The Wireless Age Completely Passed Them By

, , , , | Right | November 18, 2017

(I work in a call center helping customers with networking equipment such as routers, range extenders, access points, and more.)

Me: “Thank you for calling [Company] support. What is the product you’re calling about today?”

Customer: “I just want to say, first off, that your products are terrible. I have been trying to set up this stupid extender for six hours now, and I am not a stupid person. I have worked as a technician for 16 years, and I know what I’m doing, but I can’t get this thing to work.”

Me: “I’m sorry to hear you’re having difficulties, sir. I am more than happy to assist you with your setup. First, may I have the model number for your product?”

Customer: “It’s a RAAAANGE EXTEEEEENDER! I already told you this!”

Me: “Yes, I understand, sir, but we have several different models, and I need a unique model number so I know which product you are working with.”

Customer: *groaning sounds* “Fine. It’s [model number].”

Me: “Okay. How far into the setup have you gotten, and what kind of errors are you running into?”

Customer: “I can’t get to the stupid website I need to get to for the setup.”

Me: “Okay, so, you’re having difficulties getting to the networking dashboard. What type of device are you using for the setup?”

Customer: “I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

Me: “Are you using a smartphone, tablet, or computer to access the dashboard?”

Customer: “Computer.”

Me: “Okay, and are you able to see the [device] network and connect to it?”

Customer: “Well, how do I do that?”

Me: *pause* “Pull up your list of available networks on your computer, look for [Network], and then hit, ‘Connect.’ If you can’t see that network just let me know.”

Customer: “How do I pull up a list of networks? This really shouldn’t be such a complicated setup! I have been a technician for 16 years, and I know what I’m doing! I have worked with networking equipment before! Your products are too complicated!”

Me: “I’m sorry you feel that way, sir. Does this computer have Wi-Fi capabilities? Or does it only connect by Ethernet?”

Customer: “Wi-Fi? What’s Ethernet? Look, this is getting ridiculous. I should be able to plug this in and it should just work. I am not stupid, so I know what I’m doing.”

Me: “I never said you were stupid, sir. It needs to be configured to your home network in order to work. The dashboard is built into the device’s IP address, and you need to be connected to the network in order to get to the dashboard. How do you normally connect to a network to get your Internet service on this computer?”

Customer: “I click on the ‘E’ at the bottom of my screen.”

Me: *trying to think of the best way to dumb this down for the customer* “Okay, sir, that is your web browser. Sounds like you use [Browser #1] or [Browser #2]. In order for your Internet to work, your computer needs to be connected to a network.” *attempts to walk customer through how to connect*

Customer: “This is the most ridiculous thing ever. I am not stupid! I have never had so much trouble setting up a product in my life, and I’ve been a technician for 16 years! I am not a stupid person, and I know what I’m doing! This is too complicated. I’m about to throw this thing out a window. You know what? Just forget it! I am returning this stupid piece of crap and getting something that isn’t so complicated from one of your competitors!” *click*

Scrub Yourself Of This Experience

, , , , | Right | November 17, 2017

(I am a dental assistant, and I am stopping by [Store] after work one evening to pick up some cat food when I am flagged down by a woman.)

Woman: “Excuse me!”

Me: “Um, yeah?”

Woman: “Finally! Can you tell me if a curling wand is better than a curling iron?”

Me: “Oh, I’m sorry; I actually don’t work here.”

Woman: *angrily* “Are you lying to me?”

Me: *a bit confused* “No, I actually don’t work here.”

Woman: “Then why are you wearing a [Store] uniform?”

Me: “Oh, these are scrubs; I’m actually a dental assistant. If it helps though, I just bought a curling wand last week and I liked it.”

Woman: “Well, you shouldn’t come to the store dressed as an employee; you’re just confusing everyone!”

Employee: “Is everything okay here?”

Woman: *increasingly angrily* “She’s impersonating an employee! Isn’t there some rule about not wearing the store’s uniform if someone doesn’t work here?”

Employee: *quite confusedly* “Well, she’s wearing blue. We wear red and tan here.”

Woman: *shouting* “Everyone here is so rude!”

(The employee and I exchange looks, and when she’s out of earshot we burst out laughing.)

Employee: “You’re wearing scrubs, for God’s sake! Is she colorblind or something?”

Me: “The worst part is, this happens every time I go shopping in my scrubs. This was just the most… interesting incident.”

Wish They Would Stop Trucking Swearing

, , , , , , , | Right | November 17, 2017

(The mall where I work has construction going on near our store, and the nearest mall door is closed off to customers. There are security guards posted to let construction and mall workers in and out. One of my employees has used the emergency exit in our backroom that opens up into the designated smoking area and the construction area. He returns from his smoke break and opens the door to the backroom to come back to work, followed by someone who shouldn’t be in my backroom. The stranger walks right past me and out of my store.)

Me: “What the…?”

Employee: “He’s a foreman or something for the construction, and the security guards aren’t there to let him in. I just did him a favour.”

Me: “How noble of you, but you know better than to let a random dude from outside into the backroom! If the managers or head office had come in, you’d be in a ton of trouble! No more randoms through the backroom door, understood?”

Employee: “Yeah, I get it. My bad.”

(Ten minutes later, the same random dude walks back into the store.)

Construction Guy: “Can you let me out through there?”

Me: “No, sir. I can’t have non-employees going into the backroom. [Employee] let you in to do you a favour, but I can’t let you exit through there.”

Construction Guy: “Seriously? I’ve already been back there; stop being a d*** and just let me leave. The exit doors won’t open.”

Me: “Yeah, and that was a one-time deal, and a mistake that [Employee] made. But I can’t let you back there again. The security personnel just walked past the store; if you catch up to them, they’ll be more than happy to let you out.”

Construction Guy: “What the f***?! My truck is sitting out there!”

Me: “If you keep being so ridiculously crass in a store full of kids, I’m going to have security remove you. [Employee], call the security office.”

Construction Guy: “F*** YOU, A**HOLE! IF SOMEBODY STEALS MY TRUCK I’LL F****** SUE YOU!”

Me: “You can try, and now I’m going to escort you to the door.” *starts to walk around the counter*

Construction Guy: “Whatever! Hope you have a great day, b****!”

Me: “Thank you; I will. You take care, now.”

(He started to walk out, head turned to continue screaming profanities at me, and promptly walked right into the massive glass window at the front of the store. All the customers started laughing at him as he picked himself up and stormed out, as I chuckled and waved goodbye.)

Let Them Carry On While You Carry

, , , , , | Related | November 17, 2017

(My stepdad is notoriously sexist and has put on a big show about coming outside and actually helping us for once. He and my fiancé are carrying bags of cement into the garage by themselves while my mom and I watch, because we have already cleaned the garage.)

Stepdad: *in a derogatory tone* “What would you women do if we weren’t here to carry this for you?”

(My mom snaps back while I lean close to whisper in my fiancé’s ear.)

Me: “I’m the one who put them in the car.”

Fiancé: *bursts out laughing*

Has Some Serious Bag Baggage, Part 3

, , , , | Right | November 17, 2017

(I live in a county where we charge five cents per bag, so this happens to me about ten times a day. A customer approaches on cell phone.)

Me: “Hello, how are you doing today?”

Customer: *no answer*

Me: “Would you like a bag for your items today?”

Customer: *keeps talking on phone, ignoring me*

Me: *hands their two items to them*

Customer: “I need a bag! How am I supposed to carry all of this?!”

Me: “…”


Has Some Serious Bag Baggage, Part 2
Has Some Serious Bag Baggage

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