That Conversation Was A Trip

As a manager at a fast food chain, I was talking to myself, working out who would go to what station during the upcoming rush.

A young new hire suddenly confronted me.

New Hire: “The voices aren’t real. You shouldn’t talk back to them. I took bad acid and have been hearing voices ever since. I almost got sent to a mental hospital until I realized I shouldn’t reply unless I actually see the person talking. It’s better to not reply to someone talking behind you than to reply to someone who isn’t there at all. I’m so happy to find someone like me!”

Mind you, this was all said as one continuous sentence, and it wasn’t until she got to the “someone like me” part that it clicked, so I interrupted her.

Me: “I don’t hear voices.”

New Hire: “What?!”

Me: “I was just talking to myself.”

I found out later that she clocked out and never came back.