Nothing Like Being Part Of The Problem

, , , , , , | Healthy | July 3, 2020

Our office currently prescreens people who come in by asking them pertinent questions and reminding them to wear a mask to their appointment, where we will take their temperature.

Patient: “Hi, my name is [Patient]; I’m here for my 2:00 appointment.”

Me: “Did you bring your mask, ma’am?”

Patient: “I didn’t know I needed one.”

We have her marked as prescreened, so I know she was reminded.

Me: “That’s okay; we have extra masks so I can give you one to wear.”

I hand her one and wait for her to put it on, but she just stands there.

Me: “Ma’am, if you’ll put the mask on, I can continue checking you in.”

The patient makes a face, but puts it on.

Patient: “All my information is the same.”

Me: “Okay, and your cell phone is [number]? Okay, I have you checked in. If you’ll have a seat in your vehicle, a nurse will call you in when we have a room ready.”

Patient: “In my car? You want me to sit outside in my car?”

Me: “Yes, ma’am. We want to limit our lobby to elderly to help against extra contact. We also suggest people call from their vehicles to speed the process and make it easier.”

We would have told her this when we called to prescreen her, as well.

Me: “If you don’t have AC, then we understand if you need to sit in here.”

Patient: “Yes, I have AC!”

She sits down in the lobby anyway, and we get a large influx of people coming in and out for their appointments. At one point, she comes back to the window.

Patient: “How soon is my appointment? I’ve been here for twenty minutes already and there’s been a ton of people going through here.”

Me: “Yes, ma’am, that’s why we suggest patients sit in their vehicles. You have two others in front of you, so if you want to sit out there, we can help you limit your contact with others and call you in when we’re ready, okay?”

She sits down again and waits until it’s her turn to go back, which is almost another thirty minutes later, and only ten minutes past her appointment.

Patient: *As she passes me* “You should have told me you were going to have so many people in the lobby. I didn’t feel safe at all. Next time, tell me to sit in my car.”

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Sadly, The Pharmacy Can’t Cure Impatience

, , | Right | July 2, 2020

I work in the fitting room where I answer incoming phone calls.

Me: “Thank you for calling the Olympia [Store]. How can I help you?”

Customer: “I would like to be transferred to the pharmacy.”

Me: “Let me transfer you to the pharmacy.”

About a minute later, the phone rings back.

Me: “Has the pharmacy not picked up yet?”

Customer: “This is ridiculous! I have been on hold for too long. I want to talk to the pharmacy.”

They were only on hold for less than a minute.

Me: “I’m really sorry, but it looks like they are busy with customers right now. Can I try transferring you again?”

Customer: “This is getting ridiculous! I have to pee.”

I can hear a woman’s voice in the background.

Female Voice: “Can we do this when we get home?”

Customer: “I don’t want you to transfer me; I want to talk to someone in the pharmacy!”

Me: “I’m really sorry, but in order to talk to someone in pharmacy, you have to call the store’s number, talk to the operator, and then I transfer you over to their department.”

Customer: “I just want a number! What is their number?”

I am fed up with this customer’s attitude so I decide to be funny.

Me: “The number for pharmacy is 3299.”

Customer: “Where’re the other numbers?! That’s not a number!”

Me: “You asked for a number, and I already told you that you had to call the store and then talk to me so I could transfer you over to their department. Those numbers I just gave you are the numbers to transfer you over to the pharmacy.”

Customer: “This is ridiculous. I don’t want you to transfer me! I want to talk to someone now.”

After the phone rings back the second time, I realize something is going on with the line, so I have a coworker go over to the pharmacy to let them know I will be putting the phone call on hold.

Me: “Sir, I’m going to put you on hold since it looks like the line isn’t working.”

Customer: *Angry* “This is ridiculous! I have been on hold for too long!”

This has only been going on for about two minutes now.

I talked to the pharmacy about five minutes later to find out that, because they had such horrible reception, they couldn’t hear the guest and ended the call.

Patience is the moral of the story. Apparently, this guy had none!

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Line Creation Aberration

, , , | Right | July 2, 2020

I am waiting in line at a large truck stop and gas station. The station is set up so that one line feeds to all cash registers.

Customer: “Are you waiting in line?”

I look at the line of people behind me.

Me: “Yes, I am.”

Customer: “Well, you’re doing it wrong!”

I am puzzled.

Customer: *Still shouting* “There are two registers, so there are two lines! You’re going to hold up the whole f****** line! No one is going to be able to check out!”

The customer goes up to the customer who is currently checking out at the far register.

Customer: “Look at this stupid b****! I’m not going to be able to check out because she owns the d*** lines!”

The customer turns to me.

Customer: “This is how you do it. See how I’m in line? Now I’ll get served next, and you’ll have to wait! You are going to that register over there!”

The customer stands in a line of her own creation and choosing, while the baffled cashier continues serving the also baffled customer checking out. The cashier at what is now “my” register, says:

Cashier: “May I help the next customer?”

Me: *Approaches register* “I’m so sorry. Last time I was here, there was only one line.”

Cashier: “You’re fine!”

With the transaction complete, I left. The customer was still standing in line, berating the other cashier and customer. Too bad she didn’t stand in the actual line!

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An Analog Ad Blocker

, , | Right | July 2, 2020

I am distributing printed advertisements for the local stores. I am instructed not to put anything into the letterbox when there is a “no ads” sign. I am about to put the ads in a letterbox when a man walks by.

Man: *Unfriendly* “No ads!”

Me: “Okay, but please consider putting a ‘no ads’ sign on your letterbox!”

Man: “Listen, this is my house and my letterbox, and you do as I say!”

Me: “Of course, but it’s hard to remember not to put the ads in your letterbox if there is no sign.”

Man: “That’s why I’m telling you!”

He went back into his house.

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Maybe They’re Too Stupid To Drive

, , | Right | July 2, 2020

I work at a fast food restaurant manning the drive-thru. There are two cars parked up and I am about to take their orders out to them. As I walk through the restaurant. I am confronted by a woman.

Customer: “Is that my food?”

Me: “Did you come round the drive-thru?”

Customer: “Yes!”

Me: “Three [meals]?”

Customer: “Yes, that’s mine!”

The customer snatches the bag and starts walking, and when I notice that there are still two cars parked, I follow her to her car.

Me: “I’m really sorry, but I just need to check your registration to your order.”

Customer: “But it’s my order!”

Me: “I need the receipt, please.”

She reluctantly gives me the receipt and, lo and behold, it isn’t her food.

Me: “When did you go through the drive-thru?”

Customer: “I didn’t! Where’s my food?”

Me: “So, you ordered at the counter?”

Customer: “Yes! And that is my food!”

Me: “I’m sorry, but this is another customer’s order.”

Customer: “So bring me my food, then!”

Me: “I’m sorry, but I have no control over the till orders, so you’ll have to come back inside and get it.”

The customer then comes back in the store, swearing and chuntering loudly, and starts screaming at my manager. Meanwhile, as I am handing the food out to the real customer:

Me: “I’m sorry about that.”

Customer #2: “Oh, it’s fine. It’s my neighbor, who’ve we’ve just reported to the police because she kept leaving s*** in our garden.”

I never saw her again.

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