Footloose With The Treatment

, , , , | Right | August 9, 2017

My aunt & uncle, both doctors, moved to rural Kentucky when they sold their practice and retired.

Since medical care is spotty in their area my aunt volunteers to make home visits to check on patients as support for local physicians.

One female patient in particular had been told to rest after surgery; when my aunt arrives the patient is bustling around the house, contrary to doctor’s orders.

When it was mentioned that she was supposed to be off her feet; apparently she had misunderstood the doctors orders of not putting your feet on the ground, as she replied “But I haven’t been outside all day!”

The Cult Of The Living Skull

, , , | Learning | August 9, 2017

(My friend works as an anthropologist at a university.)

Friend: “Funny story; I was glancing through our skull models and apparently we have the cast of Charles Manson’s skull in our collection? I just thought that was an odd choice.”

(Friend thinks for a moment…)

Friend: “Or wait, maybe it’s Charles Mason. That would make more sense.”

Me: “Charles Manson isn’t dead, so I hope not.”

Friend: “That’s why I was confused. Must have been the English astronomer, then.”

Their Common Sense Is Disabled

, , , , | Working | August 8, 2017

(This has happened at least once with each of my managers and a couple coworkers when my mother has come to pick me up from work.)

Manager: *sees my mum parked in the disability car spot* “Why is your mum parked in the disability spot? She can’t park there!”

Me: “Um, yes, she can.”

Manager: “She can only park there if she has a disability!”

Me: “Yeah, pretty sure the disability sticker in her windscreen and the fact she can’t walk unassisted means she can park there.”

(Which is often followed by them suddenly very busy tidying or intently inspecting something nearby.)

It Takes A True Man

, , , , | Friendly | August 8, 2017

(I’m at the store picking up feminine products, but also get a couple groceries and other random items. At this time of day only self checkout is open and just as I get to the lane they’re all suddenly filled up by men. One of the guys getting in line sees me and blushes.)

Man: “Miss, you can go ahead of me!”

Me: “Oh, thanks, but I have more things than you.”

Man: “No, no, I insist. Please go ahead.”

Me: “Oh, well, thank you. That’s really nice of you.” *steps in front of him*

(The guy in front of me turned to put his things on the conveyor belt and saw me. He too insisted I go ahead. I was baffled by the fact that two gentlemen had insisted I go ahead until I scanned the feminine products and it clicked. I was amused but very embarrassed.)

It’s Easy Now But In Nine Months Is The Real Test

, , , | Learning | August 4, 2017

(In a biology class, in order to learn about genetics, we each get a set of paper “chromosomes” and pair up to combine them and simulate a child.)

Teacher: “Are you ready to make babies?”

Friend: “That sounds so wrong.”

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