: “Oh, you must be a devil worshiper, then.”

(I am shocked, since I did NOT expect to be accused of being a devil worshiper. I barely know what to say. I see he has a skull cap on and decide to go the Jewish route, since I am Jewish, as well.)

Me: “Sir, I’m not a devil worshiper; I’m Jewish.”

Man: “You are?”

Me: “Yes, I am.”

Man: “Oh, well, that doesn’t make a difference; you could still be a devil worshiper.”

(After going back and forth on this subject for another minute, I gave up and just “yes”ed him to death while finishing the transaction.)

Making The Blood Boil

, , , , , | | Healthy | July 13, 2019

(I am at the blood bank. There are two clinics running simultaneously: one for regular blood tests and another for pregnancy-related blood, linked with the midwife clinic next door. Regular clinic patients have to abide by the ticket system. The midwife patients do not.)

Phlebotomist: “Ms. [My Name], just come through here, please.”

(I stand up to go through to the chair behind the curtain, only to be pushed out of the way by a middle-aged woman.)

Woman: “I’ve been waiting over an hour for a simple blood test and that girl has only been waiting five minutes. You will take my blood now.”

Phlebotomist: “Ma’am. You need to get out of that chair. I can’t take your blood here. You need to wait until you’re called by someone on the other side.”

Woman: “I’m not moving! I’m number 27! I’m next to be called!”

Phlebotomist: “Fair enough. When’s your due date? Have you fasted for two hours for your prenatal diabetes test?”

Woman: “What are you on about? I’m not here for a diabetes check! I’m not pregnant.”

Me: “Well, I am. So get out of that chair!”

Woman: “Well, I never!”

Me: “Lady, this is the midwives’ clinic. You’re in the wrong place!”

Woman: “I’ve been waiting over an hour!

Phlebotomist: “Well, you’re going to have to wait longer than that. Security is here to take you away. Come back another day, when you’ve calmed down.”

(She was escorted out and I got my blood done. Her number was called as I left the waiting room.)

Won’t Give Her Credit For Trying Every Loophole In The Book

, , , , | | Right | July 12, 2019

(A customer comes to my register to make a return, so I begin to scan her items until one of her items doesn’t seem to be found on her receipt.)

Me: “Ma’am, it says that this item is not found in the original transaction. Are you sure you bought all of this together?”

Customer: “Yes, I bought it all together and left it in this same bag and have not touched it since.”

Me: “Well, it seems like the cashier that rang you up the other day didn’t charge you for this.”

Customer: “Oh, wow. Fine. Can you still give me the credit for it?”

(I give her a confused look and can’t believe she is actually asking me to give her money for something she didn’t even pay for.)

Me: “No, ma’am, I’m sorry, but this is not in the receipt, so I can’t just give you money back for it.”

Customer: “You guys give store credit if I don’t have a receipt, right?”

Me: “Yes, ma’am.”

Customer: “Okay.” *takes the receipt and puts it away* “There, I don’t have my receipt; now give me credit.”

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but I know you didn’t pay for it, so I still can’t give you the credit.”

Customer: “What do you mean, you can’t give me the credit?! If I didn’t have my receipt you would have been able to return it, right?!”

Me: “Yes, but you do have your receipt and it shows that you didn’t pay for it; therefore, I cannot give you money or credit for it.”

Customer: “It’s not my fault that your cashier didn’t ring it up for me! I made this purchase and deserve to get this item refunded!”

(She continues to throw a fit about how she was honest about not paying for this item, which she obviously didn’t know about until I pointed it out. A line begins to form so I try to move it along.)

Me: “Okay, ma’am, do you want to speak to my manager?”

Customer: “No! Whatever! I’ll just return this at some other store without the receipt!”

(I gave her back the money for things she’d ACTUALLY paid for and she finally left.)

Page 3/66812345...Last