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There’s Such A Thing As Caring Too Much

, , , , , , , , | Friendly | January 31, 2023

In July 2016, my friend and I were visiting another friend’s house to drop off a birthday present and arrange a birthday celebration dinner for later in the evening.

We just so happened to have a dog with us, a Bichon Frisé by the name of Rocky and, unfortunately, we had to park on the street because there were no visitor stalls.

Upon realizing we didn’t have a leash in the car, I volunteered to stay in the car with the dog so my friend could safely leave the ignition on to run the air conditioning. While he went off and did the tasks we arrived for, I dozed off, only to be awoken by a woman rapping against my window as hard as she could muster with her ring hand.

I wound down the window.

Me: “Can I help you?”

Woman: “You can’t leave a dog in a car like this! How dare you?! I have half a mind to call the police!”

Me: “What? Ma’am, I am in the car with him and the air conditioning is running. Do you not hear the engine?”

Woman: “DON’T SASS ME! THIS IS ANIMAL CRUELTY!”

Me: “The air conditioner is on, ma’am. And I am in the vehicle; the animal isn’t unattended.”

Woman: “IT DOESN’T MATTER!”

Me: “It really does, actually.”

Woman: “What is your name? Where do you live?!”

Me: “Who the h*** are you to be asking me questions like that?”

Woman: “I ASKED YOU A QUESTION!”

Me: “Yeah, and I don’t care.”

I started to wind the window up but she put her hand on it so I released the switch. (I didn’t know if a 2009 Nissan could remove fingers.) 

Woman: “I asked you who you are! I am going to report you for animal cruelty!”

She proceeded to slam her hand on the roof of the car. 

At this point, I opened the door and got out of the car. At six feet even and about 270 pounds, I was far above her size in every measurable sense.

Me: “I suggest you jog on because if anyone is going to call the police, it’s going to be me, and I can guarantee you their response will not be in your favor.”

She stared up at me for a moment before hustling away. 

About twenty minutes later, my friend came back with apologies for taking so long. 

Friend: “Sorry, did I miss anything?”

Me: “Nah.”

A Gross Response To Gross Behavior

, , , , , , | Healthy | January 31, 2023

This story is honestly disgusting. It happened at my husband’s workplace at a liquor store, before the global health crisis. Some of his coworkers smoked. They would leave their cigarette butts in a corner, on the ground, and at the end of the day, one of them would clean up the mess.

There was a middle school about a block away, and a few “brilliant” teenage boys started to notice that some of the cigarettes weren’t fully smoked. They would PICK THEM UP OFF THE GROUND and light them up and smoke them.

They did this a couple of times before my husband caught them in the act and chased them off. He kept tabs on them, and they came by every school day to see if there were any they could salvage. When my husband called the cops, they told him they couldn’t do anything.

After pondering a bit, my husband got an evil idea and set out a sign that said the following:

Sign: “Attention, kids! One of my employees has hepatitis and is one of the smokers here. You need to talk to your parents so they can go get you tested.”

It wasn’t long before he got calls from a couple of angry parents demanding to know why he had “infected [their] little angel[s].”

Hubby simply told them exactly what they had done, smiling an evil little smile the entire time and even offering to show them the camera evidence of the disgusting behavior. The line would go quiet before they thanked him for bringing that to their attention and hung up.

One man even brought his son in to apologize. 

It never ceases to amaze me the things that some dumb teens will do to smoke.

Way Better Than Leaving A Tip

, , , , , , | Right | CREDIT: withouta3 | January 31, 2023

About ten years ago, I was managing an Asian fusion restaurant. It was a weekday and we didn’t have a bartender, so I would handle the bar. Our bar was separate from the dining room, so I would go between, making all the mixed drinks and checking on the servers and kitchen. You know, manager stuff.

A couple sat down at the bar and ordered a couple of drinks and appetizers. I placed the order and made the drinks and then a server had an issue that took me a while to solve. We had a good team there, so another server saw that my apps were up and took them out for me. She then came and found me.

Server: “I took your apps to the bar but the lady looks upset. She said everything was fine, but you might want to check on her.”

“From one problem to another,” I think.

