Pizza: It Can Save Lives

, , , , , , , , , | Friendly | February 1, 2020

I had a doctor’s appointment because I have depression. My life is currently pretty bad, as I am unemployed, without a car, and am basically mooching off my parents — who have split, mind you — for money. It’s a rainy, very gray day. I’m staying at my aunt and uncle’s house, and I haven’t eaten anything since breakfast. I’m hungry but won’t eat anything just because I don’t feel like it and I think of it as imposing on my aunt and uncle.

So, I have enough money to get the bus to go to the doctor, and my stomach is feeling incredibly empty. I’m absolutely regretting having not gotten something to eat because of my own stupidity and start thinking that maybe things would be better if I was dead. In other words, I am having a major depressive episode. I signal to get off the bus, only the stop I get off at is a short walk from the one in front of the doctor’s office, the one I had wanted to get off at. I’m now walking in the rain, mentally berating myself for having screwed up, when a guy comes by on his bike.

He’s got a pizza box and asks if I’m hungry. My first instinct is to say no, but then I stop and say yes. I take one slice of pizza and eat away, turning down his offer for more out of mere politeness. He even offers me the whole box but I still say no. One slice is enough. The guy informs me that he has done his good deed for the day and says, “God bless,” before riding off on his bike.

That guy completely changed me. That one man who offered me pizza when I was starving and feeling like my life wasn’t worth living gave me something precious: hope. He cared enough to make sure someone like me got something to eat because it was the right thing to do. Even now, thinking about it, I feel like crying that anyone could care that much as to help a random stranger at a bus stop. I’ve never seen this guy again, but I will always remember Pizza Bike Guy, who might have saved my life with one selfless act.

1 Thumbs

A Grade A-Cup Idiot

, , , , , | Working | January 30, 2020

(I’ve lost a lot of weight recently and, as well as losing it off the places you’d like to lose it, I’ve obviously lost weight from my chest, too. I don’t mind much as I’m just happy to be at a healthier weight for the first time in ages, so I decide to treat myself to a new bra. I’m wearing an E cup at the moment, and I’m expecting to have gone down to a C but in a smaller band. A friend comes with me, and she’s trying on her own bra while I’m being fitted by an attendant.)

Attendant: “Wow, this bra is way too big!”

Me: “Yes, it used to fit, but I’ve lost a lot of weight so I really need a new one in the right size.”

Attendant: “But it’s way too big, this is nothing like your size!”

Me: “Yes, I know. I’ve lost a lot of weight; that’s why I need you to do a new fitting.”

Attendant: “But it’s huge! Look at all the space in there! You’re not an E cup at all!”

(I won’t bore you to read it, but this exchange repeats three more times before she measures me very roughly and goes off to get a couple of bras. The first one I try on is a C cup.)

Me: “Oh, yes, this is much better. Thank you. That feels pretty comfortable.”

Attendant: “No, no, no! That’s far too big! There are gaps all around the top! Try this B cup.”

(I’m surprised, because it seems like a pretty good fit already and I’ve been wearing bras since I was nine, so I’m fairly used to how they should look, but she’s the expert, so I try on the smaller size)

Me: “Hmm, it’s kind of digging in around the top. See where it’s spilling over here?”

Attendant: “No! This is still too big! See, it’s all empty here.”

(There’s nothing empty about it; I’ve got no idea what she’s on about.)

Attendant: “This is how you ended up in such a huge bra; you really should have come for a fitting before.”

Me: “That bra was fitted, but it was before I lost weight.”

Attendant: “So you keep saying, but it was huge! Okay, try the A cup on.

Me: “The A cup will be way too small; the B is already digging in.”

Attendant: “No, this is too big. Honestly, you need to accept that you’ve got small boobs; it’s not a big deal. So many people come in here thinking they’ve got these huge boobs but they just don’t. Your boobs are small. You just need to deal with it and find a bra that fits.”

Me: “I don’t care what my bra size is. I just want something comfortable, and this is digging in.”

Attendant: “It is not digging in. Just face it: you’re not a DD or whatever size you want to be. If you ever were, you’re not now. Try the A cup on; it will fit you a lot better.”

(I’m still a UK size 12/US size 8 and haven’t been an A cup except in training bras so I know she’s wrong, but I figure the only way to show her how ridiculous an A cup would look on me is to try it on, so I do. The bra is so tight and uncomfortable that it’s leaving red marks immediately and my chest feels so uncomfortable that I’m almost in tears.) 

Attendant: “You see? That’s so much better!”

Me: “What?! Look at these marks! It’s cutting in on the top, on the sides, everywhere! It doesn’t fit at all.”

Attendant: “You’re just in denial. You don’t have big boobs!”

(My friend has heard some of the noise and comes in as the attendant goes out. I can just hear something along the lines of “see if you can get any sense into her.”)

Friend: “Woah! That looks really painful.”

Me: “It is! She wouldn’t listen!”

(I’m actually crying by now, so she helps me get it off and we both grab our stuff and leave. As we go, the attendant shouts after us, into a crowded shop, “You just need to accept that you’ve got small boobs!” Everyone is staring and I’m mortified. We get a drink, and once I’ve calmed down we go to a different store.)

Friend: “Want to get another fitting or just try stuff on?”

Me: “I still feel like I should get it fitted properly, but…”

(I’m still a bit upset, so my friend gives the new attendant the shorthand of what happened and she looks shocked and stares at my chest for a long few seconds.)

New Store Attendant: “She thought those were an A cup?!”

(That made me laugh enough to carry on, and I ended up getting a bunch of new bras — as expected, in a C cup. We complained to the first store the next day, and when the manager finally called back she said that all of the staff were denying anything had happened and said the reason that the girl shouted after us as we rushed out was because she caught us stealing. The manager was very angry at us and didn’t believe anything we were saying. We left a bad review on their Facebook page, but otherwise, there wasn’t much we could do except never go back and warn our other friends, of course.)

1 Thumbs

This Doctor Is Not The Antibiotic Cream Of The Crop

, , , , | Healthy | January 30, 2020

(I go to the doctor due to fainting.)

Doctor: “Have you ever had eczema?”

(Eczema is a dry skin condition and cannot cause fainting.)

Me: “Yes, but not for years and I don’t currently have it.”

Doctor: “It’s just eczema; take cream and you’ll be fine.”

Me: “But why am I collapsing?”

Doctor: “You’ll be fine; just put antibiotic cream on.”

(Three hours later, I collapsed and hit my head, ending up in A&E. It turns out I’m epileptic.)

1 Thumbs

We’re Against Standing Up, Personally

, , , , | Learning | January 29, 2020

(My student comes in with a knee brace and crutches. I ask her what happened.)

Student: “Well, I stood up… and… it all just went downhill from there.”

1 Thumbs

Cash In Her Parenting Rights

, , , , | Right | January 28, 2020

(I work in a movie theater. Due to an issue at the exchange where card payments are processed, we are unable to take cards as payment. All the doors to the site have had signs posted about this and some signs have been put on the tills, too. It’s a school day in winter.)

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but we can only take cash right now.”

Customer: “Are you telling me that I have to take my sick child back into the cold to fetch cash?!”

Me: “I’m sorry, but the problem is on the end of the service that the entire company uses; we are waiting for word from head office that the situation is resolved.”

(Seriously, though, lady, if your child is too sick to go to school, why are you taking him to see a film?)

1 Thumbs