The online company I work for has up to 100 days for a regular return of all unused and undamaged articles you order from us. Quite a simple rule. It’s written almost everywhere on our website.

This customer recently returned articles from six or seven different orders, where the youngest order was made in November 2020. We’re now in April 2021. 

The oldest order in the return was made in 2018.

I was lost for words when the customer asked when they would get their money back. They sounded surprised when I told them about the 100-day policy and that I couldn’t guarantee that they would get any refund at all.

Related:
Refunder Blunder, Part 56
Refunder Blunder, Part 55
Refunder Blunder, Part 54
Refunder Blunder, Part 53
Refunder Blunder, Part 52

I work at customer service doing returns. I’ve encountered a woman multiple times who bought plates online only to have to return them to the store because they were broken in transit.

Me: “Ma’am, can I be perfectly honest here? This is the fifth time I’ve seen you return these plates. I don’t think it is in your best interest to purchase them online again if the delivery people continue to mishandle them.”

Customer: “But I really like the design and the only store that has them in stock is so far away!”

Me: “But have you factored in the gas and mileage you’ve wasted by driving here multiple times? You could just go once and get it out of the way.”

Customer: “No, I’m just going to reorder them again.”

In my head, I said, “See you soon,” and sure enough, I had to return the plates four more times before I think she finally got the hint and just made the drive to purchase them in-store or just went with a different style.

I run a store selling things like buttons, stickers, and shirts. I frequently set up at conventions, and typically, I bring a friend to help me run my booth. At this particular event, I’ve left my friend in charge while I run to get us food. When I come back, a woman is arguing with my friend.

Customer: “No, you have to give me my money!”

Friend: “Ma’am, I’m not the booth owner—”

Me: “Woah, what’s going on?”

Customer: “Butt out, b****!”

Friend: “Ma’am, that’s the owner and artist.”

The woman turns to me.

Customer: “I want a refund. I got one of your s***ty shirts and it fell apart before I could get home!”

I’m already suspicious, since I use pretty high-quality shirts, and I haven’t seen this woman before.

Me: “Did you get a receipt?”

Customer: “No, I paid cash!”

Me: “That’s okay, I record all my cash sales, too. Do you know which shirt you got and about when?”

Customer: “It was this one, and I bought it when the vendor hall opened today!”

She points to a design I have on display. I immediately cross my arms and look right at her.

Me: “Ma’am, it’s probably best you leave.”

Customer: “What?! I want my refund!”

Me: “You’re not getting s*** from me. Take your scam and leave.”

Customer: “I want my f****** refund!”

Me: “I’m not refunding you for something you never bought!”

Customer: “How do you know I didn’t buy it?!”

Me: “Because that design is brand-new and hasn’t had any sales yet.”

The woman starts SCREECHING and reaches for me. I dodge her and go and hide behind my table. She then starts to rip apart my display board of buttons.

Me: “MA’AM! I’M CALLING SECURITY!”

Other Person: “No need.”

I looked, and one of my booth neighbors had already brought security over. He had seen her arguing with my friend and got a weird feeling, so he went ahead and grabbed security. They were only going to kick her out, but she started screaming at them and trying to assault them. She ended up arrested.

Luckily, only a couple of buttons were damaged, and not bad enough to take off my display. I offered my booth neighbor a free shirt as a thank you… and he chose the design the woman claimed to have bought.

This one particular brand of product has a 100% money-back guarantee, no questions asked. We have a woman who constantly takes advantage of this by buying a bottle and then pocketing half the product and returning it, claiming she isn’t satisfied. And sadly, even though we argue this with the brand, they force us to keep the policy or lose the line.

Customer: “I need something to help me lose weight and I only want it in [Brand].”

My coworker rolls her eyes, knowing where this is going. She helps her pick something out, and I ring her out. A mere TWO HOURS later, guess who comes strolling through the door holding a half-empty bottle?

Customer: “I want to return these; they didn’t work.”

Me: “So you didn’t lose any weight… in two hours?”

Customer: “Yes!”

I pick up the bottle and notice it’s — of course — half empty.

Me: “Did you take half this bottle in the last two hours?”

Customer: *Obviously lying* “Yes, I did, and it still didn’t work!”

This is when Ephedra is still allowed in weight loss products.

Me: “You should probably be at a hospital, ma’am!”

Customer: *Getting angry* “I’m fine! Just give me my money back!”

Not long after, the brand finally realized what a nightmare their policy was. After the woman started getting very angry and was caught trying to steal, we were allowed to ban her. The day she tried coming into the store and I got to tell her to get the h*** out was soooo satisfying.

I am sixteen, working at a hardware store return desk. At the return counter, we stand under a soul-sucking sign that states in bold letters that if the customer is not satisfied with their purchase for any reason, we will exchange or refund the price of the item. No lifesaving asterisk… no exceptions.

My favorite customer was a man that, over the course of four years, came in every few months to return a flashlight pack (that came with batteries) which he bought to use for work. He would use it until the batteries died and then bring it in and exchange it for a new flashlight with batteries. If we even tried to talk to him about it, a high-pitched “FOR ANY REASON!” screech would reverberate through the entire store… and I would just hand him a new flashlight.

He single-handedly brought that sign down. Great man.