Back at the bar, the man was nowhere to be seen, and the woman was typing angrily on her phone. Her drink, a cosmo, was empty and the man’s was barely touched. The apps were untouched. I prided myself on knowing what my customers wanted before they did, so I started mixing the woman another drink. She put the phone down and asked for another cosmo just as I was garnishing.

Me: “You mean this one?”

And I set it in front of her. She gave me that surprised look that I absolutely loved as a server.

Woman: “He left, didn’t he?”

Me: “I don’t know, but I can find out.”

I did check later and the hostess said he bailed only a few minutes after they got there.

Woman: “You would not believe what that a**hole asked me!”

She then explained that that was supposed to be their first date. They had met through friends and had been talking for some time, but this was the first time for the two of them to go out just the two of them. After hellos, the first thing he did was ask, “Am I getting lucky tonight?” Needless to say, the woman reacted negatively to this. He said he needed to pee and proceeded to leave the building.

Woman: “Can I get another drink?”

Me: “Sure, but you do need to eat.”

It was a slow night, and I figured she could use some company, so I spent most of my time that night in the bar chit-chatting and polishing glasses and such. Eventually, I said something and I saw an abrupt change in her demeanor. Never before had I seen such a clear indication that a woman was interested in me. She was attractive and I was flattered.

She ended up hanging out until closing and having five or six drinks and a full meal in four hours, and she was not a small girl so she was probably feeling pretty good but not drunk.

I called her a cab, and when she left, she asked if I would come by later.

Me: “No, you are ahead of me on the drinks, but here is my number. If you still feel the same way tomorrow, I would love to take you out some time.”

We ended up dating for a year and a half until we had an amicable breakup. We still talk often and are good friends.

This Job May Require Telepathy, Part 9

, , , | Right | January 31, 2023

I was working on character designs for a client and I was given vague descriptions to work with. Since I wasn’t given a lot of detail, I decided to get creative. When I showed it to the client, he got mad.

Client: “No, no, no! He has to look like THIS!”

At that point, he pulled out and showed me a previously commissioned piece of the character.

I’d asked for references several times before this point. I guess he hoped I’d guess right.

Related:
This Job May Require Telepathy, Part 8
This Job May Require Telepathy, Part 7
This Job May Require Telepathy, Part 6
This Job May Require Telepathy, Part 5
This Job May Require Telepathy, Part 4

The Customers That Assume This Are Beyond Number

, , , , , | Right | January 30, 2023

Following a recent redundancy, I’ve taken a job in a supermarket as a cashier to keep an income coming into our family until I find something better. I’m a man in my early thirties. I’m also known for my tendency to be very direct with people who annoy me.

The supermarket where I work offers a rewards card, and cashiers have the ability to look up a customer’s account using their phone number if they don’t have their card.

One particularly quiet day, I’m logged in to my till, standing and watching the few customers we have wandering slowly round the shop. A young woman, who I assume is in her mid-twenties, comes to my till to check out.

Me: “Hi! How are we today?”

She sighs and doesn’t answer. I start scanning her items.

Me: “Do you have a rewards card?”

Customer: *Sighs again* “I forgot it.”

She seems annoyed that she has to talk to me.

Me: “Okay.”

I continue to scan her items. At the end, I look at her and smile.

Me: “Can I have your phone number, please?”

Customer: *Gives me a dirty look* “Okay, two things: one, I already have a boyfriend, and two, even if I didn’t, I wouldn’t be interested in a loser like you! So no, you won’t be getting my phone number. Ever.”

Me: “Okay, three things: one, I’m actually happily married, and I’m not really interested in cheating on my wife, especially not with a random woman in a supermarket. Two, you definitely aren’t my type anyway, and three, I need your phone number so I can look up your rewards account and apply it to your shopping so you can maybe get some discounts.”

She looks at the floor, clearly embarrassed.

Me: “So? Do you want to give me your phone number or not?”

She gives me her phone number, and I look up her account. With her rewards account applied to her shopping, the total drops by a few pounds.

Me: “Okay, that’s [price].”

Wordlessly, she holds up her debit card. I activate the card reader and she taps it.

Me: “Would you like your receipt?”

She shook her head. Silently, and with a face like a bulldog chewing a wasp, she picked up her bag of groceries and stalked off. My manager later told me that the customer tried to complain about me, but since my manager was awesome, it never went anywhere.