Oak-Kay?

, , , , | Right | June 15, 2021

It is the 1990s. A customer walks up to me to ask about a small CRT tube TV table on wheels.

Customer: “Do you have this in black?”

Me: “Usually, but we’re out of stock in black, we should have some next week or so.”

Customer: “What about this box?”

Me: “It’s not black, it’s brown.”

The box says, “Oak,” but it is a cheap imitation of oak.

Customer: “Okay.” *Walks away*

Five minutes later, he reappears with hate in his eyes, telling me that I lied to him. I really don’t understand what he is talking about. So, he goes to the clean, pristine, factory-sealed box of the “oak” version of the table, opens it, pulls out a plank, and shows it to me.

With an open box, there are going to be about forty customers asking for a discount on that piece of already inexpensive furniture right after this idiot, so I’m not happy.

Customer: *Angrily* “You said this was brown. It’s oak!”

Me: “Didn’t you want black?”

Customer: “Yes!”

Me: “Then what does it matter that I wasn’t precise?”

Customer: “You lied! It isn’t brown, it’s oak.”

Me: “What is oak?”

Customer: “What do you mean?”

Me: “Well, oak is wood, right?”

Customer: “Yes.”

Me: “Generally speaking, what color is wood?”

Customer: “Brown!”

Me: “Well, if oak is wood and wood is brown, and you want black…”

Customer: “It’s not brown, it’s oak!”

This particularly idiotic customer left with a profoundly bewildered look on his face.

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Starving To Finish A Sentence

, , | Right | June 15, 2021

I work at a fast food place in a theme park. A woman holds up the line because she is demanding that we assemble food for her daughter, which we aren’t allowed to do because we go by a menu.

Customer: “My daughter can’t have that.”

Me: “Sorry, ma’am. If you want a wider selection, you can—”

Customer: “Well, what can you do for me?”

Me: “Like I was saying, ma’am, we have a larger restaurant that—”

Customer: “Do you want her to starve?”

Me: “No, ma’am, but she might if you do not let me finish.”

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She’s Parking Mad

, , | Right | June 15, 2021

I work in a dentist’s office, mostly booking appointments. I have a mum on the line, telling me she is bringing her autistic son to an appointment.

Mum: “Is there parking?”

Me: “There is opposite us, but it can get full quite quickly.”

About two weeks later, her son’s appointment comes up. She doesn’t turn up, but ten minutes later, she calls.

Mum: “We can’t make the appointment. I was promised parking but no parking was available.”

Me: “Ma’am, you were not promised parking.”

It turns out she drove past the clinic, couldn’t find a driving spot, and drove to the other side of the city, to park, to call to cancel!

Mum: “You lied to me. How dare you do this to my autistic son?! I want to make a complaint as you’re discriminating.”

Me: “I’m sorry that you feel offended.”

Mum: “That’s not an apology. I want an apology.”

Me: “I will not apologise for not living up to a promise that was not made.”

Mum: “I want your manager’s name. You need to go on a customer support course!”

She hung up. Never heard from her or my manager.

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No Toilet Paper But Plenty Of Bulls***

, , , | Right | CREDIT: the_Heeter | June 15, 2021

I work at a sort of small grocery store with just ten aisles and a produce section. We have no stock tonight thanks to our trucks all being delayed or rerouted. I’m mopping in our canned goods section. A woman comes up to me in a huff.

Customer: *Rudely* “Hey! I’ve been looking all over the store for toilet paper, and I can’t find any.”

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but we are completely out of toilet paper. If you really need it, you can check at [Store #1] or [Store #2] to see if they have any.”

Customer: “I already went there; they didn’t have any. They said you did, so where is it on the shelves?”

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but they must have told you wrong. We don’t have any and haven’t for a day or two.”

Customer: *Scoffs* “Impossible! Go and check the back. I’ll wait right here.”

So, I smile and plod to the back to be greeted with the empty room where our stock pallets normally are. I wait a couple of seconds and then turn around and go back to the customer.

Customer: “Well, where is it? I need [Brand] in twenty-four packs.”

Me: “Again, ma’am, I’m sorry, but we don’t have any toilet paper. I don’t know when we will get more in. Our trucks are being delayed, and furthermore, much of our product is on backorder.”

Customer: “Well, I still need [Brand], so…”

I stand there, smiling awkwardly, wanting her to just leave.

Customer: “You’re not going to go get it?”

Me: “I just said we don’t have any. I’m sorry, ma’am, but you’ll have to come back another time.”

Customer: “You can’t be serious! This is the only day I have to shop!”

Me: “Sorry, but we just don’t have any mo—”

Customer: *Cutting me off* “Stop giving me that excuse! Where is it?”

Me: “Fine. It’s a few sections over, middle shelf on the left. Good luck.”

Customer: “Finally, thank you! I’ll just get it myself.”

She then walked away as I went back to cleaning my section. For a moment, there was silence, then an exasperated gasp, and then quick footsteps approaching me. I braced myself, and as she rounded the corner, I strained to wear my best smile.

Customer: “I can’t believe you, telling me wrong! I’ll just take my business elsewhere!”

She then stormed out of the building, and I haven’t seen her since, thank goodness.

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Not In Line And Out Of Line, Part 5

, , , , | Right | June 14, 2021

We’re on holiday in Austria, and as the weather is grey and rainy, we decide to hit a mall and do some shopping. My fiancé and I are in a clothing store, waiting to check out. In this store, there is only one queue, zigzagging through some impulse-item shelves, and whenever a register becomes available, the first person in line is called ahead.

The store is quite busy, and we’re standing just outside of the shelves with some people already forming a line between the regular aisles. Some middle-aged woman huffs at the younger woman with her.

Middle-Aged Woman: “I’m not going to wait in line!”

And she swiftly moves to the register near the exit of the row. She even calls the younger woman over.

Middle-Aged Woman: “This way, we’ll be able to leave here sooner and go on to the next store!”

Slightly embarrassed, the younger woman stays in the line.

Younger Woman: “I’m fine with waiting here.”

My fiancé, who is not one to speak out quickly and also doesn’t speak German very well, gets extremely irritated and keeps an eye on the lady. As I’m not a fan of confrontation either, I decide to wait until the cashier notices what the woman is trying to do.

As soon as the cashier finishes up her customer, the woman jumps up to the register and throws down some clothing to check out. Luckily, the cashier is very firm.

Cashier: “You will have to get in line if you want to buy these clothes.”

She turned around to rejoin the line, which had grown by four more people by now. The people around us were snickering when she sheepishly got behind the last person and waited her turn.

Related:
Not In Line And Out Of Line, Part 4
Not In Line And Out Of Line, Part 3
Not In Line And Out Of Line, Part 2
Not In Line And Out Of Line

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