It’s An Odyssey Every Time You Need To Explain These Names

, , , , , , | Friendly | June 15, 2018

(My parents are an interesting pair. My dad loves mythology and folklore, while my mom has a soft spot for anything that involves cars. My little sister and I are helping Dad with the shopping.)

Dad: “Let’s see… Eggs, milk, your grandmother’s favorite cookies… Did I forget anything, Calypso?”

Me: “No, I don’t think so. Everything on the list is crossed out.”

Customer: *behind us* “What kind of name is that? Are you some sort of f****** hippie? Couldn’t you give her a normal name?”

Dad: “With all due respect, please mind your own business. Mercedes, sweetheart, can you help me put our things on the belt?”

Sister: “Okay!”

Customer: “Are you one of those annoying posh types? Naming your kids after a car.”

Dad: “It was a name long before it was a car. My mother-in-law loves The Count Of Monte Cristo.”

(The customer kept going like that at the smallest of things. We see him sometimes when we go shopping, but he just gives us the evil eye and doesn’t say a word.)

Wants To Make Their Hot Chocolate Worth Waiting For

, , , , | Right | June 15, 2018

(Our cinema is showing a bunch of old films in the IMAX for a super-reduced price, for one day only, so we’re incredibly busy. Each screening of over 300 seats is practically sold out, so the other person on my area is called downstairs to help with serving. Even with every till on, the queues are 20 to 30 people long, and though they’re doing their best to be quick, there’s a pretty substantial wait in the queue. This is the story my coworker tells me when he gets back.)

Coworker: “Hey there. What can I get you today?”

Customer: “Do you serve hot chocolate here?”

Coworker: “Absolutely. Is that a large?”

Customer: “Oh, don’t worry. I’ll get it upstairs.”

Coworker: *confused* “I can do it here for you no problem.”

Customer: *having just stood in line for at least ten minutes to ask if we serve something* “No, it’s fine. I don’t want to waste your time.”

They Need To Be Sharper With Safety Hazards

, , , , , , | Working | June 15, 2018

(I am looking at some small items on a lower shelf in a craft store, and am therefore leaned over pretty far to get a good look. Suddenly I feel a heavy, sharp blow of the back of my head. Slightly dazed, I look around and see a package has fallen from peg on the shelf above where I was looking. Picking it up, I see it’s a package of several dozen thin sheets of copper-meant for embossing projects; it’s heavy and with a sharp, small edge. I take the package to the front of the store and approach a cashier.)

Me: “Hi, um… This fell off the shelf and hit me in the head…I wanted to tell somebody that you need to hang them differently or something.”

Cashier: *looking at package skeptically* “You’re saying this fell on you?”

Me: “Well, yeah, I was leaning over looking at something. See? It has a hanging tag on it, but a little tag like that couldn’t hold all that weight. It’s ripped in half, see? It ripped off under its own weight and fell.”

Cashier: *blank stare*

Me: “I just think they shouldn’t be displayed like that. Someone could get hurt. I mean, I got hurt, but someone could get really hurt.”

Cashier: “Hey, team lead!”

(The team lead walks over:)

Team Lead: “Is there a problem, ma’am?”

(I repeat the story, holding the package and lightly tapping it on the counter to show that it is, in fact, heavy, sharp sheets of metal. Both the cashier and team lead step back.)

Team Lead: “Ma’am, I’ll get the manager, but you need to calm down!”

(Baffled, I stand there while the cashier glares at me and turns her register light off. There are no other lanes open, and a line is forming. The team lead comes back and stands with the cashier. Neither move to open another lane or ring up any customers. Thinking I’m in the way, I scoot a few steps back.)

Team Lead: “MA’AM! You need to wait here for the manager!”

Me: “Look, I was just trying to tell you guys that there’s a problem. How long do I need to wait?”

(The team lead stomps off and returns with a flushed-looking older man.)

Manager: “Ma’am, I’m sorry you’re upset, but…”

Me: “I’m not upset. I’m just trying to tell you guys you have a safety hazard in your store…” *I repeat the story*

Manager: “And you’re saying that this fell and hit you in the head?”

Me: “Yes.”

Manager: “Are you bleeding?”

Me: “No, just a sore spot…”

Manager: “Do you need me to call an ambulance?”

Me: “No…”

Manager: “Then I’m not sure what you want from me. I’m not giving you that for free.”

(He grabbed the package and stormed off, muttering about me “wasting his time.” Baffled and ticked off, I went about my day. I was in that store again a few weeks later and, of course, they hadn’t moved or changed how they displayed those copper sheets. But there were several on the floor, leaning against the shelves, with the same torn hanging tags as the one that hit me. Here’s hoping no one gets really hurt.)

The Cursive Curse

, , , , | Learning | June 15, 2018

(I am in the second grade, age seven to eight or so, during the mid-seventies. Over the summer my mother, has taught me how to write cursive. I have an older brother, so she knew that later on that year we’d be learning it, so I guess she figured she’d give me a head start. In class I am taking notes. The teacher comes to my desk, sees what I am doing, and tears that page out of my notebook!)

Me: “Why did you do that?”

Teacher: “I haven’t taught that yet!”

(She made me take my notes in print until SHE taught us cursive later in the year.)

Doing A Disservice To Customer Service

, , , , , | Right | June 15, 2018

(I work in a store in the lawn and garden department. I’m on commission, so regardless of how people act towards me, I still try and be as nice as I can to complete a sale. Some people think just because they are in the store, they can get what they want.)

Me: “What can I do for you today, sir?”

Customer: “Yes, I am interested in this patio set. What kind of deal can you make me?”

Me: “Well, it is on a lower sale than it normally is, so it’s already a great deal.”

Customer: “I need something better than that; I’m here and ready to buy.”

Me: “I do happen to have an extra 10%-off coupon that I’m technically not supposed to use, but I’ll give it to you.”

(Note that my boss is “working” near me and is following the whole conversation.)

Customer: “I need more than that, man; you can do better than that.”

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, but that’s the best I can do, and I’m not even supposed to be giving you that extra coupon.”

Customer: “Where is your manager? I bet he can get us a better deal.”

(My boss steps a few feet over to the customer.)

Boss: “Sir, what can I do for you today?”

Customer: “I’m here and ready to buy. What can you do for me?”

Boss: “[My Name], what did you offer him?”

(I say my offer.)

Boss: “Sounds like that’s my offer, too.”

Customer: “You’re telling me that’s all you’re going to do for me?”

Boss: “Yep.”

Customer: “I’m never shopping here again. You guys don’t know customer service.”

Boss: “Okay, I’ll see you next week, sir.”

(He came in next week and bought it for a higher price and no discounts.)

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