Bi-Pretzel Disorder

, , , , | Right | February 19, 2019

(I’m working the chocolate display case in a candy store when a woman approaches me.)

Customer: “How much are the chocolate pretzels?”

Me: *speaking normally* “Well, they’re sold by weight, but they’re usually around two or three dollars.”

Customer: *angrily* “Well, sorry to bother you!”

(I try to process what just happened while the woman walks over to my coworker.)

Woman: “How much are the chocolate pretzels?”

Coworker: “They’re sold by weight, usually around two or three dollars.”

Woman: “Thank you. I’ll have some!”

(To this day I still don’t understand how I offended her.)

H2-So Much!

, , , , | Right | February 19, 2019

(I’m a manager at a small regional chain of takeout- and delivery-only pizza parlors. I’m manning the till one night as this exchange happens:)

Customer: “Carryout for [Customer].”

Me: “Sure thing. One large three-topping pizza. Sausage, bacon, and black olives.”

Customer: “That’s right.”

(At the till, we sell single cans of pop and bottles of water, with the prices clearly marked. Because pop is in higher demand and we sell a lot of it, our supplier gives us a small discount, and it ends up being two cents cheaper per can versus a bottle of water.)

Me: “Would you like to add any drinks to your order?”

Customer: “Sure, let me have one Coke, one Sprite, and a bottle of water.”

Me: “All right, one large three-topping, two cans of pop, and a water. Your total comes to $19.72.”

(The transaction has been pleasant up until this point. The customer pays and looks at her receipt.)

Customer: “You overcharged me for the water! The bottle of water is more expensive than the cans of pop!”

Me: *trying to keep the mood light-hearted* “I know it’s crazy, but we get a small discount from our supplier for the pop, because we sell so much of it, so we can sell it two cents cheaper versus the water.”

Customer: “Are you kidding me?! That is so wrong! Water is a basic human right, not to mention the healthier choice, and you’re charging me more for it.”

Me: “I don’t know what to tell you. The markup percentage is the same, so we’re not making any more money on the water than we are the pop.”

Customer: “This is ridiculous! I’m calling the Better Business Bureau! I don’t think what you are doing here is even legal!”

(The customer stormed out, leaving behind her pizza and drinks, which she’d paid for.)

They’re A Sandwich Shy Of A Picnic

, , , | Right | February 18, 2019

(I am working at a sandwich restaurant with just one other person, and we have about fifteen customers. I’m having to put veggies on customers’ orders and work the till. I’ve just rung out four customers when I wash my hands and put on gloves to start with veggies.)

Me: *while putting on gloves* “Hi. What veggies can I get on your sandwich?”

Customer #1: “Lettuce, pickle, and mayo.”

Me: “All right. Is that it for you today?”

Customer #1: “LETTUCE, PICKLE, AND MAYO!”

Me: “Yeah, I got that. Is that it for you today?”

Customer #1: “Oh… Yeah, that’s it.”

Me: *moves on to the next customer* “Any lettuce or tomato?”

Customer #2: “Lettuce, tomato, pickles, and mayo, please.”

(I finish both orders and wrap them up. I’ve just taken off my gloves to ring them up.)

Customer #1: “No, she and I are not together; don’t add her to my total!”

Me: *internally facepalms* “Yes, ma’am, I know this.”

Customer #1: “SHE AND I ARE NOT TOGETHER!”

Me: “I KNOW! Your total is $6.54. Your order is in front of you. Hers is off to the side here. So, stop trying to grab both, or I will charge you for hers, too.”

Customer #1: *quietly swipes card*

Engineering Some Lies

, , , | Right | February 18, 2019

(I work in a hotel. A female customer has called and told me that there is no hot water. It is two am and I’m by myself. I tell her that I will go and see what I can do and call her back. I take ten minutes to go to the mechanical room and try different things. Nothing works. I then call the engineer and leave a voicemail. When I return to the front desk again, the phone rings. The caller ID shows an outside line, meaning it’s not from a room.)

Me: *hotel greeting*

Caller: *shouting* “Hello! What’s going on?!”

(I’ve never spoken to the engineer before, so I think this is him. But just to make sure…)

Me: “Is this the engineer?”

Caller: “Yes, it is! You never called me!”

Me: *confused* “I just did?”

Caller: “No! You didn’t! Now tell me what’s going on!”

Me: *brain reboot* “There have been multiple complaints about the hot water. I’m by myself and don’t know what to do.”

Caller: *silent*

Me: “Do you have any ideas?”

Caller: *sighs* “I’m not the engineer. I’m a guest staying there! I’m getting married!”

Me: *shocked and angry now* “What the…? You just said—“

Caller: “Never mind that!”

(Unfortunately, I did mind. I don’t like any liars, even if they are customers, so I didn’t help him. There was nothing I could do, anyway, since I was just a clerk. I just told him that the engineer had been called. The caller threatened me with bodily harm and then hung up. The next day, the manager blamed me for the customer being upset about me not calling him back. I guess the female customer from before was the fiancée, but who knows. I left shortly after. How liars find mates is beyond me. I wish the customer all the bad luck in the world for being a dirty, tricky liar, and I hope his pants fall down at his wedding.)

They Need Some Serious Help

, , , | Right | February 17, 2019

(I am a customer at my local pet supply shop. They’re currently undergoing renovations to their building, so the aisles are pushed a bit closer together than usual, and a lot of things are out of stock. On my way through the store, I encounter two women blocking access to the aisle I need, both standing with fairly aggressive body language: arms crossed, feet planted, and big scowls on their faces. I excuse myself to get past them to the items I want to buy, and end up lingering a while because the stock is out of order, and I have to dig a bit to find what I want. Despite renovations and disorderly stock, the shop is well-staffed due to it being a weekend. [Employee #1] near me is helping a couple with questions about cat food. Several other employees are walking the floor or working at the registers.)

Employee #2: *approaching the two women blocking the aisle* “G’day, ladies. Can I help you find anything?”

Woman #1: *snorts*

Woman #2: “No, we’re fine.”

Employee #2: “Okay, just let me know if you have any questions!”

(Less than five minutes pass, and the women are still standing in the same spot. I’ve mostly ignored them, because I assumed they were with the couple being helped by [Employee #1], and I’m busy with my own shopping.)

Employee #3: “Good afternoon! Can I help you with anything today?”

Woman #1: *snappishly* “No.”

Woman #2: “We’re fine.”

Employee #3: “Okay! If you need anything, just let us know.”

(Just at the end of this exchange, I’m about ready to check out. I start to excuse myself past the women a second time, as that’s really the only way I can get out of the aisle. Before I can do so, [Employee #1] finishes up with the couple she was helping, and turns to the two women from the next aisle over.)

Employee #1: “Good afternoon! Are you finding everything all right?”

Woman #2: *exaggerated sigh* “FINALLY!”

Woman #1: “We’ve been waiting at least thirty minutes! This is absolutely disgraceful! You’d think your store didn’t care about paying customers, the way we’ve had to wait!”

Employee #1: *looking a bit baffled* “I’m sorry to have made you wai—“

Woman #1: “Don’t natter; just help us, right?”

(They then led her across the store to the aquatic department, where no fewer than two other employees were currently trying to tidy stock. Why they needed someone from the cat and dog food department to show them something in the fish section is beyond me.)

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