That’s Some Quality Freemium Content Right There

, , , , | Right | June 18, 2020

I am looking at forums for a free-to-play game I am enjoying and I come across a customer complaint that is just too good not to share.

Complaint: “I have spent $1000 on this game. Obviously, I really like it. However, I do not feel that I got any positive utilities out of my purchases, enjoyment or otherwise. Therefore, I request a full refund of everything I have spent on this game.”

I should clarify that the game is not “pay-to-win” or even multiplayer. Paying real money only gives you the ability to speed up various things in the game and gain in-game currency faster.

He went on to say over and over in the comments how surprised he was that he wasn’t getting his refund.

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That Fifty Cents Will Come In Handy

, , , , , | Working | June 12, 2020

(I just bought some drinks and food at the concession and paid using debit. The cashier is clearly new; if it isn’t his first day, then certainly his first week.)

Cashier: “I’m sorry, I forgot your coupon, but I have to give you the difference in cash as we cannot refund the money to your card.”

Me: “That’s fine.”

(The coupon was for 50 cents off and the cashier starts to count out the money. I’m staring at my hand, holding the money.)

Me: “That’s not right.”

Cashier: “But we cannot refund to your card.”

Me: “I know and I accept that, but it doesn’t make this right.”

(We go over it a few times and I think the mistake is obvious but no. A manager gets involved.)

Manager: “Ma’am, we cannot return the money to your debit; we have to give you cash.”

Me: *sighs* “I know and I am fine with the cash return, but would you please check my hand?”

(The manager did so and he looked startled. He took — more like grabbed — all the cash except for the 50 cents back. The young cashier had me refunded all of my ticket, except for the 50 cents, and we went to see our movie without so much as a thank-you.)

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That’s Code For “Nothing Is Wrong”

, , , , | Right | June 3, 2020

I’m working at a popular video game store during the holidays. Obviously, any digital content cannot be returned, since we can’t guarantee the code hasn’t been used.

A dad and his eight-year-old come in with a case for a hugely popular online game, which actually only has a digital code.

Me: “Hi. How can I help you?”

Dad: “Yeah, we need to return this.” 

Me: “Well, we can’t return it since it’s digital, but I can see what I can do for you.”

Dad: “You need to return it. It doesn’t work.”

Me: “Well, is it giving you any error?”

Dad: “Yeah, it’s a bunch of gibberish. I want my money back.”

Me: “Well, usually, looking up the error code will help, though it also gives a basic description of what the error is.”

Dad: “It says something about a connection. I just wanna return it.”

I flag down my manager since I can tell this guy won’t budge.

Me: “Unfortunately, we cannot refund digital content. We can help you troubleshoot the issue and give you the number for [Console Company]’s support line, but we cannot refund you.”

Dad: “This is bulls***! I bought it here and it doesn’t work!”

Manager: “Sir, we’re going to ask that you watch your language. My employee is right; since the issue is in the console or your connection, there’s nothing we can do other than offer a support number.”

Dad: “Well, I already called. They said because my kid forgot his account password, they can only send a reset email. I never got it.”

Manager: “That’s still an issue beyond us, and there isn’t an issue with the code you bought, so we cannot return it.”

Dad: “F*** you guys!” *Storms out*

My manager looks at me.

Manager: “I’m willing to bet the guy just doesn’t want to admit his kid’s dumb as s*** and forgot his password.”

Me: “That, or he used the code and is trying to scam us.”

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Their Brain Shut Down Along With The Power

, , , , , | Right | June 3, 2020

I’m working at the service desk when a customer walks up and sets down an Uninterruptible Power Supply, a type of surge protector that holds a small charge so your electronics don’t instantly shut off during a blackout.

Me: “What can I do for you, ma’am?”

Customer: “Hi. I bought this thing two weeks ago, and it barely worked at all, so I’d like to get a refund.”

She presents a receipt.

Me: “Of course. May I ask exactly what went wrong?”

Customer: “The power went out last night while I was playing a game on my computer. I figured the thing would last a few hours at least, so ignored it and kept playing. Then, my computer died like twenty minutes later! I think I got a faulty system.”

I take a second to carefully consider my words so I won’t come off as condescending.

Me: “Ah, I get it. Sorry, ma’am, but the UPS isn’t designed to hold such a big charge for a very long time; something as powerful as a computer will drain it rather quickly.”

Customer: *Frustrated* “Why not? What’s the point of having a UPS that’s only good for a few minutes?”

Me: “It’s to give you enough time to safely shut down your system, preventing data corruption.”

She gawked at me for a moment, facepalmed, and then grumbled an apology before walking away with her UPS, red with embarrassment. At least I was able to teach her something new!


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You Might Have To Use More Than Ten Percent Of Your Brain Cells

, , , , , , | Working | June 2, 2020

My partner bought a pair of new walking boots but they’re a bit on the small size so I take them — with the receipt — back to the shop to get them swapped for the next size up.

Clerk: “Yes, that’s no problem but there might be some extra to pay.”

I try to remember if they were on sale.

Clerk: “Because you used an armed forces discount on these and the trainers you bought, there’ll be a lower amount of discount on just these.”

I must look blank because she continues to try and explain.

Clerk: “See here, you bought these at £42 and a pair of trainers at £35, so you got a £7.70 armed forces discount. Because you’re only returning the boots, it’ll be less discount so you might have to pay more than £42.”

I realise that trying to explain that 10% is always going to be 10% is probably a waste of my time, oxygen, and patience.

Me: “That’s fine. Just ring it up and see how it comes out.”

The clerk rings up the exchange.

Clerk: “Oh… it came out the same.”

I smiled, took the receipt, and left before my remaining brain cells could commit suicide. The kicker is that I actually have mild dyscalculia and struggle with basic maths, but even I know that 10% is, in fact, always 10%.

